THE  LIBRARY 

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THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

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MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


VOL.  I. 


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MEMORIALS 


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THOMAS    HOOD. 


COLLECTED,    ARRANGED,    AND    EDITED    BY    HIS    DAUGHTER. 


WITH 


A  PREFACE  AND  NOTES  BY  HIS  SON. 


ILLUSTRATED   WITH   COPIES   FROM   HIS  OWN  SKETCHES. 


IN    TWO    VOLUMES. 


VOLUME   I. 


BOSTON: 
T  I  C  K  N  O  R     AND     F  I  E  I.  O  S  . 

M  DCCC  LX. 


COSSINGTON,    BkIDGEWATER,   EnO., 

Jmie  5,  1860. 
Messrs.  Ticknor  and  Fields, 
Boston,  U.  S. 

Gentlemen :  — 
We  grant  you  with  pleasure  all  the  right  we  can  to  reproduce 
tlie  "  Memorials "  in  the  United  States.     In  offering  you  the  early 
sheets  for  republication,  we  wish  you  all  success  in  the  undertaking, 
and  beg  to  sign  ourselves, 

Yours,  truly, 

TUE  CHILDREN  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

(Frances  Freeuno  Broderip.) 
(TUOMAS  IIuoD  ) 


Unlvcmlty  PrcM,   CainliridRC  : 
Stereotyped  and  Prbitcd  by  Wclcb,  Uigclow,  tt  Co. 


JcLiicutcb 


TO 


THE   PEOPLE 


FOR    WHOM    THOMAS    HOOD    WROTE   AND    LAROURKD. 


S2i6L  -. 

fccusr 


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PREFACE. 


In  submitting  the  following  memorials  to  the  public, 
my  sister  and  myself  would  wish,  at  the  first  outset,  to 
warn  those  who  think  to  find  in  them  fine  biographical 
writing,  that  the  book  is  not  for  them.  We  have  seen  too 
many  great  men  fail  in  that  art,  and  we  feel  no  desire 
to  emulate  them.  Our  own  part  in  this  wox-k  is  small, 
being  restricted  to  such  explanations  and  amplifications 
as  were  necessary  to  connect  the  letters,  to  which  we 
have  added,  here  and  there,  characteristic  anecdotes,  to 
which  reference  is  made  in  them. 

Our  language  we  have  endeavoured  to  render  as  simple 
as  possible.  If  therefore,  at  any  time,  it  warms  into  a 
higher  strain,  it  is  solely  at  the  promptings  of  the  heart, 
and  not  by  artistic  design.  Indeed,  any  such  trick  or 
premeditation  could  not  have  existed  at  the  same  time 
with  the  feelings  called  up  by  a  task,  how  solemn,  how 
sad,  and  how  unutterably  absorbing,  none  can  tell,  wlio 
have  not  expei-ienced  a  like  sensation  of  mingled  pleas- 


viii  PREFACE. 

ure  aud  pain  ;  for,  altliough  the  latter  predominate,  there 
is  some  of  the  former  in  the  performance  of  such  a  labour 
of  love. 

It  is  owing  chiefly  to  this  fact  that  the  publication  of  these 
volumes  has  been  so  long  delayed.  To  us,  to  turn  over 
the  MSS.  for  these  pages  —  to  consult  the  letters,  written 
in  that  well-known,  clear  hand  —  was  to  recall  to  memory 
such  a  flood  of  recollections  of  dead  joys,  of  long  past 
sorrows,  of  gentle,  loving  deeds  and  w^ords,  that  we  may 
well  claim  to  be  excused  if  we  were  slow  in  our  pro- 
gress, and  lingered  somewhat  over  pages,  that  were  often 
hidden  from  us  by  our  tears. 

Looking  back  now  on  my  own  emotion,  while  reading 
over  these  memorials,  I  can  scarcely  think  how  I  should 
be  so  moved  after  the  lapse  of  fifteen  years,  and  I  can 
fully  realise  how  intensely  painful  must  the  compilation 
have  been  to  my  sister,  who,  as  the  elder,  was  more  inti- 
mately connected  with,  and  has  a  clearer  memory  of  the 
events  chronicled,  than  I. 

We  are  well  aware  that  there  is  considerable  ground 
for  the  popular  objection  to  Biographies,  written  by  rela- 
tives ;  but  we  arc  of  opinion,  that,  in  this  ca-se,  the  ad- 
vantages to  be  gained  by  the  Editorship  of  some  leading 
literary  man  of  the  day,  are  more  than  balanced  by  the 
intimate  knowledge  and  understanding  we  have  of  all  the 
incidents  and  acts  of  our  father's  life.     Although,  as  will 


PREFACE.  ix 

be  seen,  he  numbered  among  his  friends  many  distin- 
guished -writers,  they  can  none  of  them  know,  nor  could 
we  impart  to  them  our  perceptions  (if  I  may  use  the  term) 
of  that  inner  private  life,  which  gave  a  stamp  to  the 
character  his  writings  claimed  for  him  —  that  of  a  benevo- 
lent, loving,  Christian  gentleman. 

We  are  the  better  enabled  to  prepare  these  memorials, 
because  we  were  never  separated,  for  any  length  of  time, 
from  our  parents,  neither  of  us  having  been  sent  to  a 
boarding-school,  or  in  our  earlier  years  confined  to  that 
edifying  domestic  Botany  Bay — the  Nursery  —  where 
children  grow  up  by  the  pattern  of  unwatched,  unedu- 
cated, hired  servants. 

How  our  father  ever  made  of  us  companions,  and  was 
ready  in  return  to  be  our  playfellow,  will  be  mentioned 
elsewhere. 

Having  then  undertaken  this  "  labour  of  love "  our- 
selves, in  preference,  with  all  humility  nevertheless,  to 
entrusting  it  to  others,  comparative  strangers,  however 
distinguished ;  we  repose,  hopefully,  on  the  generosity 
and  consideration  of  the  English  people,  with  whom  we 
have  ever  found  our  father's  name  a  passport  to  the 
sympathies. 

As  regards  the  form  and  arrangement  of  these  pages, 
a  few  words  only  are  necessary.  Each  Cliaptcr,  with 
the  cxco|)tion  of  two,  contains  the  events  of  a  year;  that 


X  PREFACE. 

having  appeared  to  us  the  most  simple  aud  natural  divis- 
ion. In  the  letters  we  have  done  our  best  to  omit  every- 
thing approaching  to  a  repetition.  If  we  have  not, 
altogether,  and  at  all  times  succeeded,  we  can  only  plead 
as  an  excuse  the  difficulties  we  have  had  to  encounter ; 
and  the  same  must  be  said  for  any  passage,  which  may 
give  unintentional  pain  to  those  mentioned  in  it. 

In  the  last  volume  we  have  ventured  to  reprint  some 
of  our  father's  less-known  effusions,  not  included  in  the 
later  editions  of  his  works,  and  to  offer  to  the  public  a 
few  pieces  hitherto  unpublished,  and,  for  the  most  pax-t, 
more  or  less  unfinished. 

The  illustrations  consist,  in  the  first  place,  of  two  fac- 
similes ;  the  one  of  a  sheet  of  the  "  Song  of  the  Shirt," 
as  first  written  out,  and  the  other  of  the  sketch  for  his 
own  monument  drawn  by  our  father  towards  the  close  of 
his  last  illness.  The  remaining  vignettes  are  from  sketches 
rapidly  dashed  off  by  him  for  our  amusement.  Many  of 
them  are  from  sheets  of  similar  oddities,  which  we  used 
to  find,  to  our  huge  delight,  lying  on  our  pillows  occasion- 
ally of  a  morning.  He  had  drawn  them  overnight,  be- 
fore going  to  rest,  after  the  long  hours  of  his  literary 
labour  were  done.  They  may  have  perhaps  too  great  a 
value  in  our  eyes,  but  we  have  added  them  to  complete 
the  memorials,  as  indications,  however  slight,  of  the  un- 
tiring humour,  and  self-forgetful  thought  for  the  [deasurc  of 


PREFACE.  xi 

others,  which  could  suggest  and  create  them  after  the  men- 
tal and  physical  labour  of  a  weary  night's  composition.* 

Having  explained  our  plan  in  these  volumes,  I  will  add 
a  few  words  on  a  subject  which  I  feel  it  my  duty  to  speak 
of  rather  plainly. 

It  has  always  been  a  popular  misconception  that  men 
of  letters,  as  a  rule,  are  freethinkei's.  It  is  my  own  earnest 
belief,  that  the  higher  mental  organization  and  refined 
sensibility  of  men  of  letters  render  them,  almost  to  a  fault, 
reserved  in  expressing  a  religious  foith,  for  the  very  rea- 
son that  they  feel  it  so  deej^ly  and  solemnly. 

My  father's  religious  faith  was  deep  and  sincere :  but 
it  was  but  little  known  to  a  world  ever  too  apt  to  decide 
by  hearing  professions,  rather  than  by  scrutinising  ac- 
tions. Those  to  whom  his  domestic  life  was  every  day 
revealed,  felt  how  he  lived  after  the  divine  requirements : 
for  he  "  did  justice,"  sacrificing  comfort,  health,  and  for- 
tune, in  the  endeavour;  he  "loved  mercy"  with  a  love 
that  was  whispering  into  his  ear,  even  as  he  was  dying, 
new  labours  for  his  unhappy  fellows ;  and  he  "  walked 
humbly  with  his  God  "  in  a  faith  too  rare  to  be  made  a 
common  spectacle  ;  for,  as  he  said  — 

"  I  consider  faith  and  prayers 
Among  the  privatest  of  men's  affairs." 

*  Another  reason  for  their  insertion  is,  that  they  will  give  a  fairer 
notion  of  his  artistic  skill,  to  which  the  cuts  in  the  Comic  Annuals 
iliil  but  inndoqiiatc  justice. 


xii  PREFACE. 


As  regarded  others'  opinions,  he  was  most  mdulgent. 

"  Intolerant  to  none 
Whatever  shape  the  pious  rite  may  bear  ; 
Ev'n  the  poor  heathen's  homage  to  the  Sun 
I  would  not  rashly  scorn  —  lest,  even  there 
I  spurn'd  some  element  of  Christian  prayer  ; 
An  aim,  tho'  erring,  at  a  '  woi-ld  ayont,' 
Acknowledgment  of  good,  of  man's  futility, 
A  sense  of  need,  and  weakness,  and  indeed 
The  very  thing  so  many  Christians  want  — 

Humility." 

In  a  similar  spirit,  he  bids  us  — 

"  Ne'er  o'erlook,  in  bigotry  of  sect, 
One  truly  Catholic,  one  common  form. 

At  which,  unchcck'd. 
All  Christian  hearts  may  kindle,  or  keep  warm. 
Say  —  was  it  to  my  spirit's  gain  or  loss, 
One  bright  and  balmy  morning,  as  1  went 
From  Liege's  lovely  environs  to  Ghent, 
If  hard  by  the  wayside  I  found  a  Cross, 
That  made  me  breathe  a  prayer  upon  the  spot  — 
Where  Nature  of  herself,  as  if  to  trace 
The  emblem's  use,  had  ti-ail'd  around  its  base 
The  blue  significant  Forgct-^Ie-Not  ? 
Mfthou;^ht  the  claims  of  Charity  to' urge 
More  forcibly,  along  with  Faith  and  iIoj)e, 
The  pious  choice  had  pitched  upon  the  verge 

Of  a  delicious  slope, 
Giving  the  eye  nuich  variegated  scope  ;  — 
'  Look  round,'  it  whisper'd,  '  on  that  prospect  rai'e, 
Tliose  vales  so  verdant,  and  those  hills  so  blue  ; 


PREFACE.  xiii 

Enjoy  the  sunny  world,  so  fresh  so  fair, 
But '  —  (how  the  simple  legend  pierced  me  thro' !) 
'  Pkiez  pour  LE8  Malheureux  ! ' " 

I  am  impelled  to  quote  one  more  passage  from  the 
"  Ode  to  Rae  Wilson,"  because  the  appealing  advice  con- 
tained in  it  has  since  been  acted  on.  I  wonder  does  any 
working-man,  when  he  attends  one  of  the  special  evening 
services  held  for  the  poor  and  the  labouring  classes  in  our 
metropolitan  minsters  and  churches,  ever  think  of  his 
affectionate  friend  and  advocate,  who  once  wrote  thus  ? 

"  Oh  !  simply  open  wide  the  Temple  door. 
And  let  the  solemn,  swelling  organ  greet. 

With  Voluntaries  meet. 
The  willing  advent  of  the  rich  and  poor  ! 
And,  while  to  God  the  loud  Hosannas  soar. 
With  rich  vibrations  from  the  vocal  throng  — 
From  quiet  shades  that  to  tlie  woods  belong. 

And  brooks  with  music  of  their  own. 
Voices  may  come  to  swell  the  choral  song 
With  notes  of  praise  they  learned  in  musings  lone  ! " 

Almost  my  father's  last  words  were,  "  Lord  —  say 
'  Arise,  take  up  thy  cross,  and  follow  me.' " 

He  had  borne  that  cross  during  his  whole  life,  but  the 
quiet  unobtrusive  religious  faith  I  have  endehvoured  to  de- 
scribe, supplied  him  with  exemplary  patience  under  severe 
sufferings,  with  cheerfulness  under  adverse  circumstances, 
with  a  manly  resolution  to  wrong  no  one,  with  an  iiffec- 


xiv  PREFACE. 

tionate  longing  to  alleviate  the  suffering  of  all  classes, 
and  with  a  charity  and  love  that  I  will  not  do  more  than 
touch  on,  for  fear  I  should  be  thought  to  be  carried  away 
by  my  feelings. 

My  mother  was  a  fitting  companion  for  such  a  husband : 
she  shared  his  struggles,  and  soothed  his  sorrow,  and  was 
so  much  a  part  of  his  very  existence,  that  latterly  he  could 
hardly  bear  her  out  of  his  sight,  or  write  when  she  was 
not  by  him.  "We  have  been  frequently  obliged  to  omit 
large  portions  of  his  letters  to  her  —  it  would  have  been 
sacrilege  to  alter  them,  and  we  did  not  feel  it  right  to 
publish  what  was  intended  for  her  eyes  alone  —  the  ten- 
der epithets,  and  the  love-talk ;  so  fond,  and  yet  so  true. 
I  quote  here  one  passage,  as  a  sample  of  those  which 
occur  so  frequently  in  the  letters. 

"  I  never  was  anything,  dearest,  till  I  knew  you  —  and 
I  have  been  a  better,  happier,  and  more  prosperous  man 
ever  since.  Lay  by  that  truth  in  lavender,  sweetest,  and 
remind  me  of  it  when  I  fail.  I  am  writing  warmly  and 
fondly ;  but  not  without  good  cause.  First,  your  own 
affectionate  letter,  lately  received  —  next  the  remem- 
brances of  our  dear  children,  pledges  —  what  darling 
ones!  —  of  our  old  familiar  love,  —  then  a  delicious  ira- 
I)ulsc  to  pour  out  tlie  overflowings  of  my  heart  into 
yours  ;  and  last,  not  least,  the  knowledge  that  your  dear 
eyes  will  read  wliat  my  hand  is  now  writing.     IVrliaps 


PREFACE.  XV 

there  is  an  after-thought  that,  whatever  may  befal  me, 
the  wife  of  my  bosom  will  have  this  acknowledgment  of 
her  tenderness  —  worth  —  excellence  —  all  that  is  wifely 
or  womanly,  from  my  pen." 

Throughout  his  long  illnesses  she  was  his  constant  nurse 
and  unwearying  companion,  nor  did  she  long  survive  him. 
One  trait  in  her  character  I  record  as  an  example  for 
mothers.  She  never,  even  in  the  most  unimportant  mat- 
ters, answered  my  childish  inquiries  as  to  the  various 
things,  which  naturally  attracted  my  young  thoughts,  with 
anything  but  the  truth.  I  can  truly  say  now  that  after- 
experience  has  never  discovered  anything,  in  which  she 
deceived  me,  as  some  do,  to  put  a  stop  to  tedious  ques- 
tionings. The  consequence  is,  thatj  in  many  matters  of 
faith,  hard  to  understand  and  grasp,  the  only  reason  I 
can  give  for  holding  them,  but  that  is  an  all-sufficient  one, 
is  "  that  I  learnt  to  believe  it  of  my  mother,  and  she  never 
taught  me  what  was  untrue."  That  memory  has  been  an 
anchor  on  which  I  have  rested,  when  otherwise  I  might 
have  lost  myself  in  blind  gropings  after  the  intangible. 

I  must  not  close  this  preface  (although  it  has  already 
exceeded  the  limits  I  assigned  it),  without  a  grateful  ref- 
erence to  Miss  Eliza  Cook,  and  the  originators  and  pro- 
moters of  the  movement,  which  led  to  the  erection  of  the 
noble  monument  to  my  father  in  Kcnsal  Green ;  a  mon- 
ument which  has  not  its  peer  in  England,  whether  for  the 


xvi  PREFACE. 

universal  subscriptions  ■which  raised  it,  or  for  the  chaste 
and  unique  noveUy  of  its  design. 

From  the  managers  and  furtherers  of  the  undeiiak- 
ing,  or  from  the  distinguished  names  on  the  subscription 
lists,  it  would  be  ungracious  and  invidious  to  select  any 
for  special  notice ;  but  a  similar  reason  to  that,  which  led 
me  to  connect  my  father's  slight  sketches  with  these  me- 
morials, induces  me  to  select  from  the  humbler  names  on 
the  lists  such  donations  as  the  following :  "  trifling  sums 
from  Manchester,  Preston,  Bideford,  and  Bristol  —  from 
a  few  poor  needlewomen  —  from  seven  dressmakers  — 
from  twelve  poor  men." 

I  should  be  wanting  indeed  in  appreciation  of  tlie  peo- 
ple's love  for  my  dead  father,  if  I  did  not,  (by  incorpo- 
rating them  with  this  work,)  endeavour  to  rescue  from 
oblivion  these  tokens  of  the  gentle  remembrance,  by  the 
poor,  of  the  Poet 


"  Who  sanji  the  Son"  of  the  Shirt." 


o 


T.  H. 


NoTR.  Tho  Vignette  on  page  vi.  is  a  sketch  of  tlie  arms,  which 
my  father  used  to  say  he  shouhl  adopt,  if  the  Qnccn  would  give 
him  a  grant  —  "a  heart,  pierced  witli  a  needle  threaded  with  silver 
tears,"  —  the  motto,  "He  Sang  tho  Song  of  tho  Shirt." 

The  crest  was  one  ho  selected  in  jest,  quoting  Shakespeare  —  "  The 
ox  hath  liis  bow,  sir;  the  iKjrsc  his  curb;  and  the  falcon  her  bells;" 
80  why  should  n't  the  Hood  have  his  hawk  ? 

It  is  worth  noticing  that  the  little  silhoiiotfcs  of  Animals,  Sec,  in- 
terspersed anif>ng  the  other  vignettes,  were  drawn  long  before  "  Punch" 
appeared  with  his  spirited  little  black  cuts. 


CONTENTS   OF   VOL.   I. 


CHAPTER    I. 

From  1799  to  1835. 

PAGE 

Birth  and  Parentage.  —  Apprenticed  to  an  Engraver.  —  Goes  to 
Scotland  for  his  Health.  —  Assistant  Sub-Editor  of  "  The  Lon- 
don." —  Acquaintance  with  the  Eejniolds  Family.  —  "  Odes  and 
Addresses."  —  He  marries  Miss  Jane  Reynolds.  —  Robert  Street, 
Adelphi.  —  Birtli  and  Death  of  First  Child.  —  "  Whims  and  Oddi- 
ties."— "National  Tales." —"  Plea  of  tlie  Midsummer  Fairies." 

—  Edits  "  The  Gem."  —  "  Eugene  Aram."  —  Winchmore.  — 
Birth  of  Second  Daughter.  —  Anecdotes,  Fondness  for  the  Sea, 
&c.  —  "  The  Comic  Annual."  —  Acquaintance  witli  the  Duke  of 
Devonshire.  —  The  Chatsworth  Library  Door.  —  "  Tylney  Hall." 

—  Connection  with  the  Stage.  —  Is  presented  to  his  Majesty 
King  William  IV.  —  Lake  House,  Wimstead.  —  Anecdotes,  &c.        1 

CHAPTER    II. 
1835. 

He  is  involved  in  Difficulties  by  the  Failure  of  a  Firm.  —  Birth  of 
only  Son.  — Ilhiess  of  Mrs.  Hood.  — Acquaintance  with  Dr.  El- 
liot. —  Goes  to  Germany.  —  Nearly  lost  in  the  "  Lord  Jlelville." 

—  At  Rotterdam.  —  Letters  to  liis  Wife.  —  .loined  by  her  and  tlie 
Cliildren  at  Coblenz.  —  Letter  from  Mrs.  Hood  to  Mrs.  Elliot.  — 
Acquaintance  with  Lieutenant  Do  Franck.  —  Letters  to  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Dilke,  Mr.  Wright,  and  Lieutenant  De  Franck.  .        .        .46 


xviii  *  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER    III. 

1836. 

rAOE 

At  Coblenz.  —  Letters  from  Mrs.  Hood  to  Mrs.  Elliot.  —  Letters  to 
Mr.  Wright  and  Mr.  Dilke.  —  Accompanies  the  19th  Polish  la- 
fnntry  in  their  March  to  Berlin.  —  Letters  to  his  Wife.  —  Returns 
to  Coblenz.  —  Illness.  —  Letters  to  Lieut,  de  Franck,  Mr.  Wright, 
and  Mr.  Dilke.  —  Commences  "  Up  the  Rhine."  ....  117 

CHAPTER    IV. 

.      1837. 

At  Coblenz.  —  Letters  to  Mr.  Wright,  Lieut,  de  Franck,  and  Dr. 
Elliot.  —  Leaves  Coblenz.  —  Settles  at  Ostend. —  Letters  to  Mr. 
Wright,  Dr.  Elliot,  and  Mr.  Dilke 222 

CHAPTER    V. 

1838. 

At  Ostend.  —  Illness.  —  "  Hood's  Own."  —  Mrs.  Hood  to  Mrs. 
Dilke.  —  Portrait  Painted  by  Mr.  Lewis.  —  Letters  to  Mr. 
Wright,  Lieut.  De  Franck,  and  Mr.  Dilke 276 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


CHAPTER    I. 

FROM   1799   TO   1835. 

Birth  and  Parentage.  —  Apprenticed  to  an  Engraver.  —  Goes  to  Scot- 
land for  his  Health.  — Assistant  Sub-Editor  of  "The  London."  — 
Acquaintance  with  the  RejTiolds  Family.  —  "  Odes  and  Addresses." 
—  He  marries  Bliss  Jane  Reynolds.  —  Robert  Street,  Adelphi.— 
Birth  and  Death  of  first  Child. —  "  Whims  and  Oddities."  — "  Na- 
tional Tales." —  "  Plea  of  the  Midsummer  Fairies."  —  Edits  "  The 
Gem."  —  "  Eugene  Aram."  — Winchmore.  —  Birth  of  second  Daugh- 
ter. —  Anecdotes,  Fondness  for  the  Sea,  &c.  — "  The  Comic  Annu- 
al." —  Acquaintance  with  the  Duke  of  Devonshire.  —  The  Chats- 
•n-orth  Library.  Door.  —  "  Tylney  Hall."  —  Connection  with  the 
Stage.  — Is  presented  to  his  Majesty  King  William  IV.  —  Lake 
House,  Wanstead.  —  Anecdotes,  &c. 

rT"^IIE  public  record  of  Thomas  Hood  has  been  long 
JL  before  the  world  —  either  in  the  quaint  jests  and 
witty  conceits,  that  enlivened  many  a  Chri.stmas  fireside ; 
or  in  the  poems,  M-hicli  were  his  last  and  best  legacy  to 
his  country.  All  tliat  remains  is  the  history  of  his  pri- 
vate life  —  that  "  long  disease,"  as  it  was  truly  called,  so 
long,  and  so  severe,  that  it  was  only  wonderful  that  the 
sensitive  mind  and  frail  body  had  not  given  way  before. 
From  his  earliest  years,  with   the  exception  of  a  few 

VOL.   I.  1  A 


2  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

bright  but  transient  gleams,  it  was  a  hand  to  hand  strug- 
gle with  straitened  means  and  adverse  circumstances. 
It  was  a  practical  illustration  of  Longfellow's  noble 
lines  — 

"  How  sublime  a  tiling  it  is 
To  suffer  and  be  strong." 

He  possessed  the  most  refined  taste  and  appreciation 
for  all  the  little  luxuries  and  comforts  that  make  up  so 
much  of  the  enjoyments  of  life ;  and  the  cares  and  an- 
noyances that  would  be  scarcely  perceptible  to  a  stronger 
and  rougher  organisation,  fell  with  a  double  weight  on 
the  mind  overtasked  by  such  constant  and  harassing  oc- 
cupation. He  literally  fulfilled  his  own  words,  and  was 
one  of  the  "  master  minds  at  journey-work  —  moral 
magistrates  greatly  underpaid  —  immortals  without  a  liv- 
ing—  menders  of  the  human  heart,  breaking  their  own 
—  mighty  intellects,  without  their  mite."  The  income 
his  works  now  produce  to  his  children,  might  then  have 
prolonged  his  life  for  many  years ;  although,  when  wc 
looked  on  the  calm  happy  face  after  death,  free  at  last 
from  the  painful  expression  that  had  almost  become  ha- 
bitual to  it,  we  dared  not  regret  the  rest  so  long  prayed 
for,  and  hardly  won. 

His  life,  like  that  of  most  modern  literary  men,  was 
very  barren  of  incident;  there  is  therefore  little  to  re- 
late, save  the  ebb  and  flow  of  health  and  strength  — 

"  As  in  his  breast  the  wave  of  hfc 
Kept  heaving  to  and  fro." 

The  reader  mu.^L  bear  this  in  mind,  if  wearied  with 
the  recurrence  of  the  cJn-onicle  of  sickness  and  suffering. 


irnMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  3 

With  the  distinct  and  even  minute  foreknowledge  of 
organic  and  mortal  disease,  liable  at  any  moment  to  a 
fatal  and  sudden  termination,  it  must  indeed  have  been  a 
brave  spirit  to  bear  so  cheerfully  and  courageously,  as  he 
did,  that  life,  which  was  one  long  sickness.  He  knew 
that  those  dearest  to  him  were  dependent  on  his  exer- 
tions, and  his  mental  powers  were  cramped  and  tied  down 
by  pecuniary  necessity ;  while  his  bodily  frame  was  en- 
feebled by  nervousness  and  exhaustion. 

Of  my  father's  birth  and  parentage  we  can  glean  but 
few  particulars  ;  his  own  joking  account  was,  that,  as  his 
grandmother  was  a  Miss  Armstrong,  he  was  descended 
from  two  notorious  thieves,  i.  e.  Robin  Hood  and  Johnnie 
Armstrong.  I  ha.ve  found  his  father's  name  mentioned 
in  "  Illustrations  of  the  Literary  History  of  the  Eigh- 
teenth Century,"  by  J.  B.  Nicholls,  F.S.A. :  — 

"August  20th.  —  At  Islington,  of  a  malignant  fever, 
originating  from  the  effects  of  the  night  air  in  travelling, 
Mr.  Thomas  Hood,  bookseller,  of  the  Poultry.  Mr.  Hood 
was  a  native  of  Scotland,  and  came  to  London  to  seek 
his  fortune,  where  he  was  in  a  humble  position  for  four  or 
five  years.  *  *  *  His  partner,  Mr.  Vernor,  died  soon 
afterwards.  Mr.  Thomas  Hood  married  a  sister  of  Mr. 
Vernor,  junior,  by  whom  he  had  a  large  family.  He  was 
a  truly  domestic  man,  and  a  real  man  of  business.  Mr. 
Hood  was  one  of  the  '  Associated  Booksellers,'  who  select- 
ed valuable  old  books  for  reprinting,  with  great  success. 
Messrs.  Vernor  and  Hood  afterwards  moved  into  the 
Poultry,  and  took  into  partnership  INIr.  C.  Sharpe.  The 
firm  of  Messrs.  Vernor  and  Hood  published  'The  Beau- 
ties of  England  and  Wales,'  '  The  IMirror,'  '  Blcomfield's 


4  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

Poems,'  and  those  of  Henry  Kirke  TVhite.  Mr.  Hood 
was  the  father  of  Thomas  Hood  the  celebrated  comic 
poet." 

The  above  account  is,  I  believe,  tolerably  correct, 
except  that  Mr.  Hood  married  a  Miss  Sands,  sister  to 
the  engraver  of  that  name,  to  whom  his  son  was  after- 
wards articled.  Mr.  Hood's  family  consisted  of  two  sons, 
James  and  Thomas,  and  four  daughters,  Ehzabeth,  Anne, 
Jessie,  and  Catherine.  At  his  house  in  the  Poultry,  on 
the  23d  of  May,  as  far  as  we  trace,  in  the  year  1799, 
was  born  his  second  son  Thomas,  the  subject  of  this 
memoir.  The  first  son,  James,  was  supposed  to  be  the 
most  promising,  fond  of  literature,  and  a  good  linguist,  a 
more  rare  accomplishment  then  than  now.  He  drew 
exceedingly  well  in  pen  and  ink,  and  water-colours,  as 
also  did  one  or  two  of  the  sisters.  The  elder  Mr.  Hood 
was  a  man  of  cultivated  taste  and  literary  inclinations, 
and  was  the  author  of  two  novels  which  attained  some 
popularity  in  their  day,  although  now  their  very  names 
are  forgotten.  No  doubt  his  favourite  pursuits  and  his 
profession  influenced  in  no  small  degree  the  amusements 
and  inclinations  of  his  children  ;  and,  for  those  days,  they 
must  have  been  a  very  fairly  intellectual  family. 

James  Hood,  however,  died  at  an  early  age,  a  victim 
to  consumption,  which  ultimately  carried  off  his  mother 
and  two  sisters.  After  the  sudden  death  of  the  father, 
the  widow  and  her  children  were  left  rather  slenderly 
provided  for.  INIy  father,  tlie  only  remaining  son,  pre- 
ferred the  drudgery  of  an  engi'aver's  desk  to  encroaciiing 
upon  the  small  family  store.  He  was  articled  to  his  un- 
cle, Mr.  Sands,  and  subse(iuently  was  transferred  to  one 


MEMORL\LS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  5 

of  the  Le  Keux.  lie  was  a  most  devoted  and  excellent 
son  to  his  mother,  and  the  last  days  of  her  widowhood 
and  decline  were  soothed  by  his  tender  care  and  affection. 
Her  death  wa?,  I  have  often  heard  him  say,  a  terrible 
blow  to  him.  I  have  now  in,  my  possession  a  little 
sketch  of  his,  of  his  mother's  face  as  she  lay  in  her  coffin. 
His  sister  Anne  did  not  survive  her  very  long,*  but  I 
cannot  ascertain  tJie  date  of  either  of  their  deaths. 

An  opening  that  offered  more  congenial  employment 
presented  itself  at  last,  when  he  was  about  the  age  of 
twenty-one.  By  the  death  of  Mr.  John  Scott,  the  editor 
of  the  "  London  ^Magazine,"  who  was  killed  in  a  duel, 
that  periodical  passed  into  other  hands,  and  became  the 
property  of  my  father's  friends,  Messrs.  Taylor  and  Hes- 
sey.  The  new  proprietors  soon  sent  for  him,  and  he  be- 
came a  sort  of  sub-editor  to  the  magazine. 

I  am  exceedingly  indebted  to  the  kindness  and  cour- 
tesy of  Messrs.  Taylor  and  Hessey  (who  have  both  sur- 
vived almost  all  their  contributors)  for  several  particulars 
relating  to  my  father's  early  life.  From  the  latter  gen- 
tleman's letter  on  the  subject  I  have  ventured  to  quote 
largely. 

"  I  remember,"  he  says,  "  often  having  seen  the  late 

*  The   lines  entitled   "The  Death-Bed,"  (in   the   "  Euglishmau's 
JIagrtzine,")  and  commencing, 

"  We  watched  her  breathing  through  the  night," 

were  written  at  tlie  time  of  Iier  death.  The  poem  has  been  frequently- 
quoted,  without  the  name  of  the  author,  and  so,  with  several  others  of 
my  father's  writings,  is  not  generally  known  to  bo  his.  Shortly  after 
my  father's  death,  when  "  The  Serious  Poems  "  were  published,  a 
Latin  translation  of  "  The  Ucath-Bed  "  appeared  in  the  "  Times."  — 
T.  H. 


6  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

Mr.  Hood  when  be  was  a  mere  boy  at  the  bouse  of  liis 
fatber,  wbom  I  bad  tbe  pleasure  of  knowing  intimately 
for  many  years.  He  was,  as  far  as  I  can  recollect,  a 
singular  child,  silent  and  retired,  Avith  much  quiet  hu- 
mour, and  apparently  delicate  in  health.  He  was,  I 
believe,  educated  at  a  school  in  the  neighbourhood  of 
London,*  and  at  the  age  of  fifteen  or  sixteen  was  articled 
to  his  uncle,  Mr.  Sands,  as  an  engraver.  His  health, 
however,  beginning  to  suffer  from  confinement,  it  was 
found  necessary  to  put  an  end  to  that  engagement,  and 
he  was  sent  to  a  relation  in  Scotland,!  where  he  remained 
some  years  with  great  benefit.  He  returned  to  town 
about  the  beginning  of  the  year  1821.     In  that  year  tbe 

*  This  school  was  either  at  Clapham  or  Camberwell.  I  can  re- 
member my  father's  pointing  it  out  to  me,  while  we  were  living  at 
tJie  latter  place.  At  that  time  it  was  converted  into  a  naval  school, 
I  think.  Of  many  schoolboy  tricks  and  adventures,  related  by  him,  I 
regret  that  I  can  recal  only  very  faint  recollections,  for  they  were 
very  laughable,  and  might  go  among  the  exempla  minora  to  prove  the 
rule  "  the  child  is  father  to  the  man."  Amongst  other  anecdotes,  I 
remember  one  in  which  he  was  the  instigator  of  a  purely  liomceo- 
patliic  revenge  upon  the  footman,  who  was  permitted  to  vend  nuts, 
parliament,  and  marbles  to  the  pupils.  Monopoly  of  trade  induced 
the  man  to  raise  the  price  above  the  "  outside  "  standard,  whereon 
characteristic  retaliation  was  inflicted  by  raising  the  articles  (that  is 
the  desk  in  which  they  were  kept)  by  four  cords  to  the  schoolhouse 
ceiling.  When  the  charges  were  lowered,  the  desk  was  permitted  to 
follow  their  example.  — T.  H. 

t  According  to  his  own  '  Literary  Iicminisconcos,'  he  was  clerk  iu 
a  merchant's  ofHce.  P.ut  I  doubt  \\\U,  as  most  probal)ly  a  "mis- 
chievous invention"  for  committing  puns.  He  was  two  years  in 
Scotland,  and  maile  his  first  a|)])earance  in  print  there  —  first  in  the 
Dundee  paper  in  a  letter,  and  afterwards  in  a  local  nnigazino.  He  did 
not,  however,  he  says,  adopt  literature  as  a  profession  till  long  after. 
—  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.         7 

'  London  IMagazine '  came  into  the  hands  of  Mr.  Taylor 
and  myself,  after  the  death  of  the  editor,  Mr.  John  Scott ; 
and  Mr.  Hood  was  engaged  to  assist  the  editor  in  correct- 
mg  the  press,  and  in  looking  over  papers  sent  for  inser- 
tion. This  was  his  first  introduction  to  the  literary  world  ; 
and  here  he  first  amused  himself  by  concocting  humorous 
notices  and  answers  to  correspondents  in  the  '  Lion's 
Head.'  *  His  first  original  paper  appeared  in  the  num- 
ber for  July,  1821,  vol.  iv.  p.  85,  in  some  verses  'To 
Hope.'  I  find  nothing  more  of  his  until  November  of 
the  same  year,  when  his  humorous  '  Ode  to  Dr.  Kitch- 
ener '  Appeared  in  the  '  Lion's  Head '  of  that  month  ;  a 
poem,  '  The  Departure  of  Summer,'  in  the  body  of  the 
number,  p.  493  ;  and  'A  Sentimental  Journey  from  Is- 
lington to  Waterloo  Bridge,'  in  the  same  number,  p.  508. 
From  that  time  he  became  a  regular  contributor,  and  as 
many  as  twenty-four  more  papers  of  various  kinds  ap- 

*  "  The  Echo,"  in  Hood's  Magazine,  was  a  continuation  of  tliis 
idea.  Some  of  the  replies  to  imaginary  letters  were  veiy  quaint.  I 
append  a  few,  extracted  at  random,  because  the  magazine  is  not  so 
well  known  or  so  often  met  with  now,  as  to  render  me  liable  to  the 
charge  of  quoting  what  every  one  knows. 

"  Verity.  It  is  better  to  have  an  enlarged  heart  than  a  con- 
tracted one,  and  even  such  a  hoemorrhage  as  mine  than  a  spitting 
of  spite." 

" '  A  Chapter  on  Bustles '  is  under  consideration  for  one  of  our 
Back-numbers." 

"  N.  N.  The  most  characteristic  '  Mysteries  of  London '  are  those 
which  have  lately  prevailed  on  the  land  and  the  river,  attended  by 
collisions  of  vessels,  robberies,  assaults,  accidents,  and  other  features 
of  Metropolitan  interest,  if  X.  N.  be  ambitious  of  competing  with  tlio 
writer,  whom  he  names,  let  him  try  his  hand  at  a  genuine,  solid, 
yellow  November  fog.  It  is  dirty,  dangerous,  smoky,  stinking,  ob- 
scure, unwholesome,  and  favorable  to  vice  and  violence."  —  T.  H. 


ft  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

peared,  the  last  being  '  Lines  to  a  Cold  Beauty,'  in  June, 
1823,  after  which  time  I  find  no  further  production  of  his 
pen. 

"  Mr.  Hood's  connection  with  the  '  Lpndon  Magazine ' 
led  to  his  introduction  to  our  friend  Mr.  Ecynolds  (and 
through  him  to  his  sister)  and  to  the  various  contributors 
to  the  work, —  Charles  Lamb,  Allan  Cunningham,  Ilazlitt, 
Horace  Smith,  Judge  Talfourd,  Barry  Cornwall,  the  Rev. 
IL  F.  Carey,  Sir  Charles  A.  Elton,  Charles  Phillips,  Dr. 
Bowring,  John  Clare,  Thomas  De  Quincey,  George  Dar- 
ley,  the  Rev.  Charles  Strong,  Wainwright,  Hartley  Cole- 
ridge, Bernard  Barton,  Richard  Ayton,  the  Rev.  Mr. 
Crowe,  Rev.  Julius  Hare,  Rev.  Dr.  Bliss,  John  Poole, 
Esq.,  &c.  &c. 

"At  the  end  of  the  year  1824  the  magazine  passed 
into  the  hands  of  another  person  as  proj)rietor  and  edi- 
tor, and  I  have  no  means  of  ascertaining  wlio  were  then 
its  chief  supporters ;  but  I  do  not  believe  Mr.  Hood  con- 
tributed to  it  at  all.  Mr.  Reynolds  continued  to  write  in 
that  work  till  the  end  of  the  year  1824. 

"  It  may  perhaps  be  interesting  to  you  to  have  a  list  of 
the  articles  contributed  by  Mr.  Hood,  and  I  have  great 
j)leasure  in  sending  you  the  enclosed,  which  I  believe  is 
tolerably  correct.  Most  of  them,  I  suppose,  have  been 
reprinted. 

"  My  acquaintance  with  IMr.  Hood  ceased  about  the 
year  1823,  till  which  time  I  had  enjoyed  the  pleasure  of 
constant  communication  with  him.  Soon  afterwards  I 
went  into  the  country,  and,  I  regret  to  say,  I  never  saw 
him  again." 


MEMORLVLS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD, 


PAPERS  CONTRIBUTED  TO  THE  "LONDON  MAGAZINE" 
BY  THE  LATE  THOMAS  HOOD. 

Vol.  IV.     July  to  December,  1821. 

Page    85.    To  Hope. 

468.     Ode  to  Dr.  Kitchener. 

493.  Departure  of  Summer. 

508.    Sentimental   Journey    from    Islington    to  Waterloo 
Bridge. 

Vol.  V.     January  to  June,  1822. 

Page      3.  "Please  to  ring  the  Belle." 

203.  Faithless  Sally  Brown. 

269.  The  Sea  of  Death.     - 

311.  To  Celia. 

375.  To  an  Absentee. 

404.  Moral  Reflections  written  on  the  top  of  St.  Paul's. 

422.  The  Stag-eyed  Lady. 

427.  On  Mr.  Martin's  Pictures  and  the  Bonassus. 

Vol.  VI.     July  to  December,  1822. 

Page  141.  Lycus  the  Centaur. 

276.  Hymn  to  the  Sun. 

304.  The  Two  Peacocks  of  Bedfont. 

388.  "  Now  the  loud  cry."  —  Nimrod. 

494.  Midnight. 

497.     On  a  Sleeping  Child. 

517.    Presentiment.    A  Fragment. 

536.    Sonnet,  "  Most  delicate  Ariel." 

Vol.  VII.     January  to  June,  1823. 

Page    96.  Fair  Ines. 

187.  Ode  to  Autumn. 

215.  Sonnet  to  Silence. 

541.  Sonnet  written  in  Keats'  "  Eudymion." 

565.  Sonnet  to  an  Enthusiast. 

636.  Sonnet— Death. 

660.  To  a  Cold  Beauty. 
1* 


10  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

My  father's  first  acquaintance  with  my  mother's  family 
must  have  commenced  somewhere  in  1821,  through  her 
brother,  John  HamiUon  Reynolds.  The  father,  Mr.  Rey- 
nolds, was  head  writing-master  at  Christ's  Hospital,  and 
with  his  family  then  resided  in  that  very  Little  Britain 
so  quaintly  and  well  described  by  Washington  Irving  in 
his  "  Sketch  Book."  Here,  no  doubt,  many  a  cheerful 
evening  was  spent  among  such  a  pleasant  circle  of  friends 
and  acquaintances.  John  Keats,  Edward  Rice,  and  a 
Mr.  Bailey  were  all  familiar  friends  and  constant  corre- 
spondents of  the  young  Reynoldses.  I  think  however  my 
father's  intimacy  dated  rather  later,  for  I  do  not  think  he 
was  well  acquainted  with  any  of  the  above  mentioned 
trio.  But  about  this  time  must  have  originated  his  long- 
standing friendship  with  Mr.  and  Airs.  Dilke,  who  were 
known  to  all  parties. 

John  Hamilton  Reynolds  was  himself  a  writer  for  the 
"  London  Magazine,"  in  which  appeared  several  ai'tieles 
from  his  pen,  under  the  signature  of  "  Edward  Herbert." 
He  was  also  the  author  of  a  small  volume  of  poems, 
"  The  Garden  of  Florence,"  which  was  favourably  noticed 
at  the  time.  To  him,  my  father,  in  a  very  friendly  manner, 
dedicated  "  Lycus  the  Centaur."  A  congeniality  of  pur- 
suits and  likings  drew  them  together  —  a  connection  that 
was  afterwards  by  my  father's  marriage  with  his  sister  to 
be  still  further  strengthened.  It  was  a  j)ity  it  did  not 
survive  to  the  end,  for  on  one  side  at  least  it  was  charac- 
teristically generous  and  sincere.* 

*  My  uncle  is  often  referred  to  in  the  letters  as  "  John."  A  frequent 
correspondence  was  kept  up  between  my  father  and  him,  which  would 
have  afforded  materials  of  much  value  towards  the  compilation  of  these 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  u 

It  was  "  in  the  pleasant  spring-time  of  their  friendship," 
and  "  with  the  old  partiality  for  the  writings  of  each  other, 
which  prevailed  in  those  days,"  that  many  pleasant  versi- 
fied encounters  occurred.  This  may  be  instanced  by  the 
following  verses  which  were  inserted  in  the  "Athenteum." 
"When  Miss  Fanny  Kemble  took  leave  of  the  English 
stage,  at  her  farewell  performance  she  took  off  her 
wreath  and  threw  it  into  the  body  of  the  house.  The 
following  verses  were  written  by  my  father,  as  from  a 
young  farmer  in  the  country. 

inSS  FANNY'S  FAREWELL  FLO^VERS. 

Not  "  the  posie  of  a  ring." 

SiLS^KESPEARE  (all  but  the  not). 

I  came  to  town  a  happy  man, 

I  need  not  now  dissemble 
Why  I  return  so  sad  at  heart. 

It 's  all  through  Fanny  Kemble. 
Oh,  when  she  threw  her  flowers  away, 

What  uro;ed  the  tragic  slut  on 
To  weave  in  such  a  wreath  as  that, 

Ah  me,  —  a  bachelor's  button  ! 

None  fought  so  hard,  none  fought  so  well, 

As  I  to  gain  some  token  — 
When  all  the  pit  rose  up  in  arms. 

And  heads  and  hearts  were  broken  ; 

memorials.  I  regret  to  say  they  are  unavailable,  owing  to  Mrs.  John 
Reynolds'  refusal  to  allow  us  access  to  them.  It  is  a  great  disappoint- 
ment that  the  public  should  be  thus  deprived  of  what  would  become 
its  property  after  publicatiou  —  the  records  of  one  of  its  noted  writ- 
ers. —  T.  H. 


12  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

Huzza !  said  I,  I  '11  have  a  flow'r 
As  sure  as  my  name  's  Dutton. 

I  made  a  snatch  —  I  got  a  catch  — 
By  Jove  !  a  bachelor's  button  ! 

I  've  lost  my  watch  —  my  hat  is  smashed  ■ 

My  clothes  declare  the  racket ; 
I  went  there  in  a  full  dress  coat, 

And  came  hopie  in  a  jacket. 
My  nose  is  swell'd,  my  eye  is  black, 

My  lip  I  've  got  a  cut  on  — 
Odds  buds  !  —  and  what  a  bud  to  get  — 

The  deuce  !  a  bachelor's  button  ! 

My  chest 's  in  pain ;  I  really  fear 

I  've  somewhat  hurt  my  bellows, 
By  pokes  and  punches  in  the  ribs 

From  those  herb-slrewing  fellows. 
I  miss  two  teeth  in  ?n//  front  row ; 

JNIy  corn  has  had  a  fut  on  ; 
And  all  this  pain  I  've  had,  to  gain 

This  cursed  bachelor's  button ! 

Had  I  but  won  a  rose  —  a  bud  — 

A  pansy  —  or  a  daisy  — 
A  periwinkle  —  anything 

But  this  —  it  drives  me  crazy ! 
My  very  sherry  tastes  like  squills, 

I  can't  enjoy  my  mutton  ; 
And  when  I  sleoj)  I  dream  of  it  — 

Still  —  still  —  a  bachelor's  button  ! 

My  place  is  booked  per  coach  to-night, 
But  oh,  my  spirit  trembles 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        13 

To  think  how  country  friends  will  ask 

Of  Kiiowleses  and  of  Kembles. 
If  they  should  breathe  about  the  wreath, 

When  I  go  back  to  Sutton, 
I  shall  not  dare  to  show  my  share  — 

That  all !  —  a  bachelor's  button  ! 

My  luck  in  life  was  never  good, 

But  this  my  fate  will  harden  : 
I  ne'er  shall  like  my  farming  more,  — 

I  know  I  shan't  the  Garden. 
The  turnips  all  may  have  the  fly, 

The  wheat  may  have  the  smut  on,  — 
I  care  not,  —  I've  a  blight  at  heart — 

Ah  me !  a  bachelor's  button ! 


To    this    Mr.    Reynolds    replied    with    the     follow- 


ing- 


LEsES   TO  mSS   F.   IvEMBLE, 

ON    THE   FLOWER    SCUFFLE    AT    COVENT    GARDEN    THEATRE. 

By  Cuel-Pated  Huon. 

"  Make  a  scramble,  gentlemen,  —  make  a  scramble." 

Boys  at  Greenwich. 

Well,  this  flower  strewing  I  must  say  is  sweet. 

And  I  long,  Mss  Kemble,  to  throw  myself  considerably  at  your 

feet; 
For  you  've  made  mo  a  happy  man  in  the  scuffle,  when  you 

jerk'd  about  tJie  daisies ; 
And  ever  since  the  night  you  kiss'd  your  hand  to  mo  and  tlio 

rest  of  the  pit,  I  've  been  chuck  full  of  yoiu-  praises  ! 


14        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

I  'm  no  hand  at  wiiting  (though  I  can  say  several  things  that 's 

handsome) ; 
But  that  ignorance,  thank  my  stars !  got  me  off  when  I  was 

tried  for  forging  upon  Ransome. 
I  did  n't  try  to  get  the  flowers,  which  so  many  of  your  ardent 

achnirers  were  eager  to  snatch  ; 
But  I  got  a  very  good-going  chronometer,  and  for  your  sake 

I  '11  never  part  with  the  watch ! 

I  've  several  relics  from  those  who  got  your  relics  —  a  snuff- 
box —  a  gold  snap ; 

A  silver  guard  and  trimmings  from  a  very  eager  young  chap ; 

Two  coat  flaps  with  linings,  from  a  youth,  who  defying  blows 

And  oaths,  and  shovings,  was  snatching  at,  and  I  'm  sorry  to 
say  missing,  the  front  rosfe  ! 

One  aspiring  young  man  from  the  country  rushed   at  the 

wreath  like  a  glutton, 
But  he  retired  out  of  the  conflict  with  only  a  bachelor's  button  ! 
Another  in  a  frenzy  fought  for  the  flowers  like  anything  crazy, 
But  I  've  got  his  slirt-pin,  and  he  only  got  two  black  eyes  and 

a  daisy. 

The  thought  of  you  makes  me  rich  —  Oh,  you're  a  real  friend 

to  free  trade ; 
You  agitate  'em  so  and  take  their  attention  off  —  If  you  'd 

keep  farewelliug  my  fortune 'd  be  made. 
Oh,  how  I  shall  liate  to  make  while  soup  of  the  silver,  or  part 

with  anytlikig  for  your  sake ! 
I'll  wear  the  country  gentleman's  brooch,  on  your  account, 

it 's  so  very  pretty  a  make  I 

J  didn't  get  a  bud  — indeed,  I  was  just  at  the  moment  busy 

about  otlicr  things ; 
I  wish  you  'd  allow  me  to  sliow  you  a  choice  assortment  of 

rinirs  — 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  15 

You  understand  the  allusion;  but  I'm  in  earnest — that's 

■what  I  am ; 
And  though  I  'm  famous  a  little  —  domestic  happiness  ia  better 

than  all  fame  ! 

Well,  you're  going  over  the  water —  (it  may  be  my  turn  one 

of  these  days) ; 
Never  heed  -what  them  foreigners  the  Americans  says  ! 
But  hoard  your  heart  up  till  you  come  back,  and  if  I  luckily 

can 
Scrape  up  enough,  you  shall  find  me  yours,  and  a  very  altered 

young  man ! 

Conjointly  with  my  uncle  Reynolds,  my  father  wrote 
and  published,  although  anonymously,  "  Odes  and  Ad- 
dresses to  Great  People."  This  had  a  great  sale,  and 
occasioned  no  little  wonder  and  speculation  as  to  the 
author,  as  will  be  seen  from  the  following  letter  from  S. 
T.  Coleridge  to  Charles  Lamb.  It  appears  to  have  been 
sent  for  perusal,  as  the  copy  I  have  is  in  my  father's 
handwritine:. 


'o' 


My  dear  Charles, 
This  afternoon,  a  little,  thin,  mean-looking  sort  of 
a  foolscap  sub-octavo  of  poems,  printed  on  dingy  out- 
sides,  lay  on  the  table,  which  the  cover  informed  me  was 
circulating  in  our  book-club,  so  very  Grub-strcetish  in  all 
its  exteriors,  internal  as  well  as  external,  that  I  cannot 
explain  by  what  accident  of  impulse  (assuredly  there  was 
no  motive  in  play)  I  came  to  look  into  it.  Least  of  all. 
the  title,  "  Odes  and  Addresses  to  Great  Men,"  wliicli 
connected  itself  in  my  head  with  "  Rejected  Addi-esses  " 


16        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

and  all  the  Smith  and  Theodore  Hook  squad.  But  my 
dear  Charles,  it  was  certainly  written  by  you,  or  under 
you,  or  una  cum  you.  I  know  none  of  your  frequent 
visitors  capacious  and  assimilative  enough  of  your  con- 
verse to  have  reproduced  you  so  honestly,  supposing  you 
had  left  yourself  in  pledge  in  his  lock-up  house.  Gillman, 
to  whom  I  read  the  spirited  parody  on  the  introduction 
to  Peter  Bell,  the  "  Ode  to  the  Great  Unknown,"  and  to 
]Mrs.  Fry  —  he  speaks  doubtfully  of  Reynolds  and  Hood. 
But  here  come  Irving  and  Basil  Montagu. 

Thursday  night,  10  o'clock.  —  No !  Charles,  it  is  you. 
I  have  read  them  over  again,  and  I  understand  why  you 
have  anon'd  the  book.  The  puns  are  nine  in  ten  good, 
many  excellent,  the  Newgatory  transcendant !  And  then 
the  exetnplum  sine  exempio  of  a  volume  of  personalities, 
and  contemporaneities,  without  a  single  line  that  could  in- 
flict the  infinitesimal  of  an  unpleasance  on  any  man  in  his 
senses  —  saving  and  except  perhaps  in  the  envy-addled 
brain  of  the  despiser  of  your  lays.  If  not  a  triumph  over 
him,  it  is  at  least  an  ovation.  Then  moreover  and  besides, 
to  speak  with  becoming  modesty,  excepting  my  own  self, 
wlio  is  there  but  you  who  could  write  the  musical  lines 
and  stanzas  that  are  intermixed  ? 

Here's  Gillman  come  up  to  my  garret,  and  driven 
back  by  the  guardian  spirits  of  four  huge  flower-holders 
of  omnigenous  roses  and  honeysuckles  (Lord  have  mer- 
cy on  his  hysterical  olfactories  !  What  will  he  do  in 
Paradise  ?  I  must  have  a  pair  or  two  of  nostril  plugs  or 
nose-goggles  laid  in  his  codin),  stands  at  the  door,  read- 
ing that  to  I\Ic  Adam,  and  the  washerwoman's  letter,  and 
he  admits  the  facts.     You  are  found  in  the  manner,  as 


MEMORLVLS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  17 

the  lawyers  say  ;  so,  ]Mr.  Charles,  hang  yourself  up,  and 
send  me  a  line  by  way  of  token  and  acknowledgment. 
My  dear  love  to  Mary.     God  bless  you  and  your 

Unshamabrami  zer, 

S.  T.  Coleridge. 

On  the  5th  of  May,  1824,  the  marriage  of  my  father 
and  mother  took  place.*  In  spite  of  all  the  sickness  and 
sorrow  that  formed  the  greatest  portion  of  the  after-part 
of  their  lives,  the  union  was  a  happy  one.  My  mother 
was  a  woman  of  cultivated  mind  and  literary  tastes,  and 
well  suited  to  him  as  a  companion.  lie  had  such  confi- 
dence in  her  judgment  that  he  read,  and  re-read,  and 
corrected  with  her  all  that  he  wrote.  Many  of  his  arti- 
cles were  first  dictated  to  her,  and  her  ready  memory 
supplied  him  with  his  references  and  quotations.  He 
frequently  dictated  the  first  draft  of  his  articles,  although 
they  were  always  finally  copied  out  in  his  peculiarly 
clear  neat  writing,  which  was  so  legible  and  good,  that  it 
was  once  or  twice  begged  by  printers,  to  teach  their  com- 
positors a  first  and  easy  lesson  in  reading  handwriting. 

Of  late  years  my  mother's  time  and  thoughts  were  en- 
tirely devoted  to  him,  and  he  became  restless  and  almost 
seemed  unable  to  write  unless  she  were  near. 

The  first  few  years  of  his  married  life  were  the  most 

*  I  have  reason  to  believe  that  the  match  was  not  entirely  approved 
of  by  my  mother's  family  —  not  perhaps  unreasonably,  for  it  could  not 
have  seemed  very  prudent:  but  the  attachment  was  strong  and  gen- 
uine on  both  sides,  and  so  the  course  of  true  love  at  length  reached  its 
.  goal,  though  not  perhaps  nmning  very  smoothly.  The  poems,  "  1  love 
Thee,"  "  Still  flows  the  gentle  streamlet  on,"  and  several  others,  wore 
written  at  this  time.  —  T.  U. 

D 


18        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

unclouded  my  father  ever  knew,  The  young  couple  re- 
sided for  some  years  in  Robert  Street,  Adelphi.  Here 
was  born  their  first  child,  which  to  their  great  grief 
scarcely  survived  its  birth.  In  looking  over  some  old 
papers  I  found  a  few  tiny  curls  of  golden  hair,  as  soft  as 
the  finest  silk,  wrapped  in  a  yellow  and  time-worn  paper 
inscribed  in  my  father's  handwriting  :  — 

"  Little  eyes  that  scarce  did  see, 

Little  lips  that  never  smiled  ; 

Alas  !  my  little  dear  dead  child, 
Death  is  thy  father,  and  not  me, 
I  but  embraced  thee,  soon  as  he  !  " 

On  this  occasion  those  exquisite  lines  of  Charles 
Lamb's,  "  On  an  infant  dying  as  soon  as  born,"  were 
written  and  sent  to  my  father  and  mother. 

I  much  regret  that  there  is  no  record  left  of  the  pleas- 
ant days  of  this  intimacy  with  Charles  Lamb  and  his  sis- 
ter. It  was  a  very  lively  and  sincere  friendship  on  both 
sides,  and  it  lasted  up  to  the  time  of  Mr.  Lamb's  death. 
When  my  father  lived  at  "Winchmore,  the  Lambs  were 
settled  at  Enfield,  so  that  they  were  tolerably  near  neigh- 
bours. My  father's  "  Literary  Reminiscences,"  in  "  Hood's 
Own,"  are  almost  the  sole  memorials  left  of  his  acquaint- 
ance with  all  those,  who  form  such  a  brilliant  list  in  Mr. 
Hessey's  letter.*     But  few  now  survive,  nor  are  there 

*  One  of  them —  \Vain^\Tight  —  in  the  7th  vol.  of  "  The  London  " 
(1823)  criticises  mj-  father's  bent  and  style  with  such  an  accurate  per- 
ception of  them,  as  to  fore^tal  all  later  critics.  My  father  wrote  occa- 
sionally under  the  name  of  Theodore  M . 

"  Young  Theodore  !  young  in  years,  not  in  power  I  Our  new  Ovid ! 
—  only  more  imaginative !  —  Paiutor  to  the  visible  eye  —  and  the  in- 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  19 

any  written  memoranda  upon  wliicli  to  found  any  chron- 
icle of  that  period :  living  so  near,  and  being  on  such  in- 
timate terms  with  many  of  them,  was  almost  sufficient 
reason  that  but  few  letters  remain  to  throw  any  light  on 
the  subject.  Had  they  lived  in  the  time  of  the  penny 
post,  there  would  probably  have  been  a  goodly  collection 
of  "notelets"  or  "  chits,"  but  in  those  days  of  heavy  post- 
age, a  letter  was  a  more  serious  undertaking. 

In  1826  appeared  the  first  series  of  "  Whims  and  Od- 
dities," which  had  a  very  good  sale.  It  was  dedicated  to 
the  "Reviewers"  in  a  humorous  sort  of  epigram  as  fol- 
lows :  — 

DEDICATION. 

TO    THE   KEVIEWERS. 

What  is  a  modern  Poet's  fate  ? 
To  write  his  thoughts  upon  a  slate  : 
The  critic  spits  on  what  is  done, 
Gives  it  a  wipe  —  and  all  is  gone  ! 

•v\rard;  —  commixture  of  what  the  supei-ficial  deem  incongraous  ele- 
ments! —  Instructive  living  proof  how  close  lie  the  founts  of  laughter 
and  tears !  Thou  fermenting  brain  —  oppressed,  as  yet,  by  its  own 
riches.  Though  melancholy  would  seem  to  have  touched  thy  heart 
with  her  painful  (salutary)  hand,  yet  is  tliy  fancy  mercurial  —  unde- 
pressed; —  and  sparkles  and  crackles  more  from  the  contact  —  as  the 
northern  lights  when  they  near  the  frozen  pole.  How !  is  tiie  fit  not 
on?  Still  is  '  Lycus'  without  mate]  —  Who  can  mate  him  but  thy- 
self? Let  not  the  shallow  induce  thee  to  conceal  this  thy  depth. 
*  *  *  *  As  for  thy  word  gambols,  thy  humour,  thy  fantastic-^ 
thy  curiously-conceited  perceptions  of  similarity  in  dissimilarity,  of 
coherents  in  incolierents,  they  are  brilliantly  suave,  innocuously  ex- 
hilarating;—  but  not  a  step  farther  if  thou  lovest  thy  proper  peace! 
Read  the  fine  of  the  eleventh,  aii<l  the  whole  of  the  twelfth  chapter  of 
'  Tristram  Shandy; '  and  believe  them,  dear  Theodore!  " 


20  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

This  first  series  took  so  well  with  the  public,  that  a 
second  edition  followed,  —  and  some  time  afterwards,  in 
1827,  a  second  series  appeared,  dedicated  to  Sir  Walter 
Scott.  This  was  followed  by  two  volumes  of  "  National 
Tales,"  a  series  of  stories,  or  rather  novelettes,  somewhat 
in  the  manner  of  Boccaccio.  These  are  now  utterly  out 
of  print ;  they  were  published  by  JMi*.  W.  II.  Ainsworth, 
then  living  in  Bond  Street. 

The  "Plea  of  the  Midsummer  Fairies,"*  a  very  fa- 
vourite poem  of  his  own,  appeared  in  1827,  but  it  did 
not  exactly  suit  the  public  taste,  and  many  copies  re- 
mained unsold  on  the  publisher's  shelf.     My  father  after- 

*  This  most  artistic  poem  has  latterly  been  more  fairly  appreciated 
in  spite  of  its  antiquated  style.  The  art,  truth,  and  pictorial  skill,  as 
in  the  "  Haunted  House,"  require  patient  and  quiet  criticism.  I  may 
mention  in  reference  to  this  subject,  that  the  first  book  (of  course,  by 
Lamb's  rules,  "  Readings  made  Easy  "  and  the  like  are  not  books)  that 
I  read  was  selected  by  my  father,  and  was  the  "  Midsummer  Night's 
Dream."  Of  this  I  read  all  the  fairy  portion  one  summer's  day, 
perched  at  an  open  window  on  a  fitting  couch  composed  of  bales  of 
"  sheets  "  —  probably  the  sheets  of  the  very  work  which  suggested 
this  note.     At  that  time  I  was  about  seven  years  old. 

It  is  not  out  of  place  here  to  insert  a  sonnet  by  the  late  Mr.  Moxon, 
of  Dover  Street.  That  gentleman  was  an  old  friend  of  my  father's, 
whom  I  have  frequently  heard  speak  of  him  in  the  wannest  terms,  as 
one  whose  own  talents  enabled  him  to  recognise  genius  in  others,  and 
whose  integrity  and  liberality  as  a  man  of  business  were  without 
parallel.  My  father,  not  often  fo;-tunato  in  his  dealings,  used  to  say, 
"Moxon  is  the  only  honest  publisher  I  know,"  —  a  sentence  which, 
though  severe,  was  warranted  by  his  experience,  and  the  losses  he  had 
met  with  through  dishonesty.  It  remains  —  a  most  grateful  task  — 
for  my  sister  and  myself  to  add  our  heartfelt  tribute  to  our  father's 
praise  of  Mr.  Moxon.  Wo  shall  never  forget  his  generous  arrange- 
ments for  the  publication  of  our  father's  poems  after  his  death  ;  and 
most  deeply  do  we  regret  that  Mr.  Moxon  lias  not  lived  to  superintend 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        21 

wards  bought  up  the  remainder  of  the  edition,  as  he  said 
himself,  to  save  it  from  the  butter  shops. 

The  poem  of  '•  Eugene  Aram's  Dream"  first  appeared 
in  an  annual  called  the  "  Gem,"  of  which  in  the  year 
1829  he  was  editor,  but  it  was  afterwards  republished  in 
a  separate  form  with  drawings  by  Harvey,  an  intimate 
friend  of  my  fathei"'s. 

In  1829  he  left  London  for  TVinchmore  Ilill,  where  he 
took  a  very  pretty  little  cottage  situated  in  a  pleasant 
garden.  He  was  very  much  attached  to  it,  and  many 
years  afterwai'ds  I  have  known  him  point  out  some  fan- 
cied resemblance  in  other  places,  and  say  to  my  mother, 
"  Jenny,  that 's  very  like  Winclmiore."  It  is  a  pretty 
neighbourhood  even  now,  when  the  great  metropolis  has 

the  publication  of  these  Memorials  of  one,  between  whom  and  himself 
so  cordial  a  friendship  existed.  —  T.  II. 

SONNET. 

TO  T.  HOOD,  WKITTKN  AFTER  READING  HIS  "  PLEA  OF  THE 
MIDSUMMER   FAIRIES." 

Delightful  Bard !  what  praises  meet  are  thine, 
More  than  my  verse  can  sound  to  theo  belong; 

Well  hast  thou  pleaded,  with  a  tongue  divine, 
In  this  thy  sweet  and  newly-breath(!!d  song, 
Where  like  the  stream  smooth  numbers  gliding  throng: 

Gathered,  methinks,  I  see  the  Elfin  Race, 
With  the  Immortal  standing  them  among, 

Smilitig  benign  with  more  than  courtly  grace  ;  — 

Rescued  I  see  them  —  all  their  gambols  trace, 
With  their  fair  Queen  Titania  in  her  bower. 

And  all  their  avocations  small  embrace. 
Pictured  by  thee  with  a  Shaksperian  power  — 
Oil,  when  the  time  shall  come  thy  soul  must  llee. 
Thai  may  some  hidden  spirit  plead  for  thee.  —  Edward  Moxojf. 


22  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

encroached  far  on  the  "  Green  Lanes,"  and  in  those  days 
no  doubt  was  considered  quite  in  the  country. 

An  amusing  incident  took  place  during  their  remo-val 
from  town.  A  large  hamper  of  glass  and  china  had  ar- 
rived from  town  by  the  carrier  one  morning,  and  the  con- 
tents, being  unpacked,  were  placed,  pro  tempore,  on  a 
dresser  in  the  china  closet.  This  wooden  shelf  had  been 
only  newly  mortared  into  the  wall,  and  when  all  this 
weight  was  put  on  it,  of  course  it  came  suddenly  down 
with  an  alarming  crash.  My  fother  who  was  within 
hearing  soon  came  to  the  scene  of  action,  or  rather  frac- 
tion, and,  after  coolly  surveying  the  damage,  very  quietly 
sent  the  maid  to  her  mistress  with  the  message  "  that  the 
china  which  came  up  in  the  morning,  had  come  doicn  in 
the  evening."  This  to  his  great  amusement  brought  my 
mother,  in  a  state  of  utter  mystification,  to  the  scene  of 
the  catasti-ophe.  They  were,  however,  both  cheerful  peo- 
ple, and  the  breakage  was  borne  with  tolerable  philoso- 
phy on  both  sides. 

He  enjoyed  playing  off  little  harmless  practical  jokes 
on  my  mother,  who  on  her  part  bore  them  with  the 
sweetest  temper,  and  joined  in  the  laugh  against  herself 
afterwards  with  great  good  humour.  She  was  a  capital 
subject  for  his  fun,  for  she  believed  implicitly  in  whatever 
he  told  her,  however  improbable,  and  though  vowing  se- 
riously every  time  not  to  be  taken  in  again,  she  was  sure 
to  be  caught.  Her  innocent  face  of  wonder  and  belief 
added  greatly  to  the  zest  of  the  joke. 

On  one  occasion  soon  after  their  marriage,  my  father 
was  suddenly  seized  with  rheumatic  fever  of  a  severe 
kind.     On  his  partial  recovery  he  was  ordered  to  Brigh- 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  23 

ton  to  recruit  his  strength.  Sea  air  always  produced  a 
beneficial  effect  on  his  health ;  and  for  many  years  he 
was  in  the  habit  of  visiting  Brighton,  or  his  favourite 
haunt,  Hastings,  for  a  few  weeks. 

At  the  time  I  mention  he  was  so  weak  as  to  be  oblijied 
to  be  lifted  into  the  coach  at  starting,  but  the  next  day, 
refreshed  by  the  first  breath  of  the  bracing  air,  he  was 
almost  himself.  At  breakfast  he  offered  to  give  my 
mother  a  few  hints  on  buying  fish,  adducing  his  own  su- 
perior experience  of  the  sea,  as  a  reason  for  informing 
her  ignorance  as  a  young  housekeeper.  "Above  all 
things,  Jane,"  said  he,  "  as  they  will  endeavour  to  impose 
upon  your  inexperience,  let  nothing  induce  you  to  buy  a 
plaice  that  has  any  appearance  of  red  or  orange  spots,  as 
they  are  sure  signs  of  an  advanced  stage  of  decomposi- 
tion." My  mother  promised  faithful  compliance  in  the 
innocence  of  her  heart,  and  accordingly  when  the  fish- 
woman  came  to  the  door,  she  descended  to  show  off  her 
newly  acquired  information.  As  it  happened,  the  wo- 
man had  very  little  except  plaice,  and  these  she  turned 
over  and  over,  praising  their  size  and  freslmess.  But 
the  obnoxious  red  spots  on  every  one  of  them  still  greet- 
ed my  mother's  dissatisfied  eyes.  On  her  hinting  a  doubt 
of  their  freshness,  she  was  met  by  the  assertion  that  they 
were  not  long  out  of  the  water,  having  been  caught  that 
morning.  This  shook  my  mother's  doubts  for  a  moment, 
but  remembering  my  father's  portrayal  of  the  Brigliton 
fishwomen's  iniquitous  falsehoods,  she  gravely  shook  her 
head,  and  mildly  observed,  in  all  the  pride  of  conscious 
knowledge,  "  My  good  woman,  it  may  be  as  you  say,  but 
I  could  not  think  of  buying  any  plaice  with  those  very 


24        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

unpleasant  red  spots  ! "  The  woman's  answer  was  a  per- 
fect shout.  "  Lord  bless  your  eyes,  Mum !  who  ever  seed 
any  without  'em  ?  " 

A  suppressed  giggle  on  the  stairs  revealed  the  perpe- 
trator of  the  joke,  and  my  father  rushed  off  in  a  perfect 
ccstacy  of  laughter,  leaving  my  poor  discomfited  mother 
to  appease  the  angry  sea-nymph  as  she  could.  This  was 
a  standing  joke  for  many  years,  in  common  with  the 
story  of  the  pudding,  which  will  appear  hereafter. 

My  father's  attachment  to  the  sea,  as  I  remarked  be- 
fore, was  very  great,  and  he  seized  every  opportunity  of 


getting  within  reach  of  it.*  lie  was  much  amused  when 
one  of  his  contemporaries,  in  a  little  sketch  of  his  life, 
gravely  asserted  that  he  was  destined  for  the  sea,  but 
would  not  carry  out  the  intention,  owing  to  Iiis  dislike  of 
the  great  ocean.  Tlie  only  ground  he  could  imagine 
there  was  for  this  assertion  was,  that  in  one  of  the  Com- 

*  This  cut  was  one  of  pcvcriil  sketches  drawTi  by  my  fatlier  to  teach 
his  wife  the  names,  &c.,  of  the  ilillcrcnt  craft  ut  Hastings.  —  T.  H. 


JIEMORIALS   OF   THOSIAS  HOOD.  25 

ics  he  wrote  a  sort  of  burlesque  account  of  first  going  to 
sea,  with  all  its  attendant  horrors  to  a  landsman  of  storm 
and  sickness.  But  this  I  need  hardly  say  was  under  a 
fictitious  character,  and  quite  the  reverse  of  his  own 
opinions.  Although  his  life  had. twice  been  in  danger 
owing  to  it,  yet  his  love  and  relish  for  the  sea  and  all 
belonging  to  it  partook  almost  of  yearning  affection, 
which  he  has  so  beautifully  expressed  in  a  sonnet  pub- 
lished in  the  last  collection  of  poems,  commencing  — 

"  Shall  I  rebuke  thee.  Ocean,  my  old  love  ?  " 

The  allusion  here  is  to  the  fearful  storm  he  encoun- 
tered in  after  years,  when  crossing  to  Rotterdam.  But 
bis  first  peril  was  of  a  different  kind,  as  I  remember 
hearing  the  story  from  his  own  lips.  It  occurred  before 
his  marriage,  but  in  what  year  I  cannot  ascertain.  He 
was  in  the  habit  of  going  frequently  to  Hastings,  and 
there  he  enjoyed  boating  to  his  heart's  content,  accompa- 
nied by  his  favourite  old  boatman  Tom  Woodgate,  whom 
he  commemorated  in  a  sea-side  sketch.  At  this  particu- 
lar time  my  father  had  just  recovered  from  a  severe 
illness,  and  after  a  few  days'  stay  at  Hastings,  he  fancied 
a  bathe  in  the  open  sea  would  do  him  good.  He  had 
often  bathed  so  before;  and  being  a  good  swimmer  he 
used  to  go  out  in  the  boat  some  way  from  shore,  and  then 
undress  and  plunge  in.  This  he  accordingly  did,  being 
still  weak,  and  when  he  came  up  from  his  first  plunge  he 
found  himself  under  the  boat.  Knowing  the  full  extent 
of  his  danger,  he  exerted  all  his  remaining  strength  and 
dived  again,  when  he  succeeded  in  coming  up  at  sonic 
distance  from  the  boat.     He  said  lie  should  never  forget 

VOL.   I.  2 


26  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

his  sensations  -vvhen  he  saw  the  green  water,  "like  a 
bubble  "  getting  lighter  above  him  ;  he  could  only  com- 
pare it  to  the  often  described  feelings  of  persons  rescued 
from  drowning,  when  the  events  of  all  their  past  life 
seem  to  flash  before  them  in  a  moment.  He  was  so 
utterly  exhausted  when  he  came  up  that  he  could 
scarcely  support  himself  till  the  boat  reached  him.  The 
boatman  told  him  afterwards  he  was  dreadfully  fright- 
ened, for  although  the  whole  occurrence  took  place  in 
perhaps  less  time  than  it  takes  to  describe  it,  the  interval 
was  quite  long  enough  for  his  experience  to  tell  him  that 
something  was  wrong.  Great  was  his  relief  to  see  my 
father  come  up  at  a  little  distance,  and  lustily  did  he  pull 
to  his  luilp.  He  owned  that  he  was  speculating  how  he 
was  ever  to  go  back  to  Hastings  with  the  clothes  and 
watch,  as  few  would  have  believed  his  story.  Fortu- 
nately this  tragical  end  was  averted,  but  it  was  a  warn- 
ing to  my  father  ever  after.  He  perfectly  understood  the 
management  of  a  boat,  and  would  often  take  the  helm, 
but  he  never  attempted  bathing  in  the  open  sea  again. 

During  one  of  his  visits  to  Brighton  my  father  made 
acquaintance  with  an  old  lieutenant  in  the  Coast  Guard, 
a  great  oddity,  who  used  to  drop  in  of  an  evening  for  a 
quiet  rubber.  From  him  ray  father  learned  his  solitary 
song ;  the  only  one  he  was  ever  known  to  sing ;  and 
quaint  and  characteristic  enough  it  was.  It  ran  somehow 
in  this  fashion  — 

"  Up  jumped  the  mackerel, 
With  liis  striped  back,  — 
Says  he,  '  Reef  in  the  uiaiiis'l,  and  haul  on  the  tack. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  27 

For  it 's  windy  weather, 

It 's  stormy  weather, 
And  when  the  wind  blows  pipe  all  hands  together  — 
For,  upon  my  word,  it  is  windy  weather ! ' " 

This  is  the  only  verse  that  rerriains  as  a  family  tradi- 
tion of  the  song,  but,  if  I  remember  rightly,  it  brought 
in  the  suggestions  of  the  various  fishes  for  sailing  the 
vessel.  Now  my  father,  curiously  enough,  with  the  most 
delicate  perception  of  the  rhythm  and  melody  of  versify- 
ing, and  the  most  acute  instinct  for  any  jarring  syllable 
or  word,  and  peculiarly  happy  in  the  musical  cadence  of 
his  own  poetry,  had  yet  not  the  slightest  ear  for  music. 
He  could  not  sing  a  tune  through  correctly,  and  was 
rather  amused  by  the  defect  than  otherwise,  especially 
when  a  phrenologist  once  told  him  his  organs  of  time 
and  tune  were  very  deficient.*  My  father  used  to  say 
on  the  very  rare  occasions  on  which  he  was  ever  known 
to  sing,  that  he  chose  this  particular  song  because  if  he 
ivas  out  of  tune  no  one  could  detect  him,  especially  as  he 
made  a  point  of  refusing  all  encores. 

At  Winchmore    Hill   my  father   must   have   resided 

*  Several  people  observed  this  in  liim,  and  one,  who  was  just  safe- 
landed  from  a  rliapsody  on  music,  in  which  he  hail  indulged  before 
my  father,  who  did  n't  sympathise,  said  — "  Ah,  you  know,  you  've  no 
musical  enthusiasm  —  ymi  don't  know  what  it  is !  "  It  was  a  danger- 
ous thing  to  "  snub  "  my  father,  for  he  generally  gave  as  good  as  ho 
took.  In  this  instance  he  said  —  "Oh  yes,  I  do  know  it — it's  like 
turtle  soup  —  for  every  pint  of  real,  you  meet  with  gallons  of  mock, 
with  calves'  heads  in  proportion." 

One  discovery  he  did  make  in  music,  which  was  that  you  cannot 
play  on  the  black  keys  of  a  piano  without  producing  a  Scotch  tune,  or 
what  will  very  well  pass  for  one.  —  T.  H. 


28  MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

about  tliree  years  ;  and  here,  in  1830,  I  was  born.  In 
the  Christmas  of  the  same  year  the  first  "  Comic  An- 
nual"  appeared.  To  Sir  Francis  Frceling,  his  friend 
and  my  godfather,  was  this  volume  dedicated  by  my 
father  in  the  following  words,  —  Sir  Francis  being  at 
that  time  Secretary  to  the  Postmaster-General :  — 

TO    SIR  FRANCIS  FEEELIXG,  BART., 

The  Great  Patron  of  Letters,  Foreign,  General,  and  Twopepny ;  dis- 
tinguished alike  for  his  fostering  care  of  the 

Bell  Letters; 
And  his  antiquarian  regard  for  the 

Dead  Letters; 

Whose  increasing  efforts  to  forward  the  spread  of  intelligence,  as 
Corresponding  Member  of  All  Societies  (and  no  man  fills  his  Post  bet- 
ter), have 

Singly,  Doubly,  and  Trebly 

Endeared  him  to  every  class ;  this  first  volume  of  "  The  Comic  An- 
nual," is  with  Frank  permission,  gratefully  inscribed  by 

Thomas  Hood. 

A  copy  of  this  first  volume  was,  I  believe,  sent  to  the 
late  Duke  of  Devonshire,  and  this  I  imagine  was  my 
father's  first  introduction  to  him,  as  I  find  his  Grace's 
letter  of  thanks  for  it,  dated  February  8th,  1831. 

London. 
Sir, 

Accept  my  best  thanks  for  the  beautiful  copies  of  the 
"  Comic  Annual,"  which  I  have  had  the  pleasure  of  re- 
ceiving from  you  ;  you  could  not  have  selected  a  person 
who  has  enjoyed  more  the  perusal  of  your  works. 

I  am  almost  afraid  of  making  the  following  request, 
but  perhaps  it  may  be  as  amusing  as  it  viiist  be  easy  to 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  29 

you  to  comply  with  it,  in  which  case  alone  I  beg  you  to 
do  it. 

It  is  necessary  to  construct  a  door  of  sham  books,  for 
the  entrance  of  a  library  at  Chatsworth  :  your  assistance 
in  giving  me  inscriptions  for  these  unreal  folios,  quartos, 
and  12mos,  is  what  I  now  ask. 

One  is  tired  of  the  "Plain  Dealings,"  "Essays  on 
"Wood,"  and  "Perpetual  Motion"  on  such  doors,  —  on 
one  I  have  seen  the  names  of  "  Don  Quixote's  Library," 
and  on  others  impossibilities,  such  as  "  Virgilii  Odaria," 
—  "  Herodoti  Poemata  "  —  "  Byron's  Sermons  "  —  &c., 
&c. ;  but  from  you  I  venture  to  hope  for  more  attractive 
titles  —  at  your  perfect  leisure  and  convenience.  I  have 
the  honour  to  be,  Sir,  with  many  excuses. 

Your  sincere  humble  servant, 

Devonshire. 

In  accordance  with  this  request  my  father,  in  April, 
sent  the  following  letter  to  the  Duke : 

WiKciiMORE  Hill. 
Mt  Lord  Duke, 
On  learning  that  Your  Grace  is  at  Chatsworth,  I  send 
off  as  many  titles  as  have  occurred  to  me ;  promising 
myself  the  honour  and  pleasure  of  waiting  upon  Your 
Grace  with  some  others  on  the  14th,  and  am, 
My  Lord  Duke, 
Your  Grace's  most  obliged  and  obedient  servant, 

Tuos.  Hood. 

The  list  of  titles  follows  this.     Some  of  them  have  lost 


30  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

the  point  which  the  topics  of  the  day  gave  to  them,  while 
others  appear  to  be  such  hond  fide  works,  that  one  does 
not  always  catch  the  hidden  meaning.  As  an  instance  of 
this  I  will  mention  "  The  Life  of  Zimmermann  (the  au- 
thor of  '  Solitude').     By  himself. ^^ 

TITLES   FOR   THE   LIBRARY   DOOR,   CHATSWORTIL 

On  the  Lung  Amo  in  Consumption.    By  D.  Cline. 
Dante's  Infenio;  or  Description  of  Van  Demon's  Land. 
Tiie  Racing  Calendar,  witli  the  Eclipses  for  1831. 
Ye  Devill  on  Two  Styx  (Black  letter).     2  Vols. 
On  cutting  off  Heirs  with  a  Shilling.    By  Barber  Beaumont. 
Percy  Vcre.     In  40  volumes. 

G.alcrie  des  Grands  Tableaux  par  les  Petits  Maitrcs. 
On  the  Affinity  of  the  Death  Watch  and  Sheep  Ticli. 
Lamb's  Recollections  of  Suett. 
Lamb  on  the  Death  of  Wolfe. 
The  nopiici&n.    By  Lord  Farnham. 
Tadpoles;  or  Talcs  out  of  my  own  Head. 
On  the  Connection  of  the  River  Oder  and  the  River  Wezel. 
Malthus'  Attack  of  Infantry. 
McAdam's  Views  in  Rhodes. 
Spenser,  with  Chaucer's  Tales. 

Autographia;  or  JIan's  Nature,  known  by  his  Sig-nature. 
Manfredi.     Translated  by  Defoe. 
Earl  Grey  on  Early  Rising. 

Plurality  of  Livings,  with  regard  to  the  Common  Cat. 
The  Life  of  Zimmermann.    By  Himself. 

On  the  Quadrature  of  the  Circle;  or  Squaring  in  the  Ring.     By 
J.  Meiidoza. 

Gall's  Sculler's  Fares. 

Bish's  Retreat  of  the  Ten  Thousand. 

Dibdin's  Cream  of  Tar — . 

Cornaro  on  Longevity  and  the  Construction  of  74's 

Pomjicii;  or  Memoirs  of  a  Black  Footman.     By  Sir  W.  Gell. 

Pygmalion.     \\y  Lord  Bacon. 

Macintosh,  MaccuUoch,  and  Macaulay  on  Almack-s. 

On  Trial  by  Jury,  with  remarkable  Packing  Cases. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  31 

On  the  Distinction  between  Lawgivers  and  Law-sellers.    By  Lord 
Erongham. 
Mcmoii-s  of  Mrs.  Mountain.     By  Ben  Lomond. 
Feu  mon  pere  —  feu  ma  mire.     Par  Swing. 

On  Dec.  the  22nd,  1832,  my  father  sent  His  Grace 
the  following  further  instalment  of  titles,  with  the  letter 
which  is  printed  after  them. 

Boyle  on  Steam. 

Rules  for  Punctuation.    By  a  thorough-bred  Pointer. 

Blaine  on  Equestrian  Burglary;  or  the  Breaking-in  of  Worses. 

Chronological  Account  of  the  Date  Tree. 

Hughes  Ball  on  Duelling. 

Book-keeping  by  Single  Entry 

John  Knox  on  "  Death's  Door." 

Designs  for  Friezes.     By  Captain  Parry. 

Remarks  on  the  Ten-a  Cotta  or  Mud  Cottages  of  Ireland. 

Considerations  sur  le  Vrai  Guy,  et  Le  Faux. 

Kosciusko  on  the  Right  of  the  Poles  to  stick  up  for  themselves. 

Prize  poems,  in  Blank  verse. 

On  the  Site  of  Tully's  Offices. 

The  Rape  of  the  Lock,  with  Bramali's  Notes. 

Haughty-cultural  Remarks  on  London  Pride. 

Annual  Parliaments ;  a  Plea  for  Short  Commons. 

Michau  on  Ball-Practice. 

On  Sore  Throat  and  the  ]\Iigration  of  the  Swallow.  By  T.  Aber- 
nethy. 

Scott  and  Lot    By  the  Author  of  "  Waverley." 

Debrett  on  Chain  Piers. 

Voltaire,  Volney,  Volta.    3  Vols. 

Peel  on  Bell's  System.  " 

Grose's  Slang  Dictionary;  or  Vocabulary  of  Grose  Language. 

Freeling  on  Enclosing  Waste  Lands. 

Elegy  on  a  Black-Cock,  shot  amongst  the  Moors.  By  W.  Wilber- 
force. 

.lolinson's  Contradictionary. 

Sir  T.  Lawrence  on  the  Complexion  of  Fairies  and  Brownies. 

Life  of  Jack  Ketch,  with  Cuts  of  his  own  Execution. 

Barrow  on  the  Common  Weal. 


32        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

Hoyle's  Quadnipedia;  or  Rules  of  All-Fours. 

Campaigns  of  the  British  Arm:  By  one  of  the  German  Leg. 

Cursory  Remarks  on  Swearing. 

On  the  Collar  of  the  Garter.    By  Miss  Bailey  of  Halifax. 

Shelley's  Conchologist. 

Recollections  of  Bannister.     By  Lord  Stair. 

The  Hole  Duty  of  Man.     By  L  P.  Brunei. 

Ude's  Tables  of  Interest. 

Chantrey  on  the  Sculpture  of  the  Chipaway  Indians. 

The  Scottish  Boccaccio.     By  D.  Cameron. 

Cook's  Specimens  of  the  Sandwich  Tongue. 

In-i-go  on  Secret  Entrances. 

Hoyle  on  the  Game  Laws. 

M^moires  de  La-porte. 

Lake  House,  Dec.  22, 1832. 
Mt  Lord  Duke, 

I  am  extremely  obliged  to  Your  Grace  for  the  kind 
and  early  answer  to  my  request  concerning  Lady  Gran- 
ville. With  my  best  thanks  I  have  the  honour  of  pre- 
senting a  copy  of  my  "  Annual,"  and  sincerely  hope  to 
have  the  same  pleasure  for  many  years  to  come. 

The  enclosed  titles  were  for  a  long  time  "  titles  extinct," 
—  being  lost  with  other  papers  in  my  removal  hither :  or, 
as  Otlicllo  says,  thro'  "  moving  accidents  by  flood  and 
field."  Some  memoranda  subsequently  turned  up,  but  I 
feared  too  late  for  use  ;  and  besides  I  could  not  disentan- 
gle the  new  from  the  old. 

This  has  been  matter  of  regret  to  me,  but  I  have  made 
up  my  mind  to  send  them  to  Your  Grace  on  the  chance 
of  their  becoming  of  use,  and  that  some  secret  door  may 
yet  open  to  them,  like  those  in  the  old  romances. 
I  have  the  honour  to  be, 

My  Lord  Duke, 
Your  Grace's  obliged  servant, 

Tuos.  Hood. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  33 

His  Grace  acknowledged  the  receipt  of  the  titles  in 
the  following  letter : 

Chatswokth. 
Sir, 
I  am  more  obliged  to  you  than  I  can  say  for  my  titles. 
They  are  exactly  what  I  wanted,  and  invented  in  that 
remarkable  vein  of  humour,  which  has  in  your  works 
caused  me  and  many  of  my  friends  so  much  amusement 
and  satisfaction. 

I  shall  anxiously  await  the  promised  additions  —  but  I 
hope  that  on  my  return  to  London  you  will  allow  me  an 
opportunity  of  thanking  you  in  person.  There  is  hardly 
any  day  on  which  you  would  not  find  me  at  home  at 
twelve  o'clock,  and  after  the  13th  of  this  month  I  shall 
be  settled  in  London. 

I  have  the  honour  to  be.  Sir, 

Most  truly  and  sincerely  yours, 

Devoxsiiike. 


This  letter,  it  will  be  remarked,  was  in  acknowledg- 
ment of  the  first  set  of  titles.  After  this  many  commu- 
nications passed  between  His  Grace  and  my  father.  Until 
the  time  of  my  father's  death  (I  might  add  even  after 
that  time,  when  I  think  of  his  generous  subscription  to 
the  Monumental  Fund)  the  Duke's  acts  of  considerate 
kindness  never  varied  or  failed.  Among  other  little 
muior  courtesies  I  find,  among  my  father's  papers,  ad- 
missions to  Chatsworth,  and  to  the  Private  Apartments 
at  Windsor.  The  "  Comic  Annual  of  1831  was  dedicated 
to  His  Grace,  and  that  of  1832  to  Lady  Granxnlle,  by  a 
permission  hinted  at  in  the  letter  of  Dec.  22nd.  But 
2*  o 


34        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

His  Grace's  kindnesses  were  not  always  minor  ones.  As- 
sistance of  great  service  was  rendered  bj  him  to  my 
father  iu  the  shape  of  a  vohmteered  friendly  loan,  the 
benefit  of  wliich  will  be  seen  in  the  ensuing  letter : 

LaivE  House,  August,  1833 

My  Lord  Duke, 

It  will  doubtless  appear  to  Your  Grace  that  one  re- 
quest brings  on  a  second,  as  certainly  as  one  Scotchman  is 
said  to  introduce  another,  when  I  entreat  for  my  new 
novel  of  "  Tylney  Hall "  the  same  honour  that  was  for- 
merly conferred  on  the  "  Comic  Annual." 

If  a  reason  be  sought  why  I  desire  to  address  a  second 
dedication  to  the  same  personage,  I  can  only  refer  to  the 
"  on  revient  tovjours "  principle  of  the  French  song ; 
and  no  one  could  have  better  cause  so  to  try  back  than 
myself. 

I  hesitate  to  intrude  with  details,  but  I  know  the  good- 
ness which  originated  one  obligation  will  be  gratified  to 
learn  that  the  assistance  referred  to  has  been,  and  is,  of 
the  greatest  service  in  a  temporary  struggle  —  though 
arduous  enough  to  one  of  a  profession  never  overbur- 
thened  with  wealth,  from  Homer  downwards.  Indeed 
the  Nino  Muses  seem  all  to  have  lived  in  one  house  for 
cheapness.  I  await,  hopefully  anxious,  Your  Grace's 
pleasure  as  to  the  new  honour  I  solicit,  fully  prepared,  in 
case  of  acquiescence,  to  exclaim  with  the  Tinker  to  the 
"  Good  Duke"  of  Burgundy,  in  the  old  ballad, 

•'  Well,  I  tliaiik  your  good  Grace, 
And  your  love  T  embrace, 
I  was  never  before  in  so  happj'  a  case ! " 


MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  3,5 

With  mj  humble  but  fervent  wishes  for  the  health  and 
happiness  of  Your  Grace,  and  one  not  so  favourable  to 
tlie  long  life  of  the  grouse,  I  have  the  honour  to  be, 
My  Lord  Duke, 
Your  Grace's  most  obliged  and  devoted  servant, 

Thos.  Hood. 

Between  1831  -2  my  father  had  some  connection  with 
the  stage  in  the  form  of  dramatic  composition.  It  was 
probably  at  this  time  he  made  the  acquaintance  of  T.  P. 
Cooke,  and,  I  think,  Dibdin. 

He  wrote  the  libretto  for  a  little  English  Opera,  that 
was  brought  out,  I  believe,  at  the  Surrey,  Its  name  is 
lost  now,  although  it  had  a  good  run  at  the  time.  Per- 
haps it  may  be  recognised  by  some  old  play-goer  by  the 
fact  that  its  dramatis  personce  were  all  hees.  My  father 
also  assisted  my  uncle  Reynolds  in  the  dramatising  of 
Gil  Bias,  which,  if  my  impression  be  right,  was  produced 
at  Drury  Lane.  One  scene  was  very  cleverly  managed, 
considering  that  stage  machinery  (which  now-a-days  is 
almost  engineering)  was  then  in  its  infancy.  It  was  a 
scene  divided  into  two,  horizontally,  displaying  at  once 
the  robber's  cave,  and  the  country  beneath  which  it  was 
excavated. 

It  is  much  to  be  regretted  that  we  have  been  unable 
to  discover  any  traces  of  an  entertainment  which  was 
written,  somewhere  about  this  time,  by  my  father  for  the 
well-known  inimitable  Charles  Matthews  the  Elder,  who 
was  heard  by  a  friend  most  characteristically  to  remark, 
that  he  liked  the  entertainment  very  much,  and  IVfr. 
Hood  too,  —  but  that  all  the  time  he  was  reading  it,  Mrs. 


36  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

Hood  would  keep  snuffing  the  candles.  This  little  fidg- 
etty  observation  very  much  shocked  my  mother,  and  of 
course  delighted  my  father. 

He  also  wi'ote  a  pantomime  for  Mr.  Frederick  Yates, 
of  the  old  Adelphi  Theatre,  and  on  that  occasion  received 
the  following  quaint  epistle,  the  w^riter  being  Mr.  Yates's 
factotum,  and  moreover  machinist  of  all  those  wonderful 
Adelphi  pieces  that  made  that  tiny  theatre  famous,  and 
delighted  the  play-going  public  of  those  days.  Mr.  Wil- 
liam Godbee  was  also,  I  think,  the  contriver  and  invent- 
or of  Mattliews'  transformation  dresses,  for  his  entertain- 
ments, and  especially  famous  for  manufacturing  queer 
wigs  and  head-dresses  for  him.  He  was  a  clever  man, 
but  a  great  oddity,  as  the  following  letter  will  show. 

Theatre  Royal,  Adelphi,  July  24,  1832. 

]\Ir.  Godbee's  Respectfull  Compliments  to  Mr.  Hood, 
and  he  begs  leave  to  state  that  he  have  Received  a  Let- 
ter this  morning  from  Mr.  Yates,  who  is  in  Glasgow,  and 
he  begs  of  him  to  go  Immediately  to  Mr.  Reynolds  of 
Golden  Square,  to  beg  of  him  to  Intreat  of  Mr.  Hood  to 
Favour  him  with  a  Coppy  of  his  Pantomime  of  Harle- 
quin and  Mr.  Jenkins,  for  Mr.  Yates  by  some  unfortunate 
circumstance  have  lost  it,  and  the  Dresses  and  Scenery 
are  of  no  use  to  him  unless  he  had  the  M.S.  of  The  Pan- 
tomime. Therefore  if  Mr.  Hood  have  it  by  him,  and 
would  Send  it  Enclosed  in  a  Parcel  to  the  Stage  Door  of 
the  Adelphi  Theatre,  he  would  be  conferring  an  Ever- 
lasting Favour  on  him.  Honored  Sir,  if  you  sliould  not 
be  so  fortunate  as  to  have  it  by  you,  Proi/  Ohiiihjc  me 
with  an  answer  by  Post,  as  I  dare  not  Send  his  Scenery 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        37 

and  Dresses  without  the  M.S.  to  GlasgoAv.  I  trust  your 
Goodness  of  hert  will  Pardon  me  in  thus  troubling  you. 
Permit  me  to  Remain 

Your  Humble  Servant, 

William  Godbee. 

P.  S.  Dear  Sir,  I  shal  wait  with  all  anxiety  as  I  can't 
write  nor  send  to  Mr.  Yates  until  I  hear  from  you. 

"Whether  poor  Mr.  Godbee's  anxiety  was  set  at  re?:t, 
and  the  Pantomime  found,  is  not  now  to  be  ascerttuned, 
but  it  is  to  be  hoped  it  was. 

Of  all  my  father's  attempts  at  dramatic  writing  I  can 
find  no  trace,  save  one  little  song  intended  for  a  musical 
piece,  which  was  written  to  the  air  "  My  mother  bids 
me  bind  my  hair  "  : 


My  motlior  bids  me  spend  my  sniilea 
On  all  who  come  and  call  me  fair, 

As  crumbs  are  thrown  upon  the  tiles, 
To  all  the  sparrows  of  the  air. 

But  I  've  a  darling  of  my  own, 

For  whom  I  hoard  my  little  stock  — 

What  if  I  chirp  him  all  alone, 
And  leave  mamma  to  feed  the  flock ! 

The  "Comic  Annual"  of  1832  was  dedicated  by  per- 
mission to  King  William  the  Fourth,  who  received  the 
dedication  and  a  copy  of  the  work  very  graciously,  and 
eventually  expressed    a   desire  to  see  my  father,     lie 


38  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

accordingly  called  upon  His  Majesty  by  appointment  at 
Brighton.  My  father  was  much  taken  with  His  Majes- 
ty's cordial  and  hearty  manner,  and  I  believe  he  was 
very  well  received.  One  thing  I  remember  is  the  fact, 
that,  on  backing  out  of  the  royal  presence,  my  father 
forgot  the  way  he  had  entered,  and  retrograded  to  the 
wrong  entry.  The  king  good-humouredly  laughed,  and 
himself  showed  him  the  right  direction,  going  with  him 
to  the  door. 

In  1832  *  he  left  Winchmore  Hill,  owing  to  some  dis- 
agreement with  his  landlord,  who  declined  to  make  some 
necessary  alterations ;  it  was  much  to  be  regretted,  and 
he  always  spoke  of  it  afterwards  in  that  light.  Pie  was 
induced  to  take  a  house  in  Essex,t  —  Lake  House,  Wan- 
stead.  He  was  overpersuaded  to  do  so  by  some  not  very 
judicious  friends,  and  he  ever  afterwards  repented  it.  It 
was,  however,  a  beautiful  old  place,  although  exceedingly 
inconvenient,  for  there  was  not  a  good  bed-room  in  it. 
The  fact  was,  it  had  formerly  been  a  sort  of  banqueting- 
hall  to  Wanstead  Park,  and  the  rest  of  the  house  was 
sacrificed  to  the  one  great  room,  which  extended  all 
along  the  back.  It  had  a  beautiful  chimney-piece  carved 
in  fruit  and  flowers  by  Gibbons,  and  the  ceiling  bore 
traces  of  painting.     Several  quaint  AYattcau-like  pictures 

*  It  will  be  seen  by  reference  to  the  letters  to  tlie  Duke  of  Devon- 
shire, that  this  removal  took  place  toward  the  end  of  the  year — prob- 
ably in  October.  —  T.  H. 

t  The  house  was  the  banqueting  hall  of  the  sjjlendid  mansion  that 
used  to  stand  in  Wanstead  Park.  Between  them  spread  a  large  lake, 
60  that  the  festive  parties  came  by  water.  This  has  now  dwindled  to 
a  couple  of  ponds,  connected  by  a  ditch,  but  it  was  doubtless  froin  it 
that  the  house  took  its  name.  —  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  39 

of  the  Seasons  were  panelled  in  the  walls,  but  it  was  all 
in  a  shocking  state  of  repair,  and  in  the  twilight  the  rats 
used  to  come  and  peep  out  of  the  holes  in  the  wainscot. 
There  were  two  or  three  windows  on  each  side,  while  a 
door  in  the  middle  opened  on  a  flight  of  steps  leading 
into  a  pleasant  wilderness  of  a  garden,  infested  by  hun- 
dreds of  rabbits  from  the  warren  close  hj.  From  the 
windows  you  could  catch  lovely  glimpses  of  forest 
scenery,  especially  one  little  aspen  avenue.  In  the  midst 
of  the  garden  lay  the  little  lake  from  which  the  house 
took  its  name,  surrounded  by  huge  masses  of  rhododen- 
drons. 

In  the  early  part  of  his  residence  at  Wanstead,  my 
father's  boyish  spirit  of  fun  broke  out  as  usual.  On  one 
occasion  some  boys  were  caught  by  him  in  the  act  of 
robbing  an  orchard  ;  with  the  assistance  of  the  gardener, 
they  were  dragged  trembling  into  the  house.  My  moth- 
er's father  happened  to  be  staying  there,  an  imposing- 
looking  old  gentleman,  who  had  not  forgotten  his  scholas- 
tic dignity  when  looking  on  anything  in  the  shape  of  a 
boy.  A  hint  to  him  sufficed,  and  he  assumed  an  arm- 
chair and  the  character  of  a  J.  P.  for  the  county.  The 
frightened  offenders  were  drawn  up  before  him,  and  for- 
mally charged  by  my  father  with  the  theft,  which  was 
further  proved  by  the  contents  of  their  pockets.  The 
judge,  assuming  a  severe  air,  immediately  sentenced 
them  to  instant  execution  by  hanging  on  the  cherry  tree. 
I  can  recollect  being  prompted  by  my  fatiier  to  kneel 
down  and  intei'cede  for  the  culprits,  and  my  frightened 
crying  and  the  solemn  farce  of  the  whole  scene  had  its 
due  effect  on  the  offenders.     Down  on  their  knees  they 


40  MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

dropped  in  a  row,  sobbing  and  whining  most  piteously, 
and  vowing  never  "  to  do  so  no  more."  My  father, 
thinking  them  sufficiently  punished,  gave  the  hint,  and 
they  were  as  solemnly  pardoned,  my  father  and  grand- 
father laughing  heartily  to  see  the  celerity  with  which 
they  made  off. 

On  another  occasion  two  or  three  friends  came  down 
for  a  day's  shooting,  and,  as  they  often  did,  in  the  even- 
ing they  rowed  out  into  the  middle  of  the  little  lake  in 
an  old  punt.  They  were  full  of  spirits,  and  had  played 
off  one  or  two  practical  jokes  on  their  host,  till  on  getting 
out  of  the  boat,  leaving  him  last,  one  of  them  gave  it  a 
push,  and  out  went  my  father  into  the  water.  Fortu- 
nately it  was  the  landing-place,  and  the  water  was  not 
deep,  but  he  was  wet  through.  It  was  playing  with 
edged  tools  to  venture  on  such  tricks  with  him,  and  he 
quietly  determined  to  turn  the  tables.  Accordingly  he 
presently  began  to  complain  of  cramps  and  stitches,  and 
at  last  went  in-doors.  His  friends  getting  rather  ashamed 
of  their  rough  fun,  persuaded  him  to  go  to  bed,  which  he 
immediately  did.  His  groans  and  complaints  increased 
so  alarmingly,  that  they  were  almost  at  their  wits'  ends 
what  to  do.  My  mother  had  received  a  quiet  hint,  and 
was  therefore  not  alarmed,  though  much  amused  at  the 
terrified  efforts  and  prescriptions  of  the  repentant  jokers. 
There  was  no  doctor  to  be  had  for  miles,  and  all  sorts  of 
queer  remedies  were  suggested  and  administered,  my 
father  shaking  with  laughing,  while  they  supjjosed  he 
had  got  ague  or  fever.  One  rushed  up  with  a  tea-kettle 
of  boiling  water  hanging  on  his  arm,  another  tottered 
under  a  tin  bath,  and  a  tliii'd  brought  the  mustard.     My 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  41 

father  at  length,  as  well  as  he  could  speak,  gave  out  in  a 
sepulchral  voice  that  he  was  sure  he  was  dying,  and  de- 
tailed some  most  absurd  directions  for  his  will,  which 
they  were  all  too  frightened  to  see  the  fun  of.  At  last 
he  could  stand  it  no  longer,  and  after  hearing  the  peni- 
tent offenders  beg  him  to  forgive  them  for  their  unfortu- 
Date  joke,  and  beseech  him  to  believe  in  their  remorse, 
he  burst  into  a  perfect  shout  of  laughing,  which  they 
thought  at  first  was  delirious  frenzy,  but  which  ultimately 
betrayed  the  joke. 

Nor  was  I,*  though  a  mere  child,  more  exempt  than 
my  mother  from  a  few  innocent  pranks.  I  had  a  favour- 
ite but  very  ugly  wooden  doll,  combining  all  the  usual 
features  of  the  race,  a  triangular  nose,  button  mouth,  and 
inverted  eyes.  This  lovely  creature  I  left  by  some 
chance  in  the  dangerous  precincts  of  my  father's  study. 
What  was  my  hoiTor  and  amazement  next  morning  to 
find  her  comely  visage  thickly  studded  with  bright  pink 
spots  !  For  some  hours  I  dared  not  go  near  her,  as  she 
lay  extended  on  the  table,  being  firmly  persuaded  she 
had  the  measles,  then  very  prevalent  in  the  neiglibour- 
hood.  My  father  was,  of  course,  the  author  of  the  mis- 
chief, and  perceived  the  success  of  his  plan  with  infinite 
amusement.  My  fears,  however,  were  not  allayed  till 
poor  dolly  underwent  a  thorough  ablution,  under  which 

*  5Iy  sister  was  often  the  subject  of  such  jokes.  I  myself  was  too 
young  for  any  more  advanced  pleasantry  than  a  "  booby-trap  "  of  light 
pamphlets,  carefully  disposed  on  tlie  top  of  the  study  door,  but  I  was 
often  spectator  of  little  plots  laid  for  ray  sister,  such  as  a  pinch  of 
damp  gunpowder  plastered  round  the  wick  of  a  candle,  which  she 
■would  light  in  order  to  fetch  some  book,  or  go  on  some  pretended 
eiTand.  — T.  H. 


42  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD, 

purification   her    few   remaining    charms    vanished   for 
ever. 

Though  living  at  "Wanstead,  my  father  and  mother 
still  visited  the  sea-side  at  intervals  ;  indeed,  my  father 
seemed  always  to  yearn  with  a  vague  longing  for  the 
ocean,  "his  old  love" — just  as  dwellers  in  towns  long 
for  green  fields.  In  1833  he  wrote  the  following  letter 
to  Wright  from  Ramsgate. 

Ramsgate,  May  26,  Wind  E.  N.  E.,  Weather  moder- 
ate. Remain  in  the  harbour  the  Isis,  Snow,  Rose,  Pink, 
Daisy,  cutters ;  Boyle,  steamer ;  John  Ketch,  powerful 
lug";er. 

In  the  Roads,  the  Mc  Adam,  with  Purbeck  stone. 
The  Jane  (Mrs.  Hood)  on  putting  out  to  sea,  was  quite 
upset,  and  obliged  to  discharge. 

My  dear  Wright, 

It  was  like  your  lubberly  taste  to  prefer  the  Epsom 
Salts  to  the  Ocean  Brine,  but  I  am  glad  to  hear  you  do 
mean  after  all  to  trust  your  precious  body,  as  you  have 
sometimes  committed  your  voice,  to  the  "  deep,  deep  sea." 
Should  its  power  overwhelm  you,  it  will  only  be  a  new 
illustration  of  the  sayuig  that  "  might  overcomes  (W) 
riglit." 

(Jack  enters  to  say  the  wind  and  tide  serve,  so  am 
after  a  sail,  wliidi  I  hope,  with  respect  to  myself,  will 
])rove  a  "  sail  of  effects.") 

(3  p .  M.  Ivc-entcr  tiie  Ann  (a  young  lady  friend  of 
Hood's)  with  T.  II.,  his  face  well  washed,  his  coat  drip- 
ping, collar  like  two  wet  dog's  ears,  and  his  old  hut  as 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  43 

glossy  as  a  new  "'un."  He  eats  a  biscuit  as  soft  as 
sopped  granite,  a  dram  of  whiskey,  and  then  resumes  the 
pen.) 

'^<^^^  ail  .^^t>^^  ^  ^^^2  ^^'^Pt--^  *>" 

'^^s  are  "^^  ^''^^r  little  ?^^ 


Although  they  are  prose,  I  defy  a  poet  to  write  better 
descriptive  lines  of  the  sea  than  the  four  last. 

The  Derby  seems  to  have  been  highly  creditable  to 
Glaucus  and  the  rest  of  the  favourites.  Outsiders  (and 
sea-siders)  for  ever ! 

There  come  over  here  boats  from  France  laden  with 
boxes  of  white  things,  of  an  oval  shape,  the  size  of  eggs ; 
I  rather  think  they  are  eggs,  and  I  was  much  amused 
with  an  energetic  question  which  one  of  our  local  marines 
put  to  one  of  the  French  ones,  —  "  Where  do  you  get 
all  your  eggs  ? "  as  if  they  had  some  way  of  making 
them  by  macliinery.  For  certain  the  quantity  is  great, 
and  the  French  hens  must  lay  longer  odds  than  mine. 
Please  to  copy  the  following  verbatim,  and  send  it  to 
Dilke  per  post :  — 

Pencilled  annotation  on  Prince  Puckler  Muskau,  from 
Sackctt's  Lil)rary,  Ramsgate,  p.  212,  vol.  i. 

"  What  a  lie,  you  frorf-cafiiig  rascal !     What  do  you 
mean  by  telling  such  a  twister?" 

The  weather  is  so  fine,  you  will  be  a  great  Pump  if 
you  do  not  come  here  sooner  than  you  propose. 


44  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

When  you  talk  of  the  middle  of  the  week,  you  may 
as  well  embrace  the  waist  of  the  week,  and  come  down 
here  at  once  by  Tuesday's  Margate  steamer.  Every 
hour  will  do  you  good,  so  don't  stick  Thursday  obstinate- 
ly on  your  back,  like  an  ass  ridden  by  Dcnj.  Seriously, 
I  shall  look  for  you,  and  my  doctor  says  all  disappoint- 
ments will  throw  me  back.  Mind  wliile  you  are  on 
board,  have  a  crust  and  Cheshire  and  bottled  porter  for  a 
lunch.  The  last  is  capital !  No  entire  can  match  that 
which  hath  been  ripened  and  mellowed  by  voyaging. 
Even  Ann  Porter  (the  young  lady  referred  to  before)  is 
improved  by  crossing  the  Channel.  Don't  forget  the 
pig-tail,  —  that  is  the  porter.  And  sit  not  with  your 
back  to  the  bulwark,  on  account  of  the  tremor  of  the 
engine.  The  sound  is  as  of  a  perpetual  gallopade  per- 
formed by  sea  horses.  Just  go  to  the  chimney  and  listen. 
There  was  no  illness  whatever  when  I  came  down, — 
at  least  human  sickness  The  only  symptom  I  saw  was 
the  heaving  of  the  lead. 

*  *  *  ♦ 

I  remain,  dear  Wright,  yours  distantly, 

Thos.  Hood,  R.  N. 

P.  S.  Wind  has  veered  half  a  point.  Forgot  to  say 
we  forgot  my  birthday  on  the  23rd,  so  are  keeping  it  to- 
day ex  post  facto,  but  not  completely  as  usual,  for  I  liad 
no  artillery  to  discharge  at  one  o'clock. 

While  residing  at  Lake  House,  my  father  wrote  his 
only  completed  novel,  "  Tyluey  Hall,"  much  of  tlie 
scenery   and    description    being   taken    from    Wanstead 


MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 


45 


and  its  neighbourhood.  This  was  dedicated  to  the  Duke 
of  Devonshire.  Here  also  was  written  a  little  volume 
containing  a  poem  called  the  "  Epping  Hunt,"  with  illus- 
trations by  Cruikshank.  The  frontispiece  was  an  admira- 
ble likeness  of  an  old  gentleman  who  lived  near  us,  a 
Mr.  Rounding.  He  was  one  of  the  few  surviving  repre- 
sentatives of  the  genuine  old  fox-hunting  squires  of  other 
days,  living  in  hospitable  style  in  a  large  old  house,  and 
keeping  his  pack  of  hounds.  He  was,  I  believe,  the 
manager  of  those  Cockney  Olympian  revels,  the  Epping 
Hunts,  w^hich,  however,  at  that  time  were  many  shades 
better  than  they  are  now. 


46        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


CHAPTER    II. 


1835. 


He  is  involved  in  Difficulties  by  the  Failure  of  a  Firm.  —  Birth  of  only 
Son.  —  lUness  of  Mrs.  Hood.  —  Acquaintance  with  Dr.  Elliot.  —  Goes 
to  Germany.  —  Nearly  lost  in  the  "  Lord  Jlelville."  —  At  Rotterdam. 

—  Letters  to  his  Wife.  —  Joined  by  her  and  the  Children  at  Coblenz. 

—  Letter  from  Jlrs.  Hood  to  Mrs.  Elliot.  —  Acquaintance  with  Lieu- 
tenant De  Franck.  —  Letters  to  ilr.  and  Mrs.  Dilke,  Mr.  Wriglit,  and 
Lieutenant  De  Franck. 

AT  the  end  of  1834,  by  the  failure  of  a  firm  my 
father  suffered,  in  common  with  many  others,  very 
heavy  loss,  and  consequently  became  involved  in  pecuni- 
ary difficulties.  "  For  some  months  he  strove  with  his 
embarrassments,  but  the  first  heavy  sea  being  followed  up 
by  other  adversities,  all  hope  of  righting  the  vessel  was 
abandoned.  In  this  extremity  had  he  listened  to  the 
majority  of  his  advisers,  he  would  at  once  have  absolved 
himself  of  his  obligations  by  one  or  other  of  those  sharp 
but  sure  remedies,  which  the  legislature  has  provided  for 
all  such  evils.  But  a  sense  of  honour  forbade  such  a 
course,  and  emulating  the  illustrious  example  of  Sir 
Walter  Scott,  he  determined  to  try  whether  he  could  not 
score  off  his  di'bt.s  as  effectually  and  more  creditably, 
with  his  pen,  than  with  the  legal  whitewash  or  a  wet 
sponge.     lie  had  aforetime  realised  in  one  year  a  sum 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        47 

equal  to  the  amount  in  arrear,  and  there  was  consequent- 
ly fair  reason  to  expect  that  by  redoubled  dihgence, 
economising,  and  escaping  costs  at  law,  he  would  soon  be 
able  to  retrieve  his  affairs.  "With  these  views,  leaving 
every  shilling  behind  him,  derived  from  the  sale  of  his 
effects,  the  means  he  carried  with  him  being  an  advance 
upon  his  future  labours,  he  voluntarily  expatriated  him- 
self, and  bade  his  native  land  good  night." 

This  is  extracted  from  a  letter  of  his  own  in  which  he 
describes  the  whole  course  of  his  affairs. 

To  put  the  crowning  stroke  on  all  his  sorrows  and 
anxieties,  my  mother  was  taken  most  dangerously  ill 
after  the  birth  of  their  only  son  (Jan.  19,  1835),  and  for 
some  time  her  life  was  despaired  of  Then  was  first  laid 
the  foundation  of  that  friendship  with  Dr.  and  Mi's.  Elliot 
of  Stratford,  which  only  terminated  with  my  father's  life. 
Under  God's  permission,  and  thanks  to  the  skill  and  care 
of  their  kind  friend  and  physician,  my  mother  was  once 
more  restored  to  comparative  health.  INIy  father  only 
waited  to  see  her  partially  recovered,  and  then  pursuing 
his  plan  he  started  for  Rotterdam  in  the  "  Lord  Mel- 
ville," proposing  to  look  out  for  some  pleasant  and  suit- 
able town  on  the  Rhine  where  he  could  settle.  My 
mother  was  to  follow  with  her  children  as  soon  as  she 
was  able  to  bear  the  fatigue  of  travelling.  At  that  time 
such  a  journey  was  no  light  undertaking ;  in  fact,  it  re- 
quired almost  as  much  care  and  forethought  as  people 
think  necessary  in  these  days  to  exert  on  going  to  Egypt. 
My  father's  voyage  was  a  disastrous  one,  for  the  fearful 
and  memorable  storm  of  the  4th  and  5th  of  Marrli,  \S'^■^, 
came  on ;  when  eleven  vessels,  including  a  Dutch  India- 


48  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 


• 


man,  were  lost  off  the  coast  of  Holland.  To  the  mental 
and  bodily  exhaustion  which  attended  this  danger  my 
father  attributed  much  of  his  subsequent  sufferings. 

He  finally  fixed  on  Coblenz  as  the  suitable  place 
for  a  residence,  and  from  thence  he  wrote  the  following 
letter  to  my  mother.  I  have  inserted  it  as  a  proof 
of  his  tender  and  watchful  care  of  her,  and  the  affection 
that  considered  even  trifles  worthy  of  attention  when 
conducing  to  her  comfort. 

Somewhere  about  this  time,  perhaps  a  little  while 
previous  to  his  departure,  the  following  sonnet  was 
written  to  my  mother. 

SONNET. 

Think,  sweetest,  if  my  lids  are  now  not  wet, 
The  tendercst  tears  lie  ready  at  the  brim. 
To  see  thine  own  dear  eyes  —  so  pale  and  dim  — 

Touching  my  soul  with  full  and  fond  regret, 

For  on  thy  ease  my  heart's  whole  care  is  set ; 
Seeing  I  love  thee  in  no  passionate  whim, 
Whose  summer  dates  but  with  the  rose's  trim, 

Which  one  hot  June  can  perish  and  beget,  — 

Ah  no,  I  chose  thee  for  affection's  pet. 

For  unworn  love,  and  constant  cherishing  — 

To  smile  but  to  thy  smile  —  or  else  to  fret 
When  thou  art  fretted  —  rather  than  to  sing 

Elscwlicre,  —  alas  !  I  ought  to  soothe  and  kiss 

Thy  dear  pale  cheek,  while  I  assure  thee  this  ! 

T    IIOOD. 

CouLENZ,  March  13tfi. 
At  last,  my  own  dearest  and  best,  I  sit  down  to  write 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  49 

to   you,  and  I  fear   you   have  been  looking   anxiously 
for  news  from  me. 

In  truth,  I  wrote  a  long  letter  at  Nimeguen  which 
I  suppressed,  having  nothing  certain  to  say.  I  will 
now  tell  you  first  that  I  am  safe  and  loell — which  is 
the  very  truth  —  and  then  I  may  relate  how  I  got  on. 
I  had  a  dreadful  passage  to  Rotterdam :  Wednesday 
night  was  an  awful  storm,  and  Thursday  morning  was 
worse.  I  was  sea-sick  and  frightened  at  sea  for  the 
first  time :  so  you  will  suppose  it  was  no  trifle :  in  fact, 
it  was  unusually  severe.  I  went  up  at  midnight  and 
found  four  men  at  the  helm,  hint  enough  for  me,  so 
I  went  down  again,  and  in  the  morning  a  teri-ific  sea 
tore  the  whole  four  from  the  helm,  threw  the  captain 
as  far  as  the  funnel  (twenty  paces),  and  the  three  men 
after  him.  Had  it  not  come  direct  aft,  it  would  have 
swept  them  into  the  sea,  boat,  skylights,  and  everything 
in  short,  and  have  left  us  a  complete  wreck.  Eleven 
others  miscarried  that  same  night,  near  at  hand,  so  . 
you  may  thank  the  cherub  I  told  you  of:  but  such 
a  storm  has  seldom  been  known.  It  was  quite  a  squeak 
for  the  Comic  for  183G.  But  when  you  come  the  weath- 
er will  be  settled,  and  such  a  sea  comes  but  once  in 
seven  years.  "When  you  sec  four  at  the  helm  you  may 
be  frightened,  but  mind,  not  till  then.  Steam,  I  think, 
saved  us ;  you  ought  to  offer  up  a  golden  kettle  some- 
where. You  were  given  over  and  I  was  given  under  — 
but  we  have  both  been  saved,  I  trust,  for  each  other, 
and  Heaven  does  not  mean  to  part  us  yet.  But  it  made 
me  very  ill,  for  it  was  like  being  shaken  up  in  a  dice 
box,  and  I  have  had  a  sort  of  bilious  fever,  with  some- 
3  D 


50  IMEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

tiling  of  the  complaint  Elliot  cured  me  of,  and  could  not 
eat,  with  pains  in  my  side,  &c.,  which  I  nursed  myself 
for  as  well  as  I  could. 

I  made  two  acquaintances  on  board  —  one  gave  me  an 
introduction  to  a  doctor  at  Coblenz,  whom  I  have  not 
seen  ;  the  other  gave  me  an  introduction  to  his  father 
here,  where  I  took  tea  to-night ;  their  name  is  Vertue,  so 
you  see  my  morals  are  in  good  hands. 

I  got  to  Rotterdam  only  on  Thursday  night,  and  I  sup- 
ped there  very  merrily  with  the  young  Vertue  and  two 
of  his  friends. 

On  Friday  night  I  stopped  at  Niraeguen,  which  is  in  a 
state  of  war,  and  could  proceed  no  further  till  Saturday, 
which  night  I  passed  aboard,  and  on  Sunday  arrived  and 
slept  in  Cologne.*     Here  I  was  detained  on  Monday  by 

*  I  have  inserted  here  some  lines  from  "  Up  the  Rhine,"  which  were 
written  to  my  mother  from  this  place.  —  T.  U. 

The  old  Catholic  city  was  still, 

111  the  Minster  the  vespers  were  sung; 
And,  re-echoed  in  cadences  shrill, 

The  last  call  of  the  trumpet  had  niiifr; 
Wliile  across  the  broad  stream  of  the  IJliine 

The  full  moon  cast  a  silvery  zone; 
And  methonght,  as  I  gazed  on  the  sliiiio  — 

"  Surely  that  is  the  Eau  de  Cologne !  " 

I  inquired  not  the  place  of  its  source. 

If  it  ran  to  the  east  or  the  west ; 
r>ut  my  heart  took  a  note  of  its  course  — 

'I'iiat  it  flowed  toward  Her  I  love  best:  — 
'1  liat  it  flowed  toward  Her  I  love  liest, 

Like  those  wainicriiig  thoughts  of  my  own; 
Anil  the  fancy  such  sweetness  possessed 

That  the  Riiino  seemed  all  Eau  de  Cologne  J 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  51 

the  steamer  having  broken  a  padtlle,  but  made  myself 
agreeable  to  an  old  general,  Sir  Parker  Carrol,  who  took 
me  with  him  to  see  the  lions.  I  gave  him  a  bulletin  to 
carry  to  Dilke.  Strange  to  say,  the  general  once  lived 
at  their  house.  Also  made  acquaintance  with  a  Rev. 
INIr.  Clarke,  a  gentlemanly  young  man,  and  we  started 
on  Tuesday  for  Coblenz,  where  we  slept;  again  on 
"Wednesday  to  Maycnce,  slept  there,  and  to-day  he  set 
off  for  Frankfort,  and  I  returned  here.  At  all  these 
starts  I  have  had  to  rise  at  five,  and  was  too  worn  out 
and  weak  to  undertake  the  walking  plan  I  had  concerted 
with  Dilke,  so  I  went  up  and  down  by  the  boat  instead. 
Luckily,  I  got  better  on  Tuesday,  and  that  day  and 
Wednesday  and  to-day  being  fine,  I  enjoyed  it  very 
much.  From  Cologne  to  Mayence  is  all  beautiful  or 
magnificent ;  I  am  sure  you  will  enjoy  it,  especially  if,  as 
I  will  try,  I  meet  you  at  Cologne. 

I  want  you  to  see  the  cathedral.  I  am  going  to- 
morrow on  foot  to  look  among  the  villages ;  but  my  im- 
pression is,  from  what  Mr.  Vertue  says,  there  will  be 
some  difficulty  in  finding  anything  there ;  but  at  all 
events  there  are  lodgings  to  be  had  in  Coblenz,  which  is 
a  place  I  admire  much.  I  therefore  think  you  might 
start  for  Coblenz  at  once,  without  hearing  further  from 
me,  when  you  feel  able,  letting  me  know,  of  course,  your 
day  of  saihng,  for  in  case  of  my  getting  anything  at 
liingen,  &c.,  you  would  have  to  stop  here,  and  unless  I 
meet  with  something  to  my  taste  above,  I  shall  make  this 
our  fixture. 

Consult  Dilke.     For  my  part,  if  well  enough,  I  think 
you  may  safely  come  on  the  chance,  as  it  would  take  you 


52  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

five  days :  one  to  Rotterdam,  one  to  Kimogucn,  two  to 
Cologne,  and  one  to  Coblenz.  I  am  writing  but  a  busi- 
ness letter,  and  you  must  give  me  credit,  my  own  dearest, 
for  eveiything  else,  as  I  wish  to  devote  all  the  space  I 
can  to  describing  what  will  be  for  your  comfort.*  You 
must  come  to  Rotterdam  by  "  Der  Batavier,"  which  has 
female  accommodations  and  a  stewardess.  You  may  tell 
the  steward  I  was  nearly  swamped  with  him  in  the 
"  Lord  Melville,"  for  he  was  with  us,  and  will  remember 
jj.  *  *  *  *  You  must  expect  some  nuisances  and 
inconveniences,  but  they  will  do  to  laugh  at  when  we 
meet,  and  "Der  Batavier"  is  a  splendid  and  powerful 
steamer.  *  *  *  *  With  my  dear  ones  by  my  side, 
my  pen  will  gambol  through  the  Comic  like  the  monkey 
who  had  seen  the  world.  We  are  not  transported  even 
for  seven  years,  and  the  Rhine  is  a  deal  better  than  Swan 
River.  I  have  made  a  great  many  notes.  ]My  mind 
was  never  so  free  —  and  meaning  what  is  right  and  just 
to  all,  I  feel  cheerful  at  our  prospects,  and  in  spite  of  ill- 
ness have  kept  up.  This  will  not  reach  you  for  four  or 
five  days,  and  then  it  would  take  you  as  much  more  to 
come,  during  which  I  should  be  sure  to  get  a  place,  so  do 
not  wait  to  hear  from  me  again.  *  *  *  You  may 
reckon,  I  think,  upon  settling  at  Coblenz :  it  is  a  capital 
and  clean  town,  and  docs  justice  to  Dilke's  recommenda- 
tion. I  have  already  begun  some  "  Rhymes  of  the 
Rhine,"  of  which  the  first  is  justly  dedicated  to  your  own 
self  But  to-night  is  my  first  leisure.  I  have  been  like 
the  Wandering  Jew.     How  my  thoughts  and  wishes  fly 

■*  At  the  foot  of  tlie  letter  lie  iidded  a  list  offonelic  French  words 
that  my  mother  would  require  during  the  journey.  —  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS  OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  53 

over  the  vine-covered  hills  to  meet  yours  ;  my  love  sets 
towards  you  like  the  mighty  current  of  the  great  Rhine 
itself,  and  will  brook  no  impediments. 

I  grudge  the  common-place  I  have  been  obliged  to 
write ;  every  sentence  should  claim  you,  as  my  own  dear 
wife,  the  pride  of  my  youth,  the  joy  of  my  manhood,  the 
hope  of  all  my  after  days.  TAvice  has  the  shadow  of 
death  come  beween  us,  but  our  hearts  are  preserved  to 
throb  against  each  other.  I  am  content  for  your  sake  to 
wait  the  good  time  when  you  may  safely  undertake  the 
voyage,  and  do  not  let  your  heart  run  away  with  your 
head.  Be  strong  before  you  attempt  it.  Bring  out  with 
you  a  copy  of  "  Tylney  Ilall,"  which  I  shall  want  to 
refer  to.  I  want  no  others,  but  the  last  Comic.  If  you 
are  likely  to  be  some  time,  treat  me  with  one  letter. 
Dilke  will  tell  you  how  to  send  it.  I  long  to  be  settled 
and  at  work ;  I  owe  him  much,  and  wish  to  do  C.  Lamb 
while  it  is  fresh.  I  hope  Reynolds's  spasms  are  gone. 
They  could  not  do  better  than  come  up  the  Rhine  this 
summer,  it  would  not  cost  so  much  as  Brighton  —  and 
such  a  change  of  scene.  I  have  had  some  adventures  I 
must  tell  you  when  we  meet.  I  bought  this  paper  all  by 
telegraph  of  a  girl  at  Cologne.  We  could  not  speak  a 
word  to  each  other,  and  the  whole  ended  in  a  regular 
laugh  throughout  the  shop,  when  she  picked  out  of  the 
money  in  my  hand.    Was  not  I  in  luck  to  meet  the  only  * 

*  The  increased  facilities  of  tvavclling  have  made  John  Bull  as  much 
at  home  on  the  Rhine  as  by  the  Thames.  Those  who  know  Germany 
as  it  is,  will  hardly  recognise  it  in  my  father's  true  and  graphic  dclin- 
oatiou  of  it  as  it  was.  A  great  deal  of  what  he  says  hero  was  repent- 
ed in  "  Up  the  Rhine,"  but  has  still  the  charm  of  novelty  to  most,  as 
that  book  is  unhappily  out  of  print.  —  T.  H. 


54  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

two  or  three  English  that  were  out,  and  make  such 
friends  with  them.  But  I  really  am  getting  a  traveller, 
and  am  getting  brass,  and  pushing  my  way  with  them.  1 
forgot  to  say  at  Coblenz  the  men  frequent  the  Casinos, 
and  the  women  make  evening  parties  of  their  own,  but  I 
do  not  mean  to  give  up  my  old  domestic  habits.  We 
shall  set  an  example  of  fireside  felicity,  if  that  can  be 
said  of  a  stove,  for  we  have  no  grates  here  —  the  more 's 
the  pity.     God  bless  you  ever. 

Your  own, 

T.  H. 

Coblenz  (at  the  "Widow  Seil's),  372,  Castok  IIof. 

My  own  dearest  and  best  Love, 
The  pen  I  write  with  —  the  ink  it  holds  —  the  paper 
it  scrawls  upon  —  the  wax  that  Avill  seal  it  —  were  all 
bought  by  me  a  la  telegraph  —  except  that  I  had  the  as- 
surance (impudence  and  ignorance  go  together)  to  look  a 
pretty  young  German  lady  in  the  face  and  ask  her  for 
tlie  use  of  her  lips,  not  to  kiss,  but  to  translate  for  me, 
but  she  couldn't.  The  purport  of  this  is  to  tell  you  what 
I  think  will  give  you  ease  and  comfort  —  that  1  ana  fixed 
here  in  a  snug,  cheap,  airy  lodging  —  thanks  to  the  kind- 
ness of  the  Vertues,  who  have  taken  great  trouble  for  me. 
Lodgings  furnished  are  scarcely  to  be  had  here  at  all, 
and  when  the  Vertues  came  they  had  to  stay  at  an  inn 
seven  weeks.  Tliey  say,  and  I  feel,  I  am  fortunate. 
There  are  three  little  rooms,  one  backward,  my  study  as 
is  to  be,  with  surli  a  lovely  view  over  the  Moselle.  My 
licart  jumped  when  I  saw  it,  and  I  thought,  "  There  I 
shall  write   volumes!"     My  opposite  neighbour  is  tho 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        55 

Commandant,  so  it 's  a  genteel  neighbourhood.     To-day 
I  visited  the  Church  of  St.  Castor,  who  is  to  be  our  pa- 
tron Saint  (vide  address),  and  I  saw  a  bit  of  his  bone. 
Seriously  it  is  quite  a  snuggery,  where  I  should  want  but 
you  and  my  dear  boy  and  girl  to  be  very  happy  and  very 
loving.     I  went  up  a  mountain  opposite  yesterday  even- 
ing, commanding  a  magnilicent  expanse  of  view,  but  the 
thou"-ht  would  come  that  you  were  not  in  all  that  vast 
horizon.     But  it  is  splendid,  and  I  'm  sure  it  is  what  you 
would  enjoy.     The  Vertues   have  been  very  kind.     I 
have  just  taken  tea  with  them,  and  they  will  call  to-mor- 
row to  see  me  set  in.     Widow  Seil  is  a  woman  of  prop- 
erty, and  always  aboard  her  own  barges,  travelling  up 
and  down  the  Riiine,  and  her  daugliter  is  here  keeping 
house.     She  seemed  wonder-struck  this  morning,  and  so 
was  I,  to  reflect  how  we  are  to  get  on,  for  she  knows 
nothing  but  German ;  but  to-niglit  I  have  delighted  her 
by  telling  her  in  German  (which  I  have  poked  out)  to 
send  to  tiie  hotel  for  my  bag  and  cloak.     She  said  over 
and  over  again  "  das  is  gude."     I  hope  we  shan't  end  in 
Eloisa  and  Abelard.     In  the  fulness  of  her  approbation 
the  maid  fairly  gave  me  a  slap  on  the  back.     You  must 
know  servants  here  are  great  familiars.     The  waiters  at 
the  inns  are  hail-fellows  with  the  guests,  and  in  truth  but 
for  them  I  must  have  foregone  discourse,  for  they  gener- 
ally speak  French.     I  find  my  French   reviving  very 
fast,  and  so  I  get  on  well  enough. 

I  dine  at  a  table  d'hole,  and  sleep  here  and  breakfast, 
then  coftee  at  the  inn,  and  no  supper.  You  can  have 
your  dinner  sent  in  here,  I  mean  for  us  all,  very  reason- 
able and  without  trouble ;  and  on  the  first  of  May  I  can 


56        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

have  Vertue's  servant,  for  they  are  going  to  England. 
She  understands  EngUsh  wants,  and  has  a  high  charac- 
ter, so  I  think  I  have  provided  for  you  tolerably  well. 

Tell  Dilke  I  am  highly  pleased  with  Coblenz,  and  quite 
confirm  his  choice  —  it  is  by  far  the  best  thing  I  have 
seen. 

I  do  hope  you  will  soon  be  able  to  come,  and  in  the 
meantime  I  will  do  everything  I  can  think  of  to  facilitate 
your  progress.  *  *  *  I  should  like  a  set  of  Comics  for 
Vertue ;  and  bring  with  you  the  bound  up  Athenseuras, 
and  your  own  bound  books.  Get  the  steward  of  the 
"Batavier"  to  see  you  ashore  at  Rotterdam,  to  the  Hotel 
des  Pays  Bas,  and  in  case  of  any  difficulty  about  cus- 
toms, which  is  very  unlikely,  send  from  the  Hotel  for  Mr. 
Vertue,  jun.,  there.  The  English  ladies  will  explain  for 
you,  and  he  will  lend  his  help,  I  feel  sure.  Let  me  know 
exactly  when  you  sail  from  London,  and  I  will  meet  you 
at  Cologne  somehow.  Tell  Fanny  she  may  see  soldiers 
here,  if  she  likes,  all  day  long.  They  are  always  exer- 
cising ;  it  seems  like  —  "A  month  he  lived,  and  that  was 
March ! " 

If  she  behaves  well  on  the  voyage,  and  minds  what 
you  say,  I  will  show  her  wonders  here.  To-day  has 
been  beautiful  —  quite  warm  —  and  the  weather  looks 
well  set  in  for  fine.  My  httle  room  has  the  reputation 
of  being  cool  in  summer. 

I  saw  a  vision  of  you,  dearest,  to-day,  and  felt  you 
leaning  on  me,  and  looking  over  the  Moselle  at  the  blue 
mountains  and  vineyards.  I  long  but  to  get  to  work  with 
you  and  the  pigeon  pair  by  my  side,  and  then  I  shall  not 
sigli  for  the  past.     Only  cast  aside  sea  fears,  and  you  will 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  UOOD.        57 

find  your  voyage  a  pleasant  one.  Your  longest  spell  will 
be  from  Nimeguen  to  Cologne,  when  you  must  pass  a 
night  on  board,  but  then  I  shall  meet  you  to  take  care  of 
the  pair,  and  you  will  have  a  good  night's  rest.  Get 
yourselves  strong,  there  is  still  a  happy  future ;  fix  your 
eyes  forward  on  our  meeting,  my  best  and  dearest.  Our 
little  home,  though  homely,  will  be  happy  for  us,  and  we 
do  not  bid  England  a  very  long  good  night.  Good  night 
too,  my  dearest  wife,  my  pride  and  comfort. 

"  And  from  these  mountains  Avhere  I  now  respire, 
Fain  would  I  waft  such  Blessing  unto  thee,. 
As  with  a  sigh  I  deem  thou  now  miprht'st  be  to  me." 

Sunday  Morning. 

The  hens  do  lay  in  Coblenz,  they  are  cackling  rarely 
under  my  window.  I  am  located  thus  (here  follows  a 
sketch).  Dilke  will  understand  how  good  the  look-out  is, 
just  at  the  junction  of  the  Rhine  and  the  Moselle ;  it  is 
almost  the  corner  house  of  Coblenz.  I  am  charged  a 
trifle  extra  because  I  eat  two  rolls  at  breakfast,  so  you 
see  I  improve  in  my  habits :  the  Germans  eat  great  sup- 
pers and  little  breakfasts.  *  *  *  For  the  sake  of 
every  one  I  keep  myself  in  fighting  condition,  and  have 
brought  myself  to  look  forward  with  a  firm  and  cheerful 
composure  of  mind  that  I  hope  you  will  share  in. 

The  less  treasure  I  have  elsewhere,  the  more  I  feel 
the  value  of  those  I  have  within  my  heart,  and  never 
could  your  dear  presence  be  more  delightful  and  blessed 
in  its  influence  than  it  will  be  to  me  now.  Our  grapes, 
though  sourish  now,  will  ripen  into  sweetness  by  the  end 

3* 


58  JIEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

of  the  year,  and  I  shall  work  like  the  industrious  Ger- 
mans, whom  you  will  see  labouring  like  ants  on  the  face 
of  their  mountains.  Tell  the  IJeynoldses  they  could  not 
do  better  than  take  a  trip  here  in  the  summer,  when  it 
must  be  delightful.  It  cost  me,  illness  included,  but  about 
£10  to  get  here,  including  Mayence,  and  I  lost  something 
by  change  in  Holland.  The  Hotels,  barrmg  the  first 
rates,  professing  to  be  English  ones,  are  moderate  and 
comfortable.  My  dear  Fanny  will  enjoy  herself  here, 
there  is  so  much  bustle,  barges,  steamers,  soldiering,  and 
children  like  dwarf  men  and  women. 

Tell  her  I  expect  she  will  take  great  care  of  you  and 
her  brother  on  the  voyage,  and  not  give  you  trouble. 
The  first  thing  I  shall  ask,  when  I  see  you,  will  be  if  she 
has  been  good,  and  if  so  I  will  take  her  with  you  to  see 
the  cathedral  at  Cologne,  Avhich  with  its  painted  glass, 
«S:c.,  will  be  to  her  like  fairy  land.  *  *  *  *  You 
must  bring  blocks  enough  with  you  for  the  whole  Comic, 
or  more  than  that  will  be  better,  as  I  may  do  the  Ep- 
som or  something  else.  Bring  a  good  stock.  *  *  *  * 
Woodin  would  stare  to  see  calves  here,  going  to  slaughter, 
seven  days  old,  attended  by  dogs  bigger  than  themselves. 

I  bear  that  the  Ostend  steamers  got  well  knocked 
about  in  our  storm,  and  had  some  men  washed  over- 
board ;  —  my  head  still  reels  occasionally,  and  the  stairs 
seem  to  rock,  so  you  may  judge  what  it  was  —  the  very 
worst  for  many  years.  The  "  Batavicr  "  is  an  excellent 
boat  ;  have  porter  on  board  her,  as  you  will  get  none 
after  Rotterdam  ;  up  tlic  Kiiine  take  Cognac  and  water, 
not  the  sour  wine.  Wrap  yourself  well  up,  and  when 
the  bustle  of  departure  is  over  you  may  be  very  com- 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  59 

fortable,  but  up  to  Cologne  there  is  little  worth  seeing, 
except  the  towns,  such  as  Dlisseldorf.  From  Cologne  to 
Coblenz  is  superb,  and  I  shall  enjoy  it  with  you  ;  but 
mind,  be  sure  to  come  when  you  appoint,  as  I  cannot 
stay  long  at  Cologne, 

AVrite  to  me  "  Poste  Restante  h  Coblenz,"  as  I  go  to 
the  post-ofTice  every  day  to  inquire,  like  Monsieur  J\Iullct. 
You  would  be  quite  in  the  fa>hion  here  with  a  silk  bonnet, 
and  one  of  those  cloaks  with  a  deep  cape  to  the  elbows 
of  plain  or  figured  silk,  or  stuff,  such  as  I  saw  about  the 
streets  of  London  before  I  left.     It  is  very  quiet  here, 
except  when  Mrs.  Commandant  gives  a  party  opposite, 
when  there  are   carriages.     You  get  a  ghmpse  of  the 
Rhine  in  front  —  you  must  not  expect  carpets  here,  and 
you  will  have  stoves  instead  of  grates,  these  are  univer- 
sal.    By  the  bye  Mrs.  Dilke  told  me  to  have  my  linen 
well  aired,  I  suspect  it  was  only  her  ignorance,  and  that 
she  had  taken  what  is  u[)  in  all  the  packets  ^'■Dampschiffe  " 
for  damp  sliirts.     It  signifies  steamboats,  —  not  an  unnat- 
ural mistake.     Bring  me  a  set  of  Comics  for  my  own 
use,  your  bound  ones  will  do  —  Flanders  brick  of  course 
—  and  my  desk  with  all  my  papers  in  it.     That  box  that 
was  the  tool  chest,  -with  handles,  would  be  very  useful 
for  sending  over  all  the  Comic  blocks  in.     »     *     *    My 
young  landlady  has  paid  me  a  smiling  visit  this  morning, 
and  we  have  had  a  little  conversation  in  German  and 
Ensflish,  which  neither  of  us  understood.     St.  Castor  has 
just  dismissed  his  congregation  in  various  grotesque  gaie- 
ties ;  the  most  distinguished  feature  was  a  violet  and  pink 
shot-silk  umbrella.     I  have  also  had  a  visit  this  morning 
from  a  strange  voung  gentleman,  but  for  want  of  the  gift 


60  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

of  tongues  he  took  nothing  by  his  motion.  I  am  in  fact 
a  sort  of  new  Irving,  with  the  girl  here  for  a  proselyte ; 
she  will  hold  forth,  understood  or  not.  Yesterday  I  gave 
two  groschen  to  two  little  girls  like  Fanny,  on  the  top  of 
the  mountain.  They  went  apart,  and  after  a  consultation, 
one  dispatched  the  other  to  present  to  me,  I  guess,  an 
address  of  thanks,  or  to  ask  for  more,  I  don't  know 
which,  but  I  think  the  former.  I  found  on  the  same 
eminence  a  good  honest  fellow,  very  civil  for  nothing,  and 
a  good  Christian  no  doubt,  although  like  Satan  he  thence 
pointed  out  to  me  all  the  kingdoms  of  the  earth. 

Whenever  my  eyes  leave  the  paper  they  see  the  Mo- 
selle still  gliding  on,  and  my  own  verses*  occur  to  me 
with  a  powerful  application  of  them  to  you,  and  my  chil- 
dren all  beyond  the  bluest  of  the  blue  hills.  I  shall  give 
you  good  measure,  and  shall  cross  this  letter,  though  I  do 
not  pretend  yet  to  write  letters  worth  reading,  for  my 
head  is  still  confused,  and  I  am  but  just  settled  down. 
Otherwise  I  have  made  many  notes  and  memorandums, 
which  I  need  not  write  either  to  you,  who  will  I  hope  see 
the  things  referred  to.  The  Vertues  have  called,  and 
kept  me  beyond  my  time.  They  have  begged  me  to 
make  their  house  my  home,  and  are  very  obliging.  To- 
day being  Sunday  we  dined  in  state,  with  a  band  playing, 
and  I  indulged  in  a  glass  of  wine  in  which  I  drank  your 
health.  I  have  just  bought  with  much  trouble  an  in- 
stantaneous light  to  seal  this  letter  wilii.  I  am  become 
quite  a  citizen  of  the  world,  I  talk  to  every  one  in  Eng- 
lish, broken  French,  and  bad  (jlennan,  and  have  the 
vanity  to  tliink  I  make  friends  wherever  I  go. 

*  "  Still  glides  the  gentle  streamlet  on."  —  T.  II. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  61 

Tell  Dilke  this,  it  will  please  him.  Say  to  John  I 
shall  write  him  a  long  letter  as  soon  as  1  hear  from 
London,  and  also  to  Dilke.  I  have  seen  to-day  the  whole 
troops  on  the  parade,  governors,  demi-governors,  &c. 
Their  bands  do  not  equal  ours,  some  of  our  drums  would 
beat  them  hollow,  and  they  have  no  good  horses.  *  *  * 
May  God  have  all  those  I  love,  or  who  love  me,  in  His 
Holy  keeping,  is  the  prayer  of  the  subscribed, 

Thomas  Hood. 

In  accordance  with  the  arrangements  laid  down  by  my 
father,  my  mother,  accompanied  by  my  brother  and  my- 
self, went  on  board  the  "  Batavier  "  on  the  29th  of  March, 
1835,  and  were  joined  by  my  father  at  Cologne.  From 
thence  we  proceeded  to  Coblenz.  I  have  inserted  the 
following  letter  from  my  mother,  as  it  describes  better 
than  I  could  do  their  first  settling  in  their  new  home. 
Her  descriptions  also  of  what  she  saw  are  so  evidently 
influenced  and  aided  by  my  father's  observations,  that 
they  are  almost  as  interesting  as  his  own. 

372,  Castoe  Hof,  Coblenz,  22nd  June,  1835. 
My  dear  Mrs.  Elliot, 
*  *  *  *  I  was  fortunate  in  my  voyage  here  in 
having  fair  weather,  and  also  in  having  the  ladies'  cabin 
of  the  "  Batavier "  to  myself,  with  the  exception  of  a 
young  lady  about  fifteen,  who  was  coming  to  a  Moravian 
School  at  one  of  the  villages  on  the  Rhino.  Tlie  stew- 
ardess too  was  a  very  respectable  woman,  and  very 
attentive.  We  got  to  Rotterdam  about  six  on  Monday 
evening,  and  then  some  of  my  troubles  began.    We  were 


G2  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

to  set  off  by  the  Rhine  steamer  at  six  tlie  next  morning, 
and  I  desired  them  to  call  me  at  five ;  but  the  stupid 
chambermaid  came  and  knocked  at  my  door  at  twelve. 
I  did  not  find  out  the  mistake  until  I  had  witli  dillicidty 
roused  Fanny  from  her  bed,  and  got  her  dressed.  From 
being  disturbed,  when  six  came  the  poor  child  was  so 
sick  and  ill,  I  was  obliged  to  have  her  carried  down  to 
the  steamboat.  From  Rotterdam  to  Cologne  is  very 
flat  and  uninteresting,  and  a  very  slow  passage,  as  it  is 
against  the  stream.  AVe  passed  the  night  on  board, 
whicli  I  should  not  have  minded  except  for  the  children. 
I  got  some  beds  made  up  for  them  in  the  cabin,  and 
thought  tliey  would  be  tolerably  comfortable.  But  at 
nine  we  stopped  and  took  on  board  a  company  of  Prus- 
sian soldiers,  witli  about  twenty  officers,  who  all  came 
clattering  into  tlie  cabin  wliich  was  not  very  large,  and 
the  tables  were  spread  for  their  suppers.  After  tlioy  had 
done  eating,  they  played  cards  till  three  in  the  morning, 
wlien  most  of  them  were  put  ashore  at  DUsseldorf.  "We 
were  to  have  arrived  at  Cologne  at  12  o'clock,  but  to 
accommodate  the  Prussian  officers,  our  steam  was  made 
to  boil  a  gallop  and  we  arrived  at  10  a.m.  So  tliat  I  got 
to  the  Hotel  du  Rhin  before  Ilood,  wlio  was  killing  time 
on  the  parade.  When  he  arrived  I  scarcely  knew  him, 
he  looked  so  very  ill.  He  made  me  stay  a  day  here  to 
refresh,  which  I  very  nnich  needed ;  for  my  poor  bal)y 
suffered  inucli  for  want  of  his  usual  comforts,  and  I  felt 
the  fatigue  with  the  children  very  nuicii.  Oiii-  stay 
allowed  us  to  sec  the  curiosities  of  Cologne  wliich  are 
well  worth  seeing;  the  Calhcdial  more  especially  :  at 
the  least  so  much  as  is  finished  of  it,  for  it  never  will  be 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  63 

completed  unless  the  old  days  of  Roman  Catholic  power 
and  glory  should  return.  The  interior  for  lightness  and 
elegance  is  perfectly  exquisite,  flood  says  if  the  Loretto 
Angel  had  to  carry  away  a  Cathedral,  he  would  choose 
that  of  Cologne.  We  saw  all  its  wonders  and  relics,  its 
golden  shrine,  inlaid  with  cameos  and  gems,  and  delicate 
mosaic ;  though  some  of  the  jewels  by  a  dishonest  miracle 
are  converted  into  coloured  glass.  We  saw  the  crowns 
of  the  Three  Wise  Kings,  and  also  some  admirable  sculp- 
tures in  ivory.  I  must  not  forget  to  mention  the  painted 
windows,  which  are  splendid,  and  the  tapestries  in  the 
choir  from  the  designs  of  Rubens,  which  are  quite  in  the 
style  of  the  Cartoons.  There  is  also  a  curious  picture, 
very  old  indeed,  of  the  Three  Kings  adoring  the  Virgin 
and  Child  —  in  parts  recalling  Raffiielle  to  my  mind.  In 
the  old  church  of  St.  Peter,  where  Rubens  was  baptized, 
we  saw  one  of  his  masterpieces  —  the  martyrdom  of  the 
pati'on  saint  —  they  make  you  stoop  and  look  at  it,  with 
your  head  downwards  (like  the  figure  of  the  martyr)  to 
show  the  expression  of  the  face,  which  is  truly  marvel- 
lous. From  the  church  —  what  a  next  step  !  —  we  went 
to  the  masquerade  room,  which  is  of  vast  dimensions, 
supported  by  a  range  of  pillars  in  the  middle,  in  the 
shape  of  gigantic  champagne  glasses,  out  of  which  seem 
to  issue  a  quantity  of  painted  masquerade  figures  nearly 
covering  the  ceiling.  The  idea  is  better  than  the  execu- 
tion. German  wit  and  humour.  Hood  says,  are  like 
yeast  dumplings  a  day  old. 

Cologne  itself  is  a  rambling  place  full  of  crooked  nar- 
row streets,  where  you  may  lose  yourself  without  much 
trouble.     When  Hood  was  there  by  himself  he  says  he 


64  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

never  went  out  but  he  was  obliged  to  get  a  boy  to  show 
him  home  again.  I  wish  I  could  praise  its  atmosphere 
—  but  as  Head  says  in  the  "  Bubbles,"  the  Eau  de  Co- 
■  logne  seems  to  extract  all  pleasant  perfume  from  its  air. 
We  started  by  steamer  for  Coblenz  at  seven  on  Saturday 
morning,  and  soon  after,  near  Bonn,  the  fine  scenery  of 
the  Rhine  began  to  open  with  the  towering  Drachenfels 
and  the  seven  mountains.  The  abrupt  transition  from 
flat  uninteresting  country  to  the  mountainous  and  pictur- 
esque is  striking  and  singular ;  for  from  this  point  nearly 
to  Mayence,  it  is  on  both  sides  of  the  river  high  and 
varied  in  its  features.  The  villages  are  very  quaint  and 
pretty,  and  almost  as  numerous  as  mile-stones.  As  it 
was  the  planting  season,  we  saw  the  industrious  peas- 
antry working  like  ants  among  their  vines  on  the  face  of 
the  mountains ;  so  small  and  yet  so  distinct  as  to  remind 
one  of  the  elfins  and  gnomes  of  German  romance. 

We  arrived  at  Coblenz  about  six,  and  really  the  place 
justifies  our  friend's  recommendation.  The  houses  are 
good,  the  streets  wide,  airy,  and  clean,  with  here  and 
there  a  bit  of  pavement  in  the  English  style,  which  I 
always  found  attracted  my  weary  feet  as  if  it  had  been 
a  loadstone.  The  Avalking  in  Cologne  was  very  rough, 
Hood  calls  it  a  stone  storm,  and  says  if  a  certain  place  is 
paved  with  good  intentions,  Cologne  must  have  been 
paved  with  the  bad  ones.  The  very  horses  are  compelled 
to  wear  high-heeled  shoes  to  prevent  slipping. 


As  for  Hood,  he  was  in  a  wretched  state  of  health,  he 
had  been  sadly  overdone  before  he  left  England,  and  the 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  65 

Storm  he  was  out  in  completed  the  mischief,  otherwise  ho 
is  fond  of  and  used  to  the  sea ;  but  they  were  very  nearly 
lost,  eleven  other  vessels  were  wrecked  the  same  night, 
in  the  same  storm,  in  or  near  the  mouth  of  the  Maes. 

Hood  got  worse  day  by  day,  but  we  could  not  prevail 
on  him  to  have  advice,  though  Mr.  Vertue  strongly  rec- 
ommended Dr.  B who  had  attended  his  family  while 

they  were  here.  At  last  we  were  compelled  to  call  him 
in,  for  Hood  was  seized  with  most  frightful  spasms  in  the 
chest.  I  cannot  express  how  wretched,  and  terrified  I 
was,  for  he  said  himself  it  was  like  being  struck  with 
death.    His  countenance  was  sunk  and  his  eyes  too.    He 

was  seized  first  at  night,  and  Dr.  B remained  with 

him  for  two  hours,  and  then  left  him  somewhat  easier, 
but  the  pain  lasted,  at  intervals,  all  night,  and  left  him 
next  day  as  weak  as  a  child.  After  this  he  had  many 
similar  attacks,  but  slighter  ones.  I  wanted  faith  in  our 
physician,  but  of  course  did  not  say  so  r  their  practice  is 
so  different  to  the  English,  they  won't  hear  of  calomel. 

However  Dr.  B certainly  brought  Hood  round,  and 

for  the  last  fortnight  he  has  got  on  rapidly,  for  which  I 

cannot  be   too   thankful.     Dr.   B recommends   his 

going  to  Ems,  for  a  little  change,  but  he  is  too  busy  to 
spare  time  for  it. 

"We  are  now  very  comfortably  settled,  we  have  a  little 
kitchen,  about  three  yards  square,  and  Gradle  our  ser- 
vant, with  my  superintendence,  manages  the  cooking 
pretty  well.  I  have  actually  been  successful  in  a  beef- 
steak pudding,  and  an  Irish  stew,  and  we  have  given  up 
our  "  portions "  and  the  table  d'hote.  Lodging  au.l 
washing  are  dear  here,  the  latter  as  much  so  as  in  Eng- 


66  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

land,  but  food  is   cheap ;  mutton  3  groschen  a  pound, 
about  three  pence  halfpenny.     Beef  and  veal  the  same, 
but  the  latter  is  wretched,  so  young  and  so  small ;  vege- 
tables and  fruit  very  cheap.     The  cherries  are  abundant, 
there  is  a  walk  out  of  one  of  the  gates  that  is  nearly  a 
mile  long,  I  should  think,  with  cherry-trees  all  the  way 
on  each  side,  loaded  with  fruit ;  when  in  blossom  it  was 
a  lovely  sight.     Grapes  are  of  course  very  plentiful,  and 
walnut-trees  are  planted  everywhere :  all  the  furniture  is 
made  of  walnut  wood,  and  very  pretty  it  is.     There  is  a 
walk  here  of  rose-trees,  the  most  beautiful  you  can  im- 
agine.    They  arc  standards,  the  stems  nearly  two  yards 
high,  of  every  kind  and  variety,  all  loaded  with  bloom. 
There  is  a  triple  row  of  about  two  hundred  yards,  it  is 
the  prettiest  sight  I  ever  saw.     Mr.  JMaiden  would  be 
dehghted  with  the  cactus  tribe  here ;  they  are  splendid, 
four  or  five  feet  high,  rich  with  bloom :  the  Cereus  too 
are  equally  fine,  they  train  them   u\)  sjjirally,  and  the 
effect  is  better  than  when  they  fall  over  the  pot.     The 
flowers  of  some  of  the  cacti  are  of  a  rich  peculiar  crim- 
son I  have  never  seen  before.     The  walks  round  Cob- 
lenz  are  so  lovely  that  we  have  overdone  ourselves,  and 
have  been  obliged  to  stay  at  home  for  a  day  or  two  to 
recover.     The  moment  you  pass  the  gates  of  the  town 
in   any  direction  you  arc   in    a   garden   of  Eden ;   or- 
chards, cornfields,  vineyards,  villages,  mountains  crested 
\\itli    ruined    castles,  and   llirough    all    lluws   the    rapid, 
"arrowy  Khine,"  now  almost  of  a  sea-green    colour  — 
the   blue  Moselle   runs   into  it  just   witliin  view  of   (lie 
back  of  our  house.     Before  I  was  well  enough   to  walk 
much.  Hood  inveigled  mc  up  tlie  twin  heiglit  (o  Eliren- 
breilstein. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  67 

"  Ah,  wlio  can  tell  how  hard  it  is  to  climb  ! " 
He  would  not  allow  me  to  look  behind,  and  I  could  see 
nothing  befoi-e  me  but  a  fresh  ascent  at  every  turn,  so  I 
panted  up  to  the  top  like  the  asthma  personified.  But 
the  panoramic  view  well  repaid  me,  I  cannot  describe  it, 
for  I  never  saw  anything  like  it  before.  You  see  across 
the  Rhine  down  into  Coblenz,  which  lies  under  you  like 
a  map.  Round  the  city  is  a  fertile  plain,  as  diversified 
in  colour  as  a  patchwork  quilt,  bounded  by  the  distant 
mountains ;  you  see  snatches  of  the  IMoselle,  and  higher 
up  the  Rhine  is  divided  by  an  island  with  what  was  a 
nunnery  upon  it.  Only  George  Robins  could  describe 
all  the  other  features,  and  for  once  he  could  not  embel- 
lish. How  I  wish  —  to  use  a  common  expression  —  you 
could  "  enter  into  my  vines."  To  pass  from  nature  to 
art.  Hood  took  me  into  the  Jesuit's  church  here,  predict- 
ing that  I  should  be  half  converted  to  Catholicism,  and 
so,  between  you  and  me,  was  the  case,  fur  the  altar- 
piece,  screen,  pulpit,  &c.,  with  all  the  apostles  and  angels, 
and  the  figures,  appear  to  be  of  fine  Dresden  china, 
which  you  know  all  ladies  have  a  great  affection  for. 
Fanny  too  has  a  bias  to  Popery,  I  think,  there  are  so 
many  processions,  and  children  with  flags,  little  girls  in 
white  with  wreaths  of  wliite  roses  and  valley  lilies,  and 
baskets  of  flowers.  In  short  all  she  would  enjoy  at  a 
London  theatre  with  the  advantage  of  freshness  and  the 
open  air.  Last  Thursday  was  Corpus  Christi  day,  and 
tlie  host  was  carried  in  great  state  and  pomp.  Tiiey 
erected  an  altar  over  a  public  conduit  at  the  end  of  our 
street,  the  said  conduit  having  been  prematurely  erected 
by  the  French  as  a  trophy  of  their  comimj  triiunph  over 
the  Russians.     It  is  most  laughingly  inscribed. 


G8  MEMORIALS   OF  THOJIAS  HOOD. 

"  Memorable  par  la  Campague  contre  les  Russes,  sous  la 
Prefecture  de  Jules  Douzan.     Anno  1812. 

"  Vu  eli  approuve  par  nous,  Couuiiandant  Russe  de  la 
ville  de  Coblenz  le  ler  Janvier,  1814." 

So  much  for  the  foreign  department,  and  now  for 
the  Home !  You  will  be  glad  to  hear  the  children 
have  thriven  recently  to  my  heart's  content.  Fanny 
is  very  well  and  happy,  my  baby  is  a  healthy  little 
ci'eature,  and  so  "bronzy"*  with  brown  and  red,  his 
Papa  declares  that  at  our  first  party  he  shall  hold  a 
wax-candle.  He  is  as  fat  and  hard  as  a  German  sau- 
sage, and  so  merry  you  would  pick  him  out,  as  Dr. 
Kitchener  recommends  you  to  choose  lobsters,  namely, 
as  "  heavy  and  lively."  N.  B.  Paternal  vanity  is  an- 
swerable for  the  last  sentence. 


The  coffee  here  is  really  a  sort  of  evening  brown 
stout.  It  is  roasted,  or  as  they  say  here  "burned"  at 
home ;  and  wliatever  be  the  cause,  it  is  so  different 
a  beverage  that  Hood  says  he  suspects  with  Accum 
that  the  English  coffee  is  made  from  horse-beans.  Tea 
is  bad,  and  dear  here.  You  may  judge  how  good  the 
coffee  must  be  when  I  say  that  I  do  not  regret  it ; 
besides  the  leaves  are  not  in  request  here  as  tliere 
are  no  car[)ets.     Hood  says  amongst  the  "  Bridgewater 

*  This  is  an  allusion  to  two  handsome  bronze  fi;;nres  of  cliiidri-n 
reading,  mounted  as  candlesticks,  which  used  to  stand  on  the  draw- 
ing-room mantel-piece,  and  were  heir-looms  familiar  to  all  his  friends, 
BO  that  tlie  joke  was  a  domestic  one.  —  T.  11. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  69 

Treatises,"  they  miglit  have  instanced  this  as  a  mani- 
festation of  a  Providence. 

I  have  heard  of  German  cousins,  but  I  am  sure  we 
are  not  relations,  or  we  should  be  more  upon  speaking 
terms. 

"  We  are  only  on  tallcing  terms  ivith  the  Butcher,  an 
Anglo-Prussian  officer,  and  the  Doctor  (^all  in  the  killing 
line),  hut  Hood  manages  to  get  on  tcith  a  little  had 
French,  lohich,  as  he  lived  at  Wanstead,  he  very  probably 
picked  up  at  '  Stratford  atte  Bow^  notorious,  as  Chaucer 
declares,  for  such  a  jargon.  All  our  dinners  are  ordered 
per  dictionary,  hut  we  still  get  onions  sometimes  for  tur- 
nips, and  radishes  for  carrots.  It  sounds  farcical,  but 
it 's  true,  that  I  sent  for  a  fowl  for  my  dear  invaluable 
invalid  (/  mean  Hood),  and  the  servant  brought  hack 
two  bundles  of  goose-quills  !  " 

I  need  not  make  any  remark  on  the  foregoing  sentence 
■which  has  been  written  in  my  absence,  but  I  must  con- 
firm the  feathery  fact. 


My  baby  has  been  vaccinated  here  according  to  law, 
as  we  should  have  been  fined  for  omitting  it ;  though 
^\here  the  original  cow-pock  comes  from  is  a  mystery,  as 
well  as  the  milk,  for  you  never  see  a  cow  but  once  on 
a  time  in  a  cart :  and  good  reason  why,  as  peas,  beans, 
corn,  and  clover  run  all  into  one,  without  hedges  or  fence 
of  any  kind. 

It  surprises  me  that  we  get  sweet  mill;  the  Germans 
have  such  a  turn  for  everything  sour.  The  witie  is  sour, 
they  preserve  plums  in  vinegar,  the  very  spring  water  at 


70  SIEMORIALS    OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

Ehrenhreitstein  is  acid,  and  called  Sour  Wafer/  How- 
ever, as  a  set-off,  they  pichle  their  walnuts  ivith  sugar  and 
cloves.  But  the .  vinegar  made  of  Hoclc  or  Moselle  is  szc- 
perb,  almost  a  wine  of  itself.  I  am  pickling  some  cucum- 
bers that  I  expect  will  be  superlative. 

That  is  Hood's  again,  for  my  letter  is  written  by 
snatches  as  "my  occupation  isn't  gone"  like  Othello's, 
but  come.  Fortunately  my  baby  is  fond  of  Gradle,  and 
will  go  to  her,  which  relieves  my  fatigue. 

"  I shoidd  have  said,  carries  off  a  good  deal  of  my  Fat 
Teague !  " 

Hood  again !  I  will  not  quit  this  letter  again  till  I 
have  finished  it,  he  has  "  interpret  himself  so." 

Our  greatest  present  annoyance  is,  that  if  we  poke  out 
a  short  sentence  of  broken  German,  they  give  us  such 
credit  for  our  progress  that  they  fancy  we  can  return  a 
whole  volley  of  paragraphs.  I  regret  very  much  that  I 
cannot  converse  with  one  of  our  landlady's  daughters, 
she  has  such  a  sweet  voice,  so  pretty  a  face,  that  Hood 
is  quite  in  love  with  her,  but  fortunately  he  can't  declare 
himself.  Female  beauty,  or  even  prettiness,  is  a  rarity 
at  Coblenz.  A  miller's  daughter,  a  mile  off  is  the  para- 
gon. Hood  calls  her  the  "  Flour  ; "  they  say  she  is  well 
educated  too.  I  mean,  if  possible,  to  Avalk  out  and  see 
her ;  strange  to  say,  she  is  still  single. 

",/oe  Miller  says,  because  there  are  two  dams  to  ash 
instead  of  one  !  " 

We  heard  of  her  through  a  young  English  ofTicer  in 
the  Prussian  service  here.  He  introduced  liimself  to  us, 
during  our  evening  Avalk,  being  attracted  by  our  King's 
English,  and  we  were  equally  hy  his,  as  well  as  by  his 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        71 

dog,  which  seemed  /io))ie  made  ;  for  you  must  know  the 
Coblenz  dogs  are  remarkably  ugly  and  naturally  like 
foxes,  but  after  the  first  warm  summer  day,  they  were 
all  converted  by  clipping  the  hinder  parts  into  mock 
lions.  He  seemed  determined  to  know  us.  First  he 
told  Fanny,  who  was  not  at  all  timid,  to  have  no  fear  of 
liis  dog,  who  was  not  at  all  ferocious.  As  that  failed  to 
lead  to  an  introduction,  he  walked  back  after  us,  and  in- 
troduced himself.  In  truth  we  Avere  equally  glad  to  give 
him  change  for  his  English,  which  he  declared  he  had  by 
him  till  it  had  become  burdensome.  He  has  since  called  : 
he  has  been  fourteen  years  in  the  Prussian  service,  but 
his  heart  seems  to  yearn  after  England  and  his  family ; 
his  mother  is  an  Englishwoman.  He  is  a  very  nice,  un- 
assuming young  man ;  as  he  is  stationed  at  Ehrenbreit- 
stein  he  has  offered  some  day  to  help  us  to  scale  that 
impregnable  fortress. 

The  English  are  beginning  to  come  here  now,  last 
night's  steamboat  brought  a  number ;  the  general  opinion 
is  that  they  will  not  swarm  here,  as  they  have  done. 
Head's  "  Bubbles"  sent  a  great  number,  but  having  once 
been  they  do  not  come  again.  It  is  said,  that  for  the  last 
two  years  their  coming  raised  the  price  of  everything 
fifty  per  cent.  A  war  would  break  half  the  hanlcs  of 
the  Riiine,  —  at  least  the  magnificent  hotels  on  them. 
Sliould  you  by  any  chance  think  of  visiting  the  great  river, 
we  will  send  you  all  information  —  such  as  the  professed 
guides  do  not  condescend  to  give  —  for  instance,  if  you 
wisli  for  a  clean  fiacc  and  hands,  to  carry  a  cake  of  soap, 
wliich  vou  will  not  find  in  the  best  Jim's  best  bedrooms. 


72  MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

While  Hood  was  ill  I  felt  very  depressed  and  out  of 
spirits,  of  course  my  own  weak  health  rendered  me  but 
a  poor  nurse  to  him.  I  thought  there  was  no  end  to  my 
troubles,  and  felt  as  Rosalind  says,  "  how  full  of  briars  is 
this  work-a-day  world."  But  I  am  now  in  much  better 
spirits,  and  we  get  on  better  altogether.  The  comforts 
the  English  miss  are  not  very  portable,  or  they  might 
bring  them  out,  for  instance,  —  a  four-post  bed,  a  Rum- 
ford  stove,  a  kitchen  range,  and  a  carpet.  But  use  recon- 
ciles, we  almost  feel  native,  and  "  to  the  manner  born,"  so 
don't  pity  us,  for  we  don't  pity  ourselves. 


Hood  bids  me  describe  a  scene  with  IVIiss  Seil,  the 
landlady's  daughter.  I  wanted  some  egg-cups,  and  in 
illustration  I  showed  her  the  eggs,  and  she  guessed  so 
near  that  she  snatched  up  a  saucer  and  broke  the  egg 
into  it,  evidently  wondering  in  her  eg-otism  that  having 
eggs  we  did  not  know  where  to  lay  'em.  "When  I  shook 
my  head,  she  looked  at  me  in  despair,  and  seemed  to  say, 
'  AVHiat  a  pity  that  broken  German  and  broken  English 
should  break  good  eggs ! '  Talking  of  eggs,  you  find 
them  in  tlic  market  of  the  gayest  colours ;  and  Hood 
says,  'Twigg  would  wonder  what  coloured  liens  they 
are  that  lay  them.'  I  took  the  purple  ones  for  egg- 
j)lums.  Tlioy  have  apples  now  of  last  year's  growth,  and 
bring  them  to  market,  and  put  them  in  water  to  iilunip 
lliem  out ;  and  I  can  believe  Head's  story  of  the  tailor 
eating  a  wa.-hhand-basin  full  of  fresh  Orleans  plums, 
after  seeing  the  countrymen  cal  llic  apples  only  half  un- 
wizened  out  of  the  tub.     The  potatoes  are   small,  and 


IIEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  73 

Hood  says  he  was  nearly  choked  by  some  sliced  up  and 
fried,  as  he  found  afterwards,  in  the  same  pan  which  had 
cooked  some  bony  Prussian  carp  the  day  before. 


The  foregoing  letter  presents  a  fair  specimen,  here  and 
there,  of  the  dictations  and  suggestions,  but  more  espe- 
cially of  the  interpolations  and  additions,  with  which  my 
father  delighted  to  embellish  my  mother's  letters.  "When- 
ever she  left  a  half-finished  letter  anywhere  in  his  reach, 
she  was  sure,  on  her  return,  to  find  "  notes  and  queries  " 
inserted,  often  much  opposed  to  her  original  meaning, 
and  frequently  tending  to  the  utter  mystification  of  the 
recipient  of  the  letter.  Her  handwriting  was,  although 
legible,  rather  peculiar,  and  he  delighted  in  making  it 
more  so,  —  altering  o's  and  a's,  and  changing  t's  into  d's, 
to  the  utter  confusion  of  her  meaning.  On  one  occasion 
this  led  to  an  absurd  mistake.  She  had  written  to  a 
friend  to  procure  her  some  good  Berlin  patterns  for  slip- 
pers, &c. ;  but  during  her  absence,  my  father  got  hold  of 
her  note,  and,  in  his  favourite  fashion,  altered  and  touched 
up  the  words.  Some  time  after,  she  received  a  reply 
from  her  friend,  asking  what  new  English  article  it  could 
be  that  was  dignified  by  the  name  of  "  dippers  !  " 

From  the  time  of  their  arrival  at  Coblenz,  my  father's 
health  continued  very  bad  ;  and  the  necessity  for  constant 
work  still  continuing,  there  was  little  chance  of  amend- 
ment. Still  his  happy  flow  of  spirits  never  failed  him, 
as  may  be  seen  by  his  letters. 

The  first  summer  of  my  father's  residence  at  Coblenz 
was  pleasantly  varied  by  his  making  acquaintance,  as 
4 


74  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

mentioned  by  my  mother,  witli  a  young  Prussian  officer, 
M.  de  Franck.  After  their  meeting  during  a  walk  by 
the  Rhine,  my  father  wrote  him  the  following  note :  — 

Sir, 

I  regi-et  that  I  had  not  a  card  about  me  to  offer  to  you 

in  acknowledgment  of  a  rencontre  so  agreeable.     I  beg 

leave  to  enclose  one,  lest  you  should  suppose  me  infected 

with  that  national  shyness,  which  makes  foreigners  so  apt 

to  consider  us  as  a  grand  corps  de  reserve. 

I  have  the  honour  to  be.  Sir, 

Yours  obediently, 

Thomas  Hood. 
Lieutenant  de  Fkanck, 
19th  Polish  Regiment,  Ehrenbreitstein. 

My  father  found  in  M.  de  Franck  a  very  pleasant  and 
agreeable  friend,  and  a  great  help  in  all  dilhculties  of 
German  usage  and  language.  He  was  his  constant  cora- 
])anion  in  all  his  fishing  rambles  and  excursions,  and  used 
to  drop  in,  in  a  quiet  friendly  way,  of  an  evening,  and 
play  cribbage  with  my  father  and  mother.  They  made 
the  merriest  and  cosiest  little  party  imaginable,  generally 
finishing  witli  some  dainty  treat  of  English  cookery  for 
supper.  During  my  mother's  enforced  absences  to  su- 
perintend the  cooking  of  these  little  edibles,  the  "  two 
knaves  "  took  the  opportunity  of  changing  her  cards,  mov- 
ing her  pegs,  &c.,  secretly  delighted  at  her  puzzles  and 
wonderings  on  her  return.  On  these  occasions  my  father 
generally  kept  them  in  a  continual  laugh  by  his  flow  of 
witty  anecdotes  and  jokes. 

Tlie  following  is  a  letter  to  INFr.  Dilkc,  the  then  editor 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  75 

of  the  "  Athenfeum,"  and  one  of  my  father's   earliest 
friends :  — 

CoBLENZ,  M'ly  6th,  1835. 

My  dear  Dilke, 

You  ought  to  have  heard  from-  me  before,  but  I  was  loth 
to  inflict  upon  you  bad  news  in  return  for  your  very  kind 
letter,  for  every  syllable  of  which  I  thank  you,  and  in- 
stead of  quarrelling  with  what  you  have  said,  I  thank 
you  for  the  meaning  beyond.  The  truth  is  I  have  been 
unchanged  from  the  hour  I  left  you,  ray  mind  has  not 
faltered  for  an  in.-tant,  but  though  the  spirit  is  willing, 
the  body  is  weak.  My  health  broke  down  under  me  at 
last,  after  a  series  of  physical,  as  well  as  mental  trials, 
and  I  am  not  a-Gog  corporeally,  witness  my  experiments 
in  your  night-gowns.  "  Tylney  Hall,"  the  "  Comic," 
Jane's  illness,  and  the  extreme  exhaustion  consequent 
thereon,  disappointment,  storm  and  travel,  c^me  a  pick-a- 
back, and  I  am  not  a  Belzoni  to  carry  a  dozen  on  each 
calf,  two  on  my  head,  &c.  I  broke  down  —  not  but  that 
I  fought  the  good  fight,  like  a  Widdrington,  with  a  good 
lieart,  but  I  was  shorn  of  my  physical  powers.  The 
storm  was  a  severe  one.  What  pitched  over,  literally, 
stout  mahogany  tables,  where  eight  or  ten  may  dine, 
might  derange  any  one ;  and  the  change  of  climate, 
which  is  really  considerable  (we  had  hotter  suns  in 
^Marcli  than  in  England  during  May),  had  its  effect. 
The  safe  arrival  of  Jane  with  my  darlings,  all  better  than 
I  had  hoped  for,  did  me  a  world  of  good.     *     *     «     * 

I  assure  you  sincerely  as  to  my  personal  feelings,  with 
a  decent  state  of  health  I  could  be  very  happy  and  con- 
tented ;  the  presence  of  a  very  few  friends  would  make 


76        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

my  comfort  complete.  But  I  now  suffer  mentally,  because 
my  health  will  not  keep  pace  with  me.  I  have  at  last  re- 
luctantly called  in  medical  aid ;  the  whole  system  here 
seems  based  on  Sangrado's  practice,  bleeding,  blistering, 
and  drastics.  I  had  the  prudence  to  mitigate  his  prescrip- 
tions, which  in  the  proportion  of  two-thirds  almost  made 
me  fjiint  away.  They  do  not  I'ecognise  our  practice  here, 
or  I  could  doctor  myself.  But  according  to  Sir  F.  Head 
in  "The  Brunncns,"  Germans  require  horse  medicines. 
I  think  I  never  in  my  life  felt  such  a  prostration  of  physi- 
cal power,  I  can  hardly  get  up  a  laugh,  and  am  quite  out 
of  humour  with  myself.  If  I  were  Dick  Curtis  I  could 
give  myself  a  good  licking,  I  mean  my  body,  for  not 
being  more  true  to  me.  The  "  Athenjeum  "  has  been  a 
great  delight  to  me  —  it  costs  me  here  only  two  groschen, 
about  two  pence.  Is  it  not  singular  that  a  fortnight  ago, 
as  the  only  exception  to  the  rule,  it  cost  me  four  or  five 
groschen.  I  understand  that  througliout  the  lihine,  every- 
thing witiiin  the  last  two  years  has  risen  nearly  fifty  per 
cent,  from  the  great  influx  of  English.  Notwithstanding 
this,  many  of  the  necessaries  arc  very  good  and  cheap, 
butter,  bread,  &c.  I  am  going  to  make  a  calculation 
whether  home  cookery  will  not  be  the  cheapest,  though 
we  have  hitherto  dined  at  the  hotel,  jwtir  voir  le  monde. 
I  have  bouglit  some  brandy  here  very  good,  (hough  it  is 
rather  scarce,  bottles  included  2s.  6c?.  each,  and  some 
Oberwescl  wine,  something  between  Hock  and  ]Mosollo, 
Is.  a  bottle.  I  have  got  Jane  some  bottled  Bavarian 
beer,  which  is  very  good.  Butter  is  8rf.  per  pound,  three 
rolls  Id.,  and  eggs  about  2^d.  a  dozen. 

I  was  going  to  resume  tliis,  but  was  prevented  by  what 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        77 

soldiers  call  a  night-attack.  On  going  to  bed  I  was  seized 
with  violent  spasms  in  the  chest,  which  after  some  time 
compelled  me  to  send  for  the  Dr.  at  midnight.  I  could 
only  breathe  when  bolt  upright,  and  rarely  then  at  the 
expense  of  intense  pain ;  I  thought  every  breath  would 
be  the  last.  My  Dr.  certainly  does  me  good,  and,  though 
a  Jew,  does  not  repeat  his  visits  unnecessarily,  but  "  waits 
till  called  for ; "  he  talks  a  little  English,  and  as  Pope 
says  I  feel  assured,  "a  little  learning  is  a  dangerous 
thing." 

Jane  said  to  him,  "  I  wish  you  could  give  to  Mr.  Hood 
some  strengthening  medicine ;"  to  which  he  replied, 
"  Who  is  that  physician  you  speak  of.'* "  But  a  more 
whimsical  mistake  arose  out  of  my  lay-up,  which  I  must 
give  you  dramatically.  Our  servant  knows  a  few  words 
of  English  too,  her  name  is  Gradle,  the  short  for  Marga- 
ret. Jane  wanted  a  fowl  to  boil  for  me.  Now  she  has  a 
theory  that  the  more  she  makes  her  English  un-English, 
the  more  it  must  be  like  German.  Jane  begins  by  show- 
ing Gradle  a  word  in  the  dictionary. 

Gradle.     "Ja!  yees  —  hiihn  —  henne — ja!  yees." 

Jane  (a  little  through  her  nose).  "  Ilmn  —  hum  — 
hem  —  yes  —  yaw,  ken  you  geet  a  fowl  —  fool  —  foal,  to 
boil  —  bile  —  bole  for  dinner  ?  " 

Gradle.     "  Hot  wasser  ?  " 

Jane.  "Yaw  in  pit  —  pat  —  pot  —  hmn  —  hum  — 
eh ! " 

Gradle  (a  little  off  the  scent  again).  "Ja,  nein  — 
wasser,  pot  —  hot  —  nein." 

Jane.  "  Yes  —  no  —  good  to  eeat  —  chicken  —  check- 
en  —  checking  —  choking — bird  —  bard  —  beard  —  lays 


78        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

e22s  —  eesjrs  —  hune,  heine  —  hin  —  make  cheekin  broth 

—  soup  —  poultry  —  peltry  —  paltry  !  " 

Gradle  (quite  at  fault).  "  Pfeltrighclitch  !  —  nein." 
Jane  (in  despair).  "  What  shall  I  do !  and  Hood 
won't  help  me,  he  only  laughs.  This  comes  of  leaving 
England ! "  (She  casts  her  eyes  across  the  street  at  the 
Governor's  poultry-yard,  and  a  bright  thought  strikes 
her.)     "  Here,  Gradle  —  come  here  —  comb  hair  —  hmn 

—  hum  —  look   there  —  dare  —  you  see   things  walking 

—  hmn,  hum,  wacking  about — things  with  feathers  — 
fathers  —  feethers." 

Gradle  (hitting  it  off  again).  "Feethers  —  faders  — 
ah  hah!  fcdders — ja,  ja,  yees,  sie  bi'ingen — fedders, 
ja,  ja ! " 

Jane  echoes  "  Fedders  —  yes  —  yaw,  yaw  ! " 

Exit  Gradle,  and  after  three-quarters  of  an  hour,  re- 
turns triumphantly  with  two  bundles  of  stationer's 
quills !  !  !     This  is  a  fact,  and  will  do  for  Twig. 

*  *  *  *  I  will  now  write  as  well  as  I  can  a 
descrii)tion,  which  may  serve  to  extract  for  the  "  Athc- 
na2um."  The  bound  volumes  were,  though  only  a  Dilke- 
send,  like  a  God-send.  You  cannot  think  how  well  they 
read  here,  where  there  is  nothing  else  to  read.  There's 
a  compliment  for  you,  worthy  of  our  Irishman.  On  the 
first  of  May  here,  when  I  was  wondering  what  would 
replace  the  ro;<«t^elays  of  the  London  sweeps,  the  defi- 
ciency was  kindly  supplied  by  a  whirlwind,  whicli  made 
a  great  many  sundries  dance  in  its  vortex.  I  was  gaz- 
ing from  the  window  of  the  Belle  Vue  Hotel  opposite 
the  bridge,  when  ray  attention  was  excited  by  a  great 
cloud  of  German  dust,  waltzing  after  the  German  fash- 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        79 

ion,  to  the  great  embarrassment  of  some  untaught  crows 
or  rooks,  who  were  flapping  about  quite  bewildered  in  its 
mazes.  It  came  from  the  direction  where  the  Moselle 
mingles  with  the  Rhine.  The  dust  cleared  off  in  about 
a  minute,  and  the  whirlwind  itself  became  distinctly 
visible,  travelling  diagonally  aci'oss  the  Rhine,  at  a 
leisurely  pace,  and  showing  to  great  advantage  against 
the  rock  of  Ehrenbreitstein,  at  that  time  bright  with  a 
gleam  of  sun,  and  strongly  brought  out  by  a  mass  of  ink- 
black  clouds  ;  of  a  grey  colour  —  slender,  of  equal  width 
throughout  —  bellying  before  the  wind,  with  a  curve 
equal  to  that  of  the  longest  kite-string,  and  moreover 
towards  the  top,  serpentining  in  three  or  four  undulations, 
as  if  from  various  currents  of  air.  The  phenomenon 
presented  the  appearance  of  a  narrow  but  long  ribbon 
let  down  from  the  clouds.  It  apparently  rose  to  a  great 
height  —  I  should  guess  a  mile  —  and  terminated  above 
in  a  sort  of  ragged  funnel  of  scarcely  twice  the  diame- 
ter of  the  tube.  I  could  not  detect  any  circular  motion  ; 
in  fact,  I  repeat,  it  looked  like  a  ribbon.  On  reaching 
the  opposite  side  of  the  river  it  raised  a  surge  on  the 
bank,  as  well  as  a  wash  of  linen  which  lay  there,  and 
which,  after  a  few  pirouettes,  disappeared  —  of  course  it 
got  a  good  wringing.  I  have  since  learned  that  it  also 
made  free  with  some  skins  from  the  leather  manufactory 
situated  near  the  Moselle,  and  carried  them  almost  to 
Ems  —  I  suppose  to  be  cured.  The  whirlwind  itself 
disappeared  between  Ehrenbreitstein  and  its  neighbour- 
ing  height,  following  apparently  the  road  to  the  baths,  as 
if  to  get  rid  of  its  dust. 

But  mark  the  truth  of  the  proverb  "one  good  turn 


80        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

deserves  another,"  the  first  had  scarcely  vanished,  when 
looking  U2)ward5:,  I  discerned  overhead  a  second,  but 
parallel  with  the  earth,  in  the  shape  of  a  long  black 
cloud,  slowly  revolving,  and  pointing  in  the  direction 
which  its  predecessor  had  travelled  over.  It  had  the 
wind,  as  the  sailors  say,  right  fore  and  aft,  and  was  some- 
what shorter  and  lustier  than  the  vertical  one,  ending  ob- 
tusely towards  the  wind ;  but  at  the  other,  terminating  iu 
a  long  fine  point !  I  could  not  help  exclaiming  as  I  saw 
it,  "  there's  a  screw  loose  in  the  sky ! "  for  which  even  the 
Germans  who  knew  English  were  little  the  wiser. 

In  expectation  of  seeing  you  this  summer  I  have 
made  a  rough  sketch  of  the  thing,  however  incompetent, 
for  a  whirlwind  especially  demands  a  Turner. 

My  illness  has  been  a  sad  hindrance  to  me  in  the 
"  Comic,"  as  to  the  executive,  but  I  have  collected  some 
materials.  I  think  I  can  hit  off  a  few  sketches  like 
Head's  as  to  the  Germans.  I  have  seen  many  funny 
things  here. 

Jane  is  evidently  much  better,  and  has  walked  up  the 
hill  to  Ehrenbreitstein  ;  and  the  children,  thank  God, 
thrive  apace.  The  baby,  Tom  junior,  has  been  vacci- 
nated according  to  law  here ;  he  gets  on  well  and  is  very 
good,  giving  as  little  trouble  as  a  baby  can.  Fanny  sel- 
dom walks  out  but  with  some  little  Germans  walking 
parallel  before  and  after,  and  wondering  at  her  to  her 
great  amusement.  She  is  quite  a  model  here,  for 
*'  strange  yet  true  it  is,"  all  the  children  here  are  bandy- 
legged !  You  never  saw  such  a  set  of  legs  as  go  to 
school  daily  down  our  street.  But  the  people  here  are 
very  stupid ;  mere  animals ;    they   take   no   interest  in 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  81 

Science,  Literature,  Politics,  or  anything  I  can  find,  but 
eating  and  drinking. 

The  "  Athenasura,"  wliich  I  one  day  read  at  the  table 
d'hote  before  dinner,  has  I  fear  stamped  me  a  pedant. 
Pray  did  you  ever  taste  "  Mai  Drank  "  or  May  Drink  ; 
if  not,  you  have  a  pleasure  to  come.  I  look  forward  to 
your  advent  with  great  joy,  and  hope  some  of  you  at 
least  may  come.  For  my  own  part,  if  God  would  but 
grant  me  a  stomach,  I  have  heart  enough  to  stay  here  a 
couple  of  years.  I  only  want  health  and  strength.  But 
those  will  come  and  the  rest  with  them. 

Thanks  to  Dr.  B ,  who  acted  as  dragoman  or  in- 
terpreter, Jane  has  got  her  fowls  at  last !  Only  an  old 
woman  brought  them  alive  and  crowing  !  It  so  happened 
that  to-day  two  hens  have  appeared  for  the  first  time,  and 
the  moment  Jane  saw  them  she  thought  we  were  still  at 
fault,  and  that  we  were  supposed  to  want  to  keep  fowls. 
But  the  real  ones  have  come  home  at  last,  dead  and 
plucked,  and  we  have  hopes  of  one  to-morrow,  having 
been  three  days  in  getting  it. 

Oh  !  how  I  wish  I  wrote  for  A.  K.  Newman,  and 
lived  near  Leadenhall  Market !  Mon  perruque  !  how 
we  are  to  get  it  boiled  is  a  mystery  yet  unsolved.  I 
guess  Jane  or  I  must  just  parboil  ourselves  by  way  of 
making  signs.  I  only  wonder,  in  my  illness,  when  Jane 
sent  for  a  doctor,  Gradle  did  not  bring  me  a  bootmaker  ! 
But  as  Jane  says,  "  there  is  a  cherub  up  aloft  for  us." 

I  dined  to-day  on  bread  and  Swiss  cheese.  I  have  no 
appetite,  and  German  cookery  is  "  rank  —  it  smells  to 
heaven  !  "  Salt  fish  they  wasii  till  it  is  fresh,  and  what 
is  fresh  they  just  make  sour  enough  for  you  to  think  it  is 

i*  F 


82  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

turned.  "What  ought  to  be  sour  —  pickled  walnuts  — 
are  sweet,  tasting  of  cloves,  —  you  never  know  where 
to  have  'em  ! 


There  are  but  few  roofs  in  England  under  which 
my  thoughts  find  a  pleasant  resting-place.  So  Coblenz 
would  be  a  sort  of  Noah's  Ark  to  me,  but  for  the  olive 
branch  at  9,  Lower  Grosvenor  Place.  Jane  sends  her 
love  to  ]Mrs.  Dilke  and  will  write  by  the  next  post. 
News  is  scarce  here  both  ways.  A  raft  the  other  day 
carried  away  part  of  the  bridge  about  half  a  mile  ;  and 
though  the  Rhine  is  not  so  rapid  now,  they  were  about 
forty  hours  getting  it  back  again  !  No  great  credit  to 
their  mechanical  powers.  God  bless  you  all,  if  the  ben- 
ediction from  an  Anti-Agnewite  be  worth  having.  Kind 
regards  to  all  friends.  Rogers's  Reminiscences  to  every 
one  who  cares  to  remember, 

My  dear  Dilke, 

Yours  ever  faithfully, 

T.  Hood. 

19//*  May,  1835. 

My  dear  Dilke, 
I  did  not  expect  to  write  to  you  again  so  soon,  but 
having  to  send  the  above,  I  do  so. 


I  have  had  a  fresh  attack  of  the  spasms, —  scarcely 
80  severe  as  the  first,  but  longer ;  they  have  left  me  so 
weak  I  can  hardly  walk.     But  the  weather  is  favoura- 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  93 

lile,  and  I  try  to  get  out,  and  take  exercise  and  fight  it 
off.  The  worst  is  over  I  think  now,  but  it  has  been  a 
sad  hindrance  to  me.  Next  month  we  are  coinjr  to  alter 
our  arrangements,  and  dine  at  home ;  with  our  own 
kitchen,  &c.,  it  will  be  much  better  and  cheaper,  and 
these  one  o'clock  table  d'hote  dinners  cut  up  my  morn- 
ings terribly.  Thank  God  !  Jane  appears  to  get  on  in 
her  health  as  well  as  her  fatigues  will  let  her,  and 
Fanny  is  hearty  and  happy.  But  the  babe  is  necessarily 
poorly  from  vaccination  —  he  thrives  otherwise  famously. 
The  air  here  seems  very  good  and  pure,  and  the  coun- 
try is  beautiful  now  with  the  spring  greens.  We  have 
heard  the  nightingale  once,  singing  beautifully.  Neither 
the  Rhine  nor  Moselle,  however,  is  very  blue  yet,  — 
mud-colour  rather,  we  have  had  so  much  wind  and  wet ; 
but  the  "  arrowy  river  "  is  fine  anyway ;  what  a  rush  it 
makes,  as  if  there  were  something  very  good  at  the  end 
of  its  course  :  here  I  could  moralise,  but  I  won't.  I 
am  washy  and  spiritless,  and  should  degenerate  into 
twaddle. 

The  "Athenaeum,"  by  special  request,  when  I  have 
done  with  it,  goes  to  the  Hotel,  for  the  benefit  of  the 
English  who  come  there.  They  are  not  numerous  yet, 
but  must  be  coming,  when  they  do  come,  in  shoals.  I 
was  diverted  with  one  young  fellow  who  came  up  to  go 
to  some  clerkship  at  Mayence,  a  true  Cockney.  He 
thought  his  "  dampschiffe  "  billet  was  a  passport,  so  left 
the  latter  at  Cologne,  and  came  on  here.  He  got  me  to 
explain  the  money  to  him,  and  after  all  was  done,  ox- 
claimed  in  a  real  IJow-bcll  voice :  "•  Well,  arter  all, 
there's  no  place  like  Lonnon  ! " 


84        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

I  also  met  at  a  shop  here  with  a  Parisian  cockney  — 
of  whom  I  shall  make  a  sketch  a  la  Sterne  —  a  cobbler's 
boy !  He  told  me  he  came  from  Paris  several  times ; 
asked  me  whence  I  came,  — "  from  London."  "  Ah, 
Monsieur,  est-il  pres  de  Paris  ?  " 

Pray  tell  Mrs.  Dilke  one  of  the  last  little  table  dis- 
plays I  have  seen  here.  At  the  table  d'hote,  the  English 
are  fond  of  copying  foreign  customs  and  manners.  First 
pull  out  the  crumb  of  your  roll,  about  half  of  which  roll 
up,  and  work  between  your  fingers  (if  snuffy  the  better) 
into  little  balls  as  big  as  marbles.  They  will  not  look 
exactly  like  Wordsworth's  "  White  Dough,"  but  rather 
dirty  putty.  When  you  have  used  your  quill  toothpick, 
stick  it  np,  bolt  upright,  in  one  of  these  dirty  balls,  a 
little  flattened  beneath,  as  you  may  have  seen  candles 
stuck  in  extempore  clay  candlesticks  at  an  illumination. 
Should  it  (the  toothpick)  want  cleaning,  furbish  it  up 
with  one  of  the  other  dirty  bread  balls ;  then  it  will  be 
ready  for  further  use !  This  I  should  think  a  very  polite 
piece  of  manners,  for  I  had  it  from  a  gentleman  wlio 
wears  a  black  velvet  great  coat  and  a  ribbon  at  his 
button-hole,  and  who  evidently  does  not  think  small  beer 
of  himself,  or  vin  ordinaire,  as  I  ought  to  say  here. 
Mind,  don't  extract  this  in  the  "  Athenaeum  "  or  'twill  be 
recognised.  It  is  dangerous  writing  to  the  editor  of  a 
paper  so  in  want  of  original  extracts  !  Shall  I  write 
you  weekly  a  foreign  letter  here,  as  your  correspondent 
from  i\Iimi(  h  ?  There  are  no  fine  arts,  or  literature,  or 
scientifics  or  jmlitics  here,  but  I  can  make  them.  Have 
you  heard  of  our  young  sculptor,  Iloche?  his  group  of 
Goethe  supported  in  the  arms  of  Charlotte  and  Werther 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  85 

is  just  put  up,  but  the  pedestal  is  too  low.  Professor 
Swaltz's  "  Essay  on  the  Architecture  of  the  Catti  "  has 
made  a  great  sensation  here,  and  has  quite  filled  all 
mouths,  which  a  week  ago  were  occupied  with  the  project 
for  having  a  new  pump  in  the  Rhein  Strasse,  and  enclos- 
ing the  parade  with  posts  and  rails.  Nous  verrons.  In 
my  next,  I  shall  give  you  an  account  of  the  grand  pai-ty 
at  Prince  Pfaffi's,  &c.,  &c.,  &c.  I  could  make  you  a 
double  number  of  very  Foreign  intelligence.  Or  shall  I 
send  you  some  free  translations  from  the  Gei*man  ? 
They  translate  from  me,  and  I  ought  to  show  my  grati- 
tude. If  I  may  choose,  I  should  like  to  make  my  first 
experiment  on  Kant's  Transcendentalism.  I  have  been 
to  the  Hotel  of  an  evening,  and  got  a  good  notion  of 
German  philosophy,  —  perhaps  you  are  not  aware  that 
it  is  laid  on  with  pijyes,  like  the  gas  in  London  !  I  have 
tried  to  draw  some  of  them,  but  a  real  smoker  beats  the 
pencil.  It  is  a  mistake,  by  the  way,  to  say  "  he  is  smok- 
ing," he  is  not  active  but  passive,  —  "  being  smoked  !  " 
How  they  suck  their  pipes,  like  great  emblems  of  second 
childhood,  so  placid,  so  innocent,  so  unmeaning  I  "  Mild 
as  the  Moonbeam  !  " 


My  kindest  regards  to  Mrs.  Dilke  and  Wentworth,  and 
beheve  me  ever,  my  dear  Dilke, 

Yours  very  truly, 

Tuos.  Hood. 

Tiie  following  letter  was  addressed  to   Jolin    "W'light, 
Esq.,  of  the  firm  of  Wright  and  Folkard,  wood  engravei'3 


86  MEMOrJALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

of  Fenchurch  Street.  This  gentleman  undertook  the 
arrangement  of  the  "  Comic"  during  my  father's  absence, 
correcting  the  proofs,  and  superintending  the  more  me- 
chanical part  of  the  work. 

372,  Castor  Hof,  Codlenz,  Sept.  12tk,  1835. 
My   DEAR    WUIGHT, 

You  will  be  glad  to  hear  that  I  cannot  write  at  great 
length  to  you,  because  I  am  busy,  and  able  to  be  busy. 
You  may  imagine  what  a  delight  it  was  to  us  to  see  the 
Elliots,  —  they  are  so  very  kind  and  friendly.  Besides, 
it  was  a  comfort  to  have  his  opinion  about  me,  though  I 
am  much  better.  I  almost  growl  at  feeding-time  if  the 
dinner  is  not  ready.  We  dine  at  a  very  genteel  hour  — 
two  o'clock — which  is  also  the  Governor's  time.  The 
universal  people  take  it  at  one.  But  I  find  the  differ- 
ence more  striking  mentally  than  corporeally  even ;  and 
ideas  now  come  of  themselves  without  being  laboured  for 
—  and  171  vain.  In  fact,  I  know  that  I  have  a  mind,  or 
according  to  the  famous  form,  "  Cogito,  ergo  sum."  I 
believe  that 's  something  like  the  Latin  for  it,  but  I  for- 
get, for  I  had  a  Latin  prize  at  school !  As  I  find  a  pos- 
itive pleasure  in  the  power,  its  exercise  must  be  equally 
pleasant,  and  I  think  I  shall  get  on  rapidly ;  indeed,  some 
evenings  I  have  been  quite  delighted  with  my  compara- 
tive fertility  of  thought.  I  have  got  some  good  stories, 
or  hints  for  stories,  from  De  Franck,  whose  loss  I  fear  T 
shall  shortly  have  to  regret,  for  I  really  like  him.      IIow 

odd  his  knowing   C and   11.   D ;    there   must 

liave  been  some  mysterious  animal  magnetism  in  his  ac- 
costing me.     A  joke  with  him  has  led  to  my  writing  a 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        37 

poem  of  some  700  lines,  which  you  will  soon  receive. 
My  own  impression  is,  if  good  enough  for  the  "  Comic," 
it  had  better  be  there  to  advance  ;  but  consult  with  Dilke, 
who  will  judge  better  than  I  can.  I  have  been  so  unwell, 
I  am  down,  and  diffident  as  to  what  I  do.  I  shall  have 
some  more  Sketches  on  the  Road,  and  some  German  sto- 
ries, so  I  have  not  been  quite  idle  even  in  bed.  I  did 
hope  to  be  earlier  this  year,  but,  as  all  philosophers  must 
say  when  it  comes  to  be  impossible,  "  it  can't  be  helped." 
I  am  only  too  happy  to  exclaim,  like  the  poor  scullion  in 
"  Tristram  Shandy,"  "  I  'm  alive."  But  some  day  I  hope 
to  make  my  account  even  with  the  storm  ;  for  there  were 
some  Eugene  Aram-like  verses  rambled  through  my 
brain  as  I  lay  for  the  first  night  alone  here  —  I  believe  a 
trifle  delirious  —  but  I  remember  somethino;  of  their  ten- 
our,  and  I  have  a  storm  by  me  to  work  them  up  with. 
You  see  I  am  cutting  out  work  for  the  winter.  I  went, 
the  day  the  Elliots  left,  to  Metternich,  and  in  a  wood  at 
the  top  of  a  hill  I  found  a  large  patch  of  wild  purple  cro- 
cuses in  full  bloom.  I  suppose  they,  too,  had  suflfered  a 
storm,  and  could  not  bud  as  they  ought  to  have  done  in 
the  spring.  To-morrow  I  dine  on  game  !  —  "  Think  of 
that.  Master  Brooke  !  "  for  it  will  make  me  think  of  you. 
I  am  sorry  about  Gilston  Park.  It  would  have  turned 
all  my  hares  white  in  one  night,  and  then  such  a  herd  of 
deers.  I  have  only  three  here,  Jane,  Fanny,  and  Tom  ; 
but  tliey  make  a  strong  ring-fence  about  me.  AVhat  a 
lot  of  Tremaines  lie  must  write  to  crct  it  back  ajrain.  We 
authors  are  an  unlucky  set  —  freehold,  copyhold,  or  copy- 
right I 

Kind  regards  to  all.     God  bless  you,  and  send  you 


88  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

bright  days,  that  we  may  meet  in  1855  like  two  Roths- 
children  just  come  of  age  and  into  our  fortunes. 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Thomas  Hood. 

P.  S.  —  "Vallnuts*  is  in,  and  thrippins  an  underd, 
and  will  be  lowerer ! "     Think  of  that ! 

In  the  latter  part  of  September,  or  beginning  of  Octo- 
ber, our  friend  left  with  his  regiment  for  Posen,  and  the 
following  letter  was  written  by  my  father  as  if  to  himself 
from  M.  de  Franck,  as  a  quiz  upon  the  bad  memory  of 
the  latter.  It  is  a  curious  jumble  of  wilful  mistakes,  and 
the  changes  are  rung  through  every  variety  that  can  be 
thought  of. 

Posen,  October  SOth,  1835. 
My  dear  Mr.  Wood, 

Tlie  departure  of  a  friend  for  Coblenz  affords  me  an 
opportmiity  of  which  I  avail  myself  with  much  pleasure, 
and  especially  as  it  enables  me  to  prove,  in  spite  of  your 
facetious  hints  of  my  inconstancy,  that  I  am  not  unmind- 
ful of  my  absent  friends.  On  the  contrary,  I  assure  you 
that  on  our  march  hither  my  thoughts  often  wandered 
back  to  Coblenz,  and  rested  on  you  and  your  amiable 
wife  and  interesting  family.  Nay,  although  I  am  now 
quartered  in  a  city  of  infinitely  more  bustle  and  gaiety, 

*  My  father  liad  a  groat  fondness  for  nuts,  wliicli  his  doctors  were 
very  loth  to  allow  him.  On  one  occasion  my  mother  kejit  a  quantity 
of  them  in  a  chilToMnier,  and  used  to  loek  the  door  tliat  ho  might  not 
get  too  many.  He  committed  an  amiable  amateur  larceny  by  taking 
out  the  drawer,  and  fishing  the  nuts  out  of  the  cupboard  tlu'ough  tlio 
aperture.  —  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        89 

and  have  besides  more  multifarious  military  duties,  still  I 
can  honestly  declare,  as  this  letter  is  a  proof,  that,  in  spite 
of  such  numerous  avocations  and  distractions,  my  memory 
has  never  failed  to  recur  to  the  many  pleasant  evenings  I 
passed  at  your  apartments  in  the  Rhein  Strasse.  Indeed, 
I  may  almost  say  that  I  find  Posen  itself  rather  dull  for 
want  of  such  hours  and  companionship,  and  especially 
that  of  your  lively  little  girl,  whose  remarks  used  to 
please  me  so  very  much.  I  never  hear  the  name  of  Ma- 
ria [Georgiana]  but  I  think  of  her  and  her  merry  dark 
eyes,  not  forgetting  her  little  brother  Peter  [William]. 
Sometimes  I  wonder  whether  Lina  (you  see  I  do  not  for- 
get any  one)  gets  more  intelligible  to  her  mistress,  and  I 
often  wish  my  German  could  be  again  tasked  to  interpret 
between  her  and  Mrs.  Good.  These  ai'e  delightful  remi- 
niscences to  me,  and  I  shall  cherish  them  to  the  last 
moment  of  my  life.  Let  time  rob  me  of  what  it  may,  it 
can  never  efface  these  traces  of  real  friendship  —  even  if 
I  did  not  possess  such  a  souvenir  to  remind  me  of  you  as 
the  "  Comic  Manual"  ["  Chemical  Annals"],  which  you 
were  so  kind  as  to  present  to  me  as  a  keepsake.  I  as- 
sure you,  my  dear  Mr.  Woodthorpe,  I  value  it  very 
much,  and  I  did  not  forget  it,  and  leave  it  behind  me  at  a 
little  wine-house  on  the  right-hand  side  of  the  road  be- 
tween Pfalfendorf  and  Ilocheim.  The  landlord's  name, 
I  think,  was  Steibel.  Your  story  about  "  Was  the  other 
Dead  Man  a  Beggar  ?  "  runs  in  my  head  as  much  as  ever, 
and  often  sets  me  thinking  of  you ;  which  always  ends  in 
the  wish  that  I  could  say  here  to  my  servant,  as  I  used 
when  I  was  quartered  at  Ehrenbreitstein,  "  I  am  going 
to  Mr.  Blood's ! "     Even  Juno  seems  to  miss  your  indul- 


90  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

gence ;  she  looks  melancholy,  and,  I  dare  say,  longs  in 
her  heart  to  have  another  romp  with  your  little  boy,  or  a 
race  with  Miss  Sarah  round  your  garden.  Poor  Juno ! 
I  never  take  a  walk  with  her  of  an  evening  without  re- 
grets at  our  separation.  I  assure  you  I  have  marked  as 
a  lucky  day  in  my  calendar  the  one  on  which  I  first  met 
yourself,  Mrs.  Woodroffe,  and  little  Margaret,  on  the 
banks  of  the  Rhine.  I  can  only  comfort  myself  with  the 
hope  that  I  am  allowed  to  live  in  your  remembrances  as 
you  do  in  mine :  in  my  mind's  eye  I  see  you  all  plainly 
at  this  moment,  seated  in  that  little  room  which  looks  on 
the  Mosel  bridge.  As  for  little  Caroline,  I  picture  her, 
of  course,  surrounded  with  her  dolls,  or  playing  with  her 
old  favourite  cart  and  horse.  1  suppose,  by  this  time, 
through  running  about  under  a  German  sun,  her  little 
brother  is  as  brown  as  she  is ;  but  there  is  no  harm  in 
that,  for  one  is  not  very  solicitous  about  having  fair  boys. 
If  my  memory  serves  me,  the  complexion  of  her  other 
brother  was  very  dark.  It  is  very  singular,  but  when  I 
arrived  at  Posen,  I  did  not  find  any  old  friends.  You 
will  say,  of  course,  that  I  had  forgotten  them  ;  but  I  will 
leave  my  defence  to  Mrs.  Wedgwood,  who  used  to  stand 
my  friend  in  such  cases  when  you  ran  me  so  hard,  and 
promised  me  a  shce  of  bread  and  butter  for  a  keepsake. 
The  faithfulness  and  minuteness  of  my  recollections  in 
this  letter  ought  also  to  speak  for  me.  I  can  only  say,  if 
it  should  please  Fortune,  even  twenty  years  hence,  to 
throw  us  again  together,  you  will  liiid  that  neither  your 
features  nor  the  name  of  Woodley  have  escaped  my 
memory,  which  was  always  reckoned  a  very  good  one. 
But  we  bIuiU  meet,  I  trust,  in  a  nmch  shorter  interval 


ilEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  91 

than  a  score  of  years.  I  am  tantalised  here  sometimes 
with  rumours  of  our  returning  to  Coblenz  early  in  next 
spring.  Should  we  do  so,  I  suppose  I  shall  hardly  know 
Miss  Flora  again,  for  by  that  time  her  pretty  black  hair 
will  be  long  enough  to  tie  into  tails,  as  the  German  little 
girls  dress  their  heads.     Pray  give  my  love  to  her,  and 

ask  her  if  she  remembers  Lieut,  von  F^ and  his  dog 

Juno.  There  is  a  little  girl  here,  thirteen  or  fourteen 
years  old,  just  about  her  height  of  figure,  and  talking  a 
little  French  also,  who  reminds  me  vividly  of  my  little 
friend  in  Coblenz.  She  has  the  same  black  eyes  and 
hair,  and  is  equally  fond  of  skipping-rope  and  swinging. 
If  I  remember  rightly,  those  were  little  Katherine's  fa- 
vourite pastimes. 

And  now  my  dear  Mr.  Goodenough  my  time  of  duty 
warns  me  to  conclude.  It  will  give  me  sincere  pleasure 
if  you  should  think  this  letter  worthy  of  a  return  in 
kind,  in  which  case  I  beg  you  will  be  particular  in 
giving  me  every  information  of  yourselves  and  your 
family.  Pray  take  care  of  your  health,  and  do  not 
neglect  my  advice  about  currents  of  air.  I  remember 
you  had  a  discoloration  under  the  eye  as  if  from  a  severe 
blow  througli  sitting  in  a  thorough  draught.  You  must 
not  prosecute  your  medical  [mathematical]  studies  too 
closely.  By  this  time  I  trust  Mrs.  "NVoodbridge  is  quite 
well,  and  has  no   further  occasion  for  the  services  of 

Dr.    B .     I  sincerely  hope    she   will  feel  no   more 

ill  effects  from  the  dreadful  storm  she  encountered  in 
coming  from  England.  Have  tlie  kindness  to  present 
my  respectful  regards  to  her,  with  my  best  wishes  for 
her  health  and  welfare,  and  a  happy  and   safe  retura 


92        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

in  due  time  to  Northamptonshire  [Scotland].  I  think 
jou  told  me  you  came  from  Edinburgh,  indeed  I  remem- 
ber you  had  the  Northern  accent,  which  no  doubt 
enabled  you  to  pronounce  the  German  so  correctly: 
Pray  give  my  love  to  Miss  Anne,  and  tell  her  I  hope 
she  does  not  neglect  her  pianoforte.  I  remember  all 
the  aii's  she  used  to  play  to  me.  Her  brothers,  I  fear, 
will  have  forgotten  me,  otherwise  I  should  desire  to 
be  named  to  them  with  kindness.  I  shall  eagerly  ex- 
pect every  post  to  hear  from  you ;  and  let  me  again 
beg  of  you  to  mention  every  one  belonging  to  you,  even 
your  dog.  You  could  not  offer  me  a  greater  gratifica- 
tion ;  and  if  little  Charlotte  would  add  a  P.  S.  in  her 
own  hand,  for  I  remember  she  wrote  very  well,  my 
pleasure  would  be  complete. 

Accept  my  kindest  regards  to  you  and  yours,  and 
pray  believe  me, 

My  dear  ]\Ir.  "Woodgate, 
Your  very  sincere  friend  and  well-wisher, 

Philip  de  Franck. 

P.  S.  I  shall  watch  the  newspapers  for  announcements 
of  your  new  works.  I  hope  that  some  day  you  will  pub- 
lish another  novel  like  your  Tilbury  House  [Hall]. 

To  James  Wood,  Esq.,  Coblcnz. 

372,  Castok  Hor,  Coblexz,  Nov.  Srd,  1835. 
My  dear  Wright, 
I  had  yours  with  great  delight,  for  I  was  very  anxious 
about  the  fate  of  my  box.     I  liave  made  some  incpiiry 
and  suspect  the  cause  of  the  delay  was  that  they  were 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  93 

things  never  sent  before  ;  and  that  when  examined  at  the 
fi-ontiers  between  Prussia  and  llolhvnd,  they  did  not 
know  what  to  do  or  to  charge.  I  think  such  a  delay  not 
likely  to  happen  again,  but  shall  take  every  precaution. 
I  had  declared  here  what  they  were,  and  will  in  future 
get  them  sealed  by  the  Douane  here  if  I  can.  Tlie  MS. 
I  will  send  post  after  post  as  I  write  it.  I  am  glad  what 
I  sent  made  so  much.  Before  this  you  will  have  found 
out  what  was  to  be  done.  *  *  *  j  ^n^  gj^d  you 
liked  Doppeldick.  If  I  can  only  travel  a  bit  in  the 
spring  hei'e  I  will  make  "  sich  a  Comic  as  never  vos." 
I  know  nobody  here  now  but  R ,  a  teacher  of  lan- 
guages, who  drops  in  every  Sunday.  Tlie  last  I  had 
such  a  long  palaver  with  him  in  French  ;  and  I  really 
believe  I  must  be  to  him  as  Horam  the  Son  of  Asmar, 
or  one  of  the  relaters  of  the  Arabian  Nijj-hts  —  thou<ih 
only  in  giving  him  an  account  of  England  —  of  which  he 
asks  me  such  questions  as  "  have  we  any  oaks  ?  "  almost 
if  "  we  have  any  sun  or  moon ! "  I  make  him  stare 
with  truths  sometimes.  And  though  he  is  polite  like  all 
foreigners  nearly,  he  almost  constantly  has  an  involun- 
tary shake  of  the  head. 


A  shopkeeper,  who  also  spoke  French,  one  of  the  few 
r  am  on  speaking  terms  with,  died  the  other  day  of 
"  nervous  fever,"  being  swelled  like  a  man  with  dropsy  ! 
Verily  I  have  no  faith  in  the  doctors  here  —  we  are  sure 
to  see  a  funeral  every  day  —  the  population  being  ordy 
20,000  including  troops.  I  heard  the  other  day  of  a 
man   having  J[f>iJ-fivc   leeches  on   his   thigli !     IMy  wig  ! 


94  JfEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

why  they  out-Saiigrado  Sangratlo  !  One  of  their  blisters 
would  draw  a  waggon.  If  I  should  be  ill  again  I  will 
prescribe  for  myself. 

I  will  conclude  with  a  Coblenz  picture.  Jane  in  bed, 
smothered  in  pillows  and  blankets,  suffering  from  a  terri- 
bly inflamed  eye.  In  rushes  our  maid,  and  without  any 
warning  suddenly  envelopes  her  head  in  a  baker's  meal- 
sack  hot  out  of  the  oven  !  prescribed  as  a  sudorific,  and 
the  best  thing  in  the  world  for  an  inflamed  eye,  by  the 
baker's  wife  (there's  nothing  like  leather!).  "What  be- 
tween the  suddenness  of  the  attack  and  her  strong  sense 
of  the  fun  of  the  thing,  Jane  lay  helplessly  laughing  for 
awhile  and  heard  Gradle  coax  off  the  children  witli 
"  Coom  schon  babie — coom  schone  Fannische  —  mama 
kranke  !  "  Encore  !  I  sent  a  pair  of  light  trousers 
which  were  spotted  with  ink  to  be  dyed  black ;  after  six 
weeks  they  came  back  like  a  jackdaw,  part  black,  part 
grey.  I  put  my  hands  in  the  pockets  like  an  English- 
man, and  they  came  out  like  an  African's.  I  think  seri- 
ously of  giving  them  to  a  chimney-sweep  who  goes  by 
here ;  full  grown,  long  nosed,  and  so  like  the  devil  I 
wonder  Fanny  has  never  dreamed  of  him.  There  were 
two  ;  but  the  other  was  stoved  to  death  the  other  day  at 
our  neighbour  the  general's.     They  lit  a  fire  under  him 

when  he  was     up.     Our  Dr.  B who  was   sent  for, 

told  me  gravely,  that  he  could  not  revive  him,  for  when 
he  came,  the  man  was  hlack  in  the  face  !  " 

I  forgot  to  tell  you  tliat  when  Gradle  first  proposed 
the  hot  flour  prescrijytion  of  the  baker's  wife,  Jane  had 
flattered  herself  that  it  was  only  a  little  paper  bag  of  hot 
flour ;  and  it  was  only  when  she  was  tucked  in  that  she 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  95 

be"-an  to  feel  what  a  cahe   she  was  !     I  wonder  what 
they  do  for  rheumatism  !     God  bless  you  ! 

Yours  ever  truly, 

T.  Hood. 

P.  S.  Fanny  sends  her  love,  "  not  forgetting  Jemmy 
and  Freddy,"  and  how  they  would  like  to  come  to  Cob- 
lenz  and  see  all  the  soldiers,  and  the  generals.  There  is 
a  man  of  the  general's  who  rides  upon  a  horse  with  a 
helmet  on  his  head.  I  can  almost  talk  German,  I  shall 
be  glad  to  come  back  to  England.  Tommy  has  grown 
and  is  very  fat.  He  has  two  sharp  teeth,  and  he  bites 
my  fingers  when  I  put  them  in  his  mouth.  I  am  very 
happy  here,  because  I  can  see  the  band  go  into  the  gen- 
eral's, I  can  say  how  many  months  make  a  year,  and 
how  many  weeks  make  a  month.  I  can  write  upon  my 
slate  A.  B.  C.  and  figures.  And  oh !  I  have  a  great 
house  for  my  dolls,  and  three  rooms  in  it !  and  I  can't 
say  any  more  for  my  head  aches,  and  I  have  a  great 
many  teapots  and  mugs,  and  I  have  got  a  cold,  and  a 
kitchen  !  Good  night,  and  love  to  you  and  Jemmy  and 
Freddy. 

"  All  of  this  stuff  is  Fanny's,  every  line, 
For  God's  sake,  reader,  take  them  not  for  mme  ! " 

CoBLENz,  Zlst  Dec,  1835. 
Mr  Di:\R  Wright, 
Your  letter  arrived  yesterday  evening  to  my  great  re- 
lief, for  I  began  to  get  very  anxious,  supposing  the  book 
would  be  published  on  the  loth,  and  feel  sure  I  siiall  be 
pleased  with  it,  when   I  see  it.     All  parties  appear  to 


96        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

have  done  their  best,  and  for  your  own  share  I  can  only 
say  that  I  feel  you  have  done  for  me,  as  I  would  for  you 
—  your  very  best ;  so  accept  my  best  thanks  accordingly. 
And  now,  what  will  you  think  of  those  abominable  three 
months'  old  letters  ?  up  to  this  very  hour  they  have  never 
come  to  hand. 

It  has  been  a  great  nuisance  to  us,  for  we  have  not 
written  to  any  one  in  the  daily  expectation  of  having 
something 'to  answer,  so  that  Dilke  and  I  for  exam- 
ple have  not  been  on  writing  terms  for  three  months, 
and  I  fear  many  things  I  had  to  tell  him  have  escaped 
me. 

To  estimate  our  expectations  and  disappointments,  yoa 
must  remember  we  are  here  as  in  a  sort  of  desert,  with 
one  friend,  De  Franck,  and  one  acquaintance  Kaniponi, 
the  language  master,  who  jabbers  French  with  me,  and 
every  now  and  then  a  fellow  with  an  orange  collar,  t.  e. 
a  postman,  comes  to  the  very  next  door.  And  now  you 
will  laugh  to  be  told  that  I  am  this  evening  going  with 
De  Franck  to  a  grand  ball  at  the  Casino,  where  will  be 
all  the  rank,  beauty,  and  fashion  of  Coblenz,  of  course 
not  to  dance,  but  at  De  Fi-anck's  advice,  who  says  that 
the  German  New  Year  ceremonies  are  worth  seeing,  and 
I  mean  to  see  all  I  can,  and  turn  it  to  account.  I  expect 
to  commit  myself  by  laugliing  aloud,  for  wlicii  the  clock 
strikes  twelve  I  shall  find  myself  all  of  a  sudden  the  only 
unkissed,  unembraced  individual  in  the  room ;  Franck 
dined  with  us  on  Christmas  day,  and  l)y  his  hclj)  in  the 
evening  we  had  a  pretty  German  celebration  to  tlie  high 
deliglit  of  Fanny;  but  tliereof  no  more,  as  we  hope  some 
day  to  introduce  it  in  England.    Our  weather  is  variable, 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  97 

Kenorally  frosty  -  «  have  a  littlo  while  had  cold  enough 
fna  1  reLn,  the  oil  fro.e  in  the  night  liglU  and  the  pound 
of  ttter  m  the  middle,  ^d  as  Katchen  made  a  puddmg 
in  ,be  kitchen  the  crust  froze.    The  Khme  and  the  Mo- 
selle are  full  of  ice,  and  the  bridge  hemg  taken  a«y, 
Inek  for  a  month  to  come  cannot  -T -*  -  ^^^;_    " 
than  nine  in  the  evening,  for  he  ,8  quartered  at  Ebren 
breitsteln  on  the  other  side,  and  must  boat  ,t  across.     He 
is  really  a  treasure  to  U8,  thoroughly  English  hnpresum- 
i,:  gen'tlcmaniy.  and  full  of  good  sense,  fond  of  a  joke 
wUbal.     Between  hinr   and  tl«  cluldren   .t  .s  qn,  c  a 
mutual  flame;   on   then:   side,  someUmes,  so  as  to 

'i:;:"  Ight  a^er  bis  long  absence  I  hung  him  up  in 
effl^y  a,  I  deserter,  and  he  came  in  and  found  Fanny 
crvln"  at  it  as  if  breaking  her  heart. 

^I  have  no  local  news  to  tell  you,  but  that  reeen  ly  a 
priest  at  Cologne  was  convicted  of  poisoning  a  man  from 
whom  be  bad  purchased  an  estate  w.thout  paymg  for  .t. 
He  is  supposed  to  have  given  one  or  two  tbe>r  vat.cum 

before  now^      thunder  and  lightning  waistcoat  is  come ! 

so  I  must  go  and  dress  for  the  ball.     To  you  who  know 

my  ;,.Jte  all  this  must  seem  very  funny  as  rt  does  to 

myself.     I  expect  to  be  highly  amused. 

Jane  is  going  to  curl  my  hair,  and  I  am  gomg  to  comb 
and  brush  it,  more  attention  altogether  than  ha.r  gener- 
ally gets  here.  I  drink,  in  a  glass  of  holiday  hock,  to 
you  and  all  friends,  wishing  many  new  years  tappier 
than  the  happiest  you  have  ever  known  or  unknown 
•T  is  pure  rich  juke  of  the  grapo,  would  you  could  t.ute 


VOL.   1. 


98        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

it,  the  worst  here,  at  3d.  a  bottle,  we  should  think  some- 
thing of  in  England. 

With  kind  regards  to  all,  yours  ever  sincerely, 

Thomas  Hood. 

The  following  amusing  letter  to  "Mrs.  Dilke  is  without 
date,  although  from  many  circumstances  it  was  evidently 
written  in  the  latter  part  of  1835. 

372,  Casx-him-off,  God  bless,  1835. 
My  dear  Mrs.  Dilke, 

I  write  to  you  instead  of  the  D because  I  am  sick 

of  him  as  a  correspondent :  as  a  countryman  of  Taylor's 
said,  "  who  would  go  out  with  a  fellow,  that  when  you 
fire  at  him  with  a  bkmderbuss  only  returns  it  with  a 
pocket-pistol  ? "  even  so  have  I  sent  Dilke  huge  letters 
full  and  crossed,  enough  to  drive  him  blind  and  stui)i(l, 
and  give  him  a  chronic  headache ;  and  what  does  he 
send  in  answer  but  a  little  letteret  that  cannot  do  any- 
body any  harm  ?  I  suppose  some  day  I  shall  come  to, 
"T.  II.  is  received"  at  the  fag  end  of  the  Athenaeum, 
amidst  the  mis-called  Answers  to  Correspondents. 

In  short,  I  resent,  as  people  resent  who  know  the 
world,  —  that  is,  cut  him  when  lie  is  making  advances. 
You  shall  have  this,  who  will  j)ut  it  amongst  the  haughty- 
graphs  you  are  most  proud  of,  instead  of  telling  me  coolly 
that  my  "  account  of  the  whirlwind  at  Eiuenbreitstcin, 
and  the  story  of  the  tooth-pick  you  had  mislaid,  and  had 
never  been  able  to  lay  your  hand  on  it  since."  It  is  long 
since  he  wrote  so  ;  but  I  can  harhotir  inaXicc.  quite  as  well 
as  INIargate  pier.     I  scorn  his  paltry  excuses  for  brevity 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.        99 

without  wit,  and  am  astonished  that  he  could  have  the 
face  to  plead  "the  disturbance  of  the  gentleman  over- 
head," whose  noise  he  confessedly  slept  through.  As  for 
his  cock  and  a  buU  about  "  Mr.  Pap,  who  was  burnt  at 
Nottingham,"  I  am  of  Jane's  nursery  opinion,  that 
"pap  "oughtn't   to   be   burnt,"  and  that   is  a  sufficient 

notice. 

Regarding  his  whole  'pistle,  in  reality  but  a  pocket 
'pistlet  candour  compels  me  to   say,  I  cannot  conceive 
how  any  man  alive  could  write  a  duUer,  "  with  Liston 
on  one  side  of  him,  and  :Miss  Kelly  on  the  other."     You 
see  I  do  not  spare  him ;  but  I  have  heard  that  in  Eng- 
land it  is  a  sort  of  genteel  flirtation   with  the  wife  to 
abuse  her  husband  to  her  face,  so  I  mean  to  go  my 
lengths.     Poor  dear  wretched  woman !  I  can  well  con- 
ceive your  perplexity  with  him  at  those  Kentish  cliffs, 
for  as  you  say  "  change  of  air  will  bring  out  any  com- 
plaint that  is  hanging  about."     I  can  fancy  him  com- 
plaining that  aU  the  chalk  was  not  cheese,  and  then  the 
cheese °not  all  rhine,  in  his  .megrims.     Editors,  as  you 
say,  are  but  bad  travelling  companions,  and  as  Taylor 
would  say,  they  are  but  bad  visitmg  companions,  or  be- 
fore this  he  would  have  left  his  card  at  least  at  our  door ; 
but  he  preferred  Iklargate,  and  I  can  only  say,  de  dis<jus- 

tibus,  &c. 

I  don't  wonder  you  "  prefer  divines,"  as  I  do,  espe- 
cially if  they  are  not  attached  to  any  particular  church 
or  chapel ;  in  token  of  which  I  last  week  gave  a  trifle  to 
two  Catholic  priests  towards  building  a  new  St.  Castor's  ; 
being  perfectly  persuaded  that  the  money  would  never 
be  a°pplied   to   its  ostensible   use.     I  hope  all   stitt"  and 


100  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

back-bone  Protestants  will  be  satisfied  with  this  my 
apology. 

They  were  very  modest,  and  would  take  anything 
they  could  get,  even  copper,  so  I  gave  them  a  very  small 
feather  for  the  tail  of  the  weather-cock. 

If  I  recollect  rightly  your  style  of  singing,  you  were 
also  in  favour  of"  tollol"eration  ;  besides  one  of  the  priests 
allowed  too  that  "  tons  les  hommes  sont  des  hommes," 
and  I  felt  obliged  to  pay  him  for  being  converted 
so  far  into  a  Protestant.  If  IMr.  Dilke  exerted  himself, 
he  might  get  me  a  missionary  stipend.  The  man's  a 
brute,  and  I  'U  prove  it  by  his  own  contrarieties ;  for  if, 
as  you  state,  his  only  wish  on  the  coast  was  to  "avoid 
the  sea,"  why  on  the  same  principle  of  logic  did  he  take 
you  with  him,  but  to  get  rid  of  you  ?  Jane  feels  for  you, 
and  so  do  I,  and  indeed  so  do  Fanny  and  Tom  when  you 
describe  taking  him  by  the  fin,  and  hauling  him  up  "  all 
along  the  shore  there  "  to  the  fish-market,  only  to  hoar 
him  complain  like  a  porpoise  on  land  that  he  couldn't 
"  get  enough  fish."  As  to  lugging  him  up  to  the  Fort, 
you  ought  to  have  recollected  how  little  your  own  piano- 
forte  used  to  interest  him. 

By  your  leave  what  you  did  with  him  was  an  error  of 
judgment ;  you  should  have  stuck  him  on  a  high  stool  at 
the  parlour  window,  and  made  him  pay  every  man  in  a 
blue  jacket  and  trousers,  one  and  threepence  ha'penny. 
Besides,  you  forget  his  travels.  Was  it  likely  that  a 
man  who  had  crossed  the  Simplon,  would  care  to  cross  a 
donkey  ?  or  that  he  who  had  seen  vSt.  Peter's  at  Rome, 
would  give  one  of  St.  Peter's  pence  to  see  St.  Peter's  in 
Thanet? 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  IQl 

You  must  have  forgotten  that  he  had  been  at  Venice, 
when  you  took  him  to  "  Snobs'  watering-place." 

To  get  him  into  plain  "yellow  shoes  and  a  pepper- 
and-salt  dressing  gown,"  must  have  been  a  mere  Mar- 
gate miracle  after  the  outlandish  nightcaps  with  no  hole 
to  'em,  but  like  tasselled  rainbows,  I  used  to  find  on  the 
pillow  of  the  spare  bed  at  number  nine.  Even  at  Cob- 
lenz,  here,  —  and  he  recommended  Coblenz,  —  a  plum- 
coloured  coat,  sky  blue  pantaloons,  and  a  waistcoat  of 
patchwork  in  silk  is  the  costume.  When  he  does  make 
a  holiday  in  future,  pray  make  him  look  more  like  an 
Editor,  that  is  to  say,  clothe  him  in  all  the  "  miscella- 
neous articles "  you  can  muster.  Judging  by  this  cos- 
tume, I  suspect  a  good  many  of  the  Germans  here  are 
editors,  and  that  accounts  for  Dilke  wandering  in  this 
direction.  But  you  will  do  well  to  egg  him  on  in  this 
fancy,  for  then,  next  year  I  may  see  you,  and  in  the  in- 
terim I  will  look  out  for  German  J.  C ,  S ,  and 

Mrs.  C to  meet  you,  —  not  forgetting  a  Mrs.  Pap, 

who  (Dilke  says  in  his  confidential  letter  to  me)  is  "  a 
very  sociable,  good-tempered  woman." 

I  am  sure  he  means  her,  though  he  cunningly  lays  it 
on  Mr.  P.  He  says,  "  Mrs.  Pap,  whose  husband  was 
burnt  at  Nottingham  —  the  latter  is  a  very  sociable,"  &c., 
&c.     But  don't  be  blinded  so  grossly. 

Thank  God  you  will  have  left  ere  this ;  a  little  longer 
and  you  would  perhaps  have  been  left,  like  Ariadne,  on 
the  shingles,  looking  at  your  husband  gone  ofi'  in  a  Paj)- 
boat. 

But"hcnufr  hov  'im,"  as  of  course  you  used  to  say 
at  Margate.     *     *     Tom,  Junior,  who  came  to  Cologne 


102  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

a  little  "shabby,  flabby,  dabby  babby,"  has  grown  a 
young  Kentuck,  who  can  lick  his  Either  —  as  hard  as 
nails,  and  as  brown  as  rusty  ones.  —  For  his  temper,  only 
fancy  mine  "  with  sugar."  So  unlike  Jane's  "  warm  with- 
out." Then  he  is  already  so  good  on  his  legs.  I  wonder 
he  ever  required  D.  "  to  stand  for  him,"  and  as  to  talking 
he  can  say  papa  when  he  likes.  I  have  no  doubt  he  only 
don't  cut  his  teeth  because  he  don't  choose.  In  bulk, 
he  is  really  a  double  number,  but  a  good  deal  more  amus- 
ing. 

His  love  for  Gradle  is  more  beautiful  than  its  object, 
for  she  is  like  a  plain  Chinese ;  but  he  will  know  better 
as  he  grows  up. 

Your  Godchild  is  well  and  very  good,  but  from  seeing 
processions,  &c.,  is  half  a  Catholic,  so  if  you  please,  you 
will  come  next  year,  and,  according  to  your  vows,  teach 
her  High  Church. 

I  think  we  could  make  you  very  comfortable,  —  at 
least  you  would  not  need  to  lie  in  bed  and  eat  split  peas,  as 
you  did  in  Paris.  Jane  can  cook  a  little.  She  had  the 
honour  of  making  the  first  pie  ever  seen  in  Coblenz,  and 
the  baker  so  admired  it  that  he  abstracted  half  the  con- 
tents—  greengages.  Gradle  can  cook  in  the  English 
style  too,  but  she  will  not  cat  what  she  has  so  cooked,  and 
yet  I  imagine  it  must  be  a  good  style,  for  a  poor  woman 
comes  for  "  the  broth  the  ham  was  boiled  in,"  but  Jane 
suspects  that  it  is  for  a  night-light, — being  nothing  but 
water  and  oil.  You  shall  try  it  when  you  come.  If  you 
liked  Tivoli,  we  have  dozens  of  such  tea-garden  places. 
Mozelweis,  Schonbornlustj  the  Salmiac  hut,  &c.,  &c.  I 
took  the  Elliots  to  the  first  by  moonlight,  and  gave  them 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD,  103 

punch,  but  nothing  to  eat  was  to  be  had  save  some  cold 
pUira-tart.  We  ai'e  not  too  refined  here  to  go  to  German 
Wiiite  Conduits  and  Bagnigge  Wellses.  In  the  garden 
of  Schbnbornlust  (which  reminded  me,  by  the  way,  of 
some  of  the  shrubberies  of  Lake  House),  we  saw  the 
lady  of  our  opposite  neighbour,  the  general  commander- 
in-chief  of  the  Rhenish  Provinces,  or  as  Fanny  calls 
her,  Mrs.  Generous  (pro  general). 

His  Excellency  is  much  taken  with  our  brats,  and 
often,  as  he  rides  by,  gives  Fanny  what  she  calls  a 
"  laughish  smile."  But  the  admiration  of  the  Castor 
Hof  is  Tom,  or  as  Fanny  says,  "  all  the  boys  that  trav- 
erse the  street  call  him  Timmus"  (she  got  the  fine  word 
out  of  the  lesson-book).  He  quite  takes  after  his  god- 
father Dilke,  in  eating  everything  he  can  get,  and  plenty 
of  it,  and  he  is  as  stout  accordingly  —  not  fat  but  solid. 

This  has  been  a  great  blessing,  and  altogether  we  are 
as  comfortable  as  need  be.  Our  lodgings  are  very  com- 
modious and  pleasant.  A  sketch  I  send  Dilke  will  show 
our  look  out  at  the  back :  and  we  have  a  tiny  kitchen  — 
but  it  does  —  it  does.  "We  shall  be  able  to  give  the 
EUiots  a  dinner  on  their  way  back. 

I  am  writing  in  a  little  study  with  a  bookcase  and  a 
sofa  in  it,  so  you  see  I  am  not  without  my  luxuries ; 
Fanny  has  a  little  bed-room  next  ours ;  Tom  has  regu 
larly  outgrown  his  cradle. 

Tliank  God,  Jane  and  I  have  stopped  growing,  for  as 
it  is  I  cannot  stretch  at  full  length  in  the  bed,  except 
diagonally,  because  of  the  head  and  foot  boards.  The 
Prussians  are  universally  shortish  and  the  beds  are  in 
proportion,  I  ought  to  call  them  cribs.     Ours  is  like  "  a 


104       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

coffin  for  two."  So  you  may  suppose  we  shall  have  no 
difficulty  in  finding  spare  beds  for  you  when  you  come. 
Dilke  must  sleep  upright  in  a  cupboard.  Mind  you  must 
not  expect  to  be  saluted  when  you  ai'rive ;  it  is  not  the 
fashion  here,  we  have  had  many  greater  personages  and 
they  did  not  get  a  single  gun.  Queen  of  Kaples,  Princess 
of  Beira,  Prince  Frederick  of  Prussia  —  not  a  pop  —  at 
last  came  the  King  of  Wiirtemberg,  and  as  nobody  else 
did,  he  saluted  himself  with  some  tiny  guns  from  his  own 
steamer. 

But  you  may  get  kissed  a  few ;  Lieutenant  Franck 
told  us  that  when  the  third  battalion  of  his  regiment 
came  here,  he  had  to  be  kissed  by  about  thirty  officers  of 
it.  It  was  a  very  droll  effect  to  see  these  moustached 
veterans  embracing  each  other,  like  boarding-school 
misses. 

Franck,  who  is  an  Englishman,  cannot  bear  it,  and 
unluckily  he  is  rather  short.  Allan  Cunningham  might 
escape  it.  I  saw  a  young  couple,  lovers  or  newly  mar- 
ried, kiss  on  separating  in  the  steamboat,  and,  after  going 
a  few  paces,  the  lady  turned  back  and  had  another  !  The 
gent  by  this  time  had  got  amongst  a  party  of  English,  for 
whom  the  scene  was  too  funny  to  withstand,  and  as  the 
lady's  "  second  thought "  took  effect  in  the  midst  of  us, 
we  all  burst  into  a  general  roar.  The  King  of  Prussia 
will  not  allow  his  officers  to  marry  unless,  independent  of 
pay,  the  couple  liave  between  them  about  180  per  an- 
num. I  have  some  thoughts  of  writing  a  pretty  little 
romance  on  the  subject,  —  only  fancy  the  distress  of  a 
pair  of  such  turtle-doves  £  5  short ! 

Imagine  them  getting  up  to  79,  and  then  the  captain 


MEMORIALS    OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  105 

obliged  to  sell  out  10s.  a  year  for  a  new  uniform.  Sitting 
in  the  stocks  can  be  but  a  flea-bite  to  it.  I  should  not 
like  to  be  a  father  with  money,  for  fear  Wilhelmina  or 
Charlotta  should  take  it  into  her  head  to  imitate  Miss 
Blandy. 

To  be  sure  the  king  has  some  right  to  look  after  the 
officers'  matches,  for  he  pays  their  debts,  (I  wish  I  was  in 
his  service,)  and  altogether  he  seems  to  be  very  kind  and 
considerate  towards  them.  What  I  hear  of  his  Majesty 
I  like,  and  am  therefore  pro  tempore  his  loyal  subject, 
and  drank  his  health  on  his  birthday.  Yesterday  we 
toasted  "  the  Snobs  "  in  Hocheim  wine,  it  only  costs  46?.  a 
bottle,  and  was  quite  good  enough  for  such  a  pledge.  I 
cannot  help  thinking  your  Margate  trip  has  a  little  let 
you  down,  and  you  will  want  a  jaunt  up  the  Rhine  to 
restore  you  to  gentility.  But  pray  cast  off  your  Marga- 
tory  manners  and  costume  ere  you  come.  One  night 
there  was  such  an  English  party  at  the  gardens  of  the 
Weissen  Ross,  that  Franck  in  horror  told  his  brother 
officers  they  were  French  people. 

"  It  warn't  hus,"  wc  are  among  the  respectables  at 
present,  and  one  comfort  is,  that  when  Jane  has  worn 
out  her  bonnet  and  all  her  caps,  if  we  can't  afford  new 
ones,  it 's  very  fashionable  for  ladies  to  go  bare-headed 
in  the  street. 

Then  for  me  a  blue  smock  frock  is  a  sort  of  sporting 
or  pedestrian  dress  for  gentlemen,  (and  though  I  can't 
walk  much,  or  shoot,  I  can  make  believe,)  when  I  have 
worn  out  my  best  brown  and  my  old  black. 

I  bought  a  cap  to  save  my  hat,  and  when  I  wear 
it,  I  am  so  thin  withal,  you  would  take  me  for  a  jockey 

5* 


106  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

who  had  been  overtrained.  But  I  hope  to  fill  up  again, 
for  I  am  going  to  dinner  with  an  appetite  far  sharper 
than  our  knives,  which  you  may  set  your  heart  upon 
without  hurting  it.  I  feel  quite  a  gourmand  now,  after 
going  for  months  without  dining,  indeed  it  appears  to 
have  been  a  joke  against  me  at  the  hotel,  that  I  went 
to  the  table-d'hote  not  to  eat. 

Now,  I  scold  so,  if  the  dinner  is  not  ready  at  two ! 
Jane  likes  nothing  less  than  to  hear  me  exclaim,  "  slow 
coach ! "  which  means  that  our  household  affaii's  are 
not  going  on  at  the  proper  pace. 

That  will  sometimes  happen,  for  plain  as  she  is, 
our  Gradle  has  a  lovyer  (perhaps  more),  and  goes  out 
gallivanting.  I  wonder  she  has  not  lost  him,  for  the 
departure  of  some  five  thousand  troops  to  the  reviews 
must  liave  left  many  of  the  Coblenz  servants  at  a  loss 
what  to  do  with  their  hearts.  Comparatively  we  are 
as  a  city  of  the  plague,  and  the  streets  appear  deserted ; 
the  officers  and  men  off  duty  were  always  lounging 
about  them.  Dinner  and  turn-out  is  as  common  here 
as  tea  and  ditto  in  England. 

We  often  see  a  party  of  a  dozen  officers  in  full  twig 
go  to  dinner  at  two,  and  hop  the  twig  at  five  or  sooner, 
over  the  way.  I  cannot  quite  get  out  of  my  habit  of 
sitting  up  to  write  at  night,  and  when  I  am  going  to 
bed  at  eleven  or  twelve,  and  look  out  of  the  window, 
all  Coblenzers  are  in  bed ;  the  only  living  tiling  is  the 
sentinel  at  the  general's.  vVt  noon  ihe  whole  town 
literally  smells  of  dinner;  the  shops  are  all  locked  up; 
and  great  is  the  consumption  of  grease  and  garlic. 
Dilke,  who  is  anything  but  peaking  and  delicate,  will 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.       107 

laugh,  and  say  he  never  met  with  anything  he  couldn't 
eat ;  but,  upon  my  "  davit,"  I  saw  a  starved-looking  dog 
in  the  steamboat  refuse  to  touch  a  plate  of  scraps  set 
before  him  by  the  steward.  On  looking  over  Jane's 
letter,  for  fear  we  should  jostle  on  the  same  subject  (you 
know  we  don't  agree  very  well),  I  see  she  has  given 
you  a  description  of  Gradle's  dinner;  so  I  refrain  from 
mentioning  it,  and  will  only  say  that  a  knife,  not  without 
reason  in  Germany,  is  called  a  messer.  As  for  Dilke 
(to  recur  to  him),  you  know  his  infatuation  about  every- 
thing outlandish.  Doesn't  he  send  to  (the  further  end 
of  the  Edgeware  Road  or  where  it  is  ?)  for  German 
mustard  —  only  because  it  looks  dirtier  than  the  Eng- 
lish !  I  '11  be  bound,  if  it  would  give  him  time,  he 
would  give  an  elaborate  panegyric  on  Prussic  acid, 
because  it  is  Prussian.  Only  try  him !  We  would 
give  a  trifle  here  for  a  good  Margate  whiting  for  all 
his  skits  on  that  very  delicate  flavoured  fish,  at  this 
distance  almost  too  delicate. 

I  should  like  to  have  all  the  skate  and  flounders  he 
refused;  and  if  I  possessed  but. a  brill  (that  "workhouse 
turbot"),  I  almost  think  I  should  venture  to  ask  his  ex- 
cellency to  dinner  ;  at  a  pinch  we  could  enjoy  sprats.  I 
hear  we  can  have  oysters  here  in  the  season,  rather 
stale-ish,  that  is  to  say  they  come  like  all  other  travellers, 
all  "  open-mouthed,"  as  if  they  were  looking  at  our  lions. 
They  eat  them  with  vinegar  and  lemon,  and  Franck  says 
you  cannot  eat  them  without;  for  though  you  have  them  in 
their  shells,  they  taste  a  little  too  corpse-like ;  I  think  I 
could  even  eat  the  great  bi^r  horse  ovsters  with  their  lieards 
on,  that  we  used  to  leave  to  the  coul  porters  and  draymen 


108  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS    HOOD. 

about  Lonnon.  "We  have  had  those  lobsters  of  Lilliput 
—  small  crayfish  —  we  thought  we  must  have  bargained 
well  when  we  got  25  a  penny,  but  when  Franck  supped 
upon  them  with  us  in  the  evening,  he  said  we  ought  to 
have  got  a  hundred;  perhaps  we  ought  to  have  had  a 
dozen  for  nothing.  But  the  poor  rich  English  are  very 
much  imposed  upon!  A  maitre  dliotel  (a  very  good 
authority),  told  me  candidly  on  coming  up,  that  there 
were    three    tariffs    for   the    English 

Frencli 
Dutch 

He  stood  in  the  middle  predicament,  and  I  have  found 
his  statement  perfectly  true.  The  good  honest  Germans 
are  as  great  cheats  as  any,  though  I  confess  they  look 
honest,  they  are  so  stupid-like,  and  perhaps  honesty  is 
stupidity.  I  had  some  shirts  made  here,  and  they  not 
only  changed  the  cloth  I  had  bought  of  them,  but  sent 
me  home  some  shirts  so  laughably  short,  I  could  only 
make  shift  with  them ;  this  was  a  respectable  shop. 
Fianck  says  he  interfered  once  (he  has  a  good  national 
spirit  about  him),  when  he  found  some  English  deplorably 
fleeced  at  an  Inn.  The  fact  is,  though  we  pay  three 
times  as  much  as  the  natives,  it  is  still  so  cheap  in  com 
parison  with  England,  "  dear,  dear  "  England,  that  one  is 
blinded  to  imposition.  In  my  last  letter  to  AVright,  I 
ventured  to  conjecture  that  there  would  be  a  revolution 
in  Enghxnd,  if  it  were  from  so  many  English  coming  up 
the  Rhine,  and  finding  wliat  a  deal  they  can  get  for  tlieir 
money ;  not  that  they  would  wish  to  remove  tlieir  king, 
but  that  they  would  wish  their  sovereign  to  go  farther.* 

♦  In  these  days,  when  we  know  more  about  the  official  —  or  shall 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  109 

Only  think  how  you  may  be  charitable  on  next  to 
nothing  by  giving  a  pfenning,  the  third  part  of  a  farthing ; 
and  in  this  blessed  country  there  is  something  to  be 
bought  even  for  that  low  denomination.  I  wonder  what 
you  can  get  in  England  for  a  farthing,  for  the  "  little  far- 
thing rushlight "  is  only  a  fiction.  Only  fancy  Fanny 
coming  to  me  when  Gradle  is  going  to  market,  for  a  shil- 
ling to  dine  the  whole  household. 

We  have  not  tried,  but  I  really  believe  you  might  have 
a  snug  little  evening  party  for  half  a  guinea  !  I  suspect 
you  never  enjoy  the  sensation  of  fulness  in  the  only 
place  where  repletion  is  a  pleasure,  in  the  pocket ! 

You  might  here  go  out  of  an  evening  with  your  bag 
full  of  money ;  and  such  is  the  nature  of  the  coin,  it 
would  only  suffice  to  pay  for  a  lost  game  or  two  at  shil- 
ling shorts.  For  example,  fancy  yourself  the  mother  of  a 
dozen  strapping  Wentworths  (father  or  son  they  are  both 
of  a  bigness),  and  even  so  does  a  little  dumpy  shirt-button- 
mould  of  a  groschen  (a  penny),  expand  by  changing  into 
twelve  goodly  pfennings  —  each  almost  a  ha'penny  — 
whilst  for  a  dollar  (3  shillings),  you  get  6  pieces,  each  as 
big  as  the  old  eighteenpenny  tokens.  You  might  fell  an 
ox  with  a  long  purse  that  had  a  pound  translated  into 
Prussian  at  the  other  end  of  it;  I  wonder  Mrs.  Fry  never 
came  here,  one  might  do  such  a  deal  of  good  ostentatious- 
ly for  a  shilling  a  week.  For  my  own  part,  I  have  not 
gone  further  in  contemplation  than  a  little  feast  to  the  poor 

we  call  it,  officious  —  iiiterfereiice  of  Contiiieiitrtl  Govermnents,  is  it 
not  tolerably  eviileiit  that  the  letters  to  Wrigiit  went  Wrong,  in  conse- 
quence of  such  an  awfully  revolutionary  desire  as  that  of  "  change  for 
a  sovereign?"  —  !.  H. 


110  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

cliiklren  in  Coblenz,  as  I  used  to  see  the  orphan  school 
regaled  in  the  avenue  at  the  back  of  dear  One-Tree  Hill 
at  Wanstead. 

It  would  be  a  pretty  sight  in  the  Castor  Hof;  and 
fruits  being  cheap,  only  think  that,  buying  wholesale, 
I  could  for  three  shillings  give  a  hundred  little  ones  nine 
greengages  a-piece. 

This  would  be  as  good  as  dining  tliom :  for  you  may 
read  in  tlie  "  Bubbles  "  of  a  tailor  and  his  son  who  lived 
in  the  season  on  jjlums.  If  you  would  like  to  join  in  the 
entertainment,  you  might  make  all  the  parents  drunk 
for  about  a  fourpence  a  head,  with  music  ad  libitum 
for  eighteenpence.  I  assure  you  I  was  in  doubt  at  the 
hotel  at  a  table  d'hote  whether  I  could  offer  a  penny 
farthing  to  a  nice  lady-like  young  woman,  who  had  been 
so  obliging  as  to  sing,  accompanied  by  her  harp,  all 
dinner-time.  However,  as  the  coin  Avas  neither  silver 
nor  copper,  I  managed  not  to  be  vulgar  altogether,  nor 
yet  extravagant.  You  will  be  surprised  to  hear  that 
nothing  at  all  seemed  to  be  very  genteel,  and  some  of  the 
gentlemen  gave  it  witli  a  smirk  and  look  as  if  they  ex- 
pected a  salute  in  return.  Never  mind  Dilke,  /  say 
Germans  are  not  liberal  (of  course  only  speaking  from 
the  sample  here),  and  yet  we  have  an  instance  of  liberal- 
ity under  our  eyes  enough  to  redeem  a  nation.  IIow 
munificent  are  the  poor  to  the  poor,  casting  into  shade 
the  most  splendid  benefactions  of  princes  ! 

Next  door  to  us  (a  tavern)  there  lives  a  poor  maniac ; 
the  house  is  her  own  property,  and  therefore  the  charita- 
ble lunatic  asylums  are  clcSsed  against  her.  Her  brother, 
and  heir^  ill-treats  her,  and  is  supposed  almost  to  starve 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.       ni 

her,  for  the  sake  of  the  freehold ;  and  the  poor  wretches 
at  the  back  tenements,  weavers  and  other  famished 
human  weazels  (the  woman  who  begs  our  ham-broth 
amongst  the  rest),  thrust  up  to  the  poor  mad  creature,  on 
the  points  of  sticks,  fragments  of  bread  and  food,  of 
which,  God  knows,  to  look  at  them,  they  are  scant 
enough  themselves.  This  I  call  charity ;  and  it  makes 
me  so  pleased  with  the  givers,  that  I  wish  I  were  but 
that  King  of  Hams,  the  King  of  Westphalia,  to  allow 
them  ham-broth  to  swim  in  if  they  so  pleased. 

And  now,  having  given  you  this  pretty  episode  to 
sweeten  my  asperities  in  my  letter,  I  will  leave  you  with 
an  agreeable  impression  of  human  nature  and  myself.  I 
have  written  a  long  letter,  because  I  thought  your  kind- 
ness would  be  pleased  with  it,  being  a  cheerful  one,  after 
some  anxiety  on  my  account.  Besides,  I  write  to  you 
(I  hope  Dilke  won't  be  jealous)  con  amove,  seeing  that 
we  have  been  always  very  good  friends,  and  have  never 
disagreed  but  at  secondhand.  I  mean  when  I  could  not 
put  up  with  your  pickled  oysters,  and  you  could  not  en- 
dure my  preserved  sprats.  So  I  heartily  reciprocate 
your  "God  bless"  —  which,  I  remember,  when  only  fe- 
males were  in  the  case,  used  to  be  followed  by  a  sort  of 
smack  that  might  have  been  heard  from  No.  9  to  Pim- 
lico  palace.  I  do  not  know  whether  I  ought  —  but  the 
Germans  do  —  and  I  'd  rather  you  than  Dilke  ;  and  be- 
sides, I  recollect  how  you  sobbed  and  cried  when  Doctor 

S went  away  without  offering .     So  here  goes 

—  consider  it  enclosed!  On  second  thou'dits  I  have 
judged  it  better  to  keep  up  appearances  with  your  hus- 
band by  writing  to  him.     So  that  while  I  get  you  to 


112  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

remember  me  kindly  to  William  and  Wentworth  and 
Taylor  and  Chorley  and  Holmes,  and  all  other  friends,  I 
can  get  Dilke  to  forget  me  kindly  to  all  the  rest,  which, 
I  feel  sure,  he  will  punctually  fulfil.  He  must  have  for- 
got himself  when  he  went  to  Margate.  I  only  wish  when 
he  goes  to  the  coast  again  "  may  I  be  there  to  sea."  Of 
course  you  did  not  dip  him,  for  he  is  more  than  a  mould 
already.  Fanny  asked,  in  her  innocent  way,  "  Did  Mr, 
Dilke  go  about  with  a  basket  and  pick  up  shells  ?  "  I 
told  her  "  No ;  but  he  used  to  take  a  ride  out  on  a  don- 
key with  you  behind  him  on  a  pillion."  I  don't  wonder 
at  the  child's  wonder.  In  the  name  of  Earl  Goodwin 
(who  rented  the  famous  Sands),  what  did  you  do  with  his 
appetite  ?  He  is  not  a  man  to  go  about  picking  slu'imps 
and  teazing  periwinkles  out  of  their  shells  with  crooked 
pins.  As  the  sea  air  is  sharpening,  I  wonder  he  did  not 
eat  you,  who  are  as  plump  as  a  partridge,  with  ]Mrs.  Pap 
by  way  of  bread-sauce.  Then  the  hot  weather  you  both 
talk  of  must  have  made  him  open  his  coat  wider  than 
usual,  that  the  wind  might  get  down  the  arms.  I  think 
I  see  him  courting  the  sea-breeze.  "  Upon  my  soul,  Ma- 
ria, this  is  a  delightful  place  !  So  like  Coblenz  !  So  you 
call  this  Margate,  do  you,  my  beauty?  Well  — "  (a 
grunt  like  a  paviour's)  "  and  I  suppose  you  call  that  the 
fort  —  humph  !  Considering  we  might  have  stood  before 
Ehrenbreitstein  instead  of  it  —  hah!"  (a  sigh  like  an 
alligator's).  "My  God!  —  that  we  could  be  so  insane! 
—  how  any  Christian  being  could  stay  a  month  in  it!  — 
why  I  should  hang  myself  in  ten  days,  or  drown  myself 
in  that  stinking  sea  yonder!  There  is  not  one  tiling 
worth  looking  at  —  not  one!     I  know  what  you  are  go- 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  113 

ing  to  say,  Beauty;  but  because  the  Crosbys  and  the 
Chatfields  are  such  donkeys,  and  the  Lord  knows  who 
besides,  is  it  any  reason  because  they  don't  act  hke  com- 
mon rational  beings ?     But  come  along!"  (no  offer 

to  stir  though)  "  let  's  go  up  to  the  market  and  look  at 
the  fish,  for  I  suppose  you  know  there  is  none  to  be  had 
here,  because  it  is  so  near  the  coast.     To  be  sure,  says 
you,  there  is  whiting  —  and  so  there  is  at  Billingsgate ! 
If  ever  I  go  again  to  a  watering-place  —  I  believe  that 's 
what  you  call  it,  Maria  —  it  shall  be  Ilungerford  Market. 
My  God !  it  is  a  madness  —  a  perfect  madness  —  to  leave 
home  and  come  down  here  to  see  —  what  ?   a  parcel  of 
yellow    slippers    and    pepper-and-salt    dressing-gowns." 
Here  he  draws  down  his  mouth,  and  hoists  up  his  shoul- 
ders, till  his  coat-collar  hides  his  ears.     "  Well,  it 's  too 
late  now  to  listen  to  common  sense.     It  serves  me  right 
for  being  such  an  ass. "  By  the  time  my  holidays  are  over, 
I  shall  know  how  to  spend  them !     But  perhaps  you  like 
it  better  than  I  do,  for  there's  no  disputing  of  tastes. 

"  There  may  be  something  to  recommend  even  Mar- 
gate, though  an  angel  from  heaven  couldn't  find  out  what 
it  is.  I  know  /  can't,  unless  it  's  having  a  drunken  noisy 
vagabond  overhead  to  keep  you  awake  all  night  Ion"-. 
But  I  forget,  my  darling,  you  don't  sleep  so  light  as  I  do 
—  so  much  the  better  for  you  !     Then  there  's  his  sister 

that  Mrs.  •  what  d'  ye  call  her,  Tops-and-Bottoms, 

with  her  infernal  bobbings  and  curtseyings  and  over-ci- 
vihty.  Damme  if  I  know  how  to  answer  the  woman  !  I 
suppose,  according  to  ^Margate  manners,  we  ought  to  ask 
her  to  Grosvenor  Place.  But  mind,  Maria,  wlien  she 
calls,  I  'm  at  Somerset  House !     Come  along "    (not  a 


II 


114  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

stump  stirred  yet).  "I  suppose  we  must  see  what  is  n't 
to  be  seen  in  our  salt-water  Wapping.  All  /  have  seen 
is  'London  butter,' — just  think  of  that,  Maria,  —  'Lon- 
don butter  may  be  had  here.'  Why  so  it  may  in  Lon- 
don without  going  sixty  miles  by  sea  for  it ;  and  you,  my 
darling,  as  sick  as  a  dog!  Spasms!  I  don't  wonder 
you  've  had  spasms  ;  I  've  almost  had  them  myself.  It 's 
the  cursed  negatives,  and  the  place,  rather  than  anything 
positive, — the  utter  bleakness  and  desolation  of  the  coun- 
try against  the  stinks  of  the  sea-shore.  Lord !  that  a 
man  with  a  nose  on  his  face  should  come  here ;  and  here 
too  one  has  to  remember  that  there  are  such  places  as 
Coblenz ;  and  such  a  river  as  the  Ehine.  I  '11  tell  you 
what,  Maria  !  "  Here  he  tells  you  nothing  ;  but  stooping 
over  his  base,  like  the  leaning  tower  at  Bologna,  he  takes 
a  very  long  pinch  of  snufl',  and  then  anathematising, 
shakes  the  dust  off  his  fingers  against  all  Margate  and 
all  its  inhabitants,  present  and  future. 

There  !  isn't  that  a  portrait  of  him  to  the  life  —  a  cab- 
inet picture  —  a  gem !  Pray  take  care  of  it,  to  be  a 
comfort  to  you  when  you  are  a  widow.  Perhaps  I  shall 
send  him  a  sketch  of  you  as  a  companion  picture,  for  I 
can  fancy  you  quite  as  vividly.  If  I  recollect  rightly  you 
were  at  Margate  before,  and  liked  it  amazingly.  Be- 
tween your  raptures  and  his  disgusts  I  suppose  you  got 
up  a  quarrel,  for  I  observed  you  say  in  your  letter  that 
"  you  are  both  getting  a  little  more  reconciled."  lie 
must  have  been  awful  —  and  I  guess  it  was  his  splenetic 
attacks  on  the  donkeys  to  vent  his  humane  notions  that 
originated  the  notice  to  visitors  about  "  wanton  cruelty." 
Take  my  advice  if  ever  you  get  him  to  Margate  again 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


115 


put  him  up  to  be  raffled  for.     And  now  as  the  Germans 
say  "  ah  chied  ! "  or  as  you  would  say  "  a  do." 


c/llc<AA/y  ^vVr\.o     Jc-cA/\Xi->'^.ci^J>U 


"  If  these  pages  should  be  the  happy  means  of  exciting 
one  virtuous  impression,  or  confirming  one  moral  or  re- 
ligious principle,  or  lightening  one  moment  of  human  suf- 
fering, or  eradicating  one  speculative  error,  or  removing 
one  ill-founded  prejudice,  the  writer  will  have  his  re- 
ward, and  wUl  not  have  written  in  vain." 

I  am, 
My  dear  Mrs.  Dilke, 

Yours  ever  very  truly, 

Thos.  Hood. 


P.S.  I  dined  well  to-day  on  such  a  haricot!  that 
I'm  persuaded  Jane  is  the  best  cook  in  Coblenz.  So 
I  have  done  the  handsome  thing  and  riz  her.  She  had 
nothing  a-year  before,  and  I  have  doubled  it.  We  got  a 
Westphalia  ham  against  the  Elliots'  return,  at  five  pence 
a  pound.     It  is  the  finest  I  ever  tasted ;  such  a  flavour, 


116 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


quite  answerable  to  its  odour,  which  is  as  unique  in  its 
kind  as  that  of  the  best  Eau  de  Cologne !  They  call  it 
here  the  "  rauch,"  answerable  to  the  Scottish  reek ;  but 
I  will  say  no  more  here  about  edibles  or  you  will  com- 
pare me  to  Matthews,  who  began  writing  "  The  Diary  of  . 
an  Invalid,"  and  ended  a  Gourmand.  I  should  like  to 
send  you  a  real  "Westphalian,  but  then  the  duty !     You 

ought  to  take  one  with  you  here,  as  Miss  M did  her 

sweetmeats  from  India;  she  brought  a  large  box  of 
them  —  preserved  Lord  knows  what  —  but  the  customs 
demanded  so  much  that  instead  of  bringing  them  ashore 
she  went  and  ate  them  all  up  on  board  herself.     I  had 

this  from  Dr.  E ,  who  was  called  in   to  her  after 

"the  Gorge." 

P.  S.     God  bless. 


MEMORIALS  OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  117 


CHAPTER    III. 

1836. 

At  Coblenz.  —  Lettei-s  from  Mrs.  Hood  to  Mrs.  Elliot.  —  Letters  to  Mr. 
Wright  aud  Mr.  Dilke.  —  Accompanies  the  19th  Polish  Lifiintry  in 
their  March  to  Berlin.  —  Letters  to  his  Wife.  —  Returns  to  Coblenz. 

—  Dlness.  —  Letters  to  Lieut,  de  Frauck,  Mr.  Wright,  and  Mr.  Dilke. 

—  Commences  "  Up  the  Rhine." 

AT  the  beginning  of  this  chapter,  I  have  inserted  the 
following  letter  from  my  mother  to  her  friend  Mrs. 
Elliot,  not  only  as  interesting  in  itself,  but  also  as  giv- 
ing a  correct  history  of  the  "  trussing  "  of  the  Christmas 
pudding,  to  which  such  frequent  allusign  is  made  by  my 
father  in  his  subsequent  letters  to  Mr.  de  Franck. 

372,  Castor  Hof,  Coblenz,  2Sth  Jan.,  1836. 
My  dear  Mrs.  Elliot, 

Your  welcome  letter  arrived  with  many  others  in  a 
parcel  on  New- Year's  eve. 

You  may  not  have  seen  Mr.  Wright  to  hear  that  his 
parcel  was  packed  up  to  send  here,  when  finding  that  it 
was  not  safe  to  enclose  the  letters  he  had  to  take  them 
out,  and  a  friend  of  the  Dilkes  coming  to  Dlisseldorf 
undertook  to  convey  them  to  us ;  she  was  detained  a 
fortnight  at  Rotterdam,  as  the  persons  who  undertook  to 


118  MEMORIAL^  OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

put  the  luggage  on  board  neglected  to  do  so.  From  the 
time  you  left  us,  with  the  exception  of  one  from  my  sister 

C ,  two  days  after  your  departure,  and  a  few  from 

Mr.  Wright,  who  saw  the  "  Comic  "  through  the  press, 
we  did  not  have  a  letter  from  a  soul ;  post  after  post  went 
by  in  vain  expectation ;  first  we  were  impatient,  then 
we  were  angry,  then  astonished,  and  asked  each  other 
"  Stands  England  where  it  did  ?  "  The  man  used  to  turn 
the  corner  of  the  Nagcl  Strasse,  and  come  with  his  hate- 
ful lemon  collar  to  the  very  next  door,  nay,  even  to  our 
own,  but  not  to  us.  Hood  was  dressing  to  go  to  the 
civil  Casino  ball  with  Herr  Franck  when  the  delightful 
parcel  arrived.  He  was  sorry  he  had  to  go,  and  kept  his 
friend  waiting,  while  he  read  some  of  the  long  looked-for 
letters. 

I  must  now  earnestly  and  gratefully  thank  you  and 

my  kind    friend   the   Doctor  for  going  to  C .     My 

mother's  letter  expressed  how  much  comfort  you  had 
afforded  her  by  tliat  visit ;  she  seemed  cheered  by  your 
good  account  of  us,  and  I  feel  quite  happy  to  think  she 
will  look  on  our  absence  with  less  regret  now  she  knows 
we  are  going  on  so  well.  We  are  all  well  now  except 
Hood,  who  every  now  and  then  has  a  slight  return  of 
illness  and  weakness,  wliich  I  trust  when  the  spring 
comes  he  will  get  over.  *  *  *  i  imve  recovered  the 
use  of  my  eye  in  spite  of  all  mis-management,  but  I 
suffered  great  pain.  I  had  three  spots  on  the  white,  or 
rather  the  red  of  the  eye  like  seed-pearl.  You  will  rec- 
ollect tliat  the  people  liere  are  most  of  them  troubled 
with  weak  eyes.  Hood  says  they  are  generally  brown 
but  border  on  red.     I   forgot  to  tell  you  in  its  proper 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  ng 

place,  that  is  to  say  round  my  eye,  that  I  was  ordered 
leeches  which  were  applied  by  a  sort  of  barber-surgeon, 
an  official  not  now  known  in  England. 

Hood  desires  me  to  make  known  the  best  part  of  his 
practice,  namely,  put  the  leeches  for  five  minutes  into  a 
basin  of  tepid  water,  which  makes  them  lively,  and  eager 
to  bite ;  obviating  the  tediousness  and  trouble  of  the 
English  method.  And  fortunately  Hood  in  his  candour 
ventured  to  approve  of  the  plan,  and  drew  upon  himself 
the  retort  of  "  Noio,  Sir,  you  may  write  to  England,  and 
tell  them  how  to  put  on  leeches."  But  the  Germans  do 
not  know  where  to  put  them,  for  he  put  one  in  the  corner 
of  my  eye.  "We  have  since  had  the  following  bill: 
"  To  his  Lady  to  put  blood-suckers  at  your  eye,  six  shil- 
lings," which  charge,  translated  into  English,  according 
to  the  relative  value  of  money,  would  be  twelve  shillings 
for  merely  putting  them  on,  exclusive  of  the  "  blood- 
suckers ; "  but  Hood  thinks  the  method  is  worth  atten- 
tion, and  I  only  mention  the  charge  as  a  warning  to  any 
friends  you  may  have  coming  up  the  Rhine,  as  a  sample 
of  what  we  find  too  surely  obtains  throughout  as  regards 
the  English ;  this  man  never  receiving  more  than  a  third 
from  the  natives. 

We  are  getting  wiser  every  day,  and  have  paid  for  it, 
but  could  not  have  arrived  at  the  truth  without  the  liclp 
of  our  friend  Lieut,  de  Franck,  who  is  an  Englishman 
by  birth  and  at  heart,  but  will  pass  for  a  German.  It  is 
too  certain  there  is  a  separate  table  of  charges  for  the 
English ;  and  the  superlativest  thing  a  countryman  can 
do  going  up  the  Rhine,  is  to  insist  upon  the  German 
price,  always  a  half,  sometimes  a  third.     De  Franck  tells 


120  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

us  a  major's  pay  is  a  very  handsome  income,  and  it  is 
exactly  £  280  a  year.  As  they  have  a  certain  style  to 
keep  up,  you  may  imagine  how  cheap  living  is  to  the 
natives. 

Hood  is  so  disgusted  with  their  illiberality  in  this  re- 
spect, that  he  likes  to  publish  it  as  much  as  he  can, 
especially  as  the  English  are  the  greatest  benefactors  to 
the  llhenish  towns.  I  am  not  sure  whether  I  shall  be 
able  to  restrain  him  from  going  to  the  steam-packets, 
when  they  arrive  with  the  English,  to  say,  "  Take  care  of. 
your  pockets." 

I  will  now  give  you  a  pleasanter  subject  —  Hood's 
description  of  the  ball  at  Casino  on  New  Year's  eve.  I 
made  him  sit  by  me  and  dictate  it.  "  My  ticket  to  meet 
all  the  rank,  beauty,  and  fashion  of  Coblenz  cost  me  only 
twenty  groschen,  and  it  was  well  worth  every  shilling  of 
the  money.  His  Excellency  General  De  Borstell,  com- 
mander of  all  the  Rhenish  provinces,  was  there,  and  so 
was  my  tailor,  and  the  man  of  whom  I  bought  my  black 
stock.  To  be  sure,  although  in  one  room,  there  was  a  West 
End.  The  rank  particularly  occupied  the  top  corner;  so 
the  right-hand  and  the  left  corner  next  the  door  seemed 
to  be  the  favourite  with  the  snips  and  snobs.  To  do  the 
latter  justice,  they  behaved  with  much  more  decency  and 
decorum  tlian  would  have  prevailed  in  such  a  motley  as- 
semblage in  London.  How  would  you  stare,  too,  in 
London,  to  see  at  a  ball  a  score  or  two  in  the  uniform  of 
common  soldiers  offering  their  partnership  to  the  ladies ! 
But  the  fact  is,  as  everybody  must  be  a  soldier  in  Prus- 
sia, there  is  no  purchasing  commissions  :  some  of  the 
common  soldiers  are   the  sons  of  barons.     The  dances 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.       121 

were  waltzes,  gallopades,  and  contre-danses,  the  last  like 
our  quadrilles.  They  mostly  danced  well,  especially  the 
waltz,  which  is  such  a  favourite,  that  I  saw  girls  stand  up 
for  it  —  steady-looking,  decidedly  serious  as  a  Sunday- 
school  teacher,  whom  I  should  as  soon  have  expected  to 
see  whirl  off  with  a  young  man  round  the  room  after  sixty 
other  couples.  They  made  my  head  spin  at  last  with 
looking  at  them.  But  the  music  was  beautiful  —  excel- 
lently played.  I  think  /  could  at  least  have  flounced 
about  in  time  to  it  myself.  The  instruments  were  many 
and  various.  They  seemed  never  to  tire  of  the  whirligig ; 
and  De  Franck  says,  they  often  waltz  upon  those  pol- 
ished floors,  similar  to  the  Duke  of  Orange's  you  saw, 
where  we  can  hardly  walk  without  breaking  a  leg,  as  the 
Duke  of  York  did.  I  was  amused  to  see  De  Franck 
and  a  young  lady  each  pull  out  a  card  or  Uttle  book,  and 
register  something  in  the  Tattersall  style  of  betting ;  it 
was  an  engagement  to  each  other  to  dance  together  at  a 
certain  ball,  perhaps  a  month  to  come.  From  time  to 
time,  the  company  refreshed  themselves  in  a  suite  of  rooms 
laid  out  with  tables,  each  company  paying  for  its  own. 
For  my  own  part,  I  got  on  pleasantly  enough  amongst  a 
party  of  Franck's  brother  officers,  one  of  whom  instantly 
tendered  to  me  a  glass  of  Cardinal,  i.  e.  Bishop  (only 
cold),  with  wine,  sugar,  and  the  rind  of  a  small  green 
orange  they  grow  here,  of  the  size  of  a  cotton  ball,  and 
which  has  the  peculiar  property,  that  a  little  too  much  of 
the  rind  in  the  mixture  will  infallibly  give  you  the  head- 
ache !  I  wish  I  could  say  much  for  the  beauty  of  Cob- 
lenz  ;  but  there  were  only,  to  my  taste,  three  or  four  with 
any  pretensions.    The  great  favourite  was  a  Miss  N . 

VOL.   I.  6 


122  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

The  officers  hardly  reckon  it  a  ball  without  her.  Yet  she 
is  not  handsome  ;  her  nose  is  decidedly  plain  —  snubby 
even ;  but  she  seems  clever,  which  is  rare  enough  here, 
I  guess.  I  had  also  a  young  wife  of  sixteen  pointed  out 
to  me  as  interesting,  but  she  looked  too  like  a  school- 
girl. As  to  dress,  I  always  get  scolded  because  I  could 
never  describe  if  Miss  A.  or  Miss  B.  was  in  blonde  or 
bombazeen.  So  you  must  excuse  the  millineiy,  espe- 
cially as,  being  all  grades,  they  wore  all  sorts  of  fash- 
ions. 

"  At  last  came  the  dance  I  had  come  to  see !  Exactly 
at  twelve,  bang  went  a  minor  cannon  in  an  adjoining 
room,  and  the  waltz  instantly  broke  up,  and  the  whole 
roomwas  in  motion,  everybody  walking  or  running  about 
to  exchange  salutations,  and  kisses  and  embraces  with 
all  friends  and  acquaintances  male  and  female.  Such 
hearty  smacks  and  hugs,  and  hand-shakings  to  the  chorus 
of  '  Prosit  neu  jahr !  Prosit  neu  jahr ! '  Some  of  the 
maidens  methought  kissed  each  other  most  tantalisingly, 
and  languished  into  each  other's  arms,  I  am  afraid  because 
so  many  nice  young  men  and  gay  officers  were  present 
to  see  it ;  but  then  the  fathers  and  mothers  were  as 
busy  kissing  and  be-kissed.  With  some  of  the  older 
folks  it  was  quite  a  ceremony ;  and  I  should  think 
the  demand  on  the  sentimcntals  was  very  great.  And 
there  all  the  while  stood  your  humble  servant  —  the 
poor  English  creature  —  the  disconsolate  —  the  forsaken 
—  the  dummy  —  and  looker-on  —  and  what  you  will  — 
with  my  lips  made  up  and  my  arms  empty  —  a  lay 
figure  —  while  the  very  fiddlers  were  hugging!  Of 
course  I  could  not  kiss  my  tailor,  or  embrace  the  man 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS    HOOD.  123 

I  bouglit  the  black  stock  of.  But  luckily  I  recognised 
two  young  ladies  I  have  met  at  the  Vertue's.  (You 
see  I  stuck  to  the  Virtuous  though  Jane  was  not  pres- 
ent.) We  had  never  been  on  speaking  terms,  as  they 
did  not  like  to  own  to  French  far  from  the  best  quality. 
However,  I  convinced  them  mine  w-as  no  better,  and 
we  complimented  each  other  with  a  good  deal  of  'bad 
language.'  So  I  went  and  looked  a  salute  at  them, 
which  made  them  smile,  and  then  the  officer  who  had 
presented  me  the  glass  of  Cardinal,  came  and  shook 
hands  with  me ;  and  even  this,  which  was  my  all,  com- 
forted me.  It  was  really  a  funny  scene,  and  if  you 
will  give  a  large  party  on  New  Year's  eve,  and  have 
plenty  of  beauty  and  fashion,  I  will  introduce  the  custom 
on  my  return.     I  mean  to  try  and  draw  it."  * 

So  much  for  Hood's  New  Year's  eve.  I  must  now 
tell  you  my  story  about  the  Christmas  pudding.  The 
Lieutenant  was  with  us  on  Christmas  day,  and  enjoyed 
my  plum-pudding  so  much,  that  I  promised  to  make  one 
for  him.  Hood  threatened  to  play  some  tricks  with  it  — 
either  to  pop  in  bullets  or  tenpenny  nails ;  and  I  watched 
over  my  work  with  great  vigilance,  so  that  it  was  put  in 
to  boil  without  any  misfortune. 

I  went  to  bed  early,  telling  Gradle  to  put  it,  when  done, 
into  the  drawing-room  till  the  morning.  Hood  was  writ- 
ing, and  says,  it  was  put  down  smoking  under  his  very 
nose,  and  the  spirit  of  mischief  was  irresistible.  I  had 
bought  a  groschen's  worth  of  new  white  wooden  skewers 
that  very  morning.  He  cut  them  a  little  shorter  than 
the  pudding's  diameter,  and  poked  them  in  across  and 

*  This  forms  one  of  the  illustrations  of  "  Up  the  Rhine."  —  T.  U. 


124  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

across  in  all  directions,  so  neatly,  that  I  never  perceived 
any  sign  of  them  when  I  packed  and  sealed  it  up  the 
next  day  for  De-  Franck's  man  to  carry  over  to  Ehren- 
breitstein.  He  came  to  thank  me  and  praised  it  highly. 
I  find  that  while  I  was  out  of  the  room  Hood  asked  him 
if  it  was  not  well  trussed,  and  he  answered  "  Yes  "  so 
gravely  that  Hood  thought  he  meditated  some  joke  in 
retaliation,  and  was  on  his  guard.  At  the  ball  the  truth 
came  out  —  he  actually  thought  it  was  some  new  method 
of  making  plum-puddings,  and  gave  me  credit  for  the 
woodwork.  He  had  invited  two  of  his  brother  officers 
to  lunch  upon  it,  and  Hood  wanted  *  to  persuade  me  that 
the  "  Cardinal "  officer  had  swallowed  one  of  the  skew- 
ers !     Now  was  not  this  an  abominable  trick  ? 

We  have  had  very  severe  weather,  and  at  first  suf- 
fered much  from  the  cold,  for  the  stoves  ax-e  dreadful 
and  unsatisfactory  substitutes  for  a  good  English  fire. 
The  Rhine  bridge  was  taken  up,  and  the  people  crossed 
the  river  to  and  fro  in  boats.  This  has  been  inconven- 
ient to  the  officers  who  live  at  Ehrenbreitstein,  as  the 
private  and  public  balls  are  numerous  at  this  season,  and 
crossing  the  llhine  through  broken  ice  in  an  open  boat  at 
twelve,  one,  and  two  in  the  morning,  after  dancing,  is  not 
very  agreeable.  They  attempted  putting  up  the  bridge 
again  two  days  ago,  after  a  week's  complete  thaw,  and  got 
it  a  quarter  over  on  each  side,  but  yesterday  there  came 

*  And  nearly  succeeded  in  doing  so,  innocently  ftssisted  by  the 
ofTicer  in  question,  witli  whom  the  pudding  had  not  altogetlier  agreed. 
As  he  did  not  know  Knglisli,  and  my  mother  was  not  yet  up  in  Ger- 
man, a  pantomime  ensued  on  his  part  expressive  of  indigestion,  but 
construed  by  my  father  as  descriptive  of  the  agonies  of  an  internal 
skewer.  —  T.  II. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  J25 

with  a  storm   of  wind  large  masses  of  ice  from  other 
rivers  that  flow  into  the  Rhine,  and  tore  up  the  fasten- 
ings, crushing  the  boats,  and  breaking  them  into  pieces. 
They  have,  however,  got  it  up  to-day  again  partly,  and 
if  fresh  ice  does  not  come,  it  will  all  be  up  by  eleven  or 
twelve  to-morrow.     The  week  before  last  we  read  an  ac- 
count in  a  Coblenz  paper  that  the  ice  had  stopped  at  the 
Lurlei  (I  dare  say  you  recollect  that  singular  and  pictur- 
esque rock  above  St.  Goar),  and  that  it  was  "mountains 
high,"  not  having  been  so  before  in  the  memory  of  man. 
We  found  from  De  Franck  everybody  was  going  to  see 
it,  and  we  nobodies  wished  to  join  them.     It  was  a  bright 
day,  clear  and  frosty,  and  I  who  had  not  before  been 
above  Coblenz,  enjoyed   the  scenery  greatly.     "We  left 
here  at  half-past  nine,  and  arrived  at  St.  Goar  to  dinner 
at  half-past  one.     "We  set  off  after  dinner  to  see  the  ice, 
which,  we  were  told,  extended  f^  beyond  what  we  could 
reach  that  evening,  having  to  return  here.     The  Ger- 
mans, who  are  apt  to  exaggerate,  had  talked  of  icebergs 
not  to  be  found,  but  still  the  sight  was  well  worth  seeing. 
Supposing  you  have  not  forgotten  the  Lurlei,  imagine 
that  narrow  passage  blocked  up  with  a  storm  of  ice ;  for 
the  immense  pressure  had  heaved  it  up  in  huge  waves 
and  furrows,  eight  or  ten  feet  high,  each  ridge  composed 
of  massive  slabs  of  ice  tossed  about  in  all  directions.     At 
every  bend  of  the  river  there  had  been  a  dreadful  scuffle, 
and  the  fragments  were  thrust  upwards  end-ways.     But 
the  mighty  river  would  not  be  dammed  up  —  you  saw  it 
now  and  then  in  a  narrow  slip  rushing  like  a  mill  stream 
—  then  it  plunged  under  the  ice  and  boiled  up  again  a 
hundred  yards  farther.      At  one   bend   of  the   river   a 


126  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

green  orchard  was  covered  with  great  blocks  hurled  over 
the  bank,  one  could  not  suppose  how.     There  were  some 
ridges,  or   rather   ruts,   so   straight   and    evenly  shaved 
down,  that  one  fancied  some  giant  of  the  mountain  had 
driven  his  car  through  the  middle  of  the  ice,  and  that  his 
wheels  had  left  these  traces  and  deep  furrows.     But  on 
considering  it,  Hood  discovered  that  the  middle  ice  had 
moved,  while  that  on  the  sides  was  stationary,  and  the 
friction  had  worn  it  as  smooth  as  if  cut  with  a  knife. 
We  went  to  Oberwesel,  part  of  which  was  under  water. 
"We  had   not  time   to  proceed  farther,  though  we  both 
agreed  that  we  could  have  gone  on,  and  on,  and  on,  to 
see  more.     We  hear  that  higher  up  a  church  was  sur- 
rounded with  masses  of  ice  so  that  only  the  steeple  was 
perceptible.     The  Moselle  ice  carried  away  a  youth  of 
sixteen,  who  was  playing  on  it,  and  a  similar  and  some- 
what romantic  incident  occurred  on  the  Rhine.     On  the 
island  just   above    the   bridge   resides  the   Countess  of 
P ,  who  walkiiig  out  by  herself  to  see  the  ice  float- 
ing down,  managed  to  fall  in  ;  perhaps   she  was  push- 
ing the  loose  bits  of  ice  as   the  children  do.     Heaven 
knows  what  foolish  process  brought  her  to  do  it  —  but  in 
she  plumped  !     As  Hood  says,  "  some  German  cherub 
that  sits  up  aloft "  brought  a  willow  bough  to  her  assist- 
ance, and  there  she  hung,  well  preserved  in  ice,  a  good 
long  spell  —  till  a  young  man,  the  son  of  one  who  had 
been  at  law  with  the  Count,  her  father,  about  some  hun- 
dreds of  thalers,  came  in  a  boat  and  rescued  her.    There 
has  been  much  speculation  whether  the  law-suit  would 
be  dropped  by  the  old  gentleman,  out  of  gratitude  to  the 
preserver  of  his  daughter.     However,  I  have  not  heard 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  127 

the  result.  Unfortunately  the  young  lady  is  not  a  beauty, 
or  even  interesting ;  being  very  short  and  stout,  with  a 
coarse  red  complexion,  and  tow-coloured  hair.  Our 
friend  says  she  attends  the  balls,  and  although  always  ele- 
gantly dressed  witli  a  jewelled  order  of  crown  and  cross 
on  her  bosom,  all  agree  she  looks  like  some  peasant-girl 
from  the  mountains  —  and  one  of  the  plainest  too ! 
Hood  foretells  she  will  give  her  preserver  a  lock  of 
her  tow-coloured  hair,  and  advise  her  father  to  proceed 
with  the  law-suit.  This  is  his  splenetic  idea  of  German 
gratitude. 

I  am  going  to  intrude  a  double  letter  upon  you,  and 
I  fear  a  very  confused  and  blundering  one.  I  am  always 
very  busy,  and  now  especially  so  from  Gradle  not  behav- 
ing well.  Indeed  she  has  so  the  upper  hand  of  me,  and 
goes  her  own  course  of  late  so  obstinately,  that  we  decide 
upon  parting  with  her !  The  love  affair  (if  one  may  so 
degrade  the  term)  with  Joseph,  the  carpenter,  soon  after 
you  left  became  annoying ;  every  evening  he  was  at  our 
door  for  two  or  three  hours,  and  so  she  left  us  to  attend 
to  ourselves.  When  it  got  cold  weather,  and  she  had  a 
pain  in  her  face,  she  brought  him  into  the  kitchen ;  at 
last  he  was  here  at  all  times  in  the  day.  I  could  not  go 
into  my  own  kitchen,  but  there  he  stood  or  sat  smoking 
his  pipe,  and  she  would  not  imderstand  that  we  did  not 
like  it ;  so  we  got  Herr  Ramponi,  an  Italian  master,  who 
calls  here  sometimes  to  gossip  with  Hood,  to  say  our  mind, 
and  she  promised  everything  in  the  way  of  amendment, 
but  her  temper,  as  the  Vertues  told  us,  is  very  ungovern- 
able. She  has  carried  on  the  connection,  and  our  chil- 
dren, when  she  is  sent  to  take  them  out,  are  we  find 


128  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

always  kept  standing  on  the  banks  of  the  Rhine  or 
Moselle,  while  she  talks  to  Joseph,  who  is  at  work  there. 
As  we  cannot  now  depend  on  her,  and  I  find  her  very 
insolent  to  myself,  without  the  power  to  answer  or  check 
it,  Hood  insists  upon  her  going. 

Tom  was  seized  with  the  measles,  poor  dear,  and  was 
very  ill  one  day.     It  is  not,  they  say,  thought  anything  of 
here,  but  we  moved  his   bed   for  warmth  into  Hood's 
study,  kept  fires  night  and  day,  and  Hood  and  I  never 
left  him  till  quite  well,  which  he  is  now,  though  a  little 
weaker.     He  is  an  everlasting  amusement  to  us  with  his 
little    tricks  —  says    "ja"    and  "ah  chied,"    pronounced 
"  a  chee,"  and  takes  off  his  little  black  cap  bowing  as 
ceremoniously  as  a  young  German.     We  hear  that  there 
is  going  to  be  a  very  grand  review  of  all  the  Prussian 
troops  by  the  King  next  September ;  and  they  half  think, 
and  all  wish  it  may  be  in  the  neighbourhood  of  Coblenz ; 
it  will  be  a  grand  sight  —  the  pioneers  will  throw  tem- 
porary bridges   over   the    Rhine  —  the  tents  would   be 
pitched  on  the  plain  on  the  other  side  of  the  Moselle 
facing   our  back  windows  —  there  will  be  80,000  men, 
and  it  would  be  only  a  pleasant  ride  from  here  to  see 
their  evolutions  and  sham  fights,  De  Franck  being  good 
information  for  us  where  best  to  go.     The  King  would 
reside  (if  here)  in  the  suite  of  rooms  that  run  along  the 
front  of  the   General's   opposite  to   us;    and  the  place 
would  be  very  gay  and  amusing.     Of  course  it  would 
even  tempt  travellers  to  abide  here,  as  such  a  sight  does 
not  offer  every  day.     The  Dilkes  wrote  by  the  parcel 
your  letters   came  in  —  he  was  very  much  dissatisfied 
with  their  trip  to  Margate,  and  kept  saying  continually 
"  and  we  might  have  been  on  the  banks  of  the  Rhine." 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  129 

Passing  down  Chancery  Lane  a  month  after  their 
return,  he  heard  the  mistress  of  a  greengrocer's  shop 
say  "  that  gentleman  was  at  Margate  when  I  was  there  !  " 

Our  friend  Franck  has  just  been  here  on  his  way 
to  the  military  ball  at  the  Casino.  He  tells  us  that 
General  Von  Borstell  has  written  to  the  Kin<j  to  besr 
he  will  have  the  review  here,  if  possible,  but  they  are 
afraid  that  the  Minister  of  Finance  will  object,  on 
account  of  the  expense,  as  the  farmers  ask  so  much 
here  for  their  crops,  and  the  King  always  pays  for 
the  damage  which  is  done  by  the  troops  during  their 
sham  fights ;  they  trample  over  everything. 

On  the  11th  February,  the  Carnival  commences,  but 
they  seem  to  think  it  will  not  be  a  good  one  this  year, 
it  was  so  expensive  on  the  last  occasion,  though  I  think 
to  the  sober  English,  the  best  is  but  mere  trumpery 
and  folly ;  it  is  well,  however,  to  see  all  these  novelties 
before  settling  again  at  our  dear  English  fireside,  which 
I  look  forward  to  with  all  hope  and  comfort.  Hood 
promises  himself  the  pleasure  of  writing  to  Dr.  Elliot, 
to  whom  he  feels  much  indebted  for  even  bis  flying 
advice,  as  it  has  done  him  much  permanent  good.  The 
steel  wine  appeared  to  be  of  such  benefit  that  he  really 
missed  it  when  he  chanced  not  to  take  it,  and  he  has 
had  no  return  worth  mentioning  of  his  complaint.  He 
says  he  has  entirely  to  thank  the  Doctor,  that  in  med- 
icine he  is  not  an  Infdel,  and  that  here,  for  once,  he 
has  no  double  meaningless  meaning,  the  double  practice 
upon  himself  and  his  better  half:  he  hopes  the  Doctor 
will  not  accuse  him  of  presumption  that  he  intends 
to  pi'actise  here   himself,  —  but  only  upon  himself,  and 

6*  I 


130  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

he  prays  God  earnestly  that  he  may  not  have  need 
of  such  bad  advice. 

Hood  means  to  go  to  Mayence,  Frankfort,  the  Baths, 
&c.,  and  also  up  the  Moselle,  to  Treves  (I  remaining 
here  with  my  babes),  if  he  can,  next  spring  and  sum- 
mer—  meditating  a  work  for  which  he  has  already 
some  matter  and  drawings,  something  like  the  "  Brun- 
nens,"  and  yet  not  like  it;  he  hopes  you  got  the  Comic 
he  desired  to  be  sent,  and  that  it  did  you  no  harm. 
Through  some  mismanagement  of  not  hearing  how  the 
book  printed,  he  had  too  much,  and  so  some  of  the 
writing  stands  over  for  the  next.  I  was  very  angry 
at  this,  who  saw  how  very  hard  he  worked  up  to  the 
last.  "We  have  not  received  it  yet,  which  seems  odd, 
but  I  suppose  the  difficulty  of  sending  a  parcel  when 
the  Rhine  steamers  do  not  go,  prevented  Mr.  "Wright 
forwarding  that,  and  also  the  books  you  so  kindly  sent 
Fanny,  for  which  she  sends  her  love  and  best  thanks,  — 
they  will  be  a  treat  as  her  little  stock  is  quite  exhausted 
now. 

How  we  missed  you !  Though  it  could  scarcely  be 
called  a  glance :  as  the  packet  went  smoking  down  the 
Rliine,  we  felt  as  if  left  upon  a  desert  island,  and  walked 
back  to  look  at  our  untouched  luncheon,  sad  and  silent. 
We  then  said  to  each  other,  "  "What  shall  we  do  ?  "  and 
both  agreed  we  must  "go  out  a-pleasuring,"  —  so  off  we 
set  to  take  coffee  at  a  roadside  wine-house  at  IMettcrnich  ; 
we  walked  up  a  steep  liill  through  a  pretty  wood,  and 
took  by  surprise  a  beautiful  plot  of  large  purple  wild 
crocuses,  which  covered  an  open  space  at  the  top;  they 
seemed  out  of  i)lace  and  season,  and  so  did  we.     We 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  131 

brought  home  all  our  handkerchiefs  full,  and  they  lasted 
in  water  very  long,  as  if  for  a  souvenir  of  the  day, — 
that  was  our  last  excursion  from  home,  till  we  went  to 
the  Lurlei ;  for  Hood,  getting  better,  set  to  work  —  it 
was  then  "  all  work  and  no  play,"  but  I  do  not  recollect 
seeing  him  get  through  it  better  —  he  finished  with  good 
spirit-;,  and  boiled  over  afterwards  with  some  droll  sketches 
for  the  work  I  told  you  of.  Talking  of  boiling,  I  must, 
in  self-conceit,  say  that  I  am  improving  decidedly  in  my 
cooking,  having  started  several  things  lately  "in  the  fancy 
line."  Yesterday  morning  I  set  to  work  very  seriously 
to  make  some  potted  beef,  and  succeeded,  httle  thinking 
what  ungrateful  jests  I  should  draw  upon  my  poor  head 
from  Hood. 

Being  proud  of  my  own  fabrication,  I  produced  it  at 
tea,  when  De  Franck  came,  and  then  commenced  the 
jokes  of  the  good-for-nothing.  He  asked  with  apparent 
interest,  how  it  was  made,  and  I  said,  "  I  pounded  it  in  a 
pestle  and  mortar."  "  But,  then,  dear,  we  have  not  got 
one,  you  know." 

In  short,  he  insisted  that,  like  the  Otaheitan  cooks,  I 
had  chewed  it  small ;  and  as  I  happened,  having  the  face- 
ache,  to  put  my  hand  to  my  jaw  at  the  time,  it  seemed  a 
corroboration,  of  which  he  made  full  use.  Upon  this 
hint,  he  huddled  joke  upon  joke,  till  we  were  convulsed 
with  laughter,  and  to-day  Franck  declares  he  laughed  in 
the  middle  of  the  night.  Plood  called  it  "  Bullock  jam," 
and  when  I  asked  him  what  he  would  eat,  he  replied 
"  what  you  chews:'  To  be  sure,  an  ox  here,  after  he  lias 
been  in  his  time  a  plough-horse,  a  dray-horse,  ami  a 
horse  of  all-work,  might  give  an  Ogress  the  face-ache. 


132  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

I  have  also  attempted  a  mince-pie  on  a  large  scale,  which 
was  so  relished  that  the  baker  abstracted  half  the  con- 
tents before  it  was  baked.  Talking  of  mince-meat,  the 
Lieutenant  tells  us  a  very  active  poison  has  been  discov- 
ered in  German  black-puddings,  of  course  from  the  blood 
being  in  a  bad  state.  There  have  been  several  martyrs. 
This  bit  of  information  is  aimed  at  the  Doctor,  —  Hood 
hopes  it  would  hit  him  in  the  stomach. 


Hood  desires  me  to  say  he  will  write  to  you  without 
expecting  you  to  be  a  correspondent,  but  there  is  at  pres- 
ent no  news  worth  postage.  He  is  busy  collecting  mate- 
rials, which  Head  has  let  slip  out  of  his  head.  *  *  * 
Did  you  ever  hear  of  bathing  in  malt  ?  It  is  a  German 
remedy.  You  see  written  up  here,  "  Beer  Brewery,  and 
Bath  House,"  —  Hood  will  have  it  they  bathe  in  the 
beer.  As  you  recommend  porter  sometimes,  he  sends 
you  tliis  hint,  and  of  course,  as  Head  insists,  the  patient 
will  take  care  "  to  put  the  head  under,"  with  the  mouth 
open ;  pray  prescribe  it,  perhaps  an  object  that  went  in 
wliite  and  meagre,  would  come  out  "  brown  stout ; "  he 
thinks  little  children  may  be  done  in  the  small  beer. 

Dr.  B.  is  going  to  London  in  the  summer,  he  said  to 
me  when  my  eye  was  bad,  "  In  Germanee  we  do  cure 
everything,  all  but  Death,  that  is  the  divine  law."  We 
asked  him  \}ovf  they  cured  the  typhus  fever,  and  he  said, 
"  Oh  !  to  be  sure  witii  cold  water !  "  De  Franck  says, 
some  time  back,  they  prescribed  the  same  remedy  for 
everything,  and  every  pump  in  the  place  was  an  apothe- 
cary. 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.       133 

Pray  accept  our  best  thanks,  and  kindest  regards,  and 
believe  me, 

My  dear  Mrs,  Elliot, 

Yours  very  sincerely, 

Jane  Hood. 

The  steam-packets  commenced  coming  up  the  Rhine 
to-day,  and  the  bridge  is  up  again.  One  seems  more 
comfortable  at  these  signs  of  better  weather,  though  it 
may  be  long  ere  the  Dampschiffe  bring  any  friends  to  us, 
and  seldom  that  we  cross  the  bridge.  Hood  and  De 
Franck  are  talking  of  wonders  they  are  to  do  in  the  fish- 
ing line  (not  meant  for  a  pun).  The  perch  are  very  fine 
and  at  St.  Goar  we  saw  the  salmon  jump,  and  they  say 
they  are  to  be  caught  with  a  line.  I  think  Hood  is  lay- 
ing out  for  more  than  he  will  have  time  for :  he  must,  if 
he  has  health,  travel  for  his  new  book  ;  and  then  the  other 
Comic  will  have  to  come  out  earlier  if  possible. 

I  have  been  amused  during  my  needle-hours  by  Hood 
reading  some  French  books,  which  we  get  at  a  library 
here,  but  they  have  no  more,  so  that  the  stock  is  almost 
run  through.  When  I  read  the  Athenasunl  I  long  to  see 
the  new  books  spoken  of.  I  could  relish  the  sweepings 
even  of  Mr.  Dilke's  study;  there  are  several  libraries 
here,  but  no  English  books.  I  have  quite  a  thirst  for 
new  books,  we  often  speculate  on  how  we  shall  behave 
on  our  return  to  England. 

Hood's  is  rather  a  greedy  style  —  he  says  he  will  stop 
at  some  coffee-house  directly  he  lands  and  have  some 
bread  and  cheese  and  porter,  and,  then  he  will  call  at  "Wil- 
liams' noted  shop   at  the   Old    liailoy   for   boiled   beef. 


134  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

This  is  shockingly  John  Bullish,  is  it  not  ?  My  dear  lit- 
tle boy  splutters  out  with  much  anger  Gradle's  washing 
of  bones,  with  fried  onions  and  potatoes,  which  she  calls 
soup.  The  other  day  she  took  him  to  tlie  butcher's  Avith 
her  —  on  their  return  while  talking  with  her,  I  saw  hini 
looking  distressed,  and  quite  heaving  with  something  odi- 
ous to  him,  and  upon  inquiry,  I  found  he  had  got  some 
brown  bread  given  him  by  the  butcher's  frau,  with  fat- 
skimmings  of  the  water  they  boil  their  sausages  in,  spread 
like  butter  upon  it.  I  felt  very  angry.  However  he 
shows  such  signs  of  a  good  spirit  of  his  own,  that  I  think 
he  will  not  submit  to  such  feedings  as  that  again. 

I  hope  that  your  dear  little  baby  goes  on  well,  and 
that  your  fine  boys  are  flourishing  around  you.  Willie 
must  have  enjoyed  all  the  novelties  you  had  to  tell  him. 

Children  of  intellect  are  delightful  listeners,  I  think  — 
only  sometimes  their  questions  are  puzzling  and  difficult 
to  answer. 

Have  you  seen  anything  of  the  new  residents  at  Lake 
Mouse  ?  If  you  have,  speak  of  them  when  you  write 
next.  Heaven  send  they  have  the  taste  to  leave  that 
lovely  garden  untouched,  of  which  I  cannot  help  think- 
ing with  regret,  and  also  the  drawing-room :  the  house 
has  been  repaired,  we  have  heard.  Pray  write  soon, 
remembering  that  your  last  bears  d.ite  October  14th. 

Tell  us  all  about  yourselves,  and  the  children.  You 
cannot  tell  what  a  treat  letters  are  to  us,  especially  after 
the  long  famine  we  have  endured. 

Think  of  this  and  of  the  poor  exiles,  and  write,  write, 
write  to  far  Germany.  I  mean  to  be  so  gay  as  to  go  to 
the  play  here,  which  is  three  times  a  week.     They  play 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  133 

an  opera  called  the  "  Zampfer,"  which  is  very  fine 
music,  they  say ;  and  they  finish  early,  which  is  very 
pleasant  for  me,  who  cannot  depend  upon  Gradle's  care 
of  the  children. 

I  must  conclude,  as  the  post-time  nears.  Please  give 
our  compliments  to  Mr.  Maiden.  God  bless  you  all. 
The  best  wishes  of  the  season  to  you. 

Believe  me  ever,  my  dearest  Mrs.  Elliot, 
Your  affectionate  friend, 

Jane  Hood. 

372,  Castor  Hof,  Slst  January,  1836. 
My  dear  Wright, 

"We  have  been  anxiously  waiting  to  see  our  promised 
parcel,  and  as  it  has  not  come  at  this  present  writing,  I 
have  made  up  my  mind  to  let  you  know,  fearing  it  may 
have  stuck  at  some  of  the  custom  houses  on  its  way 
through.  Should  it  have  been  despatched,  pray  let  us 
have  all  the  particulars,  that  I  may  try  to  recover  it. 
You  may,  however,  have  heard  of  the  ice ;  if  so,  and  it 
has  deterred  you  from  sending,  I  am  now  able  to  tell  you 
that  the  ice  is  all  gone,  our  bi'idge  will  be  up  again,  if  it 
is  not  already,  and  the  papers  announce  that  the  Rhine 
steamboats  will  start  for  the  season  to-morrow. 

I  have  been  very  anxious  —  for  except  your  last  be- 
fore Christmas,  we  have  only  had  the  hack  letters,  and 

those  by  Mrs.  L ,  which  came  to  us  on  New  Year's 

Eve.  I  long  to  know  what  luck  my  book  has  had.  It 
seems  odd  to  nie  not  to  have  seen  the  Comic  yet ;  but 
judging  from  the  fragments  sent,  which  I  had  not  time  to 
look  at  before  I  last  wrote,  it  ia  excellently  got  up  on  all 


136  MEJrORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

hands,  myself  included.  The  cuts  come  very  well  in- 
deed, and  the  text  seems  very  correct :  quite  as  much  so 
as  /  could  have  made  it.  As  this  is  only  a  business 
letter,  I  must  refer  to  the  Dilkes  for  particularities  as  to 
our  domestic  concerns,  they  have  each  had  long  epistles. 

I  think  I  told  you  De  Franck  is  come  back  for  good. 
He  fishes,  and  means  to  fish  more,  in  the  Rhine  and  Mo- 
selle, as  there  are  really  good  fish ;  both  sport  and  profit 
may  be  looked  for  here  (where  we  are  very  badly  off  for 
sea-fish,  even  salted).  Perch,  Barbel,  Roach,  Jack,  and 
higher  up,  even  Salmon,  and  a  peculiar  fish,  not  Engli>-;h  : 
rod  and  line  fishing  is  free.  De  Franck  wants  a  few 
things,  and  I  want  an  outfit  for  bait  fishing,  I  do  not  pretend 
to  troll,  or  throw  a  fly  ;  do  as  you  judge  best  for  me.  Pray 
do  not  forget  to  send  me  plenty  of  blocks,  as  I  shall  have 
much  use  for  them  —  I  have,  however,  a  present  supply. 
I  do  much  wish,  and  almost  hope  you  may  come  this 
spring.  You  may  pay  in  London,  per  the  "  Batavier," 
the  whole  fare  here,  which  is  the  cheapest  way ;  with  lib- 
erty of  staying  at  any  place  on  the  road  a  few  days,  as  at 
Rotterdam,  Nimeguen,  or  Cologne,  and  then  on  again. 
Should  you  come,  I  project  some  pedestrian  rambles,  in- 
land—  to  see  the  people  and  country.  —  I  know  enough 
German  now  to  get  along  like  He. 

I  keep  my  health  tolerably  well,  and  hope  to  be  better. 
The  winter  has  tried  us  all  with  colds,  coughs,  face-aches, 
&c.,  and  Tom  has  had  the  measles,  but  mildly.  As  011a- 
pod  recommends,  I  am  faking  my  "spring  physic"  — 
(N.  B.  I  am  my  own  M.  D.)  —  and  mean  to  go  into  men- 
tal and  bodily  training  for  a  good  campaign.  It  is  a  great 
thing  for  us,  De  Franck's  return,  in  every  sense,  for  he 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  137 

will  save  us  from  a  great  deal  of  imposition,  of  which  the 
honest  Germans  hereabout  are  too  fond.  And  he  is  a 
verj  good  fellow  as  a  companion,  without  thinking  that 
he  is  our  only  one.  I  must  cut  this  short,  for  Franck  is 
come,  and  we  have  to  get  him  to  scold  Gradle,  and  give 
her  warning.  She  gave  us  a  message  from  her  priest, 
and  when  we  sent  her  out  with  the  chicks  this  momin"-, 
she  took  them  to  church.  So  we  mean  to  protest  as  good 
Protestants,  and  Jane  is  quite  a  Luther  at  it.  My  kind 
regards  to  Mrs.  Wright,  and  all  of  your  name,  and  all 
friends  of  other  names.  Kiss  my  Godson,  and  "  Prosit 
neu  jahr ! "  from 

Dear  "Wright,  yours  ever  truly, 

Thos.  Hood. 

P.  S.  Postage  is  not  dear.  Pray  let  us  know  how 
matters  go  on.  We  have  not  the  thousand  and  one  occu- 
pations and  acquaintances,  and  so  on,  to  divert  our  anxie- 
ties like  those  of  your  great  city :  and  molehills  seem 
mountains.  Franck  swears  that  potted  beef  story  kept 
him  laughing  all  night.     "  Ah  Clued  !  " 

At  Hekr  Deubel's, 
752,  Alten  Graben,  Coblenz,  June  2Qth,  1836. 

Mt  dear  Dilke, 
IMany,  many  thanks  for  your  letter,  and  the  kind  in- 
terest and  trouble  it  evidences  on  my  behalf.  They  are 
such  as  I  might  have  expected  from  the  best  and  last 
friend  I  saw  in  England,  and  the  tirst  I  hope  to  meet 
again.     *     *     *     * 

We  are   in  much  better  lodgings,  at  the  same  cost, 


138  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

tlioiigh  our  address,  literally  translated,  is  at  "  Mr.  Dev- 
il's, in  the  Old  Grave."  "We  are  now  near  the  Moselle 
bridge,  in  a  busy,  amusing  street,  but  out  of  the  town  in 
three  minutes'  walk. 

We  did  not  part  with  Miss  Seil  without  some  serio- 
comic originality  in  her  struggles  between  extortion  and 
civility.  One  moment  she  kissed  Jane  like  a  sister,  and 
the  next  began  a  skirmish.  First  came  Suspicion  that, 
as  we  left  a  little  before  the  time  agreed  on,  we  would 
not  pay  up  to  it.  Satisfied  on  that  point,  Content  fell  to 
kissing.  Then  Memory  suggested  we  had  broken  two 
or  three  old  chairs  and  a  glass,  but  finding  we  had  re- 
placed or  sent  them  to  be  mended  ourselves,  she  fired  a 
fresh  salute.  Away  we  went,  and  then,  Avarice  prompt- 
ing, she  sent  a  volley  of  chairs,  «S:c.,  we  had  not  broken, 
to  be  repaired,  and  requested  the  use  of  the  rooms. 
That  promised  so  soon  as  we  should  have  cleared  out 
and  cleaned  up,  she  fell  to  compliments  again ;  but  snif- 
fing that  she  meant  to  whitewash,  repair,  and  brush  up 
at  our  cost,  we  were  obliged,  in  self-defence,  to  hold  the 
keys.  Thereupon  she  had  the  locks  picked,  and  set  to 
work,  and  hinted  she  would  favour  me  with  the  bills. 
So  I  entered  into  the  correspondence,  and  as  she  had 
sent  Jane  a  quantity  of  notes  in  German,  I  thought  it 
only  fair  to  give  her  one  in  English,  which  I  knew  she 
must  carry  half  over  the  town  to  get  translated,  and  tlien, 
I  fear,  it  will  not  be  very  flattering.  I  pointed  out  to 
her  that  she  had  no  right  to  both  rooms  and  rent,  and  as 
])icking  locks  is  a  grave  offence  in  Prussia,  she  must 
have,  and  had,  presumed  on  a  foreigner's  ignorance  of 
its  laws.     This  has  shut  her  mouth,  and  stopped  the  bills, 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.       139 

and  also  the  hilling.  Gradle  marched  on  the  1st  of 
March  (military  again),  and',  I  am  sorry  to  say,  made  a 
bad  end.  First,  as  Tom  didn't  at  all  want  physic,  she 
showed,  or  let  him  find  his  way  (whilst  his  mother  was 
out)  to  the  cupboard  "  wot  holds  the  honey-pot."  Sec- 
ondly, having  "  vained  de  Bibi,"  she  did  her  best  to  un- 
vain  him  again,  and  set  him  roaring  all  at  once  after  his 
"  Mutter."  Thirdly,  as  Fanny  had  the  face-ache,  she 
opened  all  the  windows  directly  our  backs  were  turned, 
and,  having  taken  a  fit  of  cleanliness,  she  was  busy  one 
day  brushing  down  the  dust  from  the  ceiling  and  walls 
over  Missis's  gowns.  She  had  warning  for  the  1st  of 
March,  but,  as  Jane  is  as  unlucky  as  "  Joe,"  *  this  of  all 
years  was  leap  year.  It  is  too  certain  the  dear  departed 
made  a  per-centage  on  everything  she  bought  for  us.  I 
declined  to  sign  a  certificate  of  honesty  Vertue  had  given 
her,  so  she  cast  her  eyes  on  Joseph,  the  carpenter,  whom 
she  got  to  marry  her,  induced  by  the  fortune  of  a  "bibi " 
two  years  old,  and  150  dollars  saved  out  of  the  60  she 
had  received  from  Vertue  and  us.  Joseph's  mother, 
whom  he  partly  supported,  dying  opportunely  the  day 
before  she  left  us,  the  wedding  was  fixed  for  the  fort- 
night after  the  funeral ;  but,  owing  to  some  mysterious 
interdict  of  the  priest,  did  not  take  place  till  a  fortnight 
later.    • 

We  have  now  a  servant  with  a  seven  years'  character, 
and  the  consequence  is  everything  is  much  cheaper, 
albeit  she  is  not  a  good  bargainer.  Of  course,  thougli 
we  do  not  quarrel,  we  have  plenty  of  misunderstandings. 

*  "  I'nlucky  Joe,"  is  the  best  character  in  my  father's  novel,  "  Tyl- 
ney  Hall."  —  T.  H. 


140  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

"We  have  changed  our  butcher,  and  gained  a  penny  per 
pound  ;  ditto  laundress,  and  saved  nearly  a  dollar  a  week. 
In  short,  Jane,  whatever  be  her  political  principles,  is  a 
practical  reformer;  and  I  look  on  with  a  Conservative 
eye,  lest  the  spirit  of  change  should  go  on  madly  too  far, 
and  I  be  Skeltoned  like  the  rest. 

By  the  bye,  I  do  not  wonder  at  the  separation  of  that 

worthy  couple,  the  s.     I  should  rather  think  they 

never  met  —  or,  at  least,  only  like  the  Rhine  and  Mo- 
selle, which  show  a  very  decided  inclination  to  keep 
themselves  to  themselves  from  the  first  moment  of  union. 
Jane  and  I,  however,  take  the  warning,  and  shall  be  par- 
ticularly careful  of  quarrelling,  as  she  has  not  '■^  a  piano" 
to  be  the  harmonious  means  of  bringing  us  tO":ethcr 
again. 

As  for  "  chimney  ornaments "  (except  a  very  tall, 
long-nosed  gentleman  in  black,  remarkably  like  our 
English  "  devil,"  who  sweeps  for  all  Coblenz),  we  have 
not  even  a  chimney-piece.  The  climbing  boy  here  is 
really  one  of  the  finest  men  in  the  place.  He  sweeps 
the  chimney,  —  the  long  iron  pipes  of  the  stoves  are 
cleared  by  a  live  Friesland  hen,  a  sort  of  fowl  which 
has  its  feathers  turned  back  the  wrong  way.  When  she 
is  in  the  pipe  a  fire  is  made,  and  the  heat  forces  her  to 
make  her  way  into  the  chimney  with  the  soot  among  her 
ruffled  feathers.  Slie  then  cries  "  grauchschlacht !  "  which 
is  the  German  for  "  all  up  ! "  and  this  is  at  least  as  true 
as  some  bits  of  Von  Raumcr. 

I  am  writing  this  gossip  partly  to  amuse  Mrs.  Dilke. 
The  barber-surgeon  I  settled  with  thus  :  He  wrote  that 
in  consideration  that  I  might  not  be  able  to  afford  it,  he 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.       14^ 

consented  to  take  one  dollar  instead  of  two.  To  which  I 
replied,  that  I  merely  resisted  an  imposition,  and  should 
hand  over  the  difference  to  the  poor.  This  I  did  to  the 
poor  of  Arjheim,  near  Ehrenbreitstein,  where  280  have 
suifered  from  scarlet  fever ;  and  a  subscription  was  opened 
by  public  appeal  from  the  over-burgomaster  of  Cob- 
lenz,  and  is  now  closed,  after  two  months'  collection, 
having  raised  twelve  pounds  !  —  a  smallish  amount  for  a 
city  containing  a  governor-general,  two  commandants, 
over  and  under-presidents,  ditto  burgomasters,  and  about 
twenty-five  to  thirty  carriage  families,  and  many  rich 
tradesmen  :  but  these  are  anything  but  the  honest,  con- 
scientious, liberal,  orderly,  warm-hearted,  intellectual 
Germans  we  give  the  country  just  credit  for.  The 
Coblenzers  have  other  attributes.  To  return  to  my  leech- 
gatherer.  I  do  not  intend  to  want  again  either  physician 
or  apothecary.  I  am  no  believer  in  astrological  conjunc- 
tions, but  I  must  insist  on  a  sinister  aspect  in  that  case. 
A  Jew  doctor  playing  iq^o  the  hands  of  his  brother-in-law, 
the  apothecary,  who  has  been  described  beforehand  by 
"  Gil  Bias,"  viz. :  "  He  goes  strictly  to  mass,  but  at  the 
bottom  of  his  heart  he  is  a  Jew,  like  Pilate,  for  he  has 
become  Catholic  through  interest." 

As  Jews  must  not  be  apothecaries  here,  and  Hebrews 
do  not  forgive  apostacy  in  their  own  brothers  even,  I  fear 
their  good  understanding  must  be  allowed  to  be  ominous. 
Now  for  a  bit  of  farce  in  one  of  the  same  tribe.  He 
came  to  me  to  draw  up  an  advertisement  for  hira  in 
English,  on  the  strength  of  which,  I  suppose,  he  has  set 
up  here  as  Professor  of  Philosophy  and  JCnglish. 
Frauck  knows  an  ollicer  who  has  learned,  and  he  cannot 


142  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

understand  his  English  at  all.  The  oflficer  will  have  his 
revenge  when  he  has  to  drill  the  Professor !  We  are 
now  more  au  fait  here,  but  we  have  to  fight  every  inch. 
I  am  now  in  health  and  spirits  and  do  not  mind  it ;  but  I 
wish,  for  the  sake  of  the  lovely  country  I  am  now  able 
to  enjoy,  I  could  come  to  other  conclusions.  I  am  not 
writing  from  si^leen  or  prejudice,  or  resentment  at  the 
loss  of  money,  but  to  give  you  my  cool  and  deliberate 
impressions  for  your  guidance ;  and  a  resident  has  pe- 
culiar opportunities  for  observation.  Prejudice  be 
hanged  !  and  I  will  help  to  pull  its  legs.  But  I  want  fair 
play  for  my  countrymen,  against  whom  there  is  much 
illiberal  feeling,  Avhich  is  the  more  annoying,  because 
Germans  from  other  parts,  who  think  well  of  us,  are 
surprised  to  find  ojiinion  against  us  on  the  Rhine  where 
it  would  be  presumed  we  are  so  well  known.  As  a 
sample  of  what  I  mean,  there  is  Schreiber's  sketch  of 
"  Die  Englander  in  Baden  "  referred  to  in  your  No.  431 
of  the  "  Athenajum,"  which  I  wish  had  fallen  to  my  lot 
to  review.  I  would  have  answered  him  with  facts.  The 
charge  that  the  rectitude  of  many  of  the  English  is  not  to 
be  uniformly  depended  upon  is  a  grave  one,  on  which  I 
might  retort  fairly  from  my  own  experience  as  equivalent 
to  his ;  and  choose  for  my  motto,  in  a  new  sense,  "  Be- 
ware —  for  there  are  counterfeits  abroad."  With  few 
exceptions  judging  from  those  I  have  had  to  do  with,  I 
should  put  them  in  two  great  classes  — Jew  Germans,  and 
German  Jews.  It  may  seem  a  harsh  verdict,  but  it  h  forced 
upon  me.  As  for  the  English  quarrelling  about  coach- 
men's fares,  &c.,  it  is  hardly  worthy  a  traveller  to  squab- 
ble about  petty  over-charges,  but  extortions  may  become 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  143 

too  gross  and  palpable  to  put  up  with.  There  is  all  alon"' 
shore  here,  now-a-days  at  least,  a  sharking,  grasping  ap- 
petite, which  gi'owing  by  what  it  feeds  on,  has  become 
ogre-like  ;  and  knowing  the  English  to  be  rich,  they  have 
not  known  where,  prudently,  or  with  good  policy,  to  stop. 
There  was  a  colonel  here,  the  other  day  only,  crying  out, 
naturally,  at  being  charged  in  this  cheap  country  five 
shillings  for  a  bed;  the  landlord  of  the  hotel  in  question 
chose  at  the  Carnival  to  burlesque  an  English  family 
travelling :  he  has  told  me,  the  English  are  by  far  his 
best  customers,  but  the  ridicule  was  congenial  to  the  spirit 
of  the  inhabitants.  The  truth  is,  we  are  marked  for 
plunder ;  and  laughed  at,  for  the  facility  with  which  we 
are  plucked,  as  if  it  were  a  matter  of  diificulty  to  cheat 
those,  who  in  some  degree  confide  in  you  —  for  we  do 
generally  set  forth  with  a  strong  prepossession  in  favour 
of  German  honesty.  I  believe  in  it  myself,  but  not  here, 
where  the  very  peasantry  (whom  I  like)  seem  to  lose  it. 
The  other  day  a  woman,  who  used  to  sell  us  a  sort  of 
curd  cheese,  taking  advantage  of  Fanny,  who  carried  the 
money,  took  six  instead  of  three  groschen,  and  has  never 
since  put  in  an  appearance.  Again,  a  man,  who  left  a 
flower  for  Jane's  approval,  who  declined  it,  called  for  it 
over  night  quite  drunk,  took  it  away,  brought  it  back 
next  morning,  and  made  her  pay  for  it  because  a  bud 
was  broken  !  these  two  are  within  ten  days.  Schreiber 
taunts  residents  like  ourselves  with  "  a  petty  and  ridicu- 
lous economy,"  but  it  is  mere  resistance  to  extortion 
directed  pointedly  against  the  English.  I  never  will 
concede  that  the  rule,  that  we  are  to  be  robbed,  only  be- 
cause we  are,  or  are  supposed  to  be,  rich,  is  anything  but 


144  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

a  brigand  feeling.  Yet  so  it  is.  There  is  a  separate 
tariff,  well-understood,  and  tacitly  acted  upon,  so  that  you 
shall  see  an  English  and  German  gentleman  sitting  at 
the  same  table  d'hote,  eating  the  same  dinner,  and  drink- 
ing the  same  wine,  but  at  very  different  cost!  It  is  quite 
a  freemasonry,  and  the  very  figures  in  the  carte  stand 
for  several  amounts.  One  night  w^e  sent  for  a  bill  of 
fare  for  supper,  and  De  Franck  pointed  out  to  me  roast 
beef,  (in  English)  four  groschen,  and  directly  under  it, 
the  same  dish,  (in  German)  three  groschen.  These 
things  are  somewhat  repulsive  to  those  who  happen  to 
be  their  guests,  should  they  chance  to  find  besides  that 
their  character  is  attacked  as  unfairly  as  their  purse.  I 
hnoio  that  they  retail  stories  about  us,  which  have  false- 
hood on  the  face  of  them,  such  as  the  Bible  story  in 
Schreibgr,  which  is  altogether  out  of  keeping.  As  to 
our  getting  into  rows  and  trespassing,  I  used  to  watch 
the  steamer's  arrival,  and  never  saw  a  disturbance,  but 
with  a  German  lady,  accused  by  the  steward  of  secreting 
a  spoon.  But  that  Englishmen  might  get  into  rows  I 
think  very  possible,  and  natural ;  I  expect  it  myself. 
The  lower  class,  not  mere  thieves  and  vagabonds  like 
Londoners,  but  apprentices,  workmen,  and  boys  almost 
well-dressed,  are  blackguardly  disposed. 

Fisliing  has  brought  me  in  contact  with  them.  I  have 
never  been  without  annoyance,  and  it  is  positively  unsafe 
to  stand  within  pelt  of  the  Mosel  bridge.  Those  officers, 
who  have  taken  to  it  after  our  example  at  Ehrenbreit- 
stein,  have  positively  had  to  post  men  to  defend  them 
from  large  sticks  and  stones.  I  hope,  as  the  clown  says, 
here  be  facts.     Good  or  bad  politically,  the  making  all 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  145 

men  soldiers  serves  to  lick  these  cubs  into  human  shape ; 
it  makes  them  cut  their  hair,  wash  themselves,  and  be- 
have decently,  in  fact  as  Puckler  Muskau  says,  the  men, 
who  have  served,  and  those  who  have  not,  are  different 
animals  indeed.  I  wish  I  could  with  honesty  write  more 
in  the  tone  of  Mrs.  Trollope,  whose  book,  by  the  way,  I 
have  just  read;  but  although  so  treacley,  it  does  not 
please  the  natives.  Heaven  knows  why,  for  she  does  not 
object  to  one  thing  in  Prussia,  but  the  smoking.  She  is 
however,  wrong  there  in  one  point,  as  may  be  gathered 
from  the  pretty  strong  sentiments  she  puts  into  the 
mouths  of  the  German  girls  against  pipes.  A  likely 
matter  when  they  have  been  used  to  sniff  "  bachj  "  from 
the  father,  who  took  them  first  on  his  knees,  to  the  broth- 
er they' played  with. 

On  the  contrary,  and  quite  the  reverse,  they  embroider 
tobacco  bags  for  presents  to  the  young  gentlemen  as 
English  girls  knit  purses.  But  so  Anti-English  a  writer 
as  Mrs.  T.,  who  never  omits  an  opportunity  of  letting 
down  her  countrymen,  might  be  expected  to  be  blind  to 
the  Anti-English  feeling  abundant  in  these  parts.  There 
is  no  doubt  of  its  existence,  I  manage  to  read  their  pa- 
pers, and  the  tone  is  the  same. 

Extracts  for  example  headed,  "  Distress  in  Rich  Eng- 
land." Like  "the  haughty  Isle  of  shopkeepers,"  a 
phrase  made  use  of  by  Schreiber.  'Tis  the  mark  of 
the  beast ;  they  covet  our  riches,  they  resent  our  politi- 
cal influence,  and  perhaps  are  jealous  of  the  distinction 
shown  to  the  English  in  some  of  the  highest  quarters. 
In  spite  of  Kaumer  (a  jewel  by  the  way)  I  think  the 

spirit  enters  into  our  commerce, 
vol,.  I.  7  J 


146  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

The  merchant  here,  I  had  your  wine  of,  said  he  did 
not  hope  for  any  reduction  of  our  duties  on  their  wines, 
because  the  Prussian  Tariff  is  so  very  unfavourable  to 
us.  Our  goods  are  in  request,  so  that  even  they  simu- 
late English  labels,  &c.,  «S:c.,  but  I  think  their  introduc- 
tion is  not  coveted  by  the  powers.  My  little  package 
Avas  detained  some  time  at  the  frontier,  on  the  frivolous 
pretext,  that  the  weight  of  every  article,  a  fish-hook  for 
instance,  was  not  specified.  I  believe  the  tariff  is  also 
adverse  to  French  and  Italians ;  all  I  know  is,  many  of 
their  products  are  bad  and  dear :  say,  oranges  from  two 
pence  halfpenny  to  od.  a  piece ;  salad  oil  dear  and  exe- 
crable, &c.,  &c.  And  now  to  Schreiber  again ;  I  take 
his  for  my  text-book,  because  he  represents  the  mass. 
Their  usual  ridicule  of  our  habits,  &c.,  might  fairly  and 
■with  interest  be  retaliated.  For  instance  an  Englishman 
with  coat-pockets  "  big  enough  to  hold  a  couple  of  folios," 
is  no  more  ridiculous  a  figure  than  a  German  with  ditto 
capacious  enough  for  a  pipe  and  a  bag  of  tobacco ;  but 
this  far  from  unusual  sneer  at  our  literary  and  reading 
propensity  is  somewhat  misplaced  in  Intellectual  Ger- 
many the  country  of  Goethe.  A  book  here  seems  a  bug- 
bear. I  think  I  told  you  of  the  remark  of  the  Jew  Doc- 
tor on  seeing  a  "Times"  paper;  in  the  same  style  my 
new  Doctor  took  up  the  "  Athenaeum,"  supposing  it  to  be 
a  monthly. 

"When  I  said,  "  weekly,"  he  threw  up  his  hands  and 
eyes,  and  wondered  how  we  found  time  for  it.  Time, 
however,  is  the  thing  least  wanted  here,  for  they  do  not 
live  at  our  rate,  and  consequently  have  more  leisure  ;  but 
it  is  not  "  learned  leisure,"  from  simple  want  of  will. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  147 

They  prefer  the  Virginian  to  other  leaves,  —  and  vol- 
umes of  smoke. 

The  "  Rhein  und  Mosel  Zeitiing"  supplies  them  with 
abundant  reading,  and  its  standing  articles,  probably 
therefore  favorite  ones,  are  on  beet-root,  sugar,  and  rail- 
roads. 

Their  talk  is  of  thalers,  thalers,  thalers,  except  when 
they  smoke  in  the  hotels  of  a  night,  or  at  the  Casino,  and 
then  the  Quakers  could  not  hold  a  more  silent  Conversa- 
zione. 

Galignani  is  prohibited,  and  the  only  English  papers 
allowed  are  the  "  Globe,"  "  Courier,"  and  the  "  Albion," 
or  some  such  name.  So  much  for  the  Intellectuals.  Per- 
sonally I  cannot  complain,  for  a  Colonel  has  translated 
my  Eugene  Aram  for  his  wife,  having  heard  of  it  through 
Bulwer's  novel :  Bulwcr  (who  is  a  demi-god  here)  and 
the  Pfennig  Magazine,  and  native  works  on  medicine 
and  mechanical  arts,  are  the  main  bulk  advertised  here, 
but  I  guess  not  much  sold.  Another  fact,  and  I  quit  the 
subject.  Tlie  extorting  spirit  is  known  and  admitted  by 
some  of  the  better  class  —  Jane,  at  request  from  the  other 
side,  has  formed  a  very  agreeable  intimacy  with  a  Miss 

von  B ,  who  was  educated  at  Nieuwiiid,  and  speaks 

tolerable  English.  She  volunteered  to  accompany  Jane  to 
buy  anything,  saying  she  knew  the  English  were  imposed 
on,  and  informed  her  that  her  late  father,  a  lieutenant- 
general,  paid  Dr. at  the  rate  of  ten  silber  groschen 

or  a  shilling  a  visit.  He  charged  me  forty-live,  or  four 
shillings  and  sixpence  a  visit,  for  being  an  l-2nglisliman. 
"What  follows  is,  I  think,  conclusive  as  to  wliat  I  Iiave 
said  of  a  sort  of  free-masonry,  &c.     I  hapi)oned  to  doubt 


148  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

whether  the  majors  and  captains  here  could  afford  to  keep 

up  such  equipages  on  their  pay,  when  F referred  me 

to  another  officer  (of  ancient  Polish  family),  I  have  met, 
and  he  frankly  told  me  that  they  could.  But  supposing  a 
major  with  family,  &c.,  to  make  a  certain  appearance,  and 
live  in  a  certain  style  on  his  pay  2000  dollars,  I  must  at 
onceybr  the  same  things  set  down  1000  more  for  being  an 
Englishman. 

It  follows  that  tradesmen,  inn-keepers,  all  who  have 
to  do  with  tlie  English,  exact  a  profit  of  33  per  cent. 
extra,  and  yet  cannot  be  pleased  with  their  customers. 
Suppose  some  English  Schreiber,  in  inditing  a  sketch 
of  the  German  watering-places,  were  to  adopt  the  por- 
tentous text  of  "  take  care  of  your  pockets."  *  Suppose 
he  were  to  end  his  book  with  a  sarcastic  hint  of  Sir 
Peter  Teazle's,  "  I  must  go,  but  I  leave  my  character 
behind  me ! "  I  give  you  the  facts,  because  in  the 
Athenajura  you  are  sometimes  called  upon  as  a  judge, 
between  the  natives  of  both  countries,  as  in  Schreiber's 
case.  I  do  not  want,  like  Jonathan  in  England,  "  a  war, 
and  all  on  my  own  account,"  nor,  Irish-like,  to  whiten 
the  English  by  blackening  the  Germans.  Above  all, 
I  speak  only  of  what  I  have  seen  and  know,  or  have 
heard  from  good  witnesses,  and  my  locale  is  Coblenz ; 
though  the  same  thing  may  prevail  on  the  other  routes 

*  My  father  enlarged  on  this  text  in  "  Up  tlic  Rhine,"  where  he 
gives  a  song,  one  verse  of  wliich  I  extract.  —  T.  H. 

"  Ye  Tourists  and  Travellers  bound  to  the  Rhine, 
Provided  with  passport,  that  requisite  docket, 
First  listen  to  one  little  wliispcr  of  mine, 
Take  cnrc  of  your  pocket !     Take  cure  of  your  pocket !  " 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  149 

of  the  English,  jyro  ex :  Baden.  It  is  for  you  that  I 
have  set  it  down,  and  I  beg  you  to  believe,  in  no  spite, 
or  resentment,  or  prejudice ;  but  to  put  you  on  your 
guard,  and  prepare  you  for  pei'haps  a  very  altered 
state  of  things  on  the  Rhine,  not  belonging  more  to 
the  natives  than  to  human  nature,  except  in  degree. 
But  I  wished  justice  for  my  countrymen,  and  disclaim 
personal  vengeance,  though  I  confess  to  have  felt  irrita- 
tion. The  tone  of  my  book  will  be  quite  otherwise, 
I  know  it  is  unwelcome  to  read  as  to  write  such  pas-, 
sages,  and  especially  to  introduce  such  actors  on  such 
a  stage,  with  the  Rhine  and  its  mountains  for  the  scene- 
ry. And  moreover  there  is  good  and  beautiful  and 
whimsical  to  discourse  of  pleasantly,  so  pray  read  the 
foregoing  in  the  same  spirit  that  its  author  writ,  and 
then  hand  over  the  substance  of  my  remarks  to  the 
censor  to  be  used  "  as  occasion  may  require."  Fair 
play  is  a  jewel,  and  I  like  to  see  it  set  in  the  "Athe- 
naeum. Besides  I  do  not  know  your  Editor  personally, 
but  I  suspect  him  of  a  little  over-leaning  towards  the 
Germans.  I  picture  him  with  "  an  awful  fell  of  hair," 
and  a  sei'io-comico-raetaphysico-romantico  visage,  mould- 
ed in  brown  bi'ead  made  rather  heavy,  a  big  body  made 
dropsically  corpulent  by  fattening  on  thin  wine,  and 
a  pair  of  stout  legs  of  no  particular  shape,  on  which 
he  partly  walks,  partly  marches,  having  been  drilled 
when  a  student.  Like  Pope  and  Cowper,  and  others 
of  the  learned,  he  wears  a  cap;  but  with  a  conceited 
cock  on  one  side,  and  hangs  a  tassel  from  its  apex. 
On  his  forefinger,  a  huge  ring  with  an  engraved  stone  or 
glass,  that  might  serve  Mrs.  von  D at  a  pinch  for 


150  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

a  jelljmould ;  and  he  has  chains  enough  on  his  bosom 
to  hang  him  in.  His  waistcoat  seems  cut  out  of  the 
train  of  Iris's  court-dress,  set  off  by  a  snuff-brown  coat, 
and  sad-green  breeches  —  a  sort  of  hybrid  between  a 
peacock  and  Minerva's  fowl  —  grave  and  gaudy.  "When 
he  eats,  he  prefers  after  soup  the  meat  that  was  boiled  in 
it  —  a  mere  residuum  —  hke  the  patent  ginless  bread  of 
PimUco.  He  seasons  it  with  mud-coloured  mustard.  He 
drinks  a  wine  so  sharp,  that  like  the  "  Accipe  HocZ; "  of 
.the  Templar,  it  pierces  your  very  vitals.  When  he  is 
awake  he  dreams,  when  he  is  asleep  he  snores  music, 
that,  as  Zelter  says,  by  its  very  noise,  "  reminds  you  of 
the  universal  silence  ! "  If  he  look  pensive  it  is  because 
he  cannot  fathom  the  immeasurable,  grasp  the  infinite,  or 
comprehend  the  incomprehensible.  Should  he  be  a  little 
cracked  he  writes  —  when  he  gels  purblind  he  paints, 
and  you  have  the  portrait  of  his  mistress  the  Muse,  as  a 
little  old  woman  with  red  toads  dropping  out  of  her 
mouth.  Poet  or  Painter,  he  tries  to  be  sublime,  and 
makes  a  monster  a  "  most  ridiculous  monster,"  or  rather 
a  herd  of  monsters,  and  makes  them  act  monstrously, 
like  the  fantastic  shadows  in  Carpenter's  microscope, 
supposing  you  had  mixed  their  drop  of  water  with  a 
ditto  of  brandy.  If  he  smiles,  it  is  with  the  idea  of 
"  reading  much,  learning  much,  and  dying  young  ! "  by 
a  horse-pistol  with  a  leaf  out  of  Bettine  for  wadding. 
Whilst  he  smokes  he  pastoralises ;  drunk,  he  moralises; 
sober,  he  romanticises;  mad,  he  philosophises.  There, 
AVolfgang  von  Dilke,  there 's  a  rally  a  la  Randall,  in 
return  for  your  fighting  me  up  into  a  German  corner. 
By  the  bye  your  notices  made  me  long  to  read  Vou 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  1,51 

Rauraer's  England.  It  must  be  a  capital  book,  but  mc- 
tbiuks  he  is  apt  to  make  azure  of  Prussian  blue.  Yet 
when  I  spoke  of  him  here  to  our  doctor,  he  seemed  not 
to  like  him,  and  said  he  was  considered  a  Jacobin.  For 
example,  too  much  credit  is  taken  as  to  their  contented 
and  tolerant  clergy.  For  instance,  here,  this  is  a  Catho- 
lic province  ;  the  magistrates  and  a  few  more  Lutherans 
must  tolerate  perforce  a  whole  population  nearly  of  un- 
reformed.  Prussia  is  formed  of  many  provinces,  some 
oughts,  and  some  crosses,  like  the  old  game  on  the  slate, 
and  to  be  intolerant  would  be  only  to  set  one  province 
against  another,  "  hey  dog  —  hey  bull ! "  so  that  it 
would  be  dangerous  for  one  party  to  tyrannise  over  the 
other. 

A  thing  occurred  here  the  other  day  that  made  a 
great  sensation :  the  priest  or  cure  refused  to  bury  a 
drawing-master,  who  professed,  but  had  not  attended,  his 
church,  for  many  years.  He  said  he  was  forbidden  by 
the  rules  of  the  Council  of  Trent.  The  Lutheran  min- 
ister was  applied  to,  who  buried  him  at  once,  and  as  it  is 
usual  to  preach  a  funeral  sermon  for  each  defunct,  the 
following  Sunday  his  church  was  crowded  with  Catholics, 
Jews,  and  all  denominations,  who  were  eager  and  curious 
to  hear  how  he  would  treat  the  subject.  He  preached  a 
good  temperate  sermon  on  the  text  "Judge  not,  that  ye 
be  not  judged,"  which  made  a  great  impression.  The 
plan  here,  which  is  good,  is  that  of  both  religions  the 
ministers  are  paid  by  the  King  or  State,  an  arrangement 
I  should  like  for  England  and  Ireland,  —  or  let  every 
oue  pay  their  own,  as  in  America.  As  to  Education,  I 
think  our  Government  does  wisely  not  to  interfere  too 


152  MEMORIALS   OF   TnO]MA.S   HOOD. 

rashly.  Something  may  be  left  to  the  sense  of  the  peo- 
ple. The  infamous  boarding-schools  of  former  times  are 
dying  or  dead,  and  replaced  by  proprietary  ones  without 
Government  interference.  If  they  meddle,  let  it  be  to 
reform  Oxford,  and  the  like  ;  and,  least  of  all,  let  us 
have  the  School  a  dependant  on  the  Church,  —  with  a 
Parson-Usher  in  each,  preaching  and  teaching  German 
philosophical  "  spiritualism,"  and  "  illumination  and  sanc- 
tification,"  which  "  reaches  far  beyond  steam-engines  and 
hydraulic  presses." 

But  even  Von  Raumer  is  not  reliable.  Come  lay  your 
Frankfort  hand,  just  above  your  Heidelberg  or  Darmstadt 
stomach,  on  your  Dresden  heart,  and  tell  us  with  your 
Miinchen  mouth,  do  you  really  believe  the  story  of  the 
factory  boy's  lament  for  pigs  and  poetry  ?  Did  you  ever 
with  your  Ingelheimer  eyes,  on  the  Royal  Birtliday  in 
London,  see  the  innumerable  children  with  flowers  and 
flags,  or  hear  with  your  Langen  Schwalbach  ears  their 
chorus  of  "  God  save  the  King  "  ?  Again  did  you  never 
hear  with  your  Berlin  auriculars,  that  row  of  street 
blackguard  boys  notorious  throughout  Germany,  and 
characteristic  of  the  Prussian  capital,  which  Von  R.  with 
his  national  taste  for  music  calls  "  the  prattle  of  little 
children"? 

As  for  his  quizzes  on  our  cookery  (Mrs.  Dilke,  I  am 
appealing  to  you  and  your  old  cook,  who  went  away  and 
is  come  back  again),  is  English  soup  so  sloppy  that  it 
must  hide  its  Aveakness  by  a  covering  of  pepper  and 
.spice?  Lord  help  the  man!  he  has  been  souping  witli 
the  Sick  Poor  !  I  never  saw  any  soup  or  broth  in  Eng- 
land but  when  cold  was  a  perfect  jelly,  "  as  you  might 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  153 

chuck  over  the  house."  As  for  his  pepperless  rice  soup, 
chacun  a  son  gout,  but  was  not  Bedreddin  Hassan  cap- 
itally sentenced  for  not  putting  pepper  in  a  cream-tart  ? 
What  does  he  mean  by  the  "  monotony  of  our  roast  beef, 
roast  mutton,  roast  veal  "  ?  Why  should  not  roast  beef 
be  roast  beef,  and  always  roast  beef,  like  "  the  bill,  the 
whole  bill,  and  nothing  but  the  bill  ?  "  I  like  that  de- 
cided style.  Is  it  any  better  for  being,  as  here,  roast 
horse,  or  with  rank  oil,  or  turned  butter,  sometimes  like 
roast  "  sea  horse  "  ?  Is  Williams's  boiled  beef  any  the 
worse  for  being  only  boiled  beef,  is  it  better  for  being 
here  like  land  stock-fish  ?  Is  our  roast  veal  worse  than 
theirs  ?  —  how  they  roast  it  is  a  culinary  miracle,  unless 
on  a  lark  spit.  Their  seven-day  calves,  and  seven-year 
porkers  ought,  according  to  Lamb's  celebrated  wish 
about  his  sister,  to  "  throw  their  joint  existences  into  one 
common  heap  ! "  I  defy  you  to  eat  their  roast  mutton 
here,  without  scriptural  reminiscences  of  rams,  and  burnt 
offerings.  And  then  for  his  sauce  about  our  one  sauce 
for  fish,  don't  they  make  pickled  salmon  of  everything 
with  scales,  fresh  or  suit,  with  vinegar,  vinegar,  vinegar  ? 
As  for  his  twaddle  about  Phidias  and  Praxiteles  bein^ 
French  cooks,  and  his  comparison  of  our  joints  to  "  an 
Egyptian  divinity  in  simple  dignified  repose,  with  arms 
and  legs  closely  pinioned  in  the  same  position  ! "  (he  has 
mistaken  a  trussed  turkey  for  a  round  of  beef  or  a  fillet 
of  veal)  I  will  only  say  a  village  jobbing  carpenter  would 
be  ashamed  of  such  a  style !  Egyptian  indeed  !  don't 
they  poison  everything  with  garlic,  and  consume  Egyp- 
tian wages  (onions)  enough  to  build  a  new  set  of  pyra- 
mids.'* Now  for  his  Linnajus  and  Jussieu,  if  our  vege- 
7* 


154  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

tables  do  "  appeal'  in  puris  naturalibus,"  is  it  not  better 
than  if  they  were  in  "zmpuris  naturahbus,"  full  of 
"  snips  and  snails,"  and  the  huge  red  slugs  that  crawl 
about  here,  in  size  and  shape  looking  like  live  German 
sausages  !  How  do  they  dress  vegetables  !  Why  make 
salads  of  them  first,  and  then  boil  them,  or  vice  versa.  I 
do  believe  the  "  Devil  sends  cooks,"  and  they  are  Ger- 
man ones.  The  French  are  artists,  the  Germans  are 
daubers  in  cookery.  They  are  (in  all  that  is  grub-berly) 
lubberly,  blubberly,  and  in  regard  to  cleanliness,  not  over 
scrubberly  !  Was  n't  I  nearly  choked  once  by  fishbones 
amongst  a  dish  of  fried  potatoes  ?  'T  is  fact,  and  did  n't  I 
see  a  starved  dog  refuse  to  take  the  place  and  portion 
of  a  German  gentleman  unexpectedly  absent  from  his 
accustomed  place  at  the  table  d'hote  ?  Von  Dilke  be 
hanged !  Catch  him  having  a  German  cook  at  the 
Clarence !  Have  n't  their  own  doctors  discovered  that 
their  sausages  contain  an  active  poison,  and  is  not  every 
one  of  their  messes  a  slow  one  ?  I  ivill  stand  up  for  our 
English  kitchen,  especially  now  Jane  is  a  cook  in  it. 
Vive   Dr.   Kitchener !   if  he    is  n't   dead :   and  an   echo 

responds  from  Diisseldorf,  very  like  Mrs.  L 's  voice, 

"  Vive  Dr.  Kitchener  !  "  When  she  last  wrote  to  Jane 
she  was  watching  a  hash  with  one  eye,  according  to  his 
"  oracle."  Ask  Head  about  German  cookery,  he  says 
their  sauces  are  always  either  sour  or  greasy,  but  I  have 
gone  a  step  beyond  his  experience,  they  can  be  sour  and 
greasy  too.  And  now  for  a  triumi)liant  clincher  as  to 
tlie  respective  merits  of  German  and  English  cookery. 
There  is  a  sort  of  inesalliance  that  occurs  in  England 
sometimes;  nay  I  know  personally  of  an  instance,  for  W. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  155 

C.  married  the  woman  that  dressed  his  dinner,  but  I  have 
now  before  me  "  Der  Preussiche  Staat,  in  alien  seinen 
Veziehungun,"  an  authentic  work,  and  I  cannot  find  one 
instance  of  a  German,  who  married  his  cook.  This  is 
not  prejudice  but  statistics  !  But  don't  let  this  frighten 
you,  Mrs.  Dilke,  from  coming  here,  lest  you  should  have 
to  feast  on  pommes  de  terre  frites.  Jane  can  stew,  and 
boil,  and  roast,  and  bake.  You  should  hear  her  battering 
her  beef-steaks,  as  if  they  were  the  children,  or  see  Tom 
walk  in  with  his  little  wig  powdered  or  floured,  from  his 
mother-sick  fit  having  interfered  with  her  fit  of  pigeon- 
piety.  You  should  hear  De  Franck  congratulating  her 
on  her  high  health,  or  Miss  von  B.  on  her  rosy  English 
complexion,  when  the  real  secret  is  fried  chops.  So  I 
speak  not  complainingly,  but  critically  only,  of  the  na- 
tional cuisine. 

You  must  come  to  the  grand  manoeuvres  (end  of 
August),  which  will  be  well  worth  seeing.  Better  to 
see  than  be  born  to,  say  you.  De  Franck  amused  us 
much  with  his  description  of  drilling  the  Dominies. 
Every  man  here  must  be  a  soldier,  and  two  years  is  the 
rule ;  but  the  school-masters  have  the  indulgence  of  only 
six  weeks  of  it.  But  then  in  those  six  weeks  they  are 
expected  to  become  as  proficient  as  the  "  two  year  olds," 
and  accordingly  they  are  hard  at  it,  soldiering  "from 
morn  till  dewy  eve  "  —  the  poor  sedentaries  !  Franck 
described  them  drawn  up  with  round  shoulders,  bent 
thighs,  and  other  pcdigogical  attributes,  so  weak,  and  so 
bewildered  !  Sometimes  an  unlucky  Dominie  mounting 
guard,  has  even  to  put  up  with  the  gibes,  nay  missiles,  of 
his  quondam  scholars,  whom  he  cannot,  for  once,  punish. 


156  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

Is  it  not  laughable  to  picture  to  oneself?  What  a  sub- 
ject for  me  !  I  must  make  a  new  revolution  at  Stoke 
Pogis,  and  let  the  mayor,  having  been  up  the  Rhine,  at- 
tempt to  form  a  Landwehi-.  You  know  the  place  Dilke, 
just  fancy  Dominie  Sampson,  with  a  musket  on  his  shoul- 
der, standing  at  ease  on  Ehrenbreitstein. 

Pray  tell  Mr.  Reynolds*  what  he  has  escaped  by  being 
born,  as  Dr.  Watts  says,  in  a  Christian  land.  He  is  an 
excellent  Blue,  but  would  not  turn  up  well  with  Red. 
What  a  "  six  weeks'  vacation  !  "  What  a  march  of  mind 
for  the  schoolmasters  abroad  !  It  must  seem  to  them  like 
a  nightmare  dream,  till  assured  of  the  reality,  by  feeling 
instead  of  the  long  flowing  locks,  affected  here  by  the 
student,  the  bald  regulation  nape.  The  situation  must 
seem  as  bewildering  as  Dr.  Pangloss'  with  a  tulip-eared 
bull  puppy  between  his  knees.  Fancy  Westminsterian 
Braine  learning  the  "  brain-spattering  art."    Imagine  Dr. 

Gr mounting  guard  at  the  Mint,  or  Principal  O 

standing  sentinel  by  the  Regent's  bomb,  whistling  "  Lawk 
a'  mercy  on  us,  sure  this  be  not  I,"  with  a  pantomime 
change,  in  the  distance,  of  the  London  University  into 
Sandhurst  College.  Our  doctor's  son  is  doing  duty  as  a 
private  in  De  Franck's  regiment,  so  is  the  son  of  another 
M.  D.,  and  they  are  under  no  slight  apprehension  of  hav- 
ing to  carry  a  knapsack  at  the  review.  How  should  you 
like  a  taste  of  that  same?  Imagine  yourself  wanting  to 
march  in  three  divisions,  \n  request  by  Lord  Hill,  Holmes, 
and  JMr.  Jack  Junk,  at  the  same  time.  Fancy  Wentworth 
dancing  at  one  of  his  mother's  genteelest  parties  in  the 
uniform  of  a  private  of  the  Tower  Hamlets.     And  what 

*  My  grandfiithcr,  heiid  writing-master  at  Christ's  Hospital.  —  T.  U. 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.       157 

a  review  you  would  make  ;  mind,  not  a  criticism.  Your- 
self, with  your  eye-glass,  in  the  Rifles  ;  A.  Cunningham 

in  the  Grenadiers ;   Chorley  in  the  band  ;  H in  the 

Artillery;    T •  a  Lancer;    the  stout   C in   the 

"  Light   Bobs  ; "  and  John  F a  "  worthy  Pioneer." 

Alas  !  for  the  "  Athenaeum  ! "  Mrs.  Dilke  would  have  to 
be  a  suttler !  By  the  bye  we  got  our  present  lodgings  in 
spite  of  the  captain  of  the  — th,  who  would  have  given 
five  dollars  a  year  more  ;  but  his  wife,  a  termagant,  was 
well  known  as  the  "  suttler,"  (her  nickname  amongst 
the  military,)  and  our  landlord  would  not  have  her 
at  no  price.  I  hope  Jane  won't  lower  his  rent  still 
further.     *     *     *     * 

There  are  some  here,  in  appearance  to  the  eye, 
anything  but  gentlemen,  in  the  best  sense  of  the  word. 
You  cannot  mistake  them. 

Perhaps  they  have  got  the  worst  attributes  of  the 
French  Revolution,  a  nominal  equality,  which  puts  the 
low,  base,  vulgar,  and  rich  on  a  false  level  with  ''  God 
Almighty's  gentleman,"  which  rank  I  do  seek  with  all  my 
heart ;  and  endeavour  that  the  English  character  shall 
not  suffer  at  my  hands,  and  though  I  resent,  on  public 
grounds,  what  I  meet  with,  I  am  content  to  be  a  dweller 
here,  whose  character  is  to  be  judged  by  its  own  merits. 
But  I  feel  the  question  gravely,  and  recommend  it  to 

your  consideration.     /  may  be  prejudiced,  but  F is 

a  good  witness.  Give  me  credit  for  honesty,  when  he 
tells  you  he  as  readily  fights,  what  you  may  call,  my 
prejudices,  as  those  of  the  Germans.  After  all,  cni 
bono,  what  I  write  ?  Why,  after  all,  I  ajjpoal  to  the 
"Athenasura,"  because  it  is  as  free  from  party  and  prejudice 


158  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

as  myself,  and  no  more.     There  's  a  hit  for  you,  Big  Ben, 
in  answer  to  your  "  write-hander." 

Besides,  it  has,  and  must  liave,  an  influence  from  its 
honesty,  impartiality,  and  ability,  and  therefore,  with  all 
my  humble  three  dittos,  I  endeavour  to  give  it  the  benefit 
of  my  views. 

W ,  the  other  officer,  says  the  same  thing  of  the 

Rhenishers. 

He  calls  them  "  m^chant,"  and  says  they  are  a  much 
better  sort  of  people  elsewhere.  He  says,  moreover,  that 
some  Germans,  lately  returned  from  Switzerland,  have 
made  the  observation,  that  the  people  there  are  corrupted 
and  deteriorated,  in  the  same  way  as  I  judge  them  to  be 
partly  here.  There  are  two  subjects  which  form  handles 
against  us,  and  are  rather  favourite  topics  here,  — 
Ireland,  —  and  the  Duke  of  Wellington's  remarks  on  the 
discipline  of  the  Prussian  army,  —  which  have  provoked 
much  angry  discussion. 

As  for  Ireland,  I  am  glad  to  see  there  is  a  chance  of 
righting  her  at  last,  but  what  a  sorry  figure  do  some  of 
the  Peers  cut ! 

I  have  just  got  the  Athenaeum  containing  Raumer. 
He  is  very  flattering  to  us  in  some  things,  but  his  true 
picture  of  Ireland  gives  one  pain,  abroad,  —  to  think 
what  foreigners  must  conceive  of  our  wisdom  or  govern- 
ment. I  doubt,  however,  of  the  wisdom  of  returning  for 
a  remedy  to  the  good  old  times  when  "  mendicant  monks 
im[)arted  their  goods  to  the  poor."  He  learnt  to  hull  iu 
Ireland,  seemingly.  Again,  I  do  not  clearly  understand 
whether  the  "  unhappy  nation  that  has  been  for  four-and- 
forty  years  seeking  for  liberty  in  all  directions,"  refers  to 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  159 

France  or  England.  But,  in  either  case,  I  do  not 
agree  with  his  prescription  of  "  moderation,  contented- 
ness,  and  humility,"  by  which  I  understand  a  sort  of 
waiters  on  Providence,  gaping  for  "  a  thrice  happy 
Prussian's  "  condition,  a  "  free,  proprietary  peasantry,  — 
a  contented  and  tolerant  clergy,  and  well  educated  youth," 
at  the  hands  of  the  Tories  or  their  equivalents.  But  I, 
perhaps,  misunderstand  him,  —  the  issue,  being  to  be 
Murrayan,  gave  me  the  impression.  The  two  countries 
are  widely  different ;  what  a  good,  absolute  King  can  do 
here,  cannot  be  done  with  us.  If  our  peasantry  were 
free  and  proprietary,  I  think  they  would  work  as  hard,  and 
be  as  contented  as  the  Germans.  But  the  English  labourer, 
labour  as  he  may,  can  but  be  a  pauper ;  and  it  seems  a 
little  unreasonable  to  require  him  to  sit  at  Hope's  or 
Content's  table,  eating  nothing,  with  the  same  cheerfulness 
and  gaiety  as  the  barber's  brother  at  the  Barmecide's. 

They  have  just  carried  by,  in  procession,  with  boys, 
two  and  two,  a  dead  schoolmaster !  Poor  fellow  ;  have 
they  drilled  him  to  death,  or  is  he  a  deserter  by  anticipa- 
tion ?  What  a  new  translation  they  have  of  "  cedant 
anna  togce!"  How  would  Othello's  pathetic  farewell 
to  arms  read  to  a  Prussian  Pedagogue  ?  Methinks  he 
would  have  the  black  boy  well  horsed  for  it.  "Well ! 
poor  *  *  *  *  is  gone,  and,  parodying  Coleridge's  apos, 
trophe  on  the  death  of  the  Dominie,  "  May  he  be  wafted 
to  heaven  by  disembodied  spirits  that  are  no  Corporals  !  " 


I  was  very  much  amused  the  other  day  with  R- 
account  of  his  taking  an  emetic. 


160       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

He  says  he  sat  for  an  hour  expecting  naturally  some- 
thing would  come  of  it,  but  nothing  stirred. 

It  agreed  with  him  just  as  well  as  if  he  had  taken  any 
other  wine  than  antimonial.  It  was  I'ather  comfortable 
than  otherwise.  So  he  had  recourse  to  warm  water,  of 
which  he  drank  about  a  dozen  large  cups  consecutively, 
but  they  made  themselves  quite  at  home  with  the  wine. 
Then  he  tried  tea,  —  in  hopes  of  "tea  and  turn  out,"  but 
it  staid  with  the  wine  and  water.  So  he  had  recourse  to 
the  warm  water  again,  which  staid  still,  and  so  did  some 
soup  which  he  took  on  the  top  of  all :  and  then,  despair- 
ing of  the  case,  he  went  to  bed  with  his  corporation  un- 
reformed !  Now,  was  not  this  a  tenacious,  retentive 
stomach,  so  determined  never  to  give  up  anything  it  had 
acquired,  good  or  bad ;  a  lively  type  of  a  Tory !  It 
would  make  a  nice  little  fable  done  into  verse  like  Peter 
Pindar's.* 

"We  have  had  several  little  excursions.  One  to  the 
Laacher  Zee,  amongst  the  volcanic  mountains.  We  went 
on  Whit-Monday,  but  it  ought  to  have  been  JfsA-Wed- 
nesday,  considering  the  soil  of  the  road  we  went  through. 
Their  proper  scavengers  would  have  been  Cinderella^. 
The  walls  and  houses  thereabouts  are  built  with  lava, 
and  the  lake  itself  is  supposed  to  occupy  an  extinct 
crater.  What  a  lovely,  little,  secluded  lake  it  is,  em- 
bosomed in  trees,  and  perched  on  the  crest  of  a  mountain, 
not  like  an  eagle's  nest,  but  a  water  "  Roc's."  It  is  said 
lo  be,  in  tlic  middle,  200  yards  deep,  and  the  water  is 

*  It  is  not  improbable  that  the  emetic  was  rendered  innocuous  by 

R 's  having  been  long  used  to- German  cookery,  which  had  made  a 

modem  Mithridates  of  him  in  this  respect.  —  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  IGI 

supernaturallj  clear.  We  fished,  but  of  course  could 
catch  nothing,  though  there  be  huge  Jack  and  Perch  ; 
in  truth,  as  I  could  see  my  line  from  the  top,  of  course 
they  could  see  it  at  the  bottom.  There  is  a  decayed 
church  and  cloisters,  and  the  monkery  and  gardens  afford 
delightful  residence.  There  is  also  a  referendarius  here 
who  does  not  care  for  it ;  what  a  taste !  He  is  seldom 
there.  It  is  a  delicious  spot.  I  honour  the  olden  monks 
for  the  taste  with  which  they  pitched  their  tents.  Me- 
thought  as  I  walked  in  their  cloistei's  I  could  have  been 
willingly  a  Benedictine  myself,  especially  when  I  saw  a 
pair  of  huge  antlers  over  one  of  the  doors,  —  like  a  sign 
of  "  good  venison  within."  We  have  booked  this  place 
for  you  to  visit,  when  you  come.  Indeed,  we  thought  of 
you,  at  our  "  champetre,"  and  drank  your  healths  in  our 
wine,  for  as  the  "hospitallers  "  have  quitted,  we  had  to 
carry  our  cold  baked  meats  with  us.  The  return  was 
through  a  country  reminding  me  of  some  of  the  romantic 
parts  of  Scotland,  but  on  a  larger  scale,  and  more  di- 
versely wooded.  Through  mountain-passes,  and  by  rapid, 
winding,  trout-streams,  we  suddenly  came  upon  Tonnen- 
stein  ;  a  little  Brunnen  in  a  lovely  glen.  I  asked  the 
priestess  (a  buxom  young  damsel  in  a  Cologne  cap, 
which  you  know  is  somewhat  like  a  muslin  soup-plate) 
very  gravely  whether  the  water  was  good  for  a  man 
"  with  a  wife  and  children,"  and  she  replied  as  gravely 
in  the  affu-mative,  handing  me  a  glass  of  bubble  without 
squeak.  AVith  wine  and  sugar,  it  drinks  like  champagne, 
but  it  is  good  neat.  But,  Lord  !  what  an  effervescing, 
gunpowder  plot  of  ground  do  we  Germans  live  upon  !  I 
scarcely  seem   safer   than   your  brother  at   Chichester. 


162  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

Every  spring  beneath  us  seems  boiling  hot,  or  boiling 
cold.  And  if  I  was  a  freeholder,  I  should  feel  some 
quakings  in  reckoning  all  between  the  sky  and  the  earth's 
centre  as  my  own.  I  should  certainly  content  myself 
with  tilling  the  upper  crust  of  the  soil  instead  of  being 
too  curious  in  mining.  Bless  us  all !  should  our  Teu- 
tonic Terra  be  seized  with  active  inflammation  in  her 
stomachic  regions,  instead  of  the  evident  chronic  one  she 
suffers  under !  If  we  have  any  living  Saurians  below,  as 
the  Rev.  Kerby  opines,  they  must  be  salamanders.  How 
little  do  the  infant  Germans,*  with  an  eruption  on  all 
their  heads,  dream  of  another  that  may  happen  under 
their  feet.  We  have  been  once  or  twice  to  Lahnsteiii, 
a  favourite  resort  here,  on  the  river  Lahn,  where  we 
have  obtained  the  credit  of  fishing  with  "  a  spell,"  on 
account  of  our  success  ;  when  the  old  native  anglers 
had  failed,  simply  because  we  fished  at  the  top  and 
they  at  the  bottom.  They  have  no  notion  of  fly-fishing. 
The  only  attempt  we  ever  saw  was  a  Captain  of  Engi- 
neers gravely  fishing  in  the  Moselle  with  a  hackle-^y 
and  a  worm,  at  once ;  but  the  infancy  of  his  art  may  ex- 
cuse the  tops  and  bottoms.  For  the  sake  of  Mrs.  Dilke, 
I  must  relate   two  adventures    at    Lahnstein,    the    first 

almost  as  laughable  as  Mr.  L 's.     Whilst  we  were 

fishing,  all  of  a  sudden  I  missed  De  Franck,  —  but  spied 
him  at  last  up  to  his  neck  in  the  middle  of  two  rocks  be- 
tween which  he  had  slipped  in  jumping  from  one  to 
another.     He  made  a  strange  figure  when  he  came  out, 

*  My  father  elsewhere  remarked  tliis  prevalent  peculiarity  of  the 
German  children's  heads.  It  would  seem  to  denote  their  Scandina- 
vian origin,  as  descendants  of  the  Scalds.  —  T.  II. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  1G3 

—  the  best  lay  figure  for  a  River-god  imaginable,  —  for 
German  sporting  jackets  have  an  infinity  of  pockets,  and 
there  was  a  separate  jet  of  water  from  every  one,  as  well 
as  from  his  sleeves,  trousers,  and  each  spout  of  his 
drowned  moustachios  (N.  B.  they  're  very  long).  He 
did  not  seem  much  improved,  when,  having  gone  to  the 
Inn,  he  returned  in  a  suit  of  the  landlord's,  who,  though 
twice  as  tall,  was  not  half  so  stout.  However,  we  did 
not  care  for  appearances,  for  we  thought  nobody  would 
notice  him,  as  it  was  not  a  holiday,  and  there  was  no 
company.  But  we  were  mistaken.  The  landlord's  dog 
sniffed  a  robbery,  and  knowing  his  master's  clothes  again, 
insisted  on  stripping  the  counterfeit,  and  was  obliged  to 
be  pulled  oflf  vi  et  armis.  The  landlord  was  very  much 
distressed,  and  made  a  thousand  apologies ;  and,  to  do 
him  justice,  was  a  very  obliging,  honest,  reasonable  fel- 
low, and  certainly  deserved  to  be  paid  better  than  icith 
his  own  money,  out  ofjiis  own  waistcoat  pocket,  by  De 
Franck,  as  we  discovered  afterwards.  This  was  the 
comic  part,  now  for  the  tragic.  In  the  meanwhile,  Jane, 
whose  legs  are  not  so  elephantine  as  they  were,  you  will 
readily  suppose,  made  shift  to  scramble,  with  Miss  Von 

B ,  up  to  the  ruined  castle  of  Lahn-eck. 

Having  seen  everything  on  its  old  ground-floor,  female 
curiosity,  prevailing  even  over  female  fear,  tempted  them 
up  a  dilapidated  staircase  to  one  of  the  mouldering  at- 
tics ;  and  then,  how  unfortunately  fortunate !  some  hall- 
dozen  of  the  topmost  stairs  caught  the  contagion  of  curi- 
osity, and  paid  a  visit  to  the  cellars.  You  may  imagine 
the  duet  that  ensued  in  a  very  high  key  —  but  as  you 
know  I  am  deaf  and  Dc  Franck  was  more  intent  on  the 


164  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

perch  beloiv,  tlian  on  the  perch  above,  it  was,  consequently, 
a  long  hour  (Jane  says  six)  before  they  were  rescued, 
heartily  sick,  you  may  be  sure,  of  the  local  and  the  vocal. 
They  swear  they  will  never  ascend  any  old  ruins  again, 
so  I  suppose  the  next  time  we  shall  have  to  hoist  them 
out  of  some  old  subterranean. 

However,  the  event  has  supplied  a  new  lay  or  legend 
of  the  Rhine  —  only  in  my  version,  after  a  lapse  of  half 
a  century,  two  female  skeletons  were  found  on  the  battle- 
ments, with  their  mouths  wide  open.* 

These  excursions  have  done  me  good  every  way,  and 
joined  to  a  rule  of  going  out  every  practicable  evening  to 
fish  in  the  Rhine  or  Moselle  by  way  of  exercise,  have  re- 
stored me  to  some  strength.  I  have  prospered  in  health 
ever  since  the  great  effusion  of  blood  —  in  fact,  had  I 
been  well  bled  at  first,  all  would  have  been  saved.  My 
friends  may  now  be  easy  about  me  —  and  all  the  rest  are 
well.  Jane  and  Fanny  mean  to. bathe  at  a  bath-house 
on  the  Rhine  bridge.  It  is  very  healthy  and  pleasant, 
only  the  tow-rope  of  a  barge  took  off'  the  whole  roof,  and 
so  frightened  the  female  dippers,  that  some  of  them  ran 
out  and  fainted  on  the  bridge.f 

*  My  father  subsequently  worked  up  this  incident  into  a  very  thrill- 
ing sketch  in  the  "  New  Monthly,"  entitled  "  The  Tower  of  Lali- 
neck."  -  T.  H. 

t  The  following  is  a  description  of  this  catastrophe  in  the  words  of 
Martha  Penny,  flic  Winifred  Jenkins  of  "  Up  the  Rhine." —  T.  H. 

"  A  nasty  grate  barge  come  spinnin  down  the  river,  and  by  sum 
mismanagement  the  towin  rope  hung  too  low  down,  and  jist  ketching 
the  IJath  House,  wipt  off  the  hole,  roof  in  a  jiffy !  .  .  .  In  course 
it  was  skreek  upon  skreek  from  the  other  rooms;  and  thinks  I,  if  tops 
come  off,  so  may  bottoms,  and  in  that  case  down  sinks  the  fluting  bath, 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  105 

The  bath  man  and  bath  woman,  concerned  for  their 
subscribers,  very  wisely  restored  them  by  carrying  them 
all  in  again  —  one  by  one. 

I  am  glad  you  liked  the  wine,  but  you  must  come  here 
for  the  next.  You  may  drink,  my  improvement  in  Art 
with  all  my  heart  —  but  as  to  my  sketch,  the  distinctness 
you  object  to  is  characteristic,  and  peculiar  in  Spring. 

I  am  as  clear  as  to  that,  as  the  atmosphere.  De 
Franck  and  I  verified  that  you  could  see  the  smoke  of  a 
pipe  heyond  the  Moselle.  De  Franck  made  the  remark 
the  other  day,  that  it  was  like  "  seeing  through  a  glass." 
In  fact  I  have  once  or  twice  neglected  my  spectacles 
from  not  feeling  the  ivant  of  them.  You  must  see  it  to 
believe  it  I  grant.  Why  I  almost  fancy  myself  an  eagle, 
or  at  least  a  Dollond,  as  I  look  along  the  mountainous 
horizon  with  the  minutest  shrubbery  defined  on  it.  I 
recollect,  especially  last  year,  when  I  came  up  the  Rhine 
I  felt  almost  that  I  had  seen  gnomes  and  fairies  —  the 
people  at  work  on  the  face  of  the  mountains  looked  so 
distinct  and  yet  so  small,  they  appeared  literal  dwarfs  — 
for  want  of  that  medium  mistiness  which  ordinarily  sig- 
nifies distance.     The  only  conviction  you  had,  sensually, 

and  we  're  all  drownded  creatures  as  sure  as  rats.  So  out  I  run  on  to 
the  bridge  of  boats,  jist  as  I  was,  with  nothing  on  but  my  newdity; 
but  decency  's  one  thing,  and  death  's  anotiier.  Tlie  rest  of  the  bath- 
ing ladies  did  the  same,  and  some  of  them,  pore  tilings,  fainted  ded 
away  on  the  bords.  Luckily  none  of  the  mail  sects  was  passing  by, 
for  xcept  won  Waterloo  blue  bonnet  we  was  all  in  a  naturalized  state 
like  so  many  Kves.  .  .  .  Thank  Gudness,  there  was  no  wus  harm 
done;  but  Catshins  says,  wen  the  roof  was  took  off,  I  ought  to  have 
crost  myself,  and,  to  be  sure,  so  I  ought  —  as  well  as  said  Sanctus 
JIarius,  instead  of  0  Criminy!  " 


1G6  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

of  their  being  so  remote  was  from  the  silence :  you  saw, 
but  you  could  not  hear,  the  blows  of  their  pickaxes,  etc. 
The  effect  is  really  miraculous.  My  eyes  seemed  well 
washed  with  fairy  euphrasy ;  methought,  what  a  pure 
element  it  must  be  that  we  German  fishes  now  swim  in  ! 
as  good  for  the  lungs  as  the  "  Lung  Arno."  Some  of  us 
find  it  too  pure  if  taken  neat,  and  so  mix  it  with  smoke. 

N.  B.  The  defunct,  lately  carried  by  with  ''  dirges 
due,"  was  not  a  schoolmaster,  but  a  butcher,  whose  widow 
had  borrowed  the  boys  to  give  eclat.  The  Spanish  gen- 
eral, Spinola,  died  "of  having  nothing  to  do,"  and  I  sup- 
pose Lent  killed  the  Flesher.  That  same  Lent  was  a 
horrid  invention,  at  least  for  inland  towns.  I  hope  it  is 
not  the  bad  fish,  but  they  are  dying  here  on  all  hands, — 
two  or  three  children  a  day.  Thank  God,  we  seem  in  a 
little  Goshen,  all  well !  But  we  have  had  an  omen,  at  least 
equal  to  a  raven  on  the  chimney-pot.  The  children  are 
just  come  in  from  a  walk,  and  a  strange  doctor  stopped 
Fanny,  and  talked  to  her  in  the  street ! 


I  have  never  had  any  of  the  vulgar  insane  dread  of  the 
Catholics.  It  appears  to  me  too  certain  that  they  are  de- 
caying at  the  core,  and  by  the  following  natural  process  :  — 
men  take  a  huge  stride  at  first  from  Catholicism  into  Lifi- 
delity,  like  the  French,  and  then  by  a  short  step  back- 
wards in  a  reaction,  attain  the  juste  iniUeti.  You  see  I 
l)hilosophise,  but  it  is  in  the  air  of  Germany;  only  I  do 
not  smoke  with  it. 

I  cannot  help  agreeing  with  Von  Raumer  about  Eng- 
lish music;  I  am  deaf  and  have  heard  as  little  good  as 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  1G7 

he  ;  but  why  sneer  at  our  buying  hetter  ?  if  we  purchased 
Itahan,  we  paid  lately  the  same  compliment  to  the  Ger- 
man. I  believe  in  their  "  real  music,"  but  as  to  their 
"  real  song  "  I  have  a  creed  that  the  "  sickly  sentimental- 
ity "  is  as  much  a  characteristic  of  the  best  German  as 
the  worst  English.  As  for  our  painters,  whom  he  de- 
spises, let  him  show  me  a  German  Turner  (except  of  the 
stomach),  a  Stanfield,  an  Etty,  a  Stump,  a  Gump.  They 
are  as  unheard  of  as  our  musicians,  except  a  notorious 
German,  who  daubed  for  George  the  Fourth.  But  when 
were  the  German  artists  pictorially  great  with  pen  or 
pencil?  Fuseli  represented  both  classes.  In  their  sub- 
limest  they  introduce  the  ridiculous,  whereas  a  real  gen- 
uine Kentuckian  in  his  ridiculous  approaches  the  sublime. 
I  would  rather,  as  to  style,  prefer  the  last.  Fair  play 's  a 
jewel:  if  you  want  examples,  I'll  give  them  to  you  out 
of  Goethe  himself.  We  had  a  specimen  of  their  fine  arts 
yesterday,  on  a  flag  carried  before  a  funeral :  on  one  side 
was  a  Virgin  and  Child,  both  dark,  mulatto,  as  if  inclin- 
ing to  Lord  Monboddo's  theoiy  that  Adam  was  Hack,  or 
half-and-half — whereas,  on  the  other  side  was  a  bishop, 
in  pontijicalihus,  blessing  three  little  children  in  a  literal 
washing-tub,*  washed  as  fair  as  an  English  mother  could 
desire  —  as  Jane,  for  instance.  This  is  fact,  and  it  is  as 
fair  to  judge  from  it  as  from  the  drawings  of  lap-dogs  and 
poodles  at  our  Society  of  Arts,  an  imbecility  long  since 

*  This  was  a  representation  of  St.  Nicholas  restoring  to  life  the 
"  Three  Young  Men  of  Noble  Family,"  who  got  into  a  literal  pickle, 
vide  legends  passim.  St.  Nicholas  was  the  favourite  saint  with  us  chil- 
dren, for,  on  the  eve  of  his  clay,  we  used  to  put  our  shoes  outside  tha 
bedroom  door,  and  his  Reverence  was  believed  to  have  tilled  them  iu 


168  MEMORIALS    OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

marked  down  as  a  subject  for  the  "  Comic  "  —  with  that 
void  Aiken,  at  its  head  or  tail,  whom  Coleridge  used  to 
compare  to  an  "  Aching  void !  "  Apropos  of  Art,  in  the 
palace  here ;  in  the  concert-room,  there  was  to  have  been 
a  series  of  frescos  from  the  "  Last  Judgment "  of  Rubens, 
very  appropriate  supposing  the  orchestra  all  trumpets. 
But  as  the  laws  of  acoustics  only  had  been  neglected,  the 
concert-room  was  abandoned,  and  it  is  now  devoted  to  the 
sittings  of  assize,  when  the  frescos  would  be  of  some 
relevance,  and  accordingly  they  are  not  there.  I  have 
this  on  the  authority  of  Schreiber,  the  guide-man,  noticed 
shortly  before  Raumer,  to  whom  I  owe  a  grudge  and  will 
pay  it.  As  the  Americans  say,  if  they  poke  their  fun  at 
me,  I  will  poke  again. 


I  am  hard  at  work  at  my  "  Comic,"  somewhat  puzzled 
for  subjects,  as  most  of  my  foreign  ones  must  go  to  the 
German  book,  which  I  want  to  make  as  good  as  pos- 
sible. 

I  do  get  the  "AthenaBum,"  though  somewhat  more 
tardily  than  formerly,  and  it  is  a  great  treat.  It  ought 
to  be  very  successful.  We  admired  much  the  articles  on 
Talfourd's  "  Ion,"  and  Taylor's  political  book :  my  mind 
misgives  me  they  are  yours.  Pray  write  as  often  as 
you   can.     Jane   desires  me  to  say  she  longs  for  Mrs. 

the  uif^lit  with  the  toys,  &c.,  we  discovered  in  them  the  next  day.  I 
believe,  Ijut  won't  confess  to  any  experience,  that  a  child  who  had 
been  naughty,  generally  found  a  rod  in  his  slipper  in  lieu  of  the  toys. 
It  is  almost  to  be  wished  that  the  German  tree,  had  brought  over  the 
St.  Nicholas'  day  custom  with  it  as  a  branch  institution.  —  T.  II. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  169 

Dilke's  promised  letter.  As  for  myself,  you  will  not 
soon  have  some  more  last  words.  But  I  do  live  in  hope 
of  meeting  you  bodily  this  autumn,  and  would  write  a 
whole  "  Athenteum  "  (a  double  one)  to  help  you  out. 

Methinks  fat  as  most  of  the  company  would  be,  we 
should  almost  talk  ourselves  into  consumptions.  Mind, 
no  more  Margate !  If  I  chalk  all  along  the  dead  wall 
in  Grosvenor  Place,  it  would  be,  "  Ask  for  Coblenz," 
"Try  the  Rhine,"  "Beware  of  Dublin,"  "Inquke  for 
Alten  Graben!" 

We  often  fancy  ourselves  in  your  family  circle,  and 
wish  you  could  take  a  stick  to  it,  and  trundle  it  over  here. 
Pray  remember  us  kindly  to  everybody,  to  William  and 
Wentworth,  and  the  rest  of  the  family,  "  by  hook  and  by 
Snook"  Desire  Fanny  Staunton  to  add  moustachios  to 
my  portrait,  and  put  a  pipe  in  my  mouth. 

Jane  goes  all  lengths  with  me  in  her  love,  and  so  does 
Fanny,  and  so  would  Hood  jun.  if  he  could,  as  he  should. 
The  mancBuvres  will  begin  the  last  week  in  August,  and 
then  the  King  will  be  here  ;  so,  dear  Mrs.  Dilke,  mind 
j'ou  keep  Dilke  in  marching  order.  I  have  only  post 
time  to  add  God  bless  you  all  in  my  more  serious  style, 
which  some  prefer  to  ray  comic,  and  Jane  says  Amen 
religiously,  though  she  has  fished  of  a  Sunday.  She 
denies  it,  and  I  believe  it  is  an  error  —  she  only  "went  to 
an  equestrian  play. 

Mind  the  address  —  as  the  quacks  say  —  of.  Dear 
Dilke, 

**  Yours  ever  truly, 

Thomas  Hood. 

VOL.   I.  8 


170  MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 


I  forgot  to  mention  that  the  soldiers  have  an  odd- 
sounding  mode  of  suicide.  As  ball  is  hard  to  get  at,  they 
sometimes  shoot  themselves  with  water,  —  which  blows 
the  head  to  atoms  worse  than  shot.  Now  for  something 
in  the  grand  style.  One  fellow  in  the  true  spirit  of  the 
German  sublime,  did  it  with  a  forty-eight"  pounder,  and 
went  off  with  eclat.  How  proud  some  Charlotte  must 
have  been  of  such  a  Werter ! 

752,  Alten  Graben,  12<A  July,  1836. 
My  dear  Dilke, 
You  will  wonder  at  hearing  from  me  so  soon  again, 
but  it  is  a  broken  day,  and  an  epistolaxy  one,  as  I  have 
other  letters  to  write  —  and  perhaps  the  French  letter 
will  be  worth  the  postage ;  and,  above  all,  I  have  a  posi- 
tive pleasure  in  writing  to,  as  well  as  receiving  letters 
from  you.  You  see  I  can  make  as  many  good  excuses 
for  writing,  as  others  for  their  silence.  But  the  truth  is, 
I  have  not  many  correspondents,  nor  many  conversables  ; 
so  that  I  select  you,  both  to  write  to  and  to  talk  to  on 
paper  —  for  fear  I  should  die  of  that  most  distressing  o\ 
complaints,  a  suppression  of  ideas.  I  do  not,  however, 
though  I  am  in  Germany,  pretend  to  open  a  regular  ac- 
count of  debtor  and  creditor,  and  expect  you  to  liquidate 
every  letter  of  mine,  as  if  it  wei'e  a  foreign  bill  of  ex- 
change, by  an  equivalent  on  your  own  side.  I  know 
your  time  is  too  valuable  to  be  so  drawn  upon,  and  so  is 
mine  too  ;  but,  then,  for  me  to  write  to  you  is  matter  of 
recreation.  You  have  too  much  of  thaf^of  which  I  have 
too  little  —  society  :  so  that  if  I  choose  to  call  on  you,  or 
leave  my  card,  i.  e.  letter,  I  do  not  peremptorily  expect 


MEJIORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  171 

your  returning  my  visits.  Now  we  understand  each 
other;  and  should  you  ever  tire  of  my  billets,  you  can 
give  me  a  genteel  cut,  by  returning  my  last  under  cover, 
which  ought  to  be  equivalent  to  "  not  at  home  ; "  or  you 
can  get  Mrs.  Dilke  to  make  spills  of  them,  for  I  hate  my 
writings  to  be  of  no  use  to  any  one  ;  a  case,  I  believe, 
peculiar  to  my  "  Plea  of  the  Fairies."  I  had,  I  remem- 
ber, to  bid  myself  for  the  waste,  for  fear  of  their  going 
to  the  book-stalls.  So  you  can  publish  my  letters  if  you 
do  not  like  them,  and  trust  to  my  buying  up  the  remain- 
ders. 

We  are  all  well  —  as  well  as  the  heat,  that  is  to  say, 
will  let  us  be.  But  we  never  had,  as  apparently  all  the 
world  has  had,  a  stranger  season.  First,  a  long,  cold, 
wet  spring ;  and  then,  all  at  once,  out  of  the  ice-pail  into 
the  frying-pan,  like  preserved  fish.  Our  powers  of  con- 
traction and  expansion  were  well  tried.  I  am,  as  you 
may  guess,  not  strong,  and  wonder  I  did  not  become  lit- 
erally j^naWe.  At  mental  work  I  sat  in  a  room  (always 
in  shade)  with  the  glass  at  80  ;  and  at  bodily  work  at  a 
true  African  heat. 

We  went  one  day  to  see  the  Royal  Iron-works  at 
Sayn,  and  really,  with  all  the  great  furnaces  and  the 
ladlefuls  of  glowing  red  liquid  metal,  the  process  going 
on  under  a  roof,  the  sun  seemed  to  heat  the  fire,  without 
any  great  bellows. 

One  day,  while  fishing  at  Lahneck,  De  Franck  and  I 
pursued  a  trout  stream  till  it  ended  in  what  I  have  sev- 
eral times  observed  about  here,  where  there  is  water. 
There  was  a  sort  of  earthy  cauldron  sloping  down,  al- 
most a  regular  circle,  till  you  came  to  a  level  surface  of 


172        MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

meadow  and  water,  as  the  Laacher  Zee.  The  whole 
country  is  volcanic  —  tremendously  so,  if  you  think  of 
all  the  hot  springs  —  a  real  Solfaterra.  Extinct  crater, 
or  not,  I  felt  hoiled  dry  in  it,  till  I  longed  to  plunge  into 
the  clear  little  stream  before  me,  so  cool,  so  clear;  but  prob- 
ably it  would  have  been  my  death  ;  for,  do  you  know,  trout 
live  here  in  rivers  too  cold  for  any  other  fish,  and  we 
caught  nothing  but  trout,  nor  has  anybody  else.  How- 
ever, in  this  beautiful  picturesque  bottom  I  almost  devilled 
myself,  without  curry  or  cayenne  —  in  spite  of  a  queer 
brown  holland  smock-frock,  garnished  (as  the  Germans 
cannot  do  even  simplicity  without  a  flourish)  with  a  flow- 
ing brown  holland  frill !  It  was  one  of  their  sporting 
costumes,  lent  me  by  De  Franck ;  and  whilst  wearing 
this,  and  he  in  another  like  thereunto,  we  had  deposited 
our  ordinary  coats  at  a  house  in  the  village.  And  here 
note,  for  I  wish  to  be  just,  that  the  conservators  of  our 
said  coats  would  not,  without  the  greatest  difliculty,  ac- 
cept a  doit  —  I  ought  to  say  a  groschen  —  for  their 
trouble,  although  Germans,  and  Jews.  I  had,  perforce, 
to  give  it  to  a  poor  sick  boy,  as  an  excuse  for  leaving  it, 
and  whom  I  singled  out  with  a  sort  of  Irish  philanthropy, 
to  prove  we  are  all  Christians.  I  wish  I  could  hope  to 
give  him  another  little  piece  of  bad  silver  (you  know,  of 
course,  the  washed,  or  rather  unwashed  face  of  Friedrich 
Wilhelm  on  our  Prussian  coinage),  but  he  seemed  des- 
tined to  abstract  a  unit  from  the  gross  sum  of  the  twelve 
tribes  at  present  in  existence.  Set  this  off  against  my 
last  picture  of  the  people  of  these  parts,  and  lament  with 
me  that  you  must  go  frovi  the  Rhine  to  meet  7ia(ures  that 
correspond    with    its    natural    beauties.     Perhaps  I  am 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   EOOD.  173 

wrong ;  I  know  you  think  I  am  prejudiced,  but  I  think  I 
am  not.  Every  day  fresh  facts,  not  fancies,  corroborate 
my  views.  You  will  find  a  new  one  in  my  notice  of  M. 
The  imposition,  I  know,  was  made  light  of,  and  made  a 
joke  of  even,  as  against  the  English. 

I  could  quote  political  reasons  for  this  jealousy,  which 
certainly  does  obtain,  besides  more  private  ones.  Name- 
ly, under  the  heads  of  free  trade,  probable  union  of 
France,  Belgium,  and  England  against  the  Holy  Family, 
alias  Holy  Alliance,  which  I  guess  is  a  main  head  and 
front,  besides  avarice  and  envy,  and  most  exaggerated 
notions  of  our  wealth.  I  am  translating  a  serious  tale, 
illustrative  of  England,  from  the  "  Zeitung,"  where  a 
lady  of  Euston  Scjuare  offers  £50,000  per  annum,  a 
mine  in  "Cormvales,"  and  £20,000  in  "East  India  Ac- 
tions" (?  shares),  as  a  reward  for  finding  her  lost  child. 
The  lady  dies  —  the  King's  carriage  and  all  the  nobility 
go  to  the  funeral ;  the  will  bequeaths  all  her  property  to 
the ^Wer,  and  nothing  to  the  child;  and  the  said  child 
is  eventually  found  by  a  dog  called  "  Fog  "  !  Imagine  a 
London  fog  finding  anything  !  And  these  are  •'  Sketches 
of  oiir  Manners,"  gravely  written  and  read  on  the  Rhine 
—  one  of  our  thoroughfares ! !  It  will  make  a  good  chap- 
ter in  my  book  as  a  German  exercise ! 

«  *  *  * 

752,  Alten  Graben,  Coblenz,  29<A  October,  1836. 

My  dear  Mrs.  Elliot, 

*  *  *  * 

You  will  be  surprised  to  hear  that  Hood  *  is  at  this 
*  In  the  bpginning  of  October,  the  19th  Polish  Infantry  were  ordered 


174  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

present  Avriting,  at,  or  near  Berlin  —  from  thence  he  goes 
to  Kiistrin,  Frankfort-on-the-Oder,  Breslau,  Dresden, 
Frankfort-on-the-Maine,  and  then  back  to  Coblenz.  Mr. 
De  Franck's  regiment,  the  19th,  has  been  ordered  from 
here  to  Bromberg,  and  he  proposed  Hood's  joining  their 
march  as  a  friend  of  his.  As  it  was  his  intention  to  travel 
for  his  German  book,  this  affords  the  best  opportunity. 
He  would  see  parts  of  the  country  which  are  not  common 
to  travellers ;  he  would  have  the  advantage  of  very  pleas- 
ant companions,  and  the  help  of  Mr.  De  Franck's  Ger- 
man, who  speaks  it  as  well  as  a  native  —  and  Hood 
therefore  very  gladly  accepted  the  invitation.  The  regi- 
ment marches  fifteen  or  twenty  English  miles  per  day  for 
three  days,  and  then  rests  one.  Mr.  De  Franck  advised 
Hood  to  buy  a  horse  to  go  with  them,  and  when  he  wished 
to  return,  he  could  sell  it  and  come  back  by  diligence. 
He  was  so  fortunate  as  to  meet  with  a  good  one,  with  new 
saddle,  bridle,  and  all,  for  seven  pounds,  ten  shillings  !  As 
he  could  not  start  with  them,  Mr.  De  Franck  took  the 
horse  with  him,  and  they  arranged  to  meet  at  or  near 
Eisenach.  I  must  tell  you  that  all  the  officers  very  polite- 
ly expressed  much  pleasure  at  his  going  with  them.  The 
Captain  desired  the  Quartermaster  to  arrange  quarters 
for  him  with  De  Franck.     The  Colonel,  who  has  trans- 

to  march  to  Bromberpr,  aivl  iny  father  was  iiiducctl,  by  the  invit.ation 
of  his  friend  Franck  (and  indeed  of  all  the  oflicers  of  the  rcf^imcnt),  to 
march  with  them.  My  mother's  letter  is  put  a  little  out  of  date  here, 
in  order  not  to  interfere  with  tiio  continued  narrative  of  my  father's 
letters.  These  were  almost  the  lust  of  my  father's  days  of  health,  and 
henceforward — although  there  have  been  occasional  mentions  of  ill- 
ness before  —  the  letters  will  record  the  gradual  but  sure  decline  of 
it.  — T.  H. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  175 

lated  his  "  Eugene  Aram "  into  German  and  is  a  very 
clever  man,  sent  him  a  handsome  message  and  invitation. 
Knowing  that  Mr.  Dilke  could  not  leave  London  for  lonsrer 
than  five  or  six  weeks,  it  had  been  settled  that  I  should  go 
with  Hood  as  far  as  Eisenach,  and  they  would  not  suffer 
us  to  alter  this ;  so  leaving  them  here,  Hood  and  I  left  for 
Frankfort  on  the  11th  of  October,  and  reached  Eisenach 
on  the  13th.  We  stayed  a  night  there,  and  went  to 
Langen  Seltzers  the  next  morning,  expecting  to  find 
Mr.  De  F.,  but  his  battalion  was  quartei-ed  in  a  vil- 
lage near,  and  we  had  to  go  on  there.  We  found  him 
in  the  house  of  a  Saxon  peasant,  or  rather  farmer, 
for  they  seemed  well  to  do,  and  had  five  or  six  fine 
cows.  We  had  their  two  best  bed-rooms  —  good  sized, 
and  nicely  furnished  —  only  we  were  obliged  to  go 
through  one  to  the  other.  The  first  had  two  beds  for 
Mr.  Franck  and  a  brother  officer,  and  the  inner  one, 
which  was  also  the  sitting-room,  had  one  for  us :  this  was 
rather  unpleasant,  but  if  I  had  been  a  Princess  I  could 
not  have  commanded  any  better,  so  I  treated  it  in  the 
best  manner  I  could.  Our  friend  had  been  out  and  shot 
a  brace  of  partridges  in  the  morning,  and  the  Polish  offi- 
cer, his  comrade,  undertook  to  superintend  the  cooking 
them  for  supper.  I  had  brought  tea  with  me,  but  had 
some  difficulty  to  find  a  substitute  for  a  teapot,  and  the 
luxury   of  teaspoons   was    quite    unknown,  and   Hood* 

*  My  father  was  very  ingenious  in  this  way,  and  had  a  knack  of 
"cutting  and  contriving,"  of  which  we  possess  many  CTidences. 
While  in  Germany,  he  bought  a  small  toy  theatre  for  us,  and  then 
(and  subsequently  at  Camberwell,  during  an  illness)  drew,  painted, 
and  cut  out  the  characters  and  scenery  for  a  tragedy  (Paul  and  Vir- 


176       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

carved  one  out  of  a  bit  of  pine  wood.  For  supper,  they 
brought  us  a  brown  dish  of  potatoes,  boiled  in  the  skins, 
another  dish  of  boiled  eggs,  some  butter,  and  a  large 
brown  loaf,  so  the  birds  were  a  nice  addition.  After  sup- 
per, the  host  and  his  wife  came  to  inquire  if  we  had  been 
comfortable  - —  they  were  unused  to  entertain  such  peo- 
ple, but  they  had  done  their  best.  The  man  then  pro- 
duced a  bottle  of  spirit  (very  like  Scotch  whiskey,  with  a 
peat  flavour  even,  made  from  rye),  and  offered  a  glass  to 
each,  first  shaking  hands  all  round.  The  wife,  in  the 
course  of  the  evening,  had  brought  her  baby  in  her  arms, 
and  a  beautiful  little  fat  thing  it  was ;  and  Hood  desired 
Franck  to  tell  the  father  how  much  we  admired  it  —  that 
it  was  so  fat,  we  could  not  ask  for  all,  but  would  like  to 

ginia),  a  spectacle  (St.  George  and  the  Dragon),  and  a  pantomime. 
The  figures  were  very  clever,  the  groups  and  processions  capitally  ar- 
ranged —  and  the  dragon  was  a  dragon !  Some  of  the  scenes,  such  as 
the  planter's  house,  and  the  cottages  of  Margaret  and  Madame  de  la 
Tour,  are  gems  of  effect  and  colour.  Two  moonlight  scenes  are  veiy 
good  too  —  the  grave  of  Paul  and  Virginia,  and  the  Palace  in  St. 
George,  wheVe  a  (tinsel)  torchlight  procession  by  water  wound  up  the 
play.  The  whole,  however,  cannot  be  described,  and  must  be  seen  to 
be  appreciated.  On  high  days  and  holidays  this  theatre  used  to  be 
brought  out,  and  my  father  used  to  perform  the  pieces  to  the  delight 
of  the  little  friends  (and  big  ones  too)  who  were  present.  Ho  used  to 
extemporise  the  dialogue,  which  was  considered  by  the  ciders,  who 
were  better  judges  than  we  children  could  pretend  to  be,  very  lively 
and  apt.  His  stage  management,  properties,  and  macliinery  were 
capital,  and  I  can  still  remonber  the  agonj'  with  wliich  I  used  to  see 
the  wreck  in  Paul  and  Virginia  break  up  by  degrees,  and  the  bodies 
of  the  lovers  washed  in  over  the  breakers.  In  addition  to  these  means 
of  evening  entertainment,  lie  had  a  inagio  lantern,  for  which  he  paint- 
ed a  number  of  slides,  some  Iniinorous,  and  some  prott}'  ones  —  a  flight 
of  doves  and  swallows  with  a  hawk,  arid  a  little  cottage  in  the  snow, 
with  a  "  practicable"  regiment  marching  over  a  bridge.  —  T.  II. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  177 

Lave  a  part  of  it.  We  thought  the  man's  answer  very 
ready  :  "  Tell  the  gentlemen,  that  I  speak  like  the  mother 
to  King  Solomon,  I  cannot  suffer  him  to  take  a  part,  I 
vrould  rather  present  him  the  whole  of  it !  "  As  you  may 
suppose,  this  was  all  very  new  and  amusing,  and  we  were 
very  merry,  only  Hood  complained  at  times  of  pain  in  the 
side ;  still  we  thought  he  would  be  better  in  the  morning, 
and  that  it  proceeded  from  over-fatigue.  But  his  night 
was  very  restless,  and  when  he  rose,  the  pain  was  so 
great  that  we  found  he  would  not  dare  to  venture  on 
horseback ;  so  we  made  a  fresh  arrangement,  to  go  and 
stay  at  Saxe  Gotha,  at  a  quiet  inn  we  had  called  at  on 
our  way,  and  that  he  should  again  meet  the  regiment  on 
the  next  Tuesday  at  Halle,  supposing  him  to  be  better 
for  care,  i-est,  and  nursing.  This  all  turned  out  to  our 
wish ;  the  pain  proceeded  from  cold  in  the  muscles  of  the 
chest,  and  he  was  soon  well. 

On  Sunday,  at  twelve,  I  left  him  to  return  here,  for  I 
was  to  have  been  with  the  Dilkes  at  Coblenz,  on  that 
day.  He  saw  me  off  from  Saxe  Gotha  —  but  when  the 
diligence  arrived  there,  it  was  full,  and  as  six  passengers 
were  there  who  had  taken  places,  the  conductor  placed 
us  "  extras  "  in  two  "  post  waggons  "  as  they  call  them, 
and  Hood  went  away  quite  pleased  at  my  going  so  com- 
fortably. But  alas !  this  was  not  to  continue  ;  after  two 
stages  they  brought  out  an  old,  old  diligence,  in  which 
they  placed  five  gentlemen  and  myself.  At  Vach,  where 
we  supped,  having  quickly  finished  mine,  I  went  out  to 
get  into  the  coach,  and  found  a  smith  mending  the  wheels, 
and  listening  with  all  my  German  ears,  heard  the  con- 
ductor ask  if  he  was   sure   it   was   strong.     This   was 

8*  L 


178  MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

enough  for  me  —  but  I  was  too  timid  to  communicate  all 
this  in  bad  German  to  the  others ;  so  I  sat  nursing  my 
fears  "  to  keep  them  warm,"  in  most  profound  silence  — 
suffering  a  womanly  martyrdom.  Of  course  I  was  not 
surprised,  though  dreadfully  frightened,  when  the  crash 
came.  About  eleven  o'clock,  when  we  had  got  to  the 
top  of  a  steep  hill,  and  so,  fortunately,  were  going  slowly, 
the  wheel  came  off  and  we  were  turned  over!  The 
young  man  opposite  me  scrambled  out  (we  were  uppei'- 
most)  at  the  window;  he  did  not  tread  upon  me,  but  this 
was  my  luck,  not  his  care,  for  he  evidently  only  thought 
of  himself.  As  soon  as  he  was  out,  some  one  looked  in 
at  the  window,  and  holding  up  my  hands,  I  begged  him 
to  help  me,  but  I  soon  repented  this  ;  for,  seizing  hold  of 
my  wrists,  he  began  to  pull  me  out  "  by  force  of  arms  "  in 
spite  of  my  entreaties,  which  being  in  English  of  course 
he  did  not  understand.  I  really  thought  he  would  break 
them,  for  my  whole  weight  was  hanging,  and  I  could  not 
find  anywhere  to  fix  my  feet  against  at  the  side.  At  last 
he  dragged  me  out  upon  the  top,  and  there  I  seemed 
likely  to  remain,  for  he  went  to  help  out  the  rest,  and  I 
stood  trembling,  bruised,  and  crying  in  the  utmost  dis- 
tress, when  I  heard  a  voice  from  the  road  say,  "  Don't 
be  alarmed,  let  me  assist  you  down."  "  Thank  God  ! 
that's  English,"  I  said,  and  I  was  almost  ready  to  jump 
into  the  gentleman's  arms  for  very  joy,  as  I  was  after- 
wards compelled  to  do  for  very  hcli),  for  it  was  only 
by  his  lifting  me  from  tlie  edge,  that  I  could  reach  the 
ground.  He  then  went  to  search  for  my  bag,  which  held 
my  passj)ort  and  my  shawl.  It  was,  most  fortunately,  a 
lovely    moonlight    night:    darkness    would    have    added 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  279 

ranch  to  my  horror.  I  found  I  had  a  blow  on  the  back 
of  the  head,  and  one  on  my  right  shoulder,  but  I  came 
oif  better  than  others ;  one  poor  man  was  sadly  cut 
about  the  face  and  head,  and  another  had  his  arm  very 
much  hurt.  My  English  friend  now  having  found  my 
bag  and  shawl,  proposed  placing  me  in  a  britzka,  in 
which  a  German  and  his  valet  were  travelling,  but  who 
had  stopped  to  assist.  But  the  old  gentleman  did  not  or 
would  not  vinderstand,  and  1  said  very  proudly  in  Ger- 
man, that  I  would  rather  stand  there  than  trouble  him. 
Upon  this  he  was  very  pressing,  and  insisted  on  my 
getting  in,  but  the  diligence  being  near  in  which  the 
Englishman  was  a  passenger,  I  very  soon  exchanged  my 
seat  for  the  only  vacant  one  there  was  in  it,  and  went  all 
the  rest  of  the  way  in  it  to  Frankfort.  The  other  unfor- 
tunates were  taken  on  in  post  waggons,  and  were  ticice 
overset  again  —  not  arriving  at  Frankfort  until  four 
o'clock  —  we  got  there  by  one. 

I  went  from  Frankfort  to  Mayence  that  evening,  and 
on  Tuesday  morning  came  in  the  steamboat  down  the 
Rhine.  It  was  a  beautiful  day ;  and  though  too  rapid,  I 
think  the  Rhine  is  much  finer  to  come  down,  you  see  it 
with  better  effect,  than  to  go  up  it. 


You  of  course  have  heard  of  our  grand  review.  There 
were  such  preparations  for  it,  and  so  much  talk  before- 
hand, and  every  village  round  Coblenz,  as  well  as  the 
Stadt  itself,  so  crammed  with  military  that  we  did  expect 
something  "  prodigious,"  but  the  weather  was  miserable, 
and  we  were  a  leetle  disappointed  ;  still  it  was  such   a 


180  ■     MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

sisrht  as  I  never  witnessed  before,  and  shall  not  a^ain. 
The  Lager,  or  Camp,  was  erected  at  the  end  of  August ; 
but  the  three  or  four  grand  days  were  about  the  middle  of 
September.  The  Crown  Prince  was  here  three  days  to 
review  tliem  ;  but  I  thought  the  two  days'  "  sham  fights," 
after  he  left,  by  far  the  most  interesting.  The  Camp  was 
erected  on  the  large  plain  on  the  other  side  of  the  Rhine 
and  Moselle,  between  here  and  Andernach.  There  were 
booths  for  the  sale  of  fancy  goods,  for  refreshment,  and 
for  dancing,  theatres,  horse-riding,  &c.,  and  one  large  one 
called  the  Officers'  Booth,  where  they  dined  always.  In 
front  of  these  tents  was  a  range  of  kitchens  for  the  sol- 
diers at  short  distances  from  each  other,  a  quarter  of  a 
mile  in  length.  Behind  these  were  the  tents  for  those 
troops  who  could  not  be  disposed  of  in  towns  or  villages. 
To  those  who  had  only  seen  at  a  theatre  the  representa- 
tion of  a  "  tented  field  "  this  was  a  beautiful  sight,  and 
the  lovely  green  hills  that  bound  the  plain  on  all  sides 
added  to  the  fine  effect  of  the  scene. 

We  engaged  a  carriage  earl)'',  knowing  the  Dilkes  were 
coming,  and  were  so  lucky  that  we  paid  for  the  four  days, 
what  others  paid  for  one;  but  poor  Mr.  Dilke's  illness 
quite  spoiled  the  enjoyment,  though  they  insisted  on  our 
going,  as  we  had  promised  to  take  a  young  lady  with  us. 
It  was  unfortunate,  too,  that  what  we  had  reckoned  on  as 
an  amusement,  viz.,  that  we  live  in  the  street  that  leads 
to  the  bridge,  turned  out  a  source  of  annoyance  to  our 
poor  friend,  on  account  of  tlie  noise  of  tlic  carriages  and 
troops  going  in  and  out.  On  the  last  day  but  one,  Hood 
and  I  and  Fanny  went  to  see  the  taking  of  Bassenhcimer, 
a  village  seven  or  eight  English  miles  off.     The  stupid 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  Jgl 

people  of  Coblenz  having  seen  tlie  troops  reviewed  in 
order,  and  the  Crown  Prince,  did  not  care  to  go  to  see 
this,  so  ours  was  the  only  party  present.  We  followed 
what  seemed  the  successful  and  advancing  army,  but  on 
gaining  the  brow  of  a  hill  our  troops  began  to  retreat, 
and  we  saw  the  enemy  coming  out  of  a  dark  fir  wood, 
and  steadily  marching  up  the  ascent.  Our  situation  was 
very  advantageous  for  seeing  the  manoeuvres,  so  Ave  drew 
a  little  to  one  side  and  allowed  them  to  pass  us :  it  gave 
me  a  very  excellent  notion  of  a  battle :  the  tramp  of  the 
feet,  the  measured  beat  of  the  drums,  and  the  firing  of 
the  skirmishers  was  truly  exciting.  I  wish  Hood*  was 
here  to  give  you  a  description,  for  on  talking  it  over  with 
Franck,  he  was  astonished  to  find  how  clearly  he  had 
seen  it  all,  and  pointed  out  how  one  side  lost  the  vantage 
ground,  and  ultimately  was  conquered  by  that  oversight. 
Mr.  de  Franck  told  us  that  sometimes  the  soldiers 
get  so  excited  the  officers  are  obliged  to  interfere,  or 
it  would  be  fighting  in  good  earnest.  When  we  were 
setting  out  to  return,  we  saw  a  man  lying  on  the  road 

*  This  review,  no  doubt,  was  the  origin  of  a  game  of  military  ma- 
noeuvres my  father  subsequently  made  for  us.  He  got  some  common 
wooden  toy  soldiers,  and  painted  them  proper  colours,  putting  feathers, 
epaulettes,  and  all  other  necessary  accoutrements  for  officers,  band, 
and  privates,  with  colours  and  tents  for  each  regiment.  The  whole 
formed  two  armies,  which  acted  against  each  other  by  certain  rules, 
not  unlike  chess,  and  the  game  was  won  by  the  general  who  took  the 
best  position.  The  two  armies  were  supplied  with  cannon  and  cais- 
sons, baggage-wagijons,  and  all  requirements.  The  field  was  supplied 
with  bridges,  churches,  villages,  and  forts  —  all  little  models.  The 
game  was  a  most  ingenious  one,  and  afforded  us  much  amusement, 
and  was  greatly  admired  by  my  father's  friends  who  saw  it.  This  is 
another  instance  of  the  trouble  and  time  he  spent  in  finding  amusement 
for  his  children.  —  T.  H. 


182  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

side,  with  a  surgeon  attemling  him,  and  we  found  he 
had  heen  sliot  through  the  arm,  near  the  elbow,  with 
a  stone.  The  men  stuff  grass  and  earth  into  their  guns 
(though  of  course  against  orders)  to  make  a  loud  report, 
and  sometimes  they  even  put  in  stones.  On  hearing 
that  he  must  wait  till  they  got  a  cart  to  take  him  to 
the  hospital,  we  offered  to  bring  him,  which  they  gladly 
accepted.  Hood  mounted  the  box  and  they  placed  the 
poor  man  by  me,  giving  me  drops  to  put  on  sugar  to 
keep  him  from  fainting.  The  road  was  very  bad,  and 
he  suffered  sadly  from  every  jolt  of  the  carriage.  I 
never  had  so  miserable  a  ride  from  nervousness  and 
anxiety  at  seeing  him  in  such  pain.  We  heard  after- 
wards that  the  grand  people  here  thought  we  ought 
not  to  have  taken  him  in,  and  that  we  had  degraded 
ourselves,  as  he  was  only  a  private.  The  officers  were 
of  a  different  opinion ;  but  said  tliey  were  sure  the  other 
party  would  not  have  condescended  to  inquire  about 
him  at  all,  when  they  had  seen  he  was  only  a  common 
soldier.  So  much  for  the  pride  of  the  "  Yons "  —  in 
our  country,  thank  God !  it  is  a  matter  of  course  to 
afford  help  in  such  a  case.  We  have  only  once  heard 
of  the  poor  man  since,  as  they  will  not  admit  strangers 
or  even  answer  messages  at  the  hospital,  for  fear  of 
the  men's  friends  sending  them  money.  Mr.  de  Franck 
called  once  to  inquire  for  me,  he  was  then  in  bed,  and 
liis  arm  swollen  to  a  great  size  —  T  have  now  no  means 
of  hearing  more  of  him. 

*  *  It  # 

We  have  had  some  snow  lately.     I  am  afraid  this  will 
retard  Hood's  progress,  for  he  will  not  venture  on  more 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  183 

than  he  can  feel  secure  about  getting  back  again,  for 
every  step  he  takes  is  further  north. 


We  have  great  hopes  of  returning  next  year  to  Eng- 
land, if  it  please  God  to  continue  Hood's  health,  which 
of  course  so  much  depends  on,  indeed,  all  of  comfort  and 
success  !  The  hope  of  seeing  ray  dear  friends  and  native 
land  again,  renders  the  prospect  of  the  next  winter  here 
not  quite  so  cheerless.  I  fear  we  shall  miss  our  friend 
Franck  very  much,  both  his  society  and  his  many  friendly 
acts,  and  also  his  assistance  in  speaking  German,  for  we 
are  both  of  us  rather  dull  in  acquiring  it.  I  quite  pine 
after  English  books,  and  fear  when  I  return  I  shall  feed 
too  greedily,  like  a  famished  man,  and  so  not  benefit  till 
time  gives  rae  a  more  healthy  appetite.  What  a  loss  the 
musical  world  has  suffered  in  the  death  of  poor  Mali- 
bran  :  I  was  very  sorry  to  hear  of  it,  she  was  a  beauti- 
ful singer,  and  an  admirable  actress.  Hood  has  been  to 
the  Opera  at  Berlin,  and  saw  "  Undine ; "  it  was  very 
well  done  he  says,  and  all  the  Royal  family  were  pres- 
ent. The  theatre  here  is  wretched,  and  the  actors  too 
bad  to  laugh  at  even. 


D 


With  best  love  to  you  all,  believe  me  to  be  ever,  my 
dearest  Mrs.  Elliot, 

Yours  affectionately, 

Jane  Hood. 

The  following  are  extracts  from  my  father's  letters  to 
his  wife,  during  the  march. 


184  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

GoTHA,  18ih   October,  1837. 

My  own  dearest  and  best, 

I  send  you  a  packet  for  Baily :  the  "  Love  Lane  "  is 
longer  by  some  verses,  so  send  the  present  copy :  so 
much  for  business,  and  now  for  the  pleasant. 

We  parted  manfully  and  womanfully,  as  we  ought.  I 
drank  only  half  a  bottle  of  the  Rhine  wine,  and  only  the 
half  of  that,  ere  I  fell  asleep  on  the  sofa,  which  lasted 
two  hours.  It  was  the  reaction,  for  your  going  tired  me 
more  than  I  cared  to  show.  Then  I  drank  the  other 
half,  and  as  that  did  not  do,  I  went  and  retraced  our 
walk  in  the  Park,  and  sat  down  in  the  same  seat,  and  felt 
happier  and  better.  Have  not  you  a  romantic  old  hus- 
band ?  To-day  I  had  some  pain,  but  I  had  written  hard, 
and  I  resolved  at  dinner,  out  of  prudence,  and  to  set  you 
at  ease,  to  ask  for  advice,  when  good  fortune  engaged  me 
in  English  conversation  with  a  young  German  physician, 
a  capital  fellow  ;  and  over  a  bottle  of  champagne  between 
us  I  frankly  asked  his  advice  and  stated  my  symptoms. 
He  jumped  at  once  at  the  cause,  and  asked  if  I  had  trav- 
elled long  in  one  position,  &c.  I  gave  the  history  of  our 
journey,  and  he  said  it  was  nothing  but  what  I  had  sup- 
posed, a  cold  in  the  pectoral  muscles  from  that  night  in 
the  coach.  I  am  to  wear  flannel  on  the  chest,  and  that 
is  all ;  there  is  nothing  to  apprehend.  As  this  coincides 
with  my  own  views,  I  hope  it  will  set  you  quite  at  rest 
on  the  subject,  and  that  you  will  thank  me  for  putting  it 
out  of  doubt.  He  was  a  nice  fellow  and  we  are  to  meet 
again  at  Berlin.  I  go  off  to-niglit  at  seven,  and  have  lit- 
tle time.     I  think  you  will  like  the  "  Desert  Born." 

I  hope  you  got  home  safe  and  well,  and  found  all  so. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  185 

Kiss  my  darling  Fanny  and  Tom  for  me  over  and  over. 
Kindest  love  to  the  Dilkes  if  they  are  with  you.  I  have 
a  world  to  say  to  them  and  you  (my  next  will  not  be  so 
hurried).  I  must  keep  my  terrestrial  globe  of  talk  to 
some  other  time.     Take  cai'e  of  yourself 

Kiss  the  dear  children  for  me,  and  believe  me, 

Ever  yours, 

Thomas  Hood. 

23rd  October. 

My  own  dearest  and  best  Jane, 
I  feel  quite  happy,  and  more  for  your  sake  than  my 
own,  that  I  have  nothing  but  good  news  to  communi- 
cate. 

I  got  to  Halle  yesterday  rather  lute,  four  or  five  in 
the  afternoon.  There  was  a  strict  examination  of  pass- 
ports at  Erfurt,  and  mine  was  refused  a  vise  or  frizze  as 
Ileilman  calls  it ;  I  believe  because  it  was  in  French,  — 
the  Dummkopf !  I  found  Franck  domesticated  (I  ought 
to  say  quartered,  but  it  would  sound  like  cutting  up)  in 
butcher  Street,  the  very  place  for  filling  one's  cavities. 
After  some  good  beer,  bread  and  cheese,  by  way  of  din- 
ner, and  a  rest,  we  went  and  settled  all  the  passport 
affair  right,  and  then  went  to  head-quarters.  My  recep- 
tion was  very  gratifying  indeed,  they  all  seemed  really 
glad  to  see  me,  and  Franck's  captain  was  particularly 
friendly ;  and  I  quite  regret  my  loss  of  German,  as  he 
is  very  merry,  and  likes  to  talk.  There  were  some  gen- 
tlemen from  IMerseberg,  who  had  known  some  of  the 
officers  when  the  battalion  was  formerly  quartered  there, 
and  all  was  jollity.     They  were  very  friendly  too,  and  I 


186       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

felt  quite  at  home,  and  moreover,  supped  on  the  famous 

Leipsic  larks,  things  that  Martin  of Street  would 

lick  the  lips  of  his  heart  at.  Finally,  I  packed  up  my 
trunk,  &c.,  went  to  bed,  and  slept  soundly  and  dreamt 
(don't  be  jealous  for  we  cannot  command  our  dreams,  I 
wish  I  could !)  but  it  was  of  little  Tom,  God  bless  him. 
I  rose  with  the  larks,  was  well  up  to  my  time,  marched 
to  the  muster,  mounted  my  nag,  and  here  I  am,  at  a 
quarter  past  one,  writing  to  you,  after  completing  not 
only  my  first  march,  but  a  hearty  dinner.  Luck  turned 
at  last,  for  I  rose  without  any  pain,  for  the  first  time,  and 
consequently  in  good  spirits.  I  am  delighted  with  my 
nag.  Franck  has  got  him  into  such  excellent  order,  I 
was  only  off  him  twice,  but  thank  goodness  without  hurt- 
ing myself,  as  it  was  merely  dismounting  according  to 
the  regular  mode  when  we  halted.  Tell  Fanny  he  walks 
after  Franck,  and  knows  him  like  a  dog:  I  expect  to  be 
equally  good  friends  with  him,  by  feeding  him  with 
bread.  Fanny  herself  might  ride  him,  and  I  only  fear  I 
shall  be  sorry  to  part  with  him  at  last.  I  rode  so  well 
as  to  pass  muster  for  a  trooper,  and  did  the  turnpikes. 
At  one  village  a  man  said,  "  There  goes  the  doctor ! " 
The  morning  was  beautiful,  the  road  good,  and  straight 
as  a  line,  over  the  immense  plains  near  Leip^jic,  where 
60  many  a  battle  has  been  fought.  For  some  distance 
I  rode  between  the  captain  and  a  gentleman  in  plain 
clothes:  it  turned  out  he  had  formerly  b(;en  a  soldier  in 
the  battalion,  and  is  now  a  Professor,  and  there  was  I 
the  author  turned  soldier  !  I  did  wi>li  you  could  have 
gone  with  us,  the  first  halt  was  very  amusing,  such  mis- 
cellaneous breakfasting,  and  a  boy  with  a  large  tin  of  hot 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  187 

sausages,  sold  all  off  in  a  minute  to  his  surprise,  and  re- 
gret that  he  had  not  brought  a  whole  barrow  full.  The 
colonel  passed  in  a  carriage  :  I  did  not  see  him,  but  he 
stopped  Franck  to  ask  if  I  was  there,  and  sent  his  com- 
pliments. Tell  Fanny  I  was  introduced  to  Minna's 
father.  Minna  is  not  going  to  leave  Coblenz  yet,  so 
that  she  can  have  her  with  her  sometimes,  before  she 
goes.  I  assure  you  I  found  myself  getting  better  every 
mile,  and  when  we  got  here  about  ten,  felt  so  fresh,  in- 
deed, not  even  stiff,  that  I  could  not  believe  the  march 
was  over. 

From  Gotha  to  Halle  was  somewhat  tedious  in  a  hei- 
wagen  —  without  any  adventure  save  one.  At  supper, 
for  we  did  not  leave  till  nine,  there  were  two  gentlemen, 
one  of  whom  talked  with  me  a  good  deal  in  my  bad  Ger- 
man ;  but  to  my  surprise  when  we  had  gone  some  miles 
he  addressed  me  in  English.  "We  sat  together  in  the 
coupe  and  gossipped  nearly  the  whole  night  on  England, 
Bowring,  Campbell,  &c.  He  told  me  he  had  been  an 
emigre  from  Germany  on  account  of  his  politics,  which 
had  brought  him  into  great  trouble,  and  had  held  an  office 
at  the  London  University,  but  having  settled  his  differ- 
ences with  Government  is  now  a  Professor  at  some  col- 
lege in  Prussia.  Perhaps  Dilke  will  know  who  he  is. 
I  have  had  good  quartei's  as  yet.  Bill  of  fare  to-day  : 
roast  pork,  ditto  goose,  with  apples,  good  soup,  good  beer, 
pickled  cherries,  celery  roots  in  slices,  as  large  and  round 
as  turnips,  lamb's  milk  cheese  stuck  full  of  carraways.  I 
should  like  to  see  your  face  at  the  last  article.  I  ha^e 
no  more  to  say  in  the  victualling  line  except  that  Franck 
caught  Heilman  ramming  matches  into  his  cayenne  pep- 
per by  mistake  for  a  tire  bottle. 


188  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

And  now,  dearest,  it  delights  me  to  hope  and  think 
that  whilst  I  am  writing,  you  are  at  home  safe  and  well, 
and  are  just  now  sitting  down  to  dinner,  or  ought  to  be 
with  the  i^retty  little  pair ;  perhaps  with  the  pretty  big 
pair  too.  You  know  who  I  mean !  It  was  fine  weather 
for  you,  and  it  was  in  favour  of  your  impatience  that 
you  would  travel  quickest,  nearest  home.  I  hope  you 
enjoyed  the  Rhine  from  Mayence.  I  shall  long  eagerly 
to  know  about  you  all,  whether  the  Dilkes  have  left,  and 
how  he  was,  &c.,  and  how  you  bore  your  solitary  jour- 
ney. I  have  thought  of  you  continually,  and  enjoy  by 
sympathy  beforehand  the  comfort  you  will  feel  in  read- 
ing this,  a  true  and  not  a  flattering  picture  of  my  mind, 
body,  and  estate.  I  feel  really  as  well  as  I  say,  and 
have  now  no  doubt  of  getting  very  much  better  if  not 
quite  restored  by  this  trip,  with  other  advantages  to  boot. 
(There  is  a  bunch  of  comforts  for  you,  like  the  posies 
chucked  in  at  a  coach  window.)  We  drank  your  health 
in  beer  (excuse  the  liquor),  I  ramble  on  how  I  can, 
having  to  take  a  sleep,  and  then  go  in  the  evening  to 
meet  the  others,  perhaps  to  play  at  whist,  half-penny 
points.  We  are  in  a  pretty  little  village,  and  among 
people  the  reverse  of  Rhinelanders.  The  sudden  change 
from  marching  soldiers,  &c.,  is  quite  laughable ;  look  out 
of  window,  and  there  is  not  a  trace  of  military,  not  even 
a  cap  ;  all  are  indoors  snoozing,  «S:c.  In  the  evening  we 
shall  swarm  like  bees. 

Franck  will  wiile  to  you  next,  as  I  shall  be  busy,  but 
I  determined  to  show  you  to-day  by  a  long  letter  how 
well  I  was  after  my  march.  I  sliall  also  write  a  few 
lines  at  the  end  of  this  to  Fanny,  who,  I  hope,  helps  and 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  189 

pleases  you  as  much  as  she  can.     If  the  Dilkes  are  not 
gone,  give  my  love  to  them,  and  say  all  that  is  kind.     I 
left  in  a  sad  hurry,  and  had  not  even  time  to  thank  Mrs. 
Dilke,  without  whom  I  should  never  have  been  launched. 
Tell  her  I  shall  be  as  grand  over  my  march,  as  if  I  had 
crossed    the    Simplon.     If  you  write    of  your  journey 
faithfully  to  your  mother,  the  break-down  and  all,  I  sus- 
pect it  will  be  "  vardict,  sarve  '  em  right !      Hood  and 
Jane  are  both  gone  mad  together ! "     The  officers  who 
were  in  love  seem  reconciled  to  their  fate.     I  have  found 
"  my  own  Carlovicz  "  again  —  only  time  to  shake  hands, 
but  expect  him  this  evening.     Wildegans  is  well  again, 
but  gone  forward  two  hours  further  than  us.     He  was 
with  me  all  the  way  nearly.     It  will  be  our  turn  next  I 
guess  for  a  long  spell,  but  I  could  have  gone  much  fur- 
ther to-day  than  we  did.     I  have  promised  the  captain 
to  get  fat  under  his  command. 

I  fear  you  will  have  no  more  long  letters  till  the 
"Comic"  is  done;  but  am  I  not  good  for  this  one?  I 
am  quite  repaid  by  the  anticipation  of  your  pleasure  in 
it.  I  fear  you  will  have  to  copy  what  I  send  you  of 
MSS.,  for  fear  of  their  miscarrying.  I  sent  you  a  packet 
from  Gotlia, 


Mr  DEAK  Faxnt, 
I  hope  you  are  as  good  still  as  when  I  went  away  —  a 
comfort  to  your  good  mother  and  a  kind  playfellow  to 
your  little  brother.  Mind  you  tell  him  my  horse  eats 
Ijread  out  of  my  hand,  and  walks  up  to  the  officers  who 
ai"e  eating,  and  pokes  his  nose  into  the  women's  baskets. 
I  \vi.<h  I  could  give  you  both  a  ride.     I  hope  you  liked 


190  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

your  paints ;  pray  keep  them  out  of  Tom's  way,  as  they 

are  poisonous.     I  shall  have  rare  stories  to  tell  3-ou  when 

I  come  home ;  but  mind,  yoii  must  be  good  till  then,  or  I , 

shall  be  as  mute  as  a  stockfish.     Your  mama  will  show 

you   on   the  map  where  I  was  when  I  wrote  this ;    and 

when  she  writes  will  let  you  put  in  a  word.     You  would 

have  laughed  to  see  your  friend  Wildegans  running  after 

the  sausage  boy  to  buy  a  "  wilrst : "  there  was  hardly  an 

officer  without  one  in  his  hand  smoking  hot.     The  men 

piled  their  guns  on  the  grass,  and  sat  by  the  side  of  the 

road,  all  munching  at  once  like  ogres.    I  had  a  pocket-full 

of  bread  and  butter,  which  soon  went  into  my  "  cavities," 

as  INIrs.  Dilke  calls  them.     I  only  hope  I  shall  not  get  so 

hungry  as  to  eat  my  horse.     I  know  I  need  not  say,  keep 

school  and  mind  your  book,  as  you  love  to  learn.     You 

may  have  Minna  sometimes,  her  papa  says. 

Now  God  bless  you,  my  dear  little  girl,  my  pet,  and 

think  of  your 

Loving  Father, 

Thomas  Hood. 

EXTRACT. 

Potsdam. 

From  having  gone  through  woods,  full  of  old  stumps 
and  roots  of  trees,  without  a  fall,  I  begin  to  pique  myself 
on  ray  horsemanship,  but  yesterday  got  into  a  bit  of  a 
caper.  I  was  anxious  to  inquire  at  the  post-office  of 
IJelitz,  so  had  to  get  before  the  others,  which  I  all  but 
effiicted,  when,  just  entering  the  town  in  a  narrow  street, 
I  was  obliged  to  wait  with  my  horse's  nose  just  against 
the  big  drum,  which  he  objected  to  pass;  but  I  contrived 
to  keep  him  dancing  between  the  band  and  the  regiment. 
I  was  more  lucky  than  a  captain  in  Coblenz,  whose  horse 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 


191 


ran  away  with  him  slap  through  the  band,  all  of  whom  he 
upset,  breaking  their  instruments  to  the  tune  of  300  dol- 
lars damages.     I  am  glad  I  did  not  know  this  at  the  time. 

We  rise  at  four,  and  march  about  five  or  half-past :  it 
is  moonlight  earlier,  but  then  becomes  dark,  so  I  march 
till  I  can  see  the  road,  and  then  mount ;  after  about  three 
quarters  of  an  hour  we  halt  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  and 
then  on  again  to  the  general  rendezvous,  overtaking  or 
passing  other  companies  on  the  road,  for  we  are  quartered 
sometimes  widely  apart.  At  the  rendezvous  we  halt  and 
breakfast  —  a  sort  of  picnic  —  each  bringing  what  he 
can  :  if  I  had  been  searched  yesterday  they  would  have 
found  on  me  two  cold  pigeons,  aiid  a  loaf  split  and  but- 
tered. I  have  learned  to  forage,  and  always  clear  the 
table  at  my  quarters  into  my  pockets. 

It  is  an  amusing  scene  when  we  sit  down  by  the  road- 
side ;  some  of  the  officers,  who  have  had  queer  quarters, 


bring  sketches  of  them ;  one  the  other  day  had  such  a 
ruinous  house  for  his,  that  his  dog  stood  and  howled  at 


192  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

it.  At  the  inn  at  Krcmnitz,  I  had  dinner,  supper,  bed 
and  breakfast  for  7  good  groschon,  about  11  pence! 
Think  of  that,  ye  Jewish  Rhinelanders.  INIany  of  them 
moreover  returned  the  common  soldiers  the  five  groschen 
the  king  allows  for  their  billeting,  and  gave  them  a  glass 
of  sclmaps  besides.  Thej  are  a  friendly,  kind  people, 
and  meet  you  with  the  hand  held  out  to  shake,  and 
say  "  "Welcome."     I  like  the  Saxons  much.     Then  we 

marched  to  Wittenberg,  where   a   Lieut.  J ,  an  old 

friend  of  Franck's,  made  us  dine  with  him  at  the  mili- 
tary Casino.  He  spoke  French,  and  I  found  him 
very  intelligent,  and  somewhat  literary,  so  we  got  on 
well.  He  asked  me  if  we  English  had  not  a  preju- 
dice against  the  Germans,  and  I  assured  him  quite  the 
reverse. 

He  seemed  pleased,  and  said,  "  To  be  sure  we  are  of 
the  same  race "  (Saxons).  He  took  me  over  the  town, 
famous  as  one  of  Luther's  strongholds.  His  statue  con- 
veyed the  very  impression  I  had  from  a  late  paper  in  the 
"  Athenaeum,"  a  sturdy  friar,  with  a  large  thick-necked 
jowly  head,  sensual  exceedingly,  —  a  real  sort  of  bull- 
dog to  pin  the  pope's  bull.  From  thence  we  went  to 
Pruhlitz  to  our  quarters,  which  were  queerish  ;  Franck 
was  put  in  a  room  used  as  the  village  church,  and  I  in 
the  ball-room ;  we  were  certainly  transposed.  Our  sec- 
ond quarters  were  at  Nichel  near  Truenbritzen.  We 
arrived  after  a  march  of  eight  hours  and  a  half:  think 
of  that  for  me !  and  I  came  in  all  alive  and  kicking. 
AVe  got  at  it  over  wide  barren  heaths,  and  plenty  of  deep 
sand.  Our  billet  was  on  the  Burgomaster,  or  schultze, 
and  his  civic  robe  was  a  sheepskin  with  the  wool  inward, 
the  usual  wintry  dress  in  those  bleak  parts.     The  lady 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  193 

mayoress  a  stout,  plump,  short-faced  mutterhin,  with  a 
vast  number  of  petticoats  to  make  amends  for  shortness. 
I  told  my  host  I  was  an  English  burgomaster,  so  we  kept 
up  a  great  respect  and  fellowship  for  each  other.  You 
would  have  lau":hed  to  see  Bonkowski  hugging  and  kiss- 
ing  the  Frau  —  it  is  reckoned  an  honour  —  and  the 
husbands  stand  and  look  on  ;  we  shook  hands  all  around, 
and  then  dined ;  I  was  not  too  curious  about  the  cookery, 
and  ate  heartily.  Every  time  I  came  to  the  window,  a 
whole  group  in  sheepskins,  like  baa  lambs  on  their  hind 
legs,  pointed  me  out  to  each  other,  and  took  a  good  stare, 
so  I  suppose  Englanders  are  rarities.  At  leaving,  the 
Burgomaster  inquired  very  anxiously  about  me,  and 
being,  as  he  thought,  in  the  way  to  get  information,  he 
said  he  had  heard  of  Flanders,  and  wanted  to  know  if  it 
was  money  like  florins  !    There  was  a  Worship  for  you  ! 


"We  had  but  two  beds,  one  for  me,  and  one  for  Bon- 
kowski, and  Franck  was  on  the  straw. 

Thence  we  went  to  Schlunkendoi'f  (  what  a  name ! ) 

near   Belitz:    quartered   at   a   miller's,  very  clean  and 

wholesome,  but  only  two  beds,  so  Franck  was  littered 

down  again.     I  wanted  the  host  to  give  him  corn  instead 

of  straw  by  mistake,  and  then  come  and  thi'ash  them  both 

out  together.     I  forgot  to  say  the  little  captain  called  on 

me  at  Pruhlitz  to  see  how  I  was,  and  took  tea  with  us. 

Last  night  I  called  on  Bonkowski,  who  was  opposite  to 

us  ;  I  found  him  flirting  with  the  Frau.     I  told  her  I  had 

come   50,000    miles,   was   married  at    1-i,  and  had  17 

children  ;  and  as  I  was  in  yellow  boots,  and  INIrs.  D.'s 
voi,.  I.  9  >i 


194  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

present  of  a  robe,  and  really  looked  a  Grand  Turk,  she 
believed  me  like  Gospel.  We  made  a  Welch  rabbit  for 
supper,  and  then  played  loo  till  bed-time  for  pfennings  ;• 
I  had  a  young  officer  for  our  third  instead  of  Bonkowski. 
This  morning  I  rode  over  from  Schlunkendorf  to  Belitz, 
Heilman  taking  back  the  mare,  where  I  found  your  wel- 
come letter,  and  started  by  diligence  to  Potsdam,  where 
I  am,  having  just  eaten  a  capital  dinner  —  chiefly  a  plate 
of  good  English-like  roasted  mutton  —  and  a  whole  bottle 
of  genuine  English  porter,  I  am  to  brush  up  here  to 
see  them  parade  before  the  king  to-morrow  morning. 

Then  a  day's  rest  here,  and  then  to  Berlin.  After  the 
parade,  a  party  of  us  are  going  to  Sans  Souci,  and  so 
forth,  sight  seeing.  Franck  hopes  to  introduce  me  to  the 
Radziwills  at  Berlin  ;  I  liave  no  pain,  and  really  wonder 
how  I  march.  But  I  had  made  up  my  heart  and  mind 
to  it,  and  that  is  everything ;  it  keeps  me,  I  think,  from 
falling  off  my  horse,  I  am  so  determined  to  stick  to  him, 
and  keep  my  wits  always  about  me :  in  fact  I  quite  enjoy 
it,  and  only  wish  I  could  retui'n  so,  't  is  so  much  better 
than  being  jammed  up  in  a  diligence,  and,  says  you,  "  less 
dangerous !  " 

Pray  tell  my  dear  good  Fanny  that  at  Schlunkendorf, 
there  Avas  a  tame  robin,  that  killed  all  the  flies  in  the 
room,  hopped  on  the  table,  and  the  edges  of  our  plates, 
for  some  dinner.  I  am  delighted  with  her  keeping  her 
promise  to  me. 

My  project  is  to  go  with  the  10th  Company  to  Custrin, 
and  then  home  by  Frankfort  on  the  Oder,  Breslau, 
Dresden,  Frankfort  on  tlie  Maine,  IMayence,  Coblenz, 
where  God  send  I  may  find  you  all  Avell. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  195 

I  forgot  to  say  I  composed  a  song  for  the  19  th,  which 
made  them  all  laugh.     I  send  it  for  you. 

SONG  FOR  THE   NINETEENTH. 

The  morning  sky  is  hung  with  mist, 
The  rolling  drum  the  street  alarms, 

The  host  is  paid,  his  daughter  kiss'd  — 
So  now  to  arms  !  to  arms  !  to  arms  ! 

Our  evening  bowl  was  strong  and  stiff, 
And  may  we  get  such  quarters  oft, 

I  ne'er  was  better  lodged,  —  for  if 
The  straw  was  hard,  the  maid  was  soft. 

So  now  to  arms  !  to  arms  !  to  arms  ! 

And  fare  thee  well,  my  little  dear ; 
And  if  they  ask  who  won  your  charms. 

Why  say  —  "  't  was  in  your  nineteenth  year  !  " 

Berlin,  October  25lh. 
The  country  round  Berlin,  the  Mark  of  Brandenburg, 
is  bitter  bad,  deep  sand  almost  a  desert :  I  don't  wonder 
the  Great  Frederick  wanted  something  bettei*.  Some 
parts  of  our  marches,  through  the  forests,  with  the  bugles 
ringing,  were  quite  romantic,  and  the  costume  of  the 
villagers,  when  they  turned  out  to  see  us  pass,  really  pic- 
turesque. I  have  now  made  five  marches,  and  am  not 
fatigued  to  speak  of.  I  am  sworn  comrade  with  most  of 
the  officers  ;  one  rough-looking  old  captain  told  me  when 
he  got  to  Berlin,  he  should  have  his  Polish  cook,  and  then 
he  should  ask  me  to  dinner,  promising  me  an  "  overgay  " 
evening,  which  I  shall  take  care  to  get  out  off.     By-the- 


19G  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

by,  when  we  were  at  the  burgomaster's,  I  saw  said  cap- 
tain, striding  up  and  down  in  a  great  fume  before  tlie 
house  ;  it  turned  out  he  was  to  sleep  in  the  same  room 
with  a  man,  his  wife  and  seve7i  children  !  which  he  de- 
clined. Finally,  I  believe,  he  Avas  put  in  the  school- 
room in  an  extempore  bed.  "We  are  often  short  of 
knives,  spoons,  and  forks,  but  the  poor  creatures  do  their 
best  and  cheerfully,  so  that  it  quite  relishes  the  victuals. 
I  shake  their  hands  heartily,  when  we  part.  Yesterday 
I  had  a  nice  dessert  of  grapes,  sent  over  to  me  by  Bon- 
kowski,  and  they  are  scarce  in  these  regions. 

Carlovicz  one  niglit  got  no  quarters  at  all :  it  is  quite 
a  lottery.  .  You  should  have  seen  Wildegans  riding  ou 
a  baggage  waggon  between  suttlers  !  Tell  Tom  that 
Franck  comes  to  pat  my  horse,  and  she  spits  all  over 
him  sometimes,  for  she  has  rare  yeasty  jaws  ;  and  yester- 
day I  had  the  prudence  to  take  myself  to  leeward  after 
spangling  the  captain's  cloak  all  over !  She  eats  rarely, 
and  will  sell  well  I  dare  say,  but  I  shall  be  sorry  to  part 
with  her.  When  I  find  myself  on  horseback,  riding 
through  a  long  wood  with  a  regiment,  it  seems  almost 
like  a  dream  ;  your  mother  will  no  more  believe  it  than 
your  upset.  You  have  sul)j(!cts  enough  now  for  the  El- 
liots with  a  vengeance,  and  so  shall  I  have  !  I  wish  I 
could  wish  the  Dilkes  may  be  comfortably  in  Coblenz  by 
my  return.  As  they  are  not  wanted,  they  would  see 
the  vintage  ;  God  bless  them  any  way,  and  say  every- 
thing kind  for  me.  I  really  think  they  might  stay  longer 
in  Coblcnz,  (piict  ami  clieap  enough,  and  recover  thor- 
oughly, against  their  winler  campaign  of  company  ;  I 
long  to  see  them  again  ere  tliey  cross  the  sea. 


JIEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  197 

I  have  rambled  on  to  amuse  you,  and  left  little  room 
to  say  all  I  could  wish  to  yourself;  but  you  Avill  find  in 
your  own  heart  the  echo  of  all  I  have  to  say  (rather  an 
Irish  one,  but  a  truth-teller). 


I  seem  to  have  scarcely  had  an  inconvenience,  cer- 
tainly not  a  hardship,  and  it  will  ever  be  a  pleasant 
thins:  for  me  to  remember.  I  like  little  troubles ;  I  do 
not  covet  too  flowery  a  path.  By-the-by  I  have  some 
dried  flowers  for  my  flower-loving  Fanny,  gathered  at 
odd  out-of-the-way  places ;  I  will  show  her  where  on  the 
map  when  I  return. 

It  was  singular  in  the  sheepskin  country,  whilst  the 
men  were  all  so  warmly  pelissed,  to  see  the  women  in 
their  short  petticoats,  their  legs  looking  so  cold.  I  stis- 
pect  I  pass  for  very  hardy,  if  not  fool-hai'dy,  I  slight  the 
cold  so  ;  but  it  seems  to  me  a  Gei-man  characteristic,  that 
they  can  bear  being  sugar-bakers,  but  can  hardly  endure 
what  I  call  a  bracinj;  air. 


Bless  you,  bless  you,  again  and  again,  my  dear  one, 
my  only  one,  my  one  as  good  as  a  thousand  to 

Your  old  Unitarian  in  love, 

T.  H. 

P.  S.  If  Desdemona  loved  Othello  "  for  the  dangers 
he  had  passed,"  how  shall  I  love  you  ?  With  my  utmost 
diligence,  or  rather  so  much  more  than  my  heart  can  hold, 
that  it  must  get  a  beiwagen  !  And  with  that  earnest  joke, 
good  bye. 


198  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

Berlin,  October  29^t. 
My  dearest  Lote, 

Here  I  am  safe  —  but  my  march  is  over !  The  Prince 
Radziwill  has  invited  Franck  to  stay  two  or  three  weeks 
here,  so  he  of  course  stays.  As  he  was  the  pretext 
for  my  journey,  I  cannot  well  go  without  him,  but  had 
planned  to  return  by  Dresden  and  Leipsic.  To-day, 
however,  it  snows ;  and  for  fear  of  bad  roads,  &c.,  I 
think  I  shall  come  direct.  Moreover,  owing  to  the  hurry 
I  have  none  of  my  papers  or  lists  with  me,  so  that  I  find 
it  difficult  to  do  anything  Avith  the  "  Comic."  You  may 
look  for  me,  therefore,  in  a  fortnight  from  the  date  of 
this.  I  hope  the  Dilkes  will  not  be  gone.  I  shall  not 
write  again.  I  am  very  well,  and  busy  going  about.  I 
saw  the  Cadet  school  here  yesterday  morning.  I  swig 
away  at  good  London  porter.     Don't  you  envy  me  ? 

Last  night  I  was  at  the  opera  —  "Undine"  —  the 
whole  royal  family  present ;  it  was  very  well  done,  and 
I  really  longed  for  Tibbie,  it  was  so  full  of  fairy  work. 
Nearly  the  whole  of  the  19  th  were  there,  and  AVildegans 
says  he  regrets  not  to  have  heard  the  comments  of  the 
men.  I  have  been  with  him  to  the  exhibition  of  pictures 
this  morning.  Then  we  took  leave,  and  it  made  me 
quite  down  to  say  Good-bye  to  so  many,  and  probably 
for  ever.  He  desired  me  to  say  everything  that  is  kind 
to  you,  Fanny,  and  Tom.  I  was  introduced  to  the  Colo- 
nel last  night,  at  the  opera.  We  have  a  great  joke 
amongst  us :  half  the  officers  having  a  day  or  two's  leave, 
stay  here  behind  the  regiment ;  they  lunch  with  me  some- 
times, and  we  call  it  "eating  the  horse."  I  suppose  I 
shall  get  rid  of  botii  him  and  his  price  before  1  leave. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  199 

I  have  met  with  no  disagreeables  here,  which  will 
please  you,  and  shall  reserve  all  stones  for  our  tete-a- 
tetes.     In  a  fortnight  you  may  expect  me. 

Tell  my  dear  Fanny  I  was  very  much  pleased  with 
her  letter,  and  so  was  her  friend  Franck.  I  gave  her 
love  to  Wildegans  and  Carlovicz.  I  parted  with  Wilde- 
gans  yesterday,  about  two  o'clock.  I  reckon  I  shall  never 
see  him  again.  lie  desired  everything  kind  to  be  said  to 
you,  and  said  he  should  never  forget  us,  and  spoke  of  the 
children,  "  kkine  Tom  and  Fannie  la  fctiter 

God  bless  you  all  three,  dear  ones ! 

Berlin,  NoveniAer  2nd,  1836. 
My  own  dearest  and  best  Love, 
I  do  not  know  whether  this  will  reach  you  on  your 
birthday,  but  I  hope  so. 


I  have  been  very  busy  sight-seeing,  and  very  gay. 
The  day  before  yesterday  Franck  brought  me  an  invita- 
tion from  Prince  WiUiam  Radziwill,  the  head  of  the  fam- 
ily, to  dine  with  him  at  three  o'clock.  I  was  run  for 
time,  having  to  get  dress-boots,  «&c. ;  and  to  crown  all,  a 
coach  ordered  at  half-past  two  did  not  arrive  till  three, 
nor  could  I  make  them  understand  to  get  another.  Thank 
heaven,  the  dear  Frincesses  were  long  in  dressing,  for  it 
would  have  been  awful  to  have  kept  them  waiting. 

They  say  no  man  is  a  prophet  in  his  own  country,  and 
here  literature  certainly  came  in  for  its  honours.  The 
Prince  introduced  me  himself  to  every  one  of  his  family, 
who  all  tried  to  talk  to  me,  most  of  them  speaking  Eng- 


200  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

lish  very  well.  Some  spoke  French,  so  I  got  on  very 
well,  save  a  little  deafness.  The  Prince  placed  me  him- 
self next  to  him  at  dinner,  on  his  right  hand,  and  talked 
■with  me  continually  during  dinner,  telling  me  stories  and 
anecdotes,  &c.,  and  I  tried  to  get  out  of  his  debt  by  some 
of  mine.  There  were  present  Prince  William,  Prince 
Boguslaw  Radziwill,  Prince  Adam  Czartoriski,  Prince 
Edmund  Clary,  Count  Wildenbruch  (whom  I  had  met 
before),  Count  Lubienski,  Councillor  Miclialski,  Ilofraih 
Kupsach,  Captain  Crawford,  R.  jSf.,  Princess  Clary,  Prin- 
cess Felicia  Clary,  Princess  Euphemia  Cliiry,  Princess 
Boguslaw  Radziwill,  Princess  Wanda  Czartoriski,  and 
Miss  von  Lange,  lady-in-waiting.  So  I  was  in  august 
company.  (Franck  was  obliged  to  dine  at  the  Duke  of 
Cumberland's.)  I  was  quite  delighted  with  the  whole 
family;  they  are  all  excellent.  I  stayed  till  seven. 
We  were  very  merry  after  dinner.  Franck  came  in,  and 
the  Princes  kept  telling  me  sporting  anecdotes  about 
themselves  and  him.  Prince  William  proposed  to  call 
on  me  and  see  my  sketches,  but  I  told  him  I  had  none, 
and  tlien  begged  liis  acceptance  of  my  books,  which  I  am 
to  send.  The  Princesses  asked  me  to  send  them  this 
year's  "  Comic."  Both  the  Prince  Radziwills  shook 
hands  with  me  at  parting.  They  (the  Princes)  have 
since  spoken  of  visiting  me,  but  Franck  declined  it,  on 
the  plea  of  ray  being  so  far  off;  for  the  place  was  so  full, 
not  a  bed  was  to  be  had  when  I  arrived  at  that  end,  and 
I  am  in  quite  a  tiiird-rate  hotel,  at  the  opposite  quarter. 

I  have  moi-e  particulars  to  tell  you  when  we  meet,  but 
I  knew  you  would  be  pleased  to  hear  of  this.  The  Duke 
of  Cumberland  asked  Franck  who  "  that  gentleman  was 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  201 

■who  marched  with  his  regiment,"  and  was  surprised  to 
hear  it  was  me ;  he  had  been  told  it  was  an  officer. 
Prince  George  siDoke  in  such  very  handsome  terms  of 
me,  that  I  left  my  card  for  him.  As  he  regretted  not 
having  had  the  last  "  Comic,"  Franck  presented  one  of 
his.  It  is  a  sad  pity,  but  the  Prince  is  quite  blind ;  a  fine 
young  man,  and  very  amiable.  I  do  not  know  whether 
I  shall  see  any  of  the  Princes  again  before  I  go,  but  I 
expect  I  must  call  to  take  leave.  They  had  even  read 
«  Tylney  Hall ! " 


Since  writing  the  above,  I  have  been  unwell,  and 
could  not  meet  Franck  as  I  promised  at  the  Exhibition. 
I  think  principally  it  arose  from  a  sudden  change  in  the 
weather,  from  really  severe  frost  to  rain.  Only  yester- 
day we  were  walking  in  the  fish  market,  where  the  huge 
tubs  of  jack,  carp,  «S:c.,  were  almost  frozen  hard,  but  to- 
day the  streets  are  covered  with  genuine  ZoncZon-like 
mud.  I  have  seen  Franck,  however,  at  the  cafe  where 
I  dine,  and  he  told  me  Pi'ince  William  called  on  me  yes- 
terday, and  the  other  Princes  to-day,  also  Count  Wilden- 
bi'uch.  This  is  really  most  flattering  attention.  I  sent  to- 
day to  one  of  the  Princes  a  written  account  of  Fi-anck's 
tumble  into  the  Lahn,  which  I  expect  will  make  them 
laugh,  as  I  had  highly  embellished  it.  Franck  is  gone 
again  to-night  to  the  Duke  of  Cumberland's.  We  only 
meet  by  snatches.  He  and  a  young  lieutenant.  Von 
Heugel,  are  all  I  see  now  of  the  IDtli.  Tlie  latter  and  I 
are  very  good  friends :  he  is  quite  young,  and  having 
leave  as  long  as  Fratick's,  and  more  leisure,  we  go  about 

9* 


202  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

together  a  good  deal.  You  should  hear  the  lamentations 
of  Frauck  and  myself,  that  you  are  not  here,  —  it  is 
really  amusing. 

Yesterday  I  was  in  the  Musee,  and  saw  some  wonder- 
ful pictures :  the  "  Titian's  Daughter,"  for  instance.  I 
should  like  to  be  one  of  the  attendants  for  a  month. 
There  were  some  curious  antique  pieces  I  will  describe 
when  we  meet.  Altogether  I  have  had  a  most  happy 
time  of  it,  and  in  health  and  every  respect  have  reason 
to  be  highly  gratified.  I  am  now  all  right  —  a  little  good 
port  wine,  which  all  the  otiicers  here  recommended  me  to 
take  to-night,  has  cured  me,  and  here  I  am  writing  to  you 
with  the  spirits  of  a  lark,  in  the  hope  that  after  a  couple 
or  three  days,  every  hour  will  bring  me  nearer  to  all  that 
is  dearest  to  me  on  earth. 


The  following  letter  was  written,  after  my  father's  re- 
turn fi'om  Berlin,  to  his  friend,  Mr.  de  Franck,  who  was 
then  with  liis  regiment  at  Bromberg.  My  father  missed 
him  sadly  on  many  accounts,  and  indeed  I  think,  after  lie 
left,  Coblenz  became  very  dreary  and  tedious  to  him. 
They  were  fellow  disciples  of  Izaak  Walton  in  the  "  gen- 
tle art  of  angling,"  and  after  liis  friend's  departure,  my 
father  found  his  pleasant  fishing  rambles  had  lost  their 
greatest  charm.  They  had  spent  so  many  happy  days 
Avith  rod  and  line  at  Lahneck,  and  by  the  side  of  the 
Moselle,  &c.,  that  the  old  haunts  seemed  very  lonely  and 
deserted  after  Mr.  do  Franck  left.  The  frequent  address 
of  "Tim  says  he"  between  them,  arose  from  the  follow- 
ing dialogue  which  my  father  had  picked  up  somewhere. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  203 

The  characters  were  supposed  to  be  a  thoughtless  Irish- 
man in  difficulties,  and  his  more  prudent  servant,  and  the 
conversation  ran  thus  :  — 

•"  Tim  !  "  says  he. 

«  Sir  ! "  says  he. 

"  Fetch  me  my  hat,"  says  he, 

"  That  I  may  go,"  says  he, 

"  To  Timahoe,"  says  he, 

"  And  go  to  the  fair,"  says  he, 

"  And  see  all  that 's  there  !  "  says  he. 

"  First  pay  what  you  owe  !  "  says  he, 

"  And  then  you  may  go,"  says  he, 

"  To  Timahoe,"  says  he, 

"  And  go  to  the  fair,"  says  he, 

"  And  see  all  that 's  there  ! "  says  he. 

"  Now  by  this  and  by  that,"  says  he, 

"  —  Tim,  hang  up  my  hat !  "  says  he. 

This  so  tickled  their  fancies  that  "  Tim  says  he  "  was 
a  far  more  frequent  preface  and  salutation  than  their 
own  proper  names.  The  origin  of  the  nickname  "  John- 
ny," I  have  not  been  able  to  trace. 

752,  Alten  Graben,  Coblenz,  Dec.  2nd,  1836. 

Tim,  says  he. 
It  was  odd  enough  I  should  have  my  accident  too  as  if 
to  persuade  me  that  German  eilwagens  are  the  most 
dangerous  vehicles  in  the  world  —  but  about  four  o'clock 
on  the  third  morning,  after  a  great  "  leap  in  the  dark," 
the  coach  turned  short  round,  and  brought  up  against  the 
rails  of  the  roadside ;  luckily  they  were  strong,  or  we 
should  have  gone  over  a  precipice.     There  we  were  on 


204  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

the  top  of  a  bleak  hill,  the  pole  having  broken  short  off, 
till  Ave  were  fetched  by  beiwageiis,  to  the  next  station, 
where  a  new  pole  was  made  ;  but  it  delayed  us  six  hours. 
Here  I  got  the  first  of  my  cold,  for  the  weather  and  wind 
were  keen  ;  the  night  journey  from  Frankfort  to  Mayence 
in  an  open  coupe  confirmed  it.  I  could  not  help  falling 
asleep  in  it  from  cold.  So  I  came  home  looking  well, 
and  as  ruddy  as  bacon ;  but  the  very  next  day  turned 
ivMte  with  a  dreadful  cough,  which  ended  in  spitting 
blood ;  but  I  sent  for  the  doctor,  was  bled,  and  it  was 
stopped :  but  I  am  still  weak.  To  make  things  better  I 
had  not  sent  enough  for  the  "  Comic,"  and  was  obliged 
to  set  to  work  again,  willy-nilly,  well  or  illy.  I  have 
not  been  out  of  doors  yet  since  I  came  home,  but  shall  in 
a  day  or  two.  The  Rhine  and  Moselle  are  very  high  — 
the  Castor  Street  is  flooded  —  the  weather  being  very 
mild  —  but  I  guess  cold  is  coming,  for  I  saw  a  fellow 
bring  into  the  town  to-day  a  very  large  wolf  on  his 
shoulders.  He  ^vas  as  fat  as  a  pig.  1  found  all  well  at 
home.  Tom  stared  his  eyes  out  at  me,  almost,  and  for 
two  days  would  scarcely  quit  my  lap.  He  talks  and 
sings  like  a  parrot.  I  should  have  liked  to  see  your 
Grand  Hunt  (a  Battue),  but  for  sport  I  would  lather 
take  my  dog  and  gun  and  pick  up  what  I  could  find. 
The  night  procession  must  have  looked  well.  Poor 
Dilkc  went  away  very  unwell,  but  the  last  account  of 
him  was  better.  I  did  not  get  home  soon  enough  to  see 
him.  I  am  going  to  give  him  a  long  account  of  my 
march.  I  think  the  horse  sold  very  well,  but  cannot 
fancy  what  you  will  do  with  the  saddle,  unless  you  put  it 
on  a  clothcs-liorsc  when  you  want  to  ride.    Don't  forget  in 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  205 

your  next  to  let  me  know  the  fate  of  the  cheese.  I  guess 
it  got  "  high  and  mity  "  enough  to  deserve  a  title. 
Oh  !  I  do  miss  the  porter  at  Berlin  !  Schumacher's  is  to 
let  again,  and  the  beer  we  get  is  "  ecc-crabble  !  "  I  hope 
next  winter  to  taste  it  in  London,  but  can  form  no  plans 
till  my  health  clears  up  more.  I  must  beg  you  in  your 
next  to  give  me  the  list  of  the  officers.  I  was  to  have 
had  it  before  we  parted,  as  I  begin  my  German  book 
with  the  march.     How  do  you  find  your  quarters  ?     Are 

there   any  Miss  A s   at  Bromberg  ?     By-the-by,  I 

undertook  a  letter  from  Lieutenant  B •  to  deliver 

here,  and  sent  it  by  Katchen,  who  says  the  mother  came 
in  and  made  a  bit  of  a  7-ow.  But  I  cannot  well  under- 
stand what  she  said  in  German.  Perhaps  there  has 
been  a  cat  let  out  of  the  bag,  the  young  lady  having  left 
the  letter  lying  on  the  table  in  view  of  the  mamma. 

How  is  Wildegans  ?  and  do  you  ever  see  him  and 
Carlovicz  ?  My  kind  regards  to  both,  and  most  friendly 
remembrances  to  all  you  see,  not  forgetting  my  captain. 
How  you  will  delight  in  settling  down  to  your  drill 
duties  and  parades  after  so  much  gaiety  !  I  quite  envy 
you :  a  few  raw  recruits  would  be  quite  a  ti'eat !  You 
do  not  tell  me  whether  you  had  any  trolling  with  Prince 
Boguslaflf:  all  our  old  fishing-stands  by  the  Moselle  are 
under  water.  I  hope  to  get  out  a  "Comic"  early  in 
the  spring,  and  the  books  for  Berlin ;  but  I  shall  not 
know  how  to  get  anything  over  before,  as  I  guess  land- 
carriage  Cometh  very  dear,  and  they  must  come  via 
Ostend  till  the  Ehine-boats  run  again.  Perhaps  my 
painter  will  come  out  early ;  as  Jane  has  told  you  I  am 
to  be  "  done  in  oil."     I  have  now  no  news  —  how  should 


,  206  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

I  have  ?  for  I  have  at  least  been  room-ridden.     I  i«hall 

take  to  my  rod  again  as  soon  as  the  season  begins  ;  but 

I  shall  miss  you,  Johnny,  and  your  "  wenting  in."  *     I 

must  promise  you  a  better  letter  next  time.     This  is  only 

a  brief  from, 

Dear  Johnny, 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Johnny. 

Fanny  and  Tom  send  their  little  loves. 

CoBLEXZ,  December  Ibth,  1836. 
My  dear  Wright, 

Now  for  a  slight  sketch  of  my  march.  Our  start 
was  a  pretty  one.  We  were  to  go  at  six,  Jane  and 
I,  by  the  coach,  and  were  to  be  called  by  four.  Every- 
thing ready,  but  not  all  packed.  I  woke  by  chance  at 
half-past  five,  our  servant  —  hang  her  German  phlegm! 
—  being  still  in  bed.  Now,  as  all  mails,  &c.,  here  are 
government  concerns,  you  pay  beforehand,  at  the  post- 
office,  fare,  postilions,  turnpikes,  and  all,  which  makes 
it  very  pleasant  to  lose  your  place. 

By  a  miracle  —  I  cannot  imagine  how  —  Mrs.  Dilke 
helping,  we  somehow  got  Jane's  bag  and  my  portman- 
teau rammed  full,  and  caught  the  coach  just  setting  off. 
A  fine  day,  and  a  fine  view  of  the  Rheingau,  for  we 
went  round  by  the  Baths  to  Frankfort-on-Maine,  but 
"dooms"  slow,  for  it  is  hilly  all  the  way,  and  they 
walked  up,  and  dragyed  on  slowly  down. 

*  Mr.  Fr.inck  Iiiul  so  forgotten  his  English  as  to  make  little  mistakes 
at  times,  :in<l  once  s:\iil  ho  "  wented  in"  somewhere.  Of  course  this 
gave  my  father  an  opportunity  for  imcenting  endles.s  fun.  —  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  207 

Started  in  the  evening-coach  from  Frankfort  for 
Eisenach.  Myself  taken  very  ill  in  the  night ;  but  had 
some  illness  hanging  about  me  brought  to  a  crisis  by 
being  stived  up,  all  windows  shut,  Avitli  four  Germans 
stinking  of  the  accumulated  smoke  and  odour,  stale,  flat, 
and  unprofitable,  of  perhaps  tivo  years'  reeking  garlic 
and  what  not,  besides  heat  insufferable.  I  was  for  some- 
time insensible,  unknown  to  Jane,  and,  coming-to  again, 
let  down  the  window,  which  let  in  a  very  cold  wind, 
but  delicious  to  me,  for  it  seemed  like  a  breeze  through 
the  branches  and  blossoms  of  the  tree  of  life.  But  it 
was  the  cause  of  a  severe  cold  on  the  chest.  We  slept 
at  Eisenach ;  next  morning  posted  to  Langen  Seltzei's, 
the  head-quarters.   *   *   * 

I  shall  soon  begin  on  my  German  book  with  "  wigger." 
I  have  material  prepared.  Minor  adventures  on  the 
march  I  have  not  given,  as  you  will  see  them  there. 
I  pique  myself  on  the  punctuality  of  my  brief  military 
career.  I  was  never  too  late,  and  always  had  my  bag- 
gage packed  by  my  own  hands  ready  for  the  waggon. 
It  was  almost  always  dark  at  setting  out,  and  I  had  to 
lead  my  horse  till  I  could  see.  After  half  an  hour, 
or  an  hour,  we  took  generally  a  quarter's  rest,  for  a 
sort  of  after-breakfast;  then  made  for  the  general  ren- 
dezvous, where  we  piled  arms,  and  all  fell  to  work  on 
our  victuals,  —  a  strange  picnic,  each  bringing  what 
he  could ;  and  we  made  reports,  and  some  showed 
sketches  of  their  last  night's  quarters.  On  the  whole, 
I  was  very  fortunate.  Some  were  regularly  hovelled, 
in  pigeon-houses  or  anywhere.  It  was  a  lottery.  On 
the  march  I  rode  by  turns  at  the  head  or  the  tail  of  the 


208  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

companies,  talking  with  such  of  tlie  olHcers  as  could 
speak  French.  They  were,  one  and  all,  very  friendly, 
and  glad  of  my  company.  I  almost  wondered  at  myself, 
to  find  that  I  could  manage  my  horse  so  well,  for  we 
had  queer  ground  sometimes,  when  we  took  short  cuts. 

I  assure  you  sometimes  I  have  almost  asked  myself 
the  question,  whether  I  was  I,  seeming  to  be  so  much 
out  of  my  ordinary  life,  —  for  example,  on  horseback, 
following,  or  rather  belonging  to,  a  company  of  soldiers  ; 
the  bugle  ringing  through  a  vast  pine  wood  to  keep  us 
together,  or  the  men  perhaps  singing  Polish  songs  in 
chorus,  for  this  is  a  Polish  regiment  chiefly. 

About  a  year  ago  I  had  a  military  cloak,  at  the  con- 
tractoi''s  price,  from  Berlin,  but  without  any  idea  of  a 
march.  Thanks  to  it,  and  my  horse,  having  been  a  cap- 
tain of  engineers',  with  its  saddle-cloth,  &c.,  I  cheated  the 
king  of  all  the  road-money,  for  they  let  me  pass  all  the 
toll-houses  as  an  officer.  I  was  taken  alternately  for  the 
chaplain  and  doctor  of  the  regiment.  It  did  rae  a  world 
of  good,  but  the  finish  marred  all  again.  I  was  disap- 
pointed at  not  going  to  the  end  with  thcin,  but  as  De 
Franck  stays,  I  could  not  well  proceed ;  and  I  have  since 
heard  he  has  been  stopped  three  weeks  more,  to  go  on  a 
grand  hunting  party  into  Austria.  I  am  going  to  set  to 
work  to  learn  German  during  this  winter,  as  I  know  I 
shall  be  able  to  turn  it  to  account.  I  am  reading  the  pa- 
pers, but  they  are  not  worth  reading. 

I  shall  be  very  happy  to  see  Mr.  L and  show  him 

all  the  countenance  I  can  in  Coblcnz  as  a  portrait-paint- 
er, by  letting  him  take  my  own,  but,  for  my  part,  I  never 
got  any  good  of  my  face  yet,  except  that  it  once  got  me 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  209 

credit  for  eighteen  pence  at  a  shop,  when  I  had  gone  out 
without  my  purse.  If  he  has  not  yet  seen  the  Rhine,  he 
will  find  the  "  face  of  nature  "  very  well  worth  his  atten- 
tions, and  I  shall  have  much  pleasure  in  offering  him 
such  hospitality  as  we  have  here,  —  for  it  is  not  quite 
English  in  its  fare,  this  good  town.  But  a  change  is 
sometimes  agreeable.  I  had  a  change  of  it  on  the 
march,  and  I  cooked  our  supper  of  Welsh-rabbits  one 
night,  but  though  it  was  good  Stilton  cheese,  no  less,  the 
two  German  officers  we  invited  express,  would  n't  eat  it. 
It  ran  a  near  chance  of  being  thrown  away,  because  it 
was  turning  blue.  I  must  tell  you  of  a  good  joke.  I 
sent  De  Franck's  servant  with  my  passport  to  a  country 
Burgomaster  to  be  vise,  —  he  brought  it  back  with  a 
message  that  "  I  could  not  be  '■frizzed  without  coming  in 
person  ! "  Encore.  They  use  little  fire  bottles  very 
much  here,  —  one  morning  at  four  o'clock  we  were  an 
immense  time  getting  a  light,  the  bugle  had  sounded  long 
ago,  —  at  last  we  found  him  with  a  bundle  of  about  fifty 
phosphoric  matches,  trying  them  all  by  turns  in  our  little 
pJiial  of  Cayenne,  very  much  bothered  that  they  would 
not  catch  fire.  And  now,  dear  "Wright,  adieu,  with  kind 
regards, 

Yours,  ever  truly, 

Tnos.  Hood. 

752,  Alten  Geaden,  Coblexz,  26</j  Dec,  1836. 

My  dear  Dilke, 
I  intended  to  write  to  you  long  ago,  but,  as  usual,  I 
have  been  laid  up  in  ordinary,  a  phrase  you  must  get 
some  Navy  Pay  Officer  to  translate.     My  marching  in 


210  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

fact  ended  like  Le  Fevre's  (it  ought  to  be  Le  Fever)  in 
a  sick  bed  —  my  regiment  came  to  a  regimen!  Oh, 
Dilke,  what  humbugs  of  travellers  you  and  I  be  now, 
that  we  cannot  compass  a  few  hundred  miles,  but  the 
leech  must  be  called  in  at  the  end  !  I  came  home,  look- 
ing ruddy  as  a  ploughboy,  and,  excepting  some  signs  of 
my  old  local  weakness,  better  apparently  than  since  I 
have  been  here  ;  but  almost  the  next  day  after  my  re- 
turn, I  turned  white,  with  a  most  unaccountable  depres- 
sion, which  ended  in  a  fit  of  spitting  blood  as  before. 

Dr.  S was  immediately  sent  for  —  I  was  bled,  and 

there  was  no  return. 

Now  I  cannot  believe  that  such  a  poor  crow  as  I  can 
have  too  much  blood.  I  suspect  this  time  it  was  a  touch 
on  the  lungs,  which  were  never  touched  before,  being 
indeed  my  strongest  point.  I  attribute  it  to  our  unlucky 
accident  of  the  coach  —  at  four  o'clock  of  a  cold,  windy 
morning.  However,  I  am  nearly  right  again,  but  weak 
and  low  — rather  :  your  kind  letter  has  just  arrived  with 
its  good  news,  quite  equal  to  three  cheers,  one  for  Dilke, 
one  for  the  "  Comic,"  and  one  for  myself.  I  was  afraid 
the  first  would  be  worse  for  his  homeward  journey.  I 
must  and  will  think  you  set  off  too  soon,  and  as  a  prophet 
after  the  fact,  you  had  plenty  of  mild  fine  weather  before 
you,  for  it  only  snowed  here  for  the  first  time  yesterday, 
Cliristmas  Day  !  I  am  heartily  glad  to  hear  of  so  much 
decided  improvement,  but  it  will  be  a  weak  point  always 
and  require  great  care  ;  —  even  at  the  expense  of  hav- 
ing a  fell  of  hair  like  a  Gennan. 

If  he  cannot  get  it  cut  at  home,  he  deserves  to  have 
his  head  shaved  for  tliat  last  expedition.     What  would 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  211 

Dr.  S say,  only  I  can't  tell  liira.     I  hope  you,  3Irs. 

Dilke,  preached  a  good  sermon  on  it,  and  you  will  do 
well  to  read  him  daily  a  morning  lesson  out  of  the  Bible, 
showing  how  Samson  lost  all  his  strength  by  going  and 
having  his  hair  cut.  What  an  epitaph  must  I  have  writ- 
ten, if  he  had  died  through  that  little  outbreak  of  personal 
vanity :  — 

"  Here  lies  Dilke,  the  victim  to  a  whim, 
Who  went  to  have  his  hair  cut,  but  the  air  cut  him." 

I  certainly  do  not  agree  any  more  than  Dr.  Johnson  as 
to  his  being  a  C^s^ercian  ;  from  the  great  tenderness,  the 
evil  did  not  seem  to  me  to  be  so  deeply  seated  as  Dr.  B. 
supposed,  but  nearer  the  surface ;  I  have  now  great  hope 
of  him  —  barring  barbers  —  and  especially  that  leaving 
Somerset  House;  the  change  will  perhaps  add  to  his 
years,  and  let  him  live  a  double  nutnber,  provided  always 
he  don't  come  up  the  Rhine  again.  I  am  always  happy 
to  see  friends  —  but  really  I  do  wish  you  had  not  come, 
for  now  we  have  nothing  so  agreeable  to  look  forward  to, 
and  not  much  at  present  to  look  back  upon !  I  wonder 
if  the  visit  will  ever  be  returned  —  shall  I  ever  go  down 
the  Rhine  and  drop  in  at  Lower  Grosvenor  Place  ? 

I  live  in  hope  of  the  first  part  at  least ;  I  try  to  fill  up 
my  own  cavities  instead  of  the  sexton's  by  every  care  I 
can  take  ;  for  instance,  I  am  sailing  on  Temperance  prin- 
ciples. I  drank  your  health,  and  the  compliments  of  the 
season  to  you  yesterday,  in  a  glass  of  Jane's  ginger  wine  ; 
and  at  night,  being  Christmas,  indulged  in  a  glass  of  — 
lemonade !  As  for  you,  Maria,  having  lost  your  sides, 
you  must  expect  to  be  always  middling,  but  no  more 


212  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

spasms !  So  huzza  for  us  all  —  who  knows  but  our 
united  ages  may  become  worthy  of  a  newspaper  para- 
graph, some  forty  years  hence. 

I  am  glad  you  relish  the  "  Comic "  so  well :  indeed,  I 
always  try  that  it  shall  not  fall  off,  whatever  its  sale  may 
(]o  —  that  the  fault  may  be  the  public's,  not  the  private's. 
But  it  seems  doomed  never  to  be  early  —  thanks  to  that 
slug-a-bed,  Katchen,  and  her  German  phlegm,  it  was 
some  three  weeks  after  it  should  have  been  out. 

In  the  meantime,  I  Avill  give  you  some  particulars  of 
my  excursion.  You  have  heard  how  well  I  got  through 
my  first  day's  ride  —  it  was  a  fine  morning,  and  Vi'e 
crossed  part  of  that  flat  which  surrounds  Leipzic  —  what 
an  immense  flat  it  is  !  An  ocean  of  sand  literally  stretch- 
ing beyond  the  reach  of  the  eye.  It  seems  to  have  been 
intended  for  the  grand  armies  of  Europe  to  decide  their 
differences  on.  That  is  to  say,  if  Natux-e  or  Providence 
ever  intended  to  form  convenient  plains  for  wholesale 
butcheries,  of  which  I  have  some  doubt. 

However,  it  is  classic  ground  to  the  soldier,  as  several 
great  battles  have  taken  place  in  the  neighbourhood. 
The  next  morning,  I  packed  up  and  started  at  four,  and 
after  rather  a  longer  spell  got  to  Brenha,  where  I  found 
my  quarters  at  a  sort  of  country  inn  and  butcher's  shop 
rolled  into  one.  I  only  breakfasted  at  Brenha  —  spend- 
ing the  rest  of  my  time  at  a  chateau  of  Baron  B 's, 

with  De  Franck  and  the  Captain — the  old  Major-domo, 
the  image  of  a  Scotchman,  doing  the  honours,  lie  sent 
down  to  invite  me,  and  thenceforward  I  boarded  at  the 
chateau,  and  only  slept  and  breakfasted  at  the  inn.  I 
had  the  prettiest  girl  in  the  place  for  my  waitress  —  and 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  213 

told  her  I  was  a  prisoner  of  state  on  parole  with  the  reg- 
iment, which  interested  her  in  my  favour,  I  suppose : 
anyhow  it  brought  up  the  mother  —  dram  bottle  in  hand 
—  who  sat  herself  down,  tete-a-tete  at  the  table,  and 
seemed  determined  to  hear  all  the  rights  of  it :  but  I 
grew  very  English,  and  her  curiosity  could  get  nothing 
out  of  me.  At  the  chateau  we  lived  hke  fighting-cocks, 
and  drank  a  very  good  wine,  made  on  the  estate,  as  good 
as  much  of  the  Rhenish. 

We  had  a  sort  of  under-steward  for  our  host,  and  for 
our  waiting-maid,  an  ugly,  grisly  female,  with  the  addition 
of  an  outlandish  head-dress,  and  a  huge  frill  —  stiff,  and 
fastened  behind  to  her  cap,  so  that  she  was  in  a  sort  of 
pillory.  The  pretty  girl  at  the  inn  did  not  get  half  so 
much  of  my  attention.  The  fare  —  poultry,  jack,  carp, 
beetroot,  neat's  tongue.  I  saw  in  the  farm-yard  some 
very  fair  pigs  —  one  with  a  stiff  neck  —  his  head  reg- 
ularly fixed  on  one  side  ;  some  excellent  Polish  fowls  ;  and 
in  a  long  stable  a  range  of  fine-ish  cows,  with  a  long 
solid  bench  before  them,  where  each  had  a  circular  hollow 
scooped  for  it  like  a  bason.  I  have  seen  tables  for 
human  beasts,  in  Berkshire,  with  the  dishes  and  platters, 
scooped  out  in  like  fashion  —  not  a  bad  plan  for  sea-faring 
furniture  —  not  over  cleanly,  perhaps,  but  fast  and  not 
breakable.  There  was  also  a  garden  and  a  fish-pond 
in  it. 

The  next  day  being  a  rest,  we  spent  at  the  same  place, 
and  we  went  trolling,  the  steward  giving  us  leave,  in  a 
mill-stream,  where  we  only  caught  one  little  jack  before 
dinner,  who  had  tried  to  swallow  the  bait,  a  carp  as 
broad  as  himself.     We  brought  both  into  the  house,  as 


214  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

tliey  vs-ere,  by  the  way  of  a  curiosity,  but  leaving  tackle 
and  all  in  the  passage,  during  dinner,  we  hooked  the 
favoui'ite  cat  to  boot,  who  had  taken  the  bait  too.  Our 
bad  sport  in  the  morning  procured  us  leave  for  the  after- 
noon, in  the  garden  pond,  a  sort  of  preserve,  where  we 
immediately  hooked  a  good  large  jack.  As  soon  as  the 
line  went  off  under  the  weeds,  I  pulled  out  my  watch  to 
give  the  fish  eight  or  ten  minutes  to  pouch  the  bait,  while 
De  Franck  stood  still  as  a  statue  with  the  rod  ;  the  cap- 
tain up  at  his  window  wondering  what  solemn  operation 
was  going  on.  At  last  we  got  him,  a  good  jack ;  then  a 
second,  a  third,  and  a  fourth,  the  face  of  the  steward 
lengthening  to  each  catch,  in  the  most  laughable  manner. 
He  evidently  thouglit  we  should  "  distress  the  water,"  as 
it  is  teclinically  termed.  Jack  are  much  esteemed,  you 
must  know,  in  inland  Germany,  and  the  old  man  was 
quite  glad  when  we  packed  up  our  tackle.  He  was 
comforted  at  last  to  find  three  were  so  little  hurt,  that  they 
miglit  be  thrown  in  again.  But  he  told  us,  half  in  joke, 
half  in  earnest,  when  we  came  again  he  should  set  a 
watch  over  all  his  ponds. 

Tliree  years  since  there  were  four  thousand  trees 
blown  down  on  the  estate  by  a  storm,  they  stopped  all 
the  roads  in  the  neighbourhood,  which  took  fourteen  days 
in  clearing ;  and  some  of  the  trees  are  not  yet  removed. 

They  mu^t  have  had  some  such  treats  in  Germany 
elsewhere,  I  guess,  during  the  late  hurricanes.  At  the 
inn  I  had  one  dinner,  one  supper,  bed  twice,  and  two 
breakfasts,  for  ten  groschen,  or  one  shiUing.  But  these 
Ijye-places  are  poor,  and  a  little  money  goes  a  great  way. 
Here  I  not  only  found  soap  for  the  first  time    in  Ger- 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  215 

many,  but  a  place  in  the  hason  expressly  for  holding  it. 
The  Saxons  seemed  generally  good  sort  of  people.  Our 
next  march  took  us  across  the  Elbe  to  Wittenberg,     A 

Lieutenant  J ,  an  old  crony  of   De  Franck  's,  met 

us  on  the  bridge,  and  insisted  on  our  dining  with  him,  so 

we  got  leave,  dined  at  the  Casino,  and  J showed  me 

the  lions  of  the  place. 

As  to  Luther's  statue,  I  could  not  help  thinking  of 
Friar  John,  in  Kabelais,  as  a  brother  of  the  same  order. 
Thinks  I  to  myself,  so  I  am  to  thank  that  fellow  up  there 
for  being  a  Protestant.  I  had  remarked  at  Wittenberg 
the  peculiar  tall  glasses,  a  full  foot  high,  with  a  glass 
cover  (no  stems),  and  afterwards  at  Berlin  I  saw  Luther's 
drinking  cup,  or  vessel,  made  after  the  same  jolly  fashion. 

J showed  me  his  residence,  now  a  College,  where 

he  said  a  good  deal  of  mysticism  prevails.     J drove 

with  us,  in  a  hired  carriage,  to  our  quarters,  about  an 
hour's  ride  through  deep  sand  to  Pruhlitz,  a  very  tiny 
village.  We  passed,  by  the  way,  a  well  miraculously 
discovered  by  Luther  when  he  was  dry,  by  a  scratch  of 
his  staff'  in  the  sand  —  he  looked  more  like  the  tapper  of 
ale  barrels.  In  our  quarters  I  had  for  a  wonder,  a  four- 
post  bed  with  the  old  feather  beds  below  and  above,  and 
as  the  bed  was  made  at  an  angle  of  thirty-five  degrees,  I 
slept  little  more  than  I  should  have  done  on  a  "  Russian 
mountain,"  always  sliding  down  and  getting  up  again. 
Hereabouts  this  slant  was  quite  the  fashion.  Partridges 
are  so  plentiful  about  Leipsic  and  Wittenberg,  as  to  be 
three  groschen  the  brace.  Next  morning  we  got  to  the 
Mark  of  Brandenburg.  We  went  over  sands,  and  such 
desolate,  bleak,  bare  heaths,  I  expected  on  every  ascent 


216  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

to  come  in  sight  of  some  forlorn  sea-coast  (we  took  often 
sbort  cuts  across  country,  rendezvousing  in  tlie  high 
roads).  Our  march  lasted  eight  and  a  half  hours,  hav- 
ing a  grand  parade  (as  rehearsal)  on  the  way,  and  wei'e 
quartered  at  last  at  Nichel,  near  Treuenbritzen,  so  call- 
ed as  the  only  place  that  stood  true  to  Frederic  the 
Great. 

When  we  arrived  here,  the  whole  population  had 
turned  out  to  see  us,  as  military  do  not  often  appear  in 
such  parts.  The  females  look  very  picturesque  —  for 
the  single  wear  black  head-dresses,  the  married  ones, 
quite  a  game  of  rouge  et  noir.  I  don't  think  Cook 
could  have  been  more  wondered  at  by  the  Sandwichers, 
than  I  was  by  the  Nichelites.  A  party  waited  in  front 
of  the  house,  and  pointed  me  out  whenever  I  came  to  the 
window,  and  stared  with  only  the  glass  between  us,  as 
heartily  as  if  they  had  really  been  sheep  and  not  merely 
skins.  The  Captain  of  the  11th  company  (mine  was  the 
10th)  called  politely  to  see  how  I  was  lodged.  *  *  * 
I  was  much  amused  in  the  evening  to  see  the  gaunt  hogs 
trotting  home  of  their  own  accord,  from  I  know  not 
where  —  each  going  into  his  own  quarters  as  regularly 
as  we  did  —  and  the  geese  the  same,  though  some  next 
door  houses  were  infinitely  to  appearance  more  selectable 
than  their  neighbours. 

I  saw  a  goose  wait  for  a  long  while  at  a  house,  where 
no  door  happened  to  be  open,  till  at  last  she  was  admit- 
ted. I  will  give  you  a  recipe  for  our  dinner.  First  make 
some  I'ice-milk  rather  watery,  and  stew  in  a  few  raisins. 
Then  cut  a  fowl  in  pieces,  six  perhaps,  and  make  a  broth 
with  it.     Pour  the  first  dish  and  the  second  together,  and 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  217 

the  mess  is  made.  We  had  two  beds  for  three ;  so  De 
Franck  slept  on  the  straw.  Next  morning  we  got  to 
Belitz ;  from  here  we  rode  across  to  Schlunkendorf, 
quartered  with  De  Franck  and  another  at  a  miller's. 
Millers',  by  the  way,  are  the  best  quarters  everywhere, 
though  we  got  but  two  beds,  and  so  De  Franck  was  lit- 
tered down.  I  went  out  after  dinner,  and  could  see  noth- 
ing but  a  sandy  waste  with  a  windmill.  In  my  yellow 
boots  and  figured  robe  (Mrs.  D.'s  present),  I  was  not  at 
all  out  of  costume,  for  such  an  Arabian-like  scene.  Next 
day  being  a  rest,  I  took  advantage  of  it  to  push  on  to 
Potsdam  to  see  all  I  could.  Here  ended  my  actual 
marching  with  the  regiment,  for  the  next  morning  the 
Kins:  came  to  Potsdam  to  review  it.  He  was  much 
pleased  ;  but  as  an  instance  of  his  love  for  military 
minutiae,  and  correct  ear,  when  they  were  giving  him 
cheers,  the  huzzas  and  the  drums  did  not  time  exactly 
together,  and  he  exclaimed  "  What  beating  is  that  ?  " 

Everything  about  Potsdam  smacks  of  the  Great  little 
Frederic,  but  nothing  is  more  striking  than  the  supera- 
bundance of  statues.  They  swarm  !  —  there  is  a  whole 
garrison  turned  into  marble  or  stone,  good,  bad,  and  in- 
different. They  are  as  numerous  in  the  garden  as  the 
promenaders;  there  is  a  Neptune  group,  for  example, 
without  even  the  apology  of  a  pond.  The  same  at  Sans 
Souci  —  in  fact,  everywhere.  The  effect,  to  my  taste,  is 
execrable,  or  ridiculous.  Solitude  and  stillness  seem  the 
proper  attributes  of  a  statue.  We  have  no  notion  of 
marbles  mobbing.  I  saw,  of  course,  all  the  apartments 
and  relics  of  Frederic.  The  chairs  torn  by  his  dogs,  his 
writing-table,  &c.     The  Watteaus  on  the  walls,  contain- 

VOL.   I.  10 


218  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

ing  the  recurring  helle  Barberini,  pleased  me  much ;  he 
seems  to  give  a  nature  to  courtliness,  and  a  courtliness  to 
nature,  that  make  palace-gardens  more  like  fairy-land, 
and  their  inhabitants  more  like  Loves  and  Graces  than 
I  fear  they  be  in  reality.  I  was  much  interested  by  a 
portrait  of  Napoleon  when  consul  (said  to  be  very  like), 
over  a  door  in  the  palace.  It  had  a  look  of  melancholy 
as  well  as  thought,  with  an  expression  that  seemed  to 
draw  the  heart  towards  him.  There  must  have  been 
something  likeable  about  him,  to  judge  by  the  attachment 
and  devotion  of  some  of  his  adherents ;  but  I  could  not 
help  believing  before  the  picture,  that  Avhen  younger,  he 
had  been  of  a  kinder  and  more  benevolent  disposition 
than  is  generally  supposed. 

One  of  the  other  curiosities  was  the  present  king's  bed 
—  a  mere  crib.  I  visited  the  Peacock  Island,  of  which 
I  thought  little ;  and  two  of  the  country-seats,  the  Crown 
Prince's  and  Prince  Charles's.  The  first  in  the  style  of 
an  Italian  villa,  with  frescoes,  in  the  medallions  of  which 
are  introduced  portraits  of  personal  friends,  &c. ;  but  the 
German  physiognomy  does  not  match  well  with  the  Ital- 
ianesque.  The  public  are  admitted  into  the  gardens  — 
even  when  the  Prince  is  enjoying  himself  in  them  with 
his  parties:  this  is  very,  almost  ultra,  liberal;  but  it 
seems  to  me  a  German  taste  to  enjoy  nothing  without 
this  publicity.  At  Pi'ince  Charles's  (he  is  attached  to  the 
sea,  and  wished  to  be  a  sailor)  I  saw  some  annuals  on  his 
table,  and  an  English  caricature  ;  also  English  prints  and 
pictures  hung  in  the  rooms.  He  is  partial  to  us,  and  I  en- 
tered my  name  in  a  book  he  keeps  to  know  of  his  visitors. 
I  saw  some  fine  pictures  in  the  gallery  —  Titians;  a  most 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  219 

miraculous  living  hand  of  flesh  and  blood,  as  it  seemed 
to  me  to  be,  in  one  of  tliem. 

I  entertained  some  of  the  officers  here  to  luncheon  ; 
they  dined  by  invitation  with  the  Guards,  who  gave 
them  a  dinner,  first  for  the  king,  and  secondly  for  them- 
selves. I  saw  here  the  Russian  colony,  living  in  cot- 
tages a  la  Suisse.  I  saw,  pf  course,  the  famous  mill  that 
beat  Frederic  in  a  battle,  like  Don  Quixote ;  and  I  sat 
down  at  Frederic's  table  where  he  worked,  with  a  statue 
of  Justice  in  sight  through  a  window  at  the  opposite  end 
of  the  room  —  "a  conceit !  a  miserable  conceit !  "  —  that 
he  might  always  keep  justice  in  view.  An  acted  pun  ! 
As  his  favourite  dogs  were  all  buried  with  a  tombstone 
apiece,  very  near  Justice's  feet,  there  ought  to  have  been 
some  meaning  there,  too  ;  but  I  could  not  find  or  invent 
it,  unless  that  Justice  had  more  td  do  with  dead  docs 
than  with  living  ones. 

The  garrison  chin-ch,  externally,  looks  like  an  arsenal, 
't  is  so  be-stuck  Avith  helmets,  flags,  and  military  trophies, 
carved  in  stone  ;  but  in  the  interior  it  is  worth  one's 
while  to  go  into  a  dark  narrow  tomb,  just  under  the  or- 
gan, only  to  reflect  on  the  strange  chances  of  finding 
Frederic  and  his  father  so  neai',  and  yet  so  peaceable,  as 
they  lie  side  by  side  —  not  "  lovely  and  pleasant  in  their 
lives,  but  in  their  deaths  not  divided." 


And  now,  my  dear   D.,   with  kind  regards  to  Mrs. 
Dilke, 

Believe  me  ever 

Your  faithful  friend, 

Thomas  Hood. 


220  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

On  returning  from  Berlin,  my  father  settled  down  to 
complete,  as  far  as  possible,  the  matter  and  drawings  for 
his  German  book.  In  one  of  my  mother's  letters  to 
England,  she  says,  "  You  will  be  glad  to  hear  Hood  in- 
tends seriously  to  study  German  during  the  winter,  and 
I  don't  mean  to  let  his  purpose  cool.  He  talks  of  seeing 
more  of  Germany  in  the  spring."  (Here  my  father 
seems  to  have  been  at  his  old  tricks  again  of  embel- 
lishing my  mother's  letters,  for  there  follows  in  his 
own  handwriting).  "  At  present  Germany  has  seen 
him.  As  at  Berlin  there  was  London  porter,  reasonable 
Cheshire  cheese,  to  say  nothing  of  caviare,  smoked  goose 
breasts,  and  other  relishes  ;  he  says  he  regularly  '  filled 
his  cavities.'  After  the  discipline  his  stomach  underwent 
in  such  villages  as  Schlunkendorf  and  Nichel  it  is  so 
much  improved  in  its  tone,  that  I  have  very  little  of  my 
old  trouble,  and  it  was  a  trouble,  in  suiting  it.  He  swears 
that  he  eats  '  wurst'  even  with  a  relish.  I  wish  he  had 
marched  a  year  ago,  and  almost  regret  with  Mr.  Dilke 
that  he  is  not  in  the  army.  I  mean  to  make  him  a 
present  of  a  walking-stick  on  New-Yeai''s  day,  and  to 
make  him  trot  out  on  errands." 

The  German  book  "  Up  the  Rhine,"  progressed  favour- 
ably, the  "  Comic  Annual"  coming  out  as  usual.  I  can 
just  recollect  the  actual  finish  of  the  latter.  My  father 
always  wrote  most  by  night,  when  all  was  quiet  and  the 
bustle  of  the  day  and  the  noise  of  us  children  stilled  in 
sleep.  This  year  I  recollect  being  waked  by  hearing  my 
father  and  mother  in  the  next  room,  packing  the  little 
box  of  drawings  and  MSS.  to  send  off  by  steamer  to  Eng- 
land.    When  they  found  I  was  awake  my  mother  came 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


221 


in  and  rolled  me  up  in  a  huge  shawl,  installing  me  in  an 
arm  chair ;  we  then  finished  up  with  a  merry  supper 
(though  it  must  have  been  nearer  morning  than  night) 
mj  father,  relieved  from  the  anxiety  and  worry  of  his 
work,  brightening  up  through  all  his  fatigue,  and  joking 
and  laughing  quite  cheerfully.  Each  following  year  did 
these  finishing  suppers  take  place,  to  celebrate  the  com- 
pletion of  the  "  Comic  Annual." 


J)/'<^y  /5ird. 


C''>^'^j^ 


Jo^y^  ^l^CO^ 


222       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


CHAPTER    IV. 

1837. 

At  Coblenz.  — Letters  to  Mr.  Wright,  Lieut,  de  Franck,  and  Dr. 
Elliot.  — Leaves  Coblenz.  —  Settles  at  Ostend.  —  Letters  to  Mr. 
Wright,  Dr.  Elliot,  and  Mr.  Dilke. 

IN  the  beginning  of  1837  my  father  finally  made  up 
his  mind  to  leave  Coblenz.  Among  other  reasons, 
the  difficulty  of  sending  backwards  and  forwards  was 
really  serious.  "A  month  to  come,  and  a  month  to  go," 
as  he  writes  to  Mr.  Wright,  "  makes  a  serious  difference 
in  time  to  me,  and  throws  out  all  my  plans."  In 
these  days  of  easy  railway  locomotion,  when  there  is  a 
line  almost  over  even  those  primitive  wilds  he  travelled 
through  on  his  march,  this  time  seems  fabulous.  It  is 
curious  to  think  how  all  these  increased  facilities  for  trav- 
elling must  have  civilised  those  remote  places,  —  such  as 
Schlunkendorf  and  Nicliel,  —  and  transformed,  I  will  not 
say  improved,  the  Schultz  and  his  fellow-villagers  of  the 
sheepskin  robes  into  very  ordinary  German  peasants, 
with  fewer  outlandish  characteristics,  and  with  possibly 
less  honesty. 

752,  Altkn  Guahkn,  Coblenz,  13(/»  January,  1837. 

My  dear  Wrioiit, 
I  have  no  doubt  but  the  Count  you  are  doing  some 


MEMORIALS   OF    THOMAS   HOOD.  223 

cuts  for,  is  the  same  that  Prince  Radziwill  mentioned  to 
me,  as  engaged  on  a  work  on  modern  German  art.  The 
Prince  alluded  to  the  excellence  of  our  tvood-cutting.* 
You  would  do  well  to  send  the  Count  some  of  your  best 
specimens ;  I  saw  some  wretched  German  woodcuts  in 
the  Berlin  exhibition.  I  think  the  name  I  recollect  was 
something  like  Raczjnski.  I  should  not  be  surprised  if 
seeing  the  Comic  had  suggested  you  to  him  as  good 
wood-engravers.  The  Germans  cannot  cut ;  and  if  they 
could  make  fine  cuts,  couldn't  print  them. .  And  yet 
Albert  Diirer,  a  German,  was  the  founder  of  the  art.  I 
am  hard  at  work  at  my  German  book.  You  will  soon 
have  a  box.  Some  of  the  subjects  are  larger  than  usual, 
and  must  be  printed  the  long  way  of  the  page.  Have 
the  goodness  to  make  a  polite  message  to  Messrs.  Saun- 
ders and  Otley  for  me,  saying,  that  till  I  return  to  Eng- 
land I  cannot  well  undei-take  any  such  arrangement  as 
they  propose;  but  that  when  I  come  back  I  shall  be 
open  to  offers  of  the  kind.  Indeed,  for  the  next  six 
months  my  hands  are  full. 

I  have  no  time  to  write  more,  except  to  present  all 
good  wishes  and  seasonable  compliments  to  yourself  and 
JMrs.  W.     Pray  remember  me  kindly  to  all  friends,  not 

*  Those  who  remember  the  rudeness  of  the  Comic  cuts,  or  even 
of  "  Up  the  Rliiiie,"  will  smile  at  this.  I  dou't  suppose  Jlessrs.  Linton 
or  Dalziel  would  allow  their  apprentices  to  txuii  out  such  blocks.  The 
art  appears  to  have  been  bound  in  German  swaddling-clothes  from 
Diirer's  time  until  Bewick  released  it,  since  when  it  has  made  strides 
worthy  of  an  ogre  in  seven-league  boots.  I  take  this  opportunity  of 
publicly  expressing  the  thanks  of  my  sister  and  self  to  the  engraver, 
who  has  cut  the  illustrations  for  this  work  with  such  great  spirit  and 
fidelity.  —  T.  H. 


224       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

forgetting  poor  Ned   Smith.     Did  I  name  a  book  for 
Harvey  ?     But  I  trust  to  you,  who  know  my  wishes,  to 
rectify  all  casual  mistakes  and  omissions. 
I  am,  my  dear  Wright, 

Yours  ever  truly, 

TnoMAs  Hood. 

I  shall  write  a  chapter  on  German  Draughts  (of  Air), 
and  their  invention  of  cold-traps.  I  have  a  stiff  neck, 
that  goes  all  down  my  back,  and  then  comes  up  the  other 
side,  thanks  to  their  well-staircases  and  drying  lofts  in  the 
attics. 

752,  Alten  Geaben,  Coblenz,  April  23rrf,  1837. 
My  dear  Johnny, 

Are  n't  you  glad  to  hear  now  that  I  've  only  been  ill 
and  spitting  blood  three  times  since  I  left  you,  instead  of 
being  very  dead  indeed,  as  you  must  have  thought  from 
my  very  long  silence.  I  began  a  letter,  indeed,  a  long 
while  ago ;  but,  on  hearing  of  the  setting  off  of  the  box, 
I  waited  for  its  arrival,  and  a  precious  wait  it  was.  Only 
a  month  and  three  days,  and  my  box  was  still  longer  in 
going  to  London.  Hurrah  for  German  commerce !  It 
must  thrive  famously  with  such  a  quick  transit !  One 
might  almost  as  well  be  in  America. 

I  had  a  sharp  brush  with  the  Customs'  officers  after  all, 
for  they  wanted  to  unpack  it  at  the  office,  which  I  would 
not  stand.  I  think  I  scared  Deubel,  I  was  in  such  a  rage  ; 
but  I  gained  my  point.  You  know  last  year  they  offered 
to  send  an  officer  to  the  house,  and  even  declined  to  see 
it  at  all ;  so  I  told  them.    There  was  a  full  declaration  of 


MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  225 

every  article,  and  I  was  charged  for  "plumbing"  by  which 
I  understand  the  putting  of  leaden  seals  on,  but  there  was 
no  trace  of  anything  of  the  kind.  To  make  it  worse,  I 
have  since  ascertained  that  the  scoundrels  had  already 
opened  it  at  Emmerich.  This  has  been  such  a  sickener 
to  me  that  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to  leave  this  place, 
with  no  very  pleasant  recollectioits  of  its  courtesy  towards 
strangers. 

However,  I  shall  have  my  revenge :  the  materials  of 
my  book  are  in  London,  and  so  let  the  Rhinelanders  look 
out  for  squalls.  I  hope  you  will  like  the  tackle  ;  it  all 
came  safe ;  and  Wright  assures  me  it  is  the  very  best 
made,  and  at  the  wholesale  price.  I  send  the  Prince's 
and  Wildenbruch's  at  the  same  time.  The  bad  weather 
for  fishing  hitherto  will  make  the  delay  of  less  conse- 
quence. Did  you  ever  know  such  hot  and  cold,  such 
snow  and  rain  ?  It  has  been  killing  work ;  we  were  all 
well  "  gripped ; "  and  a  nasty  insidious  disease  it  is,  leav- 
ing always  its  marks  behind  it.  I  have  got  all  my  books 
(save  one,  which  is  out  of  print)  for  the  Prince,  in  the 
newest  fashion  of  binding. 

Tim,  says  he,  I  laughed  heartily  at  your  description  of 
the  fishing  at  Bromberg,  for  you  seemed  in  a  whimsical 
dilemma  enough ;  and  so,  after  wishing  with  all  your 
heart,  soul,  and  strength  to  be  within  reach  of  salmon, 
you  were  frightened  at  them  when  you  had  them  at 
hand! 

I  should  be  rather  nervous  for  my  tackle  myself.     It 

would  have  been  no  use  writing  to  R ,  who  knows 

no  more  about  it  than  I  do :  nor  have  I  any  practical 
salmon-fisher   of   my   acquaintance  —  they   are    chiefly 

10*  o 


226  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

Scotch  and  Irish.  But  I  am  pretty  certain  of  this  point, 
that  there  is  nothing  pecuhar  in  it  from  other  fly-fishing, 
but  that  all  use  stronger  tackle,  larger  bright  flies,  big  as 
butterflies,  and  that  you  must  play  with  the  fish  a  won- 
derful deal  more,  —  say  half  or  three  quarters  of  an 
hour,  —  to  wear  them  out.  There  is  a  famous  M-inch 
and  line  coming  with  this.  If  I  were  you,  I  would  get 
up  some  sort  of  a  German  rod  extempore,  put  this  winch 
on  it,  and  make  the  experiment  before  risking  your  good 
rod.  For  myself,  Johnny,  I  must  give  up  all  hope  of 
ever  wetting  a  line  at  Bromberg ;  not  only  are  my 
marching  days  over,  but  I  fear  I  shall  never  be  able  to 
travel  again.  I  am  now  sure  that  this  climate,  so  warm 
in  summer  and  so  cold  in  winter,  does  not  suit  my  Eng- 
lish blood.  Inflammatory  disorders  are  the  besetting 
sin  of  the  place.     AVitness  poor  Dilke.     And  at  my  last 

attack  Dr. told  me  he  saw  the  same  thing  every  day. 

The  man  who  bled  me,  and  there  are  several  bleeders 
here,  told  me  he  had  attended  eighty  that  month.  JMore- 
over,  I  had  been  not  merely  moderate,  but  abstemious ; 
at  one  time  only  drank  Jane's  ginger-wine,  and  at  my  last 
attack  was  actually  only  taking  two  glasses  of  wine  a 
day.  "We  even  get  good  English  porter  now  at  the 
Treves  Hotel,  and  I  dare  not  touch  it! 

This  low  diet  does  not  at  all  suit  me.  When  I  was  a 
boy  I  was  so  knocked  about  by  illness  (and  in  particular 
by  a  scarlet  fever  so  violently  that  it  ended  in  a  dropsy) 
that  as  I  grew  up  I  only  got  over  it  by  living  rather 
well.  Besides,  as  all  doctors  know,  studious  pursuits 
exhaust  the  body  extremely,  and  require  stimulus  at 
times,  so  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to  decamp.    My  pres- 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  227 

ent  idea  is  pei-  Cologne  and  Aix  to  Ostend  or  Antwerp, 
when  I  shall  be  able  to  get  over  to  England  in  a  few 
hours  at  any  time,  if  necessary ;  and  should  I  get  strength 
to  travel,  I  can  see  sonoething  of  Belgium  and  France. 
I  rather  incline  to  Ostend  on  account  of  the  sea  air,  which 
always  does  me  great  good.  I  shall  regret  the  children 
not  completing  their  German  here ;  but  the  difficulty  of 
intercourse  (which  neutralizes  all  my  efforts  to  be  early 
with  my  books)  and  the  climate  forbid  it ;  and,  in  addi- 
tion, I  have  quite  a  disgust  to  Coblenz,  or  rather  its 
inhabitants.       I    have    begun    German    myself,  through 

L ,  but  that  must  be  at  an  end.     I  find  him  as  a 

German  Jew  better  than  the  Jew  Germans  of  the 
place.  I  have  not  seen  the  General,  "cos  why?"  I 
have  only  crossed  the  door  three  times,  perhaps  six,  since 
I  came  from  Berlin.  But  I  shall  call  some  day  be- 
fore I  go.  When  my  plan  is  once  arranged  I  shall  go  at 
once.  Towards  the  end  of  this  month,  I  suppose,  I  shall 
trouble  the  chub  again  for  the  last  time.  I  have  some 
famous  lai'ge  chub  flies  by  the  box  —  some  like  small 
cockchafers.  I  am  not  sure  whether  my  chest  will  stand 
the  casting.  It  is  miserable  work,  Tim,  to  be  such  a 
shattered  old  fellow  as  I  am ;  when  you,  who  are  in 
years  my  senior,  are  gallivanting  about  like  a  boy  of  nine- 
teen !  The  artist  who  is  coming  out  to  take  my  portrait 
will  have  a  nice  elderly,  grizzled  head  to  exhibit !  What ! 
that  pale,  thin,  long  face  the  Comic  !  Zounds  !  I  must 
gammon  him,  and  get  some  friend  to  sit  for  me.  Apropos, 
I  sent  up  two  months  ago  a  box  full  of  sketches  of  my 
Rhine  book ;  and  I  had  managed  such  a  portrait  of 
D in  a  Rhenish  spare  bed  !     I  have  drawn,  too,  the 


228  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

captain,  who  gave  me  leave  to  make  use  of  his  jolly  red 
nose,  Mr.  Schultz,  Mrs.  Schiiltz,  and  all,  not  forgetting 
the  maid  in  the  pillory-rufF  at  Burg-Kremnitz.  D'  ye 
know,  Johnny,  I  half  suspect  the  Rhinelanders  opened  my 
box  going  down,  and  were  not  best  pleased  at  my  sketches 
of  some  of  the  dirty  dandies  hereabouts,  which  perhaps 
makes  'em  so  uncivil.  Should  all  happen  that  I  have 
wished  to  the  Coblenzers  in  general,  and  the  Douane  in 
particular,  during  the  last  ten  days,  they  will  be  far  from 
comfortable.  Only  imagine  that  I  blessed  everything  for 
them  down  to  their  pipes.  They  have  the  worst  of  the 
French  character  without  the  best  of  the  German.  I 
have  no  news  to  tell  you  about  them;  how  should  we 
])ick  up  any,  for  we  are  not  on  speaking  terms  with  any 
one  in  the  place,  save  the  two  teachers.  Nor  have  I 
been  to  the  Military  Casino,  so  that  I  cannot  answer 
your  inquiry  how  the  young  ladies  take  the  loss  of 
the  19  th. 

I  have  just  asked  L if  there  is  any  local  news. 

He  knows  nothing  except  that  this  last  winter  there  have 
been  more  balls  and  parties  than  usual,  so  that  the  ladies 
have  not  kept  their  faith  to  the  19th. 

As  to  the  breaking  off  the  vei-lohbing  with  Von  B. 
we  have  not  heard  one  word  about  it.  How  should  we  ? 
Perhaps  it  is  not  true,  but  has  only  been  reported  to  quiz 
you,  and  make  you  fancy  you  have  a  chance  again.  But 
T  will  drop  that  subject,  or  I  shall  make  you  as  savage  as 
you  were  one  night  with  me  and  Wildcgans,  and  even 
with  yourself,  till  I  expected  you  would  call  yourself  out. 
Oh,  Tim,  she  enjoyed  hitting  you  over  the  heart,  like  the 
man  who  liad  a  donkey,  with  "a  bit  of  raw." 


MEMOEIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  229 

She  is  learning  English,  of  course  for  your  sake  says 
you  —  but  I  forget !     I  see  you  in  fancy  twisting  your 

moustaches  and  pouting.     Mrs.  N ,  through  L 's 

means,  is  reading  some  of  my  Comics. 

I  guess  they  Avill  puzzle  her  pretty  considerably.    Also 

]\Irs.  A has  had  them.     She  and  Captain  A 

have  been  living  at  the  Weisser  Ross  for  months,  and  he 
is  a  member  of  my  club ;  but  we  have  not  met,  and  they 
are  now  going.  I  am  not  sorry  to  have  missed  them,  for 
I  saw  them  pass,  and  they  not  only  look  queer  people, 
but  awfully  Scotch  !  Besides,  we  have  had  our  share  of 
luck  in  picking  up  friends  on  that  side  the  water. 

Since  writing  the  foregoing,  Tim,  I  am  a  little  better ; 
but  was  n't  I  in  luck,  after  spitting  blood  and  being  bled, 
to  catch  the  rheumatism  in  going  down-stairs.  I  ordered 
leeches  on  my  foot,  and  the  Avounds  bled  all  night,  so  I 
was  uncommonly  low,  as  you  may  imagine.  I  suppose  7. 
shall  get  out  some  day.  This  morning  I  was  going  to 
have  a  ride  for  the  first  time,  but  it  clouded  over,  and  I 
gave  it  up.  What  a  precious  season  we  have  had  — 
eight  months'  winter.  But  now  the  ice  will  be  broken 
up,  and  you  will  be  blessing  me  for  not  sending  your 
tackle.  It  has  had  to  wait  here  almost  a  week  for  a, 
frach-wagen,  which  only  goes  on  Sundays.  I  had  little 
or  no  news  from  London  by  the  package,  but  I  have 
heard  that  poor  Dilke  is  in  a  very  precarious  state:  he 
does  n't  rally  well,  and  the  least  illness  flies  to  the  old 
place.     The  last  account,  though,  was  a  little  better. 

What  do  you  think,  Tim,  of  a  black  man,  who  by 
dancing  and  singing  one  little  song  called  "  Jim  Crow," 
has  cleared,  in  London  and  America,  30,000/. !     There  's 


230  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

one  string  to  your  bow  for  you  !  I  never  henrd  of  the 
history  of  the  bit  of  StiUon  that  went  on  to  Bromberg. 
The  Cheshire  we  send  makes  Welsh  rabbits  well  —  don't 
forget  to  try  it.  Also  you  will  find  some  ginger  for 
ginger-beer.  I  send  a  box  of  lozenges  for  "  Ganserich," 
for  the  cold  drill  mornings.  I  shall  always  be  glad  that 
I  saw  you  as  far  on  your  road  as  I  could  ;  but  when  I 
look  back  and  think  how  very  little  I  have  stirred  out  of 
the  house  ever  since  I  came  from  Berlin,  that  march 
seems  to  me  a  dream. 

I  do  not  think  that  the  book  about  it  will  come  out 
before  the  next  Comic.  I  have  been  so  delayed,  the 
spring  season  for  publishing  is  over.  You'll  be  sure 
to  have  it.  I  have  drawn  you  just  as  you  came  dripping 
out  of  the  Lahn,  and  I  mean  to  try  some  way  or  other  to 
commemorate  Wildegans.  Tom  Junior  does  not  forget 
any  of  you.  The  other  day  he  pointed  to  that  old  fat 
major  or  colonel  of  the  29th,  who  walks  about  with  a 
thick  stick,  and  laughed,  and  said :  "  There  is  Franck." 

lie  says  "Franck  bought  Bello  —  Bello  is  Tom's 
dog"  —  and  he  always  toasts  Vildidans  and  Tarlyvitz 
when  he  gets  a  drop  of  wine.  He  talks  a  strange  jumble 
of  English  and  German,  and  English  according  to  the 
German  Grammar.  "That  is  hims,"  "There  is  you's 
chair,"  "  Will  you  lend  it  for  me,"  &c.,  &c.  Fanny  is 
very  well  again,  and  very  good  ;  Jane  is  as  usual  ;  she  is 
now  drinking  porter,  at  which  I  look  half  savage.  Only 
think,  jiortcr  and  Cheshire  cheese,  and  I  dare  n't  take 
bulk/  I  must  n't  even  sip,  and  I  long  to  swi)/.  Nolhing 
but  water.  I  shall  turn  a  fish  soon,  and  have  the  pleasure 
of  angling  for  myself     1   am  almost  melancholy,  for  I 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  231 

never  had  any  serious  fears  about  my  health  before ;  my 
lungs  were  always  good.  But  now  I  think  they  are 
touched  too.  I  've  had  a  sort  of  plaister  on  my  chest 
which  will  not  heal ;  but  I  won't  bother  you  with  my 
symptoms.  In  spite  of  all  this,  I  ordei-ed  this  morning  a 
new  fishing-jacket  —  a  green  one  ;  so  you  see  I  mean  to 
show  fight,  and  keep  on  my  legs  as  long  as  I  can.  But 
one  must  reckon  the  fishing  calendar  a  month  later; 
those  that  used  to  spawn  in  May  will  do  it  in  June,  I 
expect.  Of  coui'se  they  would  not  come  out  while  there 
was  snow.  I  meant  to  have  got  some  gudgeons  this 
month,  which  is  the  prime,  or  ought  to  be  the  best 
season  —  but  this  is  all  gone  by.  I  have  such  difficulty 
in  writing,  I  cannot  send  you  so  long  a  letter  as  I  should 
wish :  it  is  some  exertion  to  me  at  present  to  think  of 
any  thing:  I  am  obliged  to  keep  myself  quiet. 

Moreover  there  is  so  little  news  stiri-ing  that  it  is  not 
easy  to  fill  up  a  letter.  Mind  and  give  my  remembrances 
most  kindly  to  every  one  of  my  old  comrades,  and 
pray  thank  them  for  thinking  of  me.  I  only  wish  I 
could  put  myself  under  our  Captain's  orders  again,  and 
have  to  trouble  your  Quartermaster. 

It  will  be  a  pleasant  subject  for  life  for  me  to  think 
upon  that  same  march  —  for  though  I  was  not  on  speak- 
ing terms  with  many  of  your  officers,  I  was  not  the  less 
friendly.  Do  not  forget  my  best  respects  to  the  Colonel, 
whenever  you  see  hira,  —  nor  my  compliments  to  the 
Major :  I  suppose  Carlovicz  is  not  with  you,  but  send  our 
regards  to  him  —  and  tell  him  Tom  is  an  excellent  mas- 
ter to  Bello  —  indeed  more  attentive  to  him  than  to  me 
even  —  for  at  the  least  scratch  at  the  door,  whatever  play 


232  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

he  is  engaged  in,  he  breaks  off  to  go  and  let  in  his  dog. 
Say  everything  kind  to  "Wildegans  —  he  and  I  ought  to 
insure  each  other's  lives.  I  hope  he  likes  the  Bromber- 
gian  quarters. 

I  cannot  give  more  particular  messages,  for  the  names 
are  very  difficult  to  spell  —  but  I  trust  to  you  not  to  omit 
my  compliments  to  every  officer  of  my  acquaintance  in 
our  regiment.  I  must,  however,  especially  name  my  own 
quarter-comrades  Von  Bonkowski,  and  Von  Ileugel,  of 
whose  attentions  I  retain  a  grateful  impression,  often  re- 
curring in  memory  to  Hagelstadt,  Burg  Kremnitz,  Ni- 
chel,  and  Schlunkendorf.  Pray  give  me  all  the  regimen- 
tal news  when  you  write.  I  shall  not  leave  here  till 
June  —  and,  at  all  events,  you  shall  hear  from  me  before 
I  move.  We  have  our  lodgings  till  15th  July,  but  shall 
not  stay  so  long  as  that ;  and  now,  old  fellow,  God  bless 
you,  and  send  you  all  sorts  of  luck,  and  happiness,  and 
sport,  and  promotion  —  everything  you  wish.  May  you 
I)ull  out  salmons,  and  may  salmons  pull  you  in,  but  with- 
out drowning  you.  I  say,  Tim,  says  he,  if  I  was  at 
Bromb(;rg  would  n't  we  have  fun ;  but  that  's  over.  So 
as  Mahomet  said  to  the  mountain  — "  why  if  I  can't 
come  to  you,  why  you  must  come  to  me."  Farewell  and 
Amen,  says,  my  dear  Johnny, 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Thomas  Hood. 

Rather  better  to-night. 

Your  box  leaves  here  with  this  —  acknowledge  receipt 
of  all. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  233 

752,  Alten  Geaben,  Saturday,  29t/»  April,  1837. 

My  dear  France, 

I  quite  forgot  to  ask  in  my  letter  for  what  I  wanted. 
If  you  can  spare  it  then,  not  otherwise,  please  to  send  me 
the  book  the  old  clergyman  gave  you  on  the  march,  of 
military  songs. 

I  mean  that  where  he  says  his  sweetheart  is  his  belt, 
his  knapsack,  his  firelock,  &c.,  &c. ;  if  you  have  it  not, 
tell  me  the  name  of  it.* 


*  I  give  the  literal  translation  of  this  song,  and  the  comment  on  it, 
from  "  Up  the  Rhine."  Would  not  Mr.  Theodore  Martin  translate  it 
well?  — T.  H. 

"  It  smacks  of  the  very  spirit  of  Uncle  Toby  and  Corporal  Trim, 
and  seems  written  with  the  point  of  a  bayonet  on  the  parchment  of  a 
drum. 


"  0,  Gretel,  my  Dove,  my  heart's  Trumpet, 
My  Cannon,  my  Big  Drum,  and  also  my  Musket, 
Oh,  hear  me,  my  mild  little  Dove, 
In  your  still  little  room. 

"  Your  portrait,  my  Gretel,  is  always  on  guard, 
Is  always  attentive  to  Love's  parole  and  watchword; 
Your  picture  is  always  going  the  rounds  — 
My  Gretel  I  call  at  every  hour. 

"  My  heart's  knapsack  is  always  full  of  you , 
My  looks  they  are  quartered  with  you ; 
And  when  I  bite  off  the  top-end  of  a  cartridge 
Then  I  think  that  I  give  you  a  kiss. 

"  You  alone  are  my  Word  of  Command  and  Orders, 
Yea,  my  Right-face,  Left-face,  Brown-Tommy,  and  Wine, 
And  at  the  word  of  command,  '  Shoulder  arms,' 
Then  I  think  you  say, '  Take  me  in  your  arms.' 


234  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

I  have  heard  from  London,  and  am  .happy  to  say  Dilke 
is  considerably  better,  which  is  a  very  great  reli(^f  to  us. 
All  concur  in  advising  me  to  quit  this  ;  in  fact,  I  feel 
sure  that  another  winter  and  summer  here  would  kill  me 
between  them. 

So  we  are  going — that's  decided  —  on  the  1st  of 
June  —  a  week  earlier  if  we  can  get  all  our  arrange- 
ments made.  I  am  better,  and  feel  quite  pleased  with 
the  thought  of  leaving  Coblenz,  of  which  I  am  heartily 
sick  —  for  it  has  nothing  now  to  make  us  regret  it,  but 
the  mere  beauty  of  the  scenery.  We  shall  go  to  Ostend 
for  the  sea :  if  we  do  not  like  it  to  Bruges,  Ghent,  or 
Brussels,  for  as  I  do  not  expect  to  come  to  the  Continent 
again,  I  mean  to  see  a  little  of  Flanders  and  France, 
should  I  be  strong  enough,  while  there ;  and  then  we  are 
so  near  we  can  pass  over  to  England  in  a  few  hours 
whenever  we  like. 

Dilke  says  he  will  not  swear  he  loon't  come  over  to 
see  us,  though  he  had  such  bad  luck  in  his  visit  to  us 
here.  There  is  a  gentleman  coming  out  shortly  with 
the  Comics,  so  I  will  send  you  one,  and  one  for  Prince 
Charles,  if  you  like  to  send  it.  By  the  time  you  receive 
this  I  hope  you  will   have  your  box  quite  safe.     Don't 

"  Your  eyes  sparkle  like  a  Battery, 
Yea,  tliey  wound  like  Ronil^s  and  Grenades; 
Black  as  Guni)o\ver  is  your  hair, 
Your  hand  as  white  as  Paradiug-breeclies. 

"  Yes,  you  arc  the  Match,  and  I  am  the  Cannon; 
Have  pity,  my  love,  and  give  Quarter,  — 
And  give  tlie  word  ol'connnand,  '  Wheel  round 
Into  my  heart's  Barrack  Yard  '  " 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  235 

forget  to  toast  some  of  your  cheese,  it  makes  famous 
Welsh  rabbits.  We  sup  on  them  four  nights  a  week.  I 
suppose,  Johnny,  all  my  fishing  will  "  suffer  a  sea 
change,"  and  I  must  adapt  my  tackle  for  flounders,  soles, 
whiting,  cod,  and  mackerel. 

As  to  wittles  and  drink,  Coblenz  is  worse  than  ever. 
There  is  no  Bavarian  beer  now,  and  no  Westphalian 
hams  !  Deubel  pulls  a  very  long  face  at  our  going,  and 
no  wonder,  for  thei-e  are  lists  of  "  lodgings  to  let "  as 
long  as  your  arm.  I  never  saw  so  many  before.  I  am 
riding  out  every  fine  day  to  gain  strength,  and  bid  good 
bye  to  the  views.  We  don't  take  Katchen  with  us,  who 
has  been  trying  hard  to  go,  as  well  as  to  be  made  resid- 
uary legatee  as  to  all  our  things  here  —  modest  impu- 
dence ! 

Tim,  says  he,  I  saw  a  fight  between  men  here  the 
other  night  for  the  first  time.  It  was  good  fun,  two  to 
one  ;  and  did  n't  they  pull  hair  like  gals,  and  then  haul 
him  down,  and  give  him  a  good  unfair  beating  while  he 
lay  on  the  ground !  And  did  n't  he  go  away,  wiping  his 
bloody  nose,  for  good  as  I  thought,  but  came  back  again 
with  three  or  four  allies  ;  and  the  others,  at  least  one  of 
the  others,  was  ready  with  a  mighty  big  bit  of  wood  ; 
and  did  n't  the  women  squall,  and  run  out  to  see  with 
candles,  though  it  was  hardly  dusk  ;  and  did  n't  they 
screech  like  a  knife  on  a  plate,  and  lug  the  men  about ! 
Then  the  fellows  all  gobbled  like  turkey-cocks  —  such 
explosions  of  gutturals  !  You  knoAV  what  thick  voices 
the  common  people  have.  And  then  they  began  to  fight 
again  ;  and  a  lot  of  men,  women,  and  children  bolted  up 
all  sorts  of  streets,  saiive  qui  pent.  I  don't  know  how  it 
ended,  so  I  won't  say. 


236  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

And  now,  old  fellow,  God  bless  you.  I  will  write 
again  with  the  Comic  when  it  comes.  The  Dilkes  desire 
kind  remembrance  to  you ;  so  does  Jane,  and  Fanny 
ditto,  and  Tom  ditto  ditto.  Don't  forget  me  to  all  the 
19th,  including  the  staff,  and  believe  me,  from  my  top 
joint  to  my  butt. 

My  dear  Tim, 

Yours  very  truly, 

Thomas  Hood. 

752,  Alten  Gkaben,  Coblenz,  April  29ih,  1837. 

My  dear  Doctor, 

Many  thanks  for  your  kind  letter  ;  it  positively  did  me 
good.  But  you  seem  seldom  to  put  pen  to  paper  without 
that  effect,  whether  in  letters  or  prescriptions.  I  wrote 
a  very  brief  notice  of  the  state  of  my  health  to  Mr. 
Wright. 

The  Germans  drink  low  sour  wines,  and  have  a  hor- 
ror here  of  anything  that  heats  them  in  the  way  of  drink, 
such  as  Spanish  wine,  &c.  Yet,  in  spite  of  this  care, 
they  are  subject  to  inflammatory  attacks  very  commonly. 
The  grippe  here  took  that  character  very  decidedly. 

Fanny  was  obliged  to  have  leeches  on  her  face. 
Tom's  was  highly  inflamed,  and  had  a  great  discharge 
from  his  nose  and  behind  his  ear,  which  were  very  sore. 
^Ir.  Dilke's  attack  here  was  attended  with  strong  inflam- 
mation. We  have  heard  only  yesterday  of  an  English 
lady  obliged  to  have  leeches ;  in  fact,  there  are  standing 
advertisements  in  the  town  papers  where  leeches  are  to 
be  had  cheap.  I  know  of  three  barber-surgeons  who 
bleed ;  there  may  be  more.     The  one  who  bled  me  in 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  237 

February  is  only  just  set  up,  and  he  told  me  he  had  bled 
eighty  that  month  ;  one  may  say  two  hundred  and  fifty, 
between  the  three  operators,  with  safety.  Inflamed  eyes 
are  extremely  common  here,  and  there  is  a  peculiar 
inflammation  of  the  whole  face  called  the  "rose."  I 
dare  say  the  causes  may  be  found  in  the  very  great 
changes  of  temperature  here,  both  abroad  and  at  home. 
The  sun  is  very  much  warmer  than  in  England,  and  the 
winds  are  much  colder. 

It  is  dangerous  to  pass  from  the  sun  into  the  shade. 
Then  in  the  houses  their  mode  of  building  is  the  worst 
possible.  This  one  is  a  fair  sample.  Below,  a  passage 
ri<Tht  throuffh  the  house,  with  front  door  to  the  street 
and  back  door  to  the  yard,  always  open  till  after  ten  at 
night.  From  the  middle  of  this  passage  a  well  staircase 
right  up  through  the  house,  terminating  in  the  garrets, 
where  the  high  roofs  are  full  of  unglazed  windows  or 
holes,  for  the  special  purpose  of  creating  draughts  for 
drying  linen.  On  this  stair,  or  open  landings,  all  your 
room-doors  open  ;  so  that  you  step  out  of  a  close  stove- 
heated  room  into  a  thorough  draught  of  the  street  air. 
I  tried  it  once  by  thermometer :  the  room  was  60°,  and 
outside  45°.  The  winters  are  very  cold,  and  doubly  so 
in  these  comfortless  buildings.  I  used  to  fancy  the  Ger- 
mans never  cut  their  hair,  by  way  of  defence  against 
cold  in  the  head,  but  I  saw  two  fight  the  other  day,  and 
the  hair  was  of  the  greatest  feminine  use,  namely,  to  pull 
at.  My  last  attack  of  spitting  blood  came  on  the  mo- 
ment after  going  down  the  stairs ;  and  the  first  time  I 
came  up  them  again  I  caught  the  rheumatism,  and  had 
leeches  on  my  foot,  which  bled  all  night.     So  I  am  some- 


238  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

what  recliiced,  and  the  diet  here  is  anything  but  nourish- 
ing. Take  for  example  the  present  bill  of  fare :  no  fish 
ever,  no  poultry  now,  no  game  of  course,  never  any  pork, 
veal  killed  at  a  week  old,  beef  from  cart-cows,  and 
plough-bullocks,  which  when  cold  is  as  dry  and  almost 
as  white  as  a  deal  board.  The  very  bread  is  bad,  poor 
wheat  mixed  with  rye  and  inferior  meals.  The  people 
are  poor,  and  the  ground  is  wretchedly  over-cropped. 
It  is  a  beautiful  country  indeed  to  the  eye,  but  I  shall  not 
regret  leaving  it.  There  are  no  books  within  reach,  and 
no  society,  which  I  need  not  to  care  about,  for  the  tor- 
pidity or  apathy  of  mind  in  these  people  is  beyond  belief. 
German  phlegm  is  no  fable  ;  but  you  will  have  a  book 
about  them  next  half-year  with  plenty  of  sketches.  The 
communication,  too,  with  London  is  so  vexatious  and 
slow  (it  takes  above  a  month)  as  to  be  a  serious  evil  to 
me.  I  had  resolved  on  a  change  on  this  account  alone, 
when  my  last  illness  clenched  my  decision.  We  are 
going  to  Ostend,  where  I  shall  be  not  only  within  reach 
of  England,  but  hope  to  be  benefited  by  the  sea-air, 
which  always  did  me  the  most  marked  good.  I  have 
tried  in  vain  to  master  German,  partly  from  its  dilliculty, 
and  partly  fi-om  having  only  the  intervals  between  my 
attacks  for  all  I  had  to  write  or  draw.  But  Fanny  talks 
it  fluently,  and  Tom  understands  it  perfectly  as  well  as 
English.  Fanny  is  very  well  now  ;  and  Tom  a  fine 
hearty  fellow,  full  of  fun,  which  his  motley  jai-gon  makes 
very  comic.  The  ''Jane"  too,  wears  very  well.  For 
myself,  I  keep  up  my  spirits  on  my  toast-and-water, 
wiiich  is  all  I  drink,  save  tea  and  coilee,  and  seem  rally- 
ing again.  I  have  a  sort  of  appetite,  too,  if  there  were 
anything  worth  eating. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  239 

I  really  cannot  do  as  the  invalids  do  here.  Mrs.  Deu- 
bel,  our  landlady,  as  the  first  luxury  on  recovering  from 
the  grippe,  comforted  her  inside  with  a  mess  of  dried 
buUaces  in  sour  wine !  Head  only  tells  half  the  truth, 
for  instance,  of  the  breeches  maker,  who  ate  a  bowl-full 
of  plums  ;  but  he  does  n't  hint  that  he  swallowed  all  the 
stones.  I  hnoio  that 's  their  way  of  eating  cherries  !  I 
could  tell  you  some  strange  stories.  The  mortality  here 
has  been  great,  but  of  young  children  it  is  painfully  so 
all  the  year  round.  And  no  wonder  —  the  other  day  a 
mother  called  in  a  barber-surgeon  to  save  expense.  The 
child  had  a  rash  —  he  put  ice  on  the  head  —  turned  the 
red  spots  blue  and  black,  and  it  died. 

When  we  are  at  Ostend  you  will  perhaps  be  tempted 
to  come  over,  and  see  us  and  the  country. 

The  cities  in  Belgium  are  interesting,  and  all  within 
easy  reach.  I  think  I  shall  make  a  stx-ange  sitting  to  an 
artist,  who  wants  my  portrait  for  next  year's  exhibition  ! 

I  look  more  Uke  the  Rueful  Knight  than  a  Professor 
of  the  Comic. 

Pi-ay  tell  Mrs.  Elliot  that  the  man  at  Moselweis, 
whither  we  went  by  moonlight,  who  had  only  a  bit  of 
plum  tart  in  his  hou>e,  failed  subsequently,  as  might  be 
expected,  but  another  has  taken  the  gardens,  and  they 
are  as  popular  as  ever.  I  hope  it  has  not  given  her 
a  taste  for  "White  Conduit  House,  and  the  like.  But 
it  was  a  sample  of  our  German  manners  and  amuse- 
ments. 

I  have  not  learned  smoking  yet ;  but  hate  it  worse 
than  ever,  since  I  see  its  effects  on  the  mind  and  the  per- 
son.    However,  should  I  leave  Germany,  I  have  intro- 


240  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

duced  angling  and  am  the  Izaak  Walton  of  the  Rhine, 
Moselle,  and  Lahn. 

I  shall  write  a  less  selfish  egotistical  letter  when  I  get 
to  Ostend,  to  tell  you  how  it  agrees  with  me,  as  well  as 
some  little  anecdotes,  &c.,  I  have  not  now  time  or  space 
to  get  in  ;  besides  being  a  little  weary  of  holding  my  pen. 
I  flag  at  times  rather  suddenly,  of  course  from  weakness. 
Jane  promises  to  wn-ite  too,  when  settled,  in  answer  to 
Mrs.  E.'s  kind  letter,  to  whom  she  sends  her  kind  re- 
gards with  mine  ;  and  Fanny  begs  to  mingle  —  not  for- 
getting Willy. 

I  am,  my  dear  Doctor, 

Very  truly  yours, 

Thos.  Hood. 

I  was  ordered  lately  a  sort  of  slow  blister  on  the  chest, 
which  would  only  stick  on  by  help  of  strips  of  adhesive 
plaister. 

The  grippe  seemed  to  cause  a  great  deal  of  this  hu- 
mour here. 

It  has  been  a  nasty  malignant  disease,  infinitely  worse 
than  the  influenza  as  avc  used  to  have  it  in  England. 
The  people  have  a  great  horror  of  what  they  call  a  ner- 
vous fever.  They  say  the  French  brought  it  from  Mos- 
cow. But  I  suspect  the  sour  wines  here  are  very  bad, 
per  se. 

752,  Alten  Graben,  Coblekz,  May  Hh,  1837. 

My  dear  Wright, 

m  *  *  * 

As  regards  "  Up  the  Rhine,"  I  am  glad  you  liked  the 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  241 

drawings;  you  are  right  about  them,  they  will  require 
engraving,  and  I  should  like  them  well  done.  They  are 
not  like  the  Comic  cuts,  mere  jokes  ;  but  portraits  and 
fac-similes  of  the  jjeople,  &:c.,  and  should  be  correctly 
done.  I  hope  to  make  it  altogether  a  superior  book.  I 
shall  have  another  set  of  good  ones  to  send  you  ;  which 
you  may  show  to  Harvey  if  you  like.  I  had  a  rare 
bother  about  the  box  with  the  customs.  It  had  been 
opened  at  the  frontier ;  and  they  wanted  to  open  it  again 
here.  But  I  had  them  —  some  wet  had  got  in,  and  the 
blocks  were  almost  wet,  and  one  of  the  bindings  was  a 
little  stained  by  damp.  I  admire  the  style  of  the  Prince's 
books.  I  did  not  venture  any  more  than  you  to  open  the 
Prince's  things,  they  seemed  so  well  packed,  but  sent 
them  off  as  they  were.  And  Franck's  are  gone,  too, 
with  a  bit  of  cheese !  It  is  very  good,  and  toasts  capi- 
tally. Ain't  it  provoking  for  me  ?  —  by  chance  we  can 
get  porter  here  just  now,  and  I  dare  n't  touch  a  drop  of  it 
with  my  cheese !  I  'm  on  toast  and  water,  though  very 
low  and  weak.  But  I  am  getting  better ;  and,  as  the 
weather  improves,  shall  ride  out.  I  am  delighted  to 
think  of  leaving  here  ;  it  is  a  beautiful  country,  and  liv- 
ing is  cheap  ;  but  I  am  worn  out  by  these  repeated 
attacks  and  delays,  with  anxiety  to  boot ;  and  it  is  most 
dismally  dull  here  now.  No  one  to  converse  with,  and  I 
cannot  see  a  book  or  know  what  is  going  on  in  the  liter- 
ary world  —  the  "  Athen^um  "  excepted  ;  that  is  some- 
thing. But  the  worst  of  the  "  Athenaeum  "  is,  it  makes 
me  long  to  read  some  of  the  books  it  reviews.  Then  the 
diet  is  so  wretched  for  an  invalid,  and  the  domestic  com- 
forts few.     The  country  is  anything  but  the  land  of  corn, 

VOL.   I.  11  p 


242  MEMOEIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

wine,  milk,  and  honey  one  would  think  to  look  at  it ;  and 
the  people  are  hateful  —  I  mean  unbearable  —  to  Eng- 
lishmen. They  hate  tis  I  am  quite  convinced.  I  have 
given  up  any  idea  of  colouring  my  sketches,  except  per- 
haps a  bit  here  and  there,  as  the  caps  in  some  carnival 
figures  to  show  they  ai'e  the  tricolour. 

It  is  quite  a  comfort  to  us  that  Dilke  is  better ;  he  is 
an  old  man  though,  he  says.  We  were  uneasy  about 
him.  He  says  that,  in  spite  of  his  sorry  Rhenish  trip,  he 
won't  swear  not  to  visit  us  at  Ostend.  Now  that  would 
be  quite  a  practicable  distance  for  you,  and  it  would  do 
us  both  good.  I  have  some  projects  I  could  concert  with 
you  there.  I  fancy  already  that  I  sniiF  the  sea,  and  feel 
it  bracing  me.  I  once  literally  left  my  bed  for  the  first 
time  to  get  into  the  Brighton  coach,  and  the  next  morn- 
ing but  one  I  was  walking  on  the  shingles.  The  sea  is 
life  to  me.  I  propose  to  quit  here  about  the  1st  of 
June,  —  sooner  if  I  can. 

We  talked  with  our  landlord  to-day  about  going.  His 
naturally  extra-long  face  grew  still  longer.  He  com- 
plained bitterly  of  the  state  of  trade,  want  of  money, 
&c. ;  and  unluckily  for  him,  though  when  I  first  came  to 
Coblenz  I  could  hardly  find  a  single  place,  there  is  now 
a  list  in  the  paper,  as  long  as  your  arm,  of  lodgings  and 
houses  to  let.  I  have  been  trying  to  learn  German,  but 
it  is  very  hard ;  I  am  too  deaf  to  catch  the  pi-onuncia- 
tion,  and  when  I  do,  can't  imitate  it.  And  the  grammar 
is  hard,  and  tlie  construction  too.  The  Germans  are  fond 
of  long-winded  sentences ;  and  as  the  verb  comes  at  the 
end,  you're  very  much  botlicred.  My  teacher  is  a  Jew, 
a  Doctor  of  Philosophy,  and  talks  English,  so  I  hojied 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  243 

for  some  conversation ;  but  wherever  we  set  out  it  ends 
in  buying, -selling,  and  bartering.  He  is  going  to  leave 
Coblenz  in  about  a  month.  We  went  all  of  us  to  tea 
there  the  other  day,  and  ate  up  all  their  Passover  cakes 
but  two,  and  they  must  not  just  now  eat  anything  else. 

My  fancies  now  are  rather  piscivorous,  —  I  am  think- 
ing of  skate,  brill,  turbot,  dabs,  and  flounders,  and  even 
what  Jane  once  resented  so,  a  red-spotted  plaice.  I  have 
at  times  quite  longed  for  oysters,  fancying  they  would 
agree  well  with  me  —  they  are  considered  so  nourishing. 
Dilke  would  call  me  a  humbug  if  I  say  there 's  little 
nourishment  on  the  Rhine,  but  so  it  is,  and  it  gets  worse. 
Last  year  Bavarian  beer  was  to  be  had,  none  this  ;  West- 
phalian  hams  ditto.  And  yet,  oh  yet  when  I  look  at  the 
Rhine,  it  is  a  lovely  country,  and  I  love  the  beautiful.  I 
shall  see  all  I  can  before  I  go,  as  I  can  carry  all  the 
scenery  vividly  in  my  mind. 

We  have  missed  De  Franck  much.  By  accounts  from 
him  he  likes  Bromberg ;  it  is'  a  superb  place  for  fishing ; 
but  after  wishing  for  salmon,  they  are  so  large  there  he 's 
afraid  to  attack  them  on  account  of  his  tackle.  I  expect 
there  will  be  some  droll  work  there.  There  are  enor- 
mous fish  in  their  lakes,  and  all  the  party  are  unused  to 
our  tackle  :  the  Germans  fish  by  main  force.  We  have 
a  sea  fish  here,  they  call  a  3fay  fish,  comes  as  high  as 
this,  but  we  do  not  expect  it  this  season ;  it  is  a  very 
inferior  sort  of  bass. 


I  am  glad  to  hear  you  liked  my  letters  on  copyright : 
I  have  got  the  "Athenaeum"  with  the  second  part.     I 


244  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

think,  remembering  T ,  I  let  off  the  booksellers  pretty 

easily.  I  was  glad  at  having  such  a  subject  in  the 
"  Athenaeum  ; "  when  I  get  nearer  I  hope  to  be  in  print 
there  more  frequently ;  for  here,  things  I  should  like  to 
have  my  say  on  are  gone  by  before  I  can  come  at  them. 
Ostend  will  be  next  best  to  being  in  London.  I  have 
some  thoughts  of  beginning  a  new  series  with  next  Comic 
if  I  can  hit  on  any  novelty  to  distinguish  it.  I  have  a 
dim  idea  of  one  in  my  head. 

The  heat  here  is  sudden,  and  would  try  us  all  if  we 
stayed  through  June.  Jane,  who  has  conquered  a  little 
German  for  household  use,  will  have  to  learn  a  new  jar- 
gon. They  talk,  I  believe  bad  Dutch  and  French,  and  I 
expect  English  also.  The  cities  are  very  interesting, 
and  easy  to  get  to  —  fomous  pictures  to  be  seen ;  so,  if 
you  contemplate  coming,  I  will  reserve  my  visits  to  them 
for  your  company.  I  have  lots  of  funny  things  to  tell 
you.  When  Dilke  was  here  I  did  not  get  a  single  gossip 
with  him,  he  was  too  ill  to  talk  or  be  talked  to  ;  and  when 
better  I  was  away  at  Berlin  :  so  I  should  also  stand  some 
chance  here  of  dying  of  a  suppression  of  ideas.  Jane  is 
hearty  in  health  now :  Fanny  very  good,  reads  a  good 
deal,  and  remembers  it  to  good  ])urpose.  As  for  Tom, 
he  is  a  fine,  funny,  spirited  fellow,  with  a  good  temper, 
and  very  strong.  Yours  that  I  remember  must  be  get- 
ting into  big  boys.  My  godson  ain't  much  the  better  for 
his  godfather's  Christian  looking-after,  is  he  ?  And  mine 
are  away  from  their  godparents  among  Roman  Catholics 
and  Jews.  Fanny  makes  crosses  of  wax,  and  Tom  is 
very  fond  of  Passover  cakes.  Our  maid  is  a  Roman 
Catholic,  but  the  easiest  one  I  ever  saw.     She  confesses 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  245 

only  once  a  year,  and  very  seldom  goes  to  mass,  from 
sheer  indolence.  She  is  the  most  phlegmatic  being  I 
ever  saAv. 

"Should  the  whole  frame  of  Nature  round  her  break, 
She  unconcerned  would  hear  the  mighty  crack  —  " 

provided  it  did  not  hurt  herself ;  a  fig  for  German  phi- 
losophy —  it 's  all  selfishness. 

Pray  give  our  kindest  regards  to  Mrs.  Wright,  and  the 
same  to  yourself.  I  do  now  live  in  hooes  to  see  you  be- 
fore long,  and  so  remain, 

My  dear  Wright, 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Thomas  Hood. 

Pray  don't  forget  to  remember  me  to  E.  Smith,  and 
recommend  to  him,  in  my  name,  to  hold  his  shoulders  in- 
stead of  his  sides  when  he  laughs.  Did  I  ever  tell  you 
that  there  is  a  young  man  over  the  way  so  like  you  we 
call  him  "  John  Wright."     N.  B.   I  will  try  to  fatten  my 

face  up  for  Mr.  Lewis  against  he  comes !     Tell  B to 

beware  of  falling  out  of  gigs  during  a  commercial  crisis, 
or  people  may  think  he 's  broken.  God  bless  you  !  Kind 
regards  to  Harvey  and  all  friends. 

At  this  time  we  finally  quitted  Coblenz,  travelling 
down  the  Rhine  by  successive  day's  stages.  The  railroail 
was  then  only  just  commencing,  which  has  since  afforded 
such  increased  facilities  of  speed  and  comfort.  It  is  to 
be  regretted  that  so  little  was  known  of  Germany  and 
Belgium  in  those  days.     My  father's  constitution  was  as 


246  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

unfitted  for  the  miasmatic  swamps  and  mists  of  Oslend, 
as  for  the  alternate  extremes  of  heat  and  cold  at  Coblenz. 
But  for  his  exile  to  these  counti*ies  —  an  exile  which  he 
underwent  for  the  faults  of  others  —  he  might  still  be 
delighting  the  world  with  the  later  fruit  of  a  genius  that 
had  barely  attained  its  maturity  at  the  time  of  his  death. 

39,  Rue  Longoe,  Ostend,  June  28ih,  1837. 
Mr    DEAR    WUIGHT, 

You  will  see  fi-om  the  above  address  that  we  are  not 
only  safe  here,  but  settled,  after  a  prosperous  but  slow 
journey ;  nothing  lost  or  broken  but  a  little  bottle  of 
marking-ink,  so  that  it  was  luckily  performed,  with  the 
advantage  of  fine  weather  to  boot.  Our  exit  from  Coblenz 
was  worthy  of  the  entrance  :  the  farce  did  not,  like  many 
modei'n  ones,  fall  off  at  the  end.  AVe  had  a  famous  row 
with  our  landlord.  He  rushed  up  his  own  stairs,  and 
shouted  from  the  top,  "  Dumme  Englander !  "  and  then 

Jane  had  a  scrimmage  with  him.     R i  played  the 

Italian  traitor  to  both  sides  all  the  time.  Finally,  just 
on  the  gunwale  of  the  packet,  as  it  were,  they  gave  us  a 
finishing  touch  ;  for  Jane  called  to  pay  a  bookseller  on 
the  road,  and  he  made  her  jiay  for  a  number  more  than 
she  had  had. 

As  for  Katchen,  she  cried  at  the  parting  point  —  part- 
ly, I  suppose,  because  we  did  not  take  her  with  us  (for 
she  told  all  her  friends  she  intended  it),  and  partly  be- 
cause she  was  bidding  farewell  to  good  wages  and  lo 
enouf/h  to  eat  —  a  case,  by  her  own  account,  rather  un- 
common with  servants  in  Coblenz.  We  had  a  fine  trip 
down  to  Cologne,  lodged  comfortably,  and  took  a  coach 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  247 

to  Liege,  with  an  old  coachman,  oddly  enough,  of  the  very 
family  we  were  going  to  visit.  Next  night  at  Imperial 
Aix,  and  the  following  one,  after  a  long  pull,  and  a  fine, 
but  tremendously  hot,  day  at  M.  Naglemacher's  at  Liege. 
He  has  a  beautiful  country  seat  an  hour's  drive  from  the 
city ;  but  I  was  so  exhausted  with  heat  and  fatigue  I  could 
scarcely  speak,  and  kept  my  room  all  the  evening,  but 
rested  there,  and  enjoyed  the  two  next  days  extremely. 

There  ai"e  beautiful  grounds,  rhododendi'ons,  hill,  wood, 
and  all  quite  to  my  taste,  Avith  a  superb  view.  Moreover, 
one  of  the  most  amiable  and  accomplished  families  I  ever 
met  with.  The  lady  paints  in  oils  beautifully.  I  really 
took  them  for  good  Dutch  pictures.  A  delightful  sweet 
girl  about  ten  made  Fanny  very  happy,  and  Tom  raced 
about  like  a  young  Eed  Indian,  till  he  was  half  baked  in 
the  sun. 

The  Nagelmachers  all  speak  French  except  Made- 
moiselle, so  that  Jane  had  to  sit  very  like  the  matron  of 
the  Deaf  and  Dumb  School,  but  she  made  up  for  it  with 
our  friend  Miss  Moore.  We  parted  sworn  friends  with 
the  Nagelmachers ;  ate  and  slept  wretchedly  at  a  dirty 
inn  at  Tirlemont ;  and  the  next  night  reached  Brussels, 
where  we  rested  the  Sunday,  too  tii-ed  to  stir  out,  except 
the  children,  who  went  to  see  St.  Gudule.  Besides,  it 
was  wet  weather.  I  started  next  day  with  a  new  coach- 
man for  Ghent.  Slept  at  Ghent,  and  thence  by  track- 
shuyt  (or  barge)  through  Bruges  to  this  place,  where  we 
arrived  at  seven  in  the  evening  in  good  style  rather  as  to 
fatigue,  after  such  a  long  pull  with  children,  luggage,  and 
bad  health.  I  ventured  to  drink  a  glass  of  porter  on 
leaving  Brussels,  which  helped  me  up  amazingly,  as  for 


248  MEMOKIALS  OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

four  or  five  months  previously  I  had  not  positively  touched 
■wine,  beer,  or  spirit,  till  that  hour.  I  then  thought  I 
might  have  held  the  curb  too  tightly,  but  there  was  no 
more  porter  to  be  had  all  the  rest  of  the  way.  Jane,  of 
course,  is  fatigued  very  much,  but  no  more  than  was  to 
be  expected. 

To  do  poor  Fanny  and  Tom  justice,  they  were  models 
for  grown  travellers,  ate  and  drank  whatever  came  before 
them,  slept  when  tired,  waked  all  alive,  talked  and  made 
friends  with  everybody  —  waiters,  maids,  coachmen,  and 
all  —  so  much  so,  that  the  coach  was  loaded  with  large 
bouquets  of  purple  and  white  lilac,  and  other  flowers : 
got  into  no  scrapes  except  from  exuberant  fun,  and  came 
in  at  the  end  as  fresh  as  larks,  though  almost  roasted  from 
sitting  in  the  coach  with  their  backs  to  the  sun  and  no 
blinds. 

Give  my  remembrance  to  all,  and  come  as  soon,  and 
stay  as  long,  as  you  can,  Jane  begs  to  say  ditto,  as  I  feel 
sure  it  would  do  me  good,  body  and  mind,  to  see  friends. 

Yours,  ever  truly, 

Tuos.  Hood. 

89,  Rue  Longub,  Ostend,  20th  June,  1837. 

Mt  dear  "Wright, 
Do  not  forget  to  write  yourself,  whenever  you  mean  to 
come,  that  we  may  meet  you  at  the  landing-place,  and  I 
trust  it  will  not  be  long  before  we  have  that  pleasure ; 
and  have  the  kindness  to  l)ring  with  you  the  articles 
mentioned  at  the  end,  chiefly  books.  I  hope  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Dilke  will  come  to  see  us  in  our  new  quarters,  or 
we  shall  die  of  suppressed  jokes,  stories,  and  arguments 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  249 

we  were  to  have  had  on  the  Rhine.  We  are  just  recov- 
ering from  the  fatigue  of  our  journey  —  poor  wretched 
travellers  that  we  are  —  and  I  begin  to  enjoy  myself  as 
well  as  my  weakness  will  pei'mit. 

"We  have  now  been  here  a  week,  and  I  have  exposed 
myself  to  the  sea-breeze  to  judge  of  its  powers;  and,  as 
it  has  had  no  evil  effect  on  my  lungs,  I  begin  to  hope 
they  are  not  very  unsound,  and  that  in  other  respects  for 
sea-side  enjoyment  there  cannot  be  a  better  place. 

The  Esplanade  is  very  fine,  and  the  sands  famous 
for  our  brats,  who  delight  in  them  extremely.  We 
munch  shrimps  morning  and  night,  as  they  are  very 
abundant,  and  quite  revel  in  the  fish.  I  have  dined 
several  days  on  nothing  else,  and  it  is  such  a  comfort 
to  think  of  only  that  strip  of  sea  between  us,  quick 
communication  by  packets,  and  posts  four  times  a  week, 
that  I  feel  quite  in  spirits  as  to  my  work,  and  hopeful 
as  to  my  health.  I  am  very  weak,  but  otherwise  as 
well  as  can  be  expected  from  such  repeated  attacks. 

But  I  have  moved  only  just  in  time,  for  I  feel  con- 
vinced the  Rhine  was  killing  me :  between  hurry,  worry, 
delay,  tedium,  disgust,  the  climate,  and  the  diet,  and  the 
consciousness  with  all  these  disadvantages,  of  no  very 
great  improvement  besides  in  health.  I  write  a  long 
letter  by  this  same  post  to  Dr.  Elliot,  with  further  partic- 
ulars that  I  may  have  the  benefit  of  his  advice,  how  to 
live  and  keep  alive. 

I  have  now  the  comfort  of  thinking,  that  whatever 
I  may  do  will  not  be  long  in  reaching  you,  whether 
blocks   or  MS.     It  will  even   be  possible  here  to  see 

the   proofs ;   not   that   I   undervalue   your   kindness    in 

11* 


250  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

that  respect,  but  the  German  book  would  have  unusual 
difficuhies  as  to  names,  words,  &c.  I  shall  see  some 
of  the  Germans  here,  as  some  come  for  bathing ;  and 
I  propose,  if  strong  enough,  to  take  a  trip,  by-and-bj, 
through  the  old  Flemish  cities,  which  are  well  worth 
seeing.  Perhaps  we  may  get  together  to  one  or  two 
of  them,  as  the  communication  is  easy. 

Bring  with  you  such  of  the  German  cuts  as  are 
engraved,  and  arrange  for  as  long  a  stay  as  you  can, 
as  it  will  do  me  good  to  converse  a  little  about  okl 
times.  The  first  news  we  had  on  arrival  here  was  of 
the  King's  death,  a  kind  old  friend  of  mine.  I  do  not 
mourn  for  him  visibly,  for  it  is  too  hot  for  blacks ;  and 
the  English  here,  who  are  all  blacked  at  top,  or  bottom, 
or  in  the  middle,  no  doubt  take  me  for  an  extreme  Tory 
or  Radical.  The  King  and  Queen  of  Belgium  come 
here  in  a  fortnight ;  so  that  I  shall  be  the  neighbour 
of  royalty,  as  they  will  live  in  our  street,  only  three 
or  four  doors  off.  I  am  rather  tired  from  writing  at 
length  to  Elliot ;  and,  moreover,  feeling  you  are  to  come 
soon,  I  do  not  care  to  pen  what  I  would  rather  say 
personally.  So,  with  kind  regards  to  Mrs.  W.,  in  which, 
with  love  to  yourself  and  the  boys,  Jane  and  Fanny 
join,  not  forgetting  my  godson  in  particular, 
I  am,  dear  W., 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Tiios.  Hood. 

Tom,  whom  I  have  told  of  your  hand,*  expects  you, 

*  This  is  an  allusion  to  an  accident  wliich  happened  to  Mr.  Wright's 
hand  while  he  was  out  shooting.  —  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  251 

and  even  anticipates  your  appearance.  You  would  laugh 
to  see  him  walk  with  one  arm  trussed  up  like  a  fowl's 
wing,  as  he  expects  to  see  you. 

OsTEND,  June  27th,  1837. 

Mt  dear  Dr.  Elliot, 

*  *  *  * 

I  will  now  give  you  a  sketch  of  our  departure  from 
Coblenz.  Beautiful  as  the  Rhine  is,  I  left  its  banks 
without  the  slightest  regret.  Coblenz  I  was  particularly 
delighted  to  turn  my  back  upon,  for  it  was  associated 
with  nothing  but  illness,  suffering,  disgust,  and  vexation 
of  spirit.  I  left  not  a  single  friend  or  acquaintance  with 
a  sigh.  Lieutenant  de  Franck  being  at  Bromberg  since 
October,  and  everything  I  had  to  do  with  the  people, 
especially  at  the  end,  was  attended  by  circumstances  of 
a  kind  almost  to  disgust  one  with  human  nature.  The 
history  of  our  last  ten  days  would  present  only  a  series 
of  petty  robberies,  just  short  of  open  force :  lying,  dis- 
simulation, treachery,  "  malice,  hatred,  and  all  uncharita- 
bleness." 

First,  a  shopkeeper  took  a  shilling,  or  its  German 
equivalent,  and  swore  it  was  only  sixpence  ;  then  tlie 
work-girl  stole  a  handsome  book,  a  recent  present  from 
London  to  Fanny  ;  then  came  a  bill  for  half-a-year  in- 
stead of  a  quarter  ;  then  our  maid  grumbled  because,  as 
we  were  going  away,  our  tradespeople  no  longer  tipped 
her ;  and  then  our  landlord,  knowing  our  witness  was  at 
Bromberg,  flatly  denied  a  verbal  agreement,  and  wjlnted 
to  make  me  repair,  &c.  As  a  sample  of  his  conscience, 
he  demanded  sixteen  dollars  for  whitewashing.     I  sent 


252  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

for  a  man,  who  offered  to  whitewash  the  whole  place  for 
four  and  a-half,  and  the  rascal  himself  took  six.  He, 
moreover,  conducted  himself  so  that  I  threatened  him 
with  a  gens  d'arme,  wlierenpon  he  retreated,  and  vented 
himself  by  shouting,  "  Dumme  Englilnders  !  Stupid  Eng- 
lishers  !  "  from  the  top  of  his  own  stairs. 

Between  our  broken  German  and  his  broken  French 
it  made  a  tolerable  farce.  Then  a  civil  functionary  and 
his  wife  condescended  to  call  and  beg  some  of  our  furni- 
ture and  our  stock  of  wood !  In  fact,  they  cheated  us  to 
the  water's  edge  ;  for  Jane  called  to  pay  a  bookseller  a 
door  or  two  from  the  packet  office,  and  he  made  her  pay 
for  a  book  we  had  never  had.  And,  finally,  Jane  only 
discovered  yesterday,  that  at  the  very  last  of  the  packing 
the  maid  (not  the  old  thief  that  you  saw,  but  another) 
had  abstracted  a  new  un-worn  worked  collar.  This  is 
but  a  sample  of  the  usual  style.  In  short,  with  cheating 
and  downright  thieving,  I  doubt  whether  we  have  econo- 
mised much.  At  least  we  might  have  lived  in  England 
in  the  same  style  (i.  e.,  without  carpets  and  other  com- 
forts, according  to  the  national  custom  here)  for  the  same 
money. 

It  is  not  pleasant,  nor  even  a  pecuniary  trifle,  to  pay 
from  twenty  to  thirty  per  cent,  on  yonr  whole  expendi- 
ture, for  being  an  Englishman  —  and  you  cannot  avoid  it ; 
but  it  is  still  more  vexatious  to  the  spirits  and  offensive 
to  the  mind  to  be  everlastingly  engaged  in  such  a  petty 
warfare  for- the  defence  of  your  pocket,  and  equally 
revoking  to  the  soul  to  be  unable  to  repose  confi- 
dence on  the  word  or  honesty  of  any  human  being 
around  you. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  253 

In  aggravation,  I  am  persuaded  that  the .  English  are 
no  favourites  with  the  natives. 

They  are  too  independent  to  be  servile,  and,  when  not 
abject  to  German  despotism,  the  natives  are  Frenchified 
and  Buonapartists.  The  proud  poor  barons  detest  the 
English  for  their  superior  wealth  ;  and  talk  who  may  of 
intellectual  Germany,  I  have  found  none  of  their  mental 
acquisitions  or  abiUty.  You  will  not  be  surprised  to  hear, 
that  so  soon  as  I  found  we  were  out  of  Prussia,  I  threw 
up  all  our  caps,  hats,  and  bonnets,  with  a  mental  vow 
never  to  enter  the  Prussian  dominion  again. 

Our  entrance  into  Belgium  was  auspicious,  on  the 
very  finest  day  of  the  season. 

The  Belgian  Douane  opened  a  box  or  two,  mistaking 
me  at  fiirst  (what  an  unwelcome  compliment)  for  a  Prus- 
sian, but  passed  all  the  rest.  I  could  have  smuggled 
very  easily ;  but  a  genuine  Prussian,  I  understand,  gets 
well  overhauled ;  and  he  deserves  it,  as  their  own  system 
is  so  rigorous.  At  Cologne  we  were  so  lucky  as  to  get  a 
return  coach  to  Liege,  and  the  driver  happened  to  be  an 
es-coachman  of  M.  Nagelmacher's ;  so  that  we  had  no 
difficulty  at  all.  Madame  N.  had  a  German  governess 
from  near  Coblenz  ;  and  (does  n't  it  sound  like  preju- 
dice ?)  she  was  as  disagreeable  as  her  countryfolk.  "NVe 
had  a  laughable  description  of  her  dignified  descent  to 
the  kitchen  to  fetch  her  supper,  and  her  dignified  marches 
up  again  if  it  was  not  ready,  for  she  would  not  conde- 
scend to  ask  for  it  of  the  servants.  The  latter  all  called 
her  the  Proud  German.  Here  (at  Liege)  we  had  two 
days'  rest,  then  slept  at  Tirlemont,  rested  another  day  at 
Brussels,  slept  at  Ghent,  and  came  on  here  by  the  canal 


254  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

boat.  I  saw  nothing,  being  fatigued,  of  any  place  we 
passed  through.  But  the  cities  are  all  highly  interesting, 
and  at  easy  distances  ;  so  that,  when  I  get  strong  enough, 
I  shall  go  round  to  them.  Brussels  seemed  a  nice  little 
city  to  live  in.  We  like  the  aspect  of  this  place ;  the 
sands  are  capital  for  the  childi-en,  who  are  as  happy  as 
can  be  with  their  shell  baskets. 

I  ought  to  tell  you  that  little  Tom  is  a  capital  traveller, 
ate,  drank,  and  slept  heartily,  was  always  merry,  and 
chatted  and  made  friends  with  everybody.  All  the 
coachmen,  waiters,  maids,  &c.,were  in  love  with  him;  so 
that  our  trouble  was  less  than  might  have  been  expected 
with  such  a  youngling.  We  had  a  very  narrow  escape 
from  damp  sheets  at  an  liotel  at  Aix,  which  advertises 
itself  as  a  connection  witli  the  Emperor's  bath  ;  and  really 
the  bed  linen  seemed  just  to  have  come  out  of  it.  So 
we  slept  without,  and  the  chambermaid  had  the  con- 
science not  even  to  show  herself  in  the  morning. 

In  my  state  such  a  mishap  as  a  damp  bed  would  be 
serious.  I  could  not  help  remarking  that  Ave  paid  the 
dearest  frequently  at  the  worst  hotels,  as  well  as  the  best, 
the  middle  ones  being  most  reasonable,  and  in  essentials 
most  comfortable. 

I  found  the  wide  green  landscapes  of  Belgium  very 
refreshing ;  and  the  rich  clover,  fine  corn,  and  handsome 
cattle  in  the  meadows,  partake  something  of  the  air  of 
a  Land  of  Promise,  after  the  delusive  sordidness  of 
Rhenish  Prussia.  The  extreme  cleanliness,  too,  as,  for 
instance,  between  Bruges  and  Ghent,  was  a  delicious 
feature  after  the  Gcrniari  filth,  lint  to  enjoy  them,  peo- 
ple should  come  from  the  Rhine  to  Belgium  instead  of 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  £55 

vice  versa,  the  general  route  of  our  tourists,  who  go  to 
Antwerp  instead  of  Rotterdam,  and  thence  to  Brussels. 
It  is  no  shght  relief  to  hear  English  and  French,  and 
even  Flemish,  instead  of  that  detestable  gabble  of  gut- 
turals, -which  may  account,  perhaps,  for  the  German 
partiality  to  turkey-cocks.  The  people  here  are  notori- 
ously.  favourable  to  the  English,  and  seem  civil,  good- 
humoured,  and  obliging.  They  also  look  healthy.  I 
walked  into  the  market  on  purpose  to  observe  them,  and 
saw  only  ruddy  faces,  polished  by  the  sea-air.  If  they 
cheat  us,  which  I  do  not  yet  know,  they  do  it  with  more 
civility  and  a  better  manner,  which  is  something  per 
contra. 

Our  servant  took  a  fancy  to  Tom,  and  has  brought 
him  a  little  family  relic,  a  china  cup  and  saucer  for  his 
especial  use ;  and  our  landlady  actually  thinks  for  us,  and 
keeps  adding  little  articles  of  comfort  for  our  use,  though 
I  never  saw  lodgings  so  completely  furnished,  even  to 
umbrellas !  In  my  own  little  room  I  have  a  chamber 
organ,  should  I  get  weary  of  grinding  my  brains.  And 
the  kitchen,  little  as  it  is,  is  complete,  even  to  an  eight- 
day  clock.  In  fact,  I  feel  we  are  very  lucky,  for  some 
old  occupants  have  already  applied  for  our  apartments, 
which  speaks  well  for  the  people  of  the  house,  and  the 
place  is  filling,  and  every  day  lodgings  get  scarcer. 

There  are  a  good  many  English  and  some  foreigners. 
"VVe  shall  have  a  few  Germans  by-and-by  to  bathe,  so 
that  I  shall  have  an  oppoi'tunity  of  seeing  how  they  be- 
have when  away  from  home.  Our  friends,  Mr.  AVright, 
and  probably  Mr.  Dilke,  and  probably  Mrs.  Dilke,  are  to 
come  over  to  visit  us  shortly,  so  that  we  may  have  cards 


256  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

now  with  AT  HOME  upon  them  ;  it  is  indeed  but  a  step 
across  compared  to  our  late  distance ;  and  I  felt  it  quite 
a  comfort  to  reflect,  as  I  stood  on  the  sand,  that  there  is 
but  the  sea  and  a  few  hours  between  me  and  England, 
in  case  of  extremity.  I  am  none  of  those  who  do,  or 
affect  to,  undervalue  their  own  country,  because  they 
happen  to  have  been  abroad.  There  is  a  great  deal  of 
this  citizen-of-the-worldship  professed  now-a-days  —  in 
return  for  which  I  think  the  English  only  gets  ridiculed 
by  foreigners  as  imbeciles  and  dupes.  Overweening 
nationality  is  an  absurdity ;  but  the  absence  of  it  alto- 
gether is  a  sort  of  crime.  The  immense  sums  drawn 
ft-om  England  and  lavished  abroad  is  a  great  evil,  added 
to  other  pressures  at  home.  We  read  that  last  year  the 
Romans  were  starving  on  account  of  the  absence  of  the 
English,  deterred  by  the  cholera  ;  and  if  such  be  the 
effect  of  their  absence  on  a  foreign  capital  or  country,  it 
must  be  injurious  in  as  great  a  degree  in  their  own.  The 
Spitalficlds  weavers  starve  ;  and  the  waiter  at  the  Belle 
Vue  at  Coblenz  rides  his  own  horse  in  summer,  and  in 
winter  in  liis  sledge  in  a  cap  of  crimson  velvet ! 

We  are  luxuriating  on  fish  :  it  composes  (with  vegeta- 
bles) my  dinner  as  often  as  not. 

For  six  cents  we  get  as  many  shrimps  as  we  can  eat, 
so  that  in  addition  to  always  dining,  which  was  not  often 
the  case  in  Coblenz,  I  always  breakfast. 

I  sometimes,  since  I  have  been  here,  find  myself  irre- 
sistibly attacked  l)y  sleep  in  tlie  afternoon  ;  but  I  attrib- 
ute it  to  the  morning  walk  and  the  sea  air,  as  it  has  been 
breezy  weather,  though  fine,  ever  since  we  came. 

I  was  never  so  strong  or  so  stout  in  my  life  as  after  a 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  257 

six  weeks  at  Hastings,  when  I  went  to  recover  from  a 
rheumatic  fever.  I  sailed  daily  fair  or  rough  ;  steer- 
ing the  boat  myself,  and  drank  always  on  my  return 
a  large  bowl  of  milk,  with  bread  and  butter  by  way  of 
lunch. 

Perhaps  if  I  find  the  sea  air  affect  me  favourably,  I 
had  better  try  the  boating  again,  which  gives  it  in  an 
intenser  dose.  Up  to  this  point  (and  at  my  last  walk  it 
blew  almost  a  gale),  I  have  not  felt  any  bad  effect  from 
the  sea  air,  being  out  at  least  two  hours  each  time.  "We 
think  of  bathing  for  Tom  and  Fanny.  They  visibly  are 
better  already  for  the  coast. 

Indeed  Tom  looks  quite  handsome  with  his  bronzed 
little  face  and  white  teeth,  and  Fanny  has  acquired  a 
good  colour;  and  there  is  no  keeping  them  from  the 
loaf.  We  are  all  in  mourning  here  for  the  King ;  that 
is  to  say,  we  wear  such  black  as  we  happen  to  have,  — 
myself  not  included,  for  I  feel  the  heat  so  that  I  dress  as 
lightly  as  I  can.  I  have  no  doubt  I  pass  for  something 
extreme  therefore  in  my  politics,  as  the  mourning  is 
very  general  here  with  the  English.  But,  like  an  old 
man,  I  give  up  to  ease  all  dandyism,  fashion,  or  forms 
that  might  interfere  with  my  comfort,  and  go  in  dishabille 
of  green  and  white. 

Indeed  the  two  last  years  have  been  as  twenty  to  me 
in  effect,  and  I  almost  feel  as  if  on  the  strength  of  my 
weakness  I  could  give  advice,  and  dictate  to  young  men 
who  were  born  no  later  than  myself  However,  I  hope 
to  see  you  again  before  I  am  quite  grey  and  childish  ; 
and  in  the  meantime  pray  accept  my  felicitations  on  the 
satisfactory  settlement  of  your  brother,  with  my  heart- 


258  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

felt  thanks  at  the  kind  interest  you  have  taken  in  me, 
and  every  best  wish  I  can  think  of  towards  you  and 
yours,  down  to  the  last  little  unknown.  Jane  unites  with 
me  in  kindest  regards  to  Mrs.  Elliot  and  yourself,  and 
Fanny  begs  me  to  add  her  love,  which  is  echoed  by  Tom. 
I  am,  my  dear  Doctor, 

Ever  truly  yours, 

Thomas  Hood. 

39,  EUE  LONGUE,  OSTEND,  13^/t  Jultj,  1837. 

My  dear  "Wright, 

*  *  *  * 

We  find  ourselves  very  comfortably  settled  now.  If 
you  come,  there  is  a  spare  bed  for  you,  and  another  for 
the  Dilkes ;  so  that  if  you  should  come  together  there  is 
room  for  all.  I  am  looking  anxiously  for  your  coming, 
as  I  think  it  would  do  me  good,  and  give  me  spirits  to 
finish  off  in  style  the  books  for  this  year.  Tiiere  are 
four  mail  packets  come  every  week,  and  one  Company's 
steamer.  We  have  had  famous  weather,  not  one  unfair 
day  since  we  came ;  but  if  you  prefer  bad  weather  you 
can  wait  for  it,  though  I  think  it  will  be  late  this  year. 

There  are  still  a  few  things  I  should  like  to  have  : 
Talfourd's  speech  on  copyright,  Tegg's  remarks  on  ditto, 
and  Lamb's  Letters.  I  could  perhaps  make  an  article 
for  Dilke  of  the  latter,  and  weave  into  it  some  anecdotes, 
&c.  of  Lamb  I  was  collecting  before.  It  is  publislicd  by 
Moxon. 

I  cannot  make  up  my  iniiid  to  write  any  particulars  to 
you,  as  I  look  forward  to  the  pleasure  of  telling  them.  I 
get  the  "  Athena3um  "  regularly  here  on  the  Wednesday  ; 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  £59 

and  have  been  introduced  to  two  people  here,  Colley 
Grattan  and  —  but  the  other  I  will  show  you,  and  then 
surprise  you  with  his  name. 

I  wish  I  could  end  here  without  having  worse  news  ; 
but  our  debut  here  has  not  been  in  all  respects  lucky. 
Poor  Jane  has  had  a  terrible  sore  throat,  so  much  so, 
that  I  was  obUged  to  call  in  a  doctor ;  who  gave  her  two 
grains  of  calomel  only,  but  which  seemed  to  revive  all 
she  had  taken  in  her  former  illness,  and  in  consequence 
she  had  her  mouth  in  a  dreadful  state.  A  warm  bath 
will  carry  this  off,  and  we  have  one  within  a  door  or 
two ;  but  she  has  had  a  relapse  with  her  throat,  probably 
from  coming  down  too  soon.  I  am  assured  it  is  not  an 
affection  belonging  td  the  place,  which  they  say  is  very 
healthy,  and  the  people  look  so.  Grattan  has  been  here 
some  years,  and  speaks  well  of  it  too.  Poor  Tom  has 
had  a  most  severe  pinch  with  the  street  door,  and  has 
lost  the  nail  of  his  finger ;  but  let 's  hope  this  is  all  the 
footing  we  have  to  pay  here. 

And  now,  my  good  fellow,  come  as  soon  and  stay  as 

long  as  you  can ;  and  tell  B not  to  make  me  quite 

such  an  Exile  of  HearirC.  And  mind  do  not  write  to  me 
any  of  yo\xr  paste  restante  but  to  the  address  at  the  head 
of  this.  It  will  save  postage  if  you  bring  your  next 
yourself.  I  cannot  help  thinking  that  perhaps,  as  the 
French  say,  you  are  here  next  Saturday,  in  which  hope 
I  sign  and  resign  myself,  dear  Wright, 

Yours  very  truly, 

Thomas  HOO0. 

Saturday  will  be  St.  Switliin's  day,  so  bring  your  um- 


260       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

brella.     That  puts  me  in  mind  of  an  impromptu  on  poor 
William  the  IVth :  — 

"  The  death  of  kings  is  easily  explained, 

And  thus  it  might  upon  his  tomb  be  chiselled  — 
'  As  long  as  Will  the  Fourth  could  reign,  he  reigned, 
And  then  he  mizzled.' " 

I  am  contemplating  an  ode  to  Queen  Victoria  for  the 
"  Athenaeum."  You  may  tell  Dilke  I  think  Janin's  last 
paper  a  capital  example  of  political  criticism.  I  own  I 
am  curious  to  see  T.  Tegg's  "  Remarks  on  Copyright ;  " 
so  don't  forget  it.  Pray  poke  up  Dilke :  and  should  he 
have  any  qualms  about  coming,  scrunch  tliem  in  the 
shell !  You  would  do  me  a  world  of  good  among  you  ; 
and  I  have  never  had  a  palaver  with  him  yet.  And  it 
would  not  hurt  him.  Besides,  he  went  to  INIargate  some 
summers  back,  and  it  "  ain't  to  compare  "  with  this  for 
selectness  and  sea.  I  suppose,  and  hope,  he  is  tolerably 
well.  Unless  you  come  soon,  let  me  have  a  bulletin, 
rather  clearer  than  those  about  the  King.  Why  can't  the 
Queen  make  me  Consul  here  ?  I  don't  want  to  turn 
anybody  out,  but  can't  there  be  nothing-to-do  enough  for 
two?  The  King  and  Queen  of  Belgium  are  comiifg 
here.  I  rather  think  the  Dilkes,  who  are  very  fashion- 
able, are  hanging  back  till  they  hear  the  Court  is  here, 
which  makes  Jane  and  me  jealous.  Mrs.  Dilke  need  not 
bring  a  bit  of  soap  with  her,  as  they  use  it  here ;  it  is 
quite  a  treat  to  see  the  clean  faces  and  hands.  I  covld 
kiss  the  children  here  about  the  streets  —  and  the  maids 
too.  I  think  the  German  men  kiss  each  other  so  be- 
cause, thanks  to  dirt,  there  is  no  fair  sex  there.    Flemish 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  2G1 

contains  many  words  quite  English  to  the  eye.  Over  the 
taverns  here,  you  see  "  Hier  verkoopt  Man  Drank."  As 
we  entered  here,  just  under  the  words  "  man  drank,"  sat 
a  fellow  with  a  tremendous  black  eye,  quite  as  if  on  pur- 
pose to  prove  the  text  by  illustration.  But  I  am  fore- 
stalling our  gossip,  so  good  bye.  Pray  attend  to  the 
business  part  of  this  letter,  and  do  not  neglect  the  pleas- 
ui'e  part  either. 

Pray  congratulate  Moxon  for  me  on  having  an  article 
on  his  sonnets  in  the  "  Quarterly,"  where  I  never  had  a 
line  though  I  write  odes  ! 

39,  Rue  Longtje,  Ostend,  Saturday,  lOlh  Sept.,  1837. 

My  dear  "Wright, 

I  received  yours  this  afternoon.  Your  account  of 
}our  brothei-'s  family,  and  still  more  of  the  funeral,  is 
very  gratifying,  and  contains  all  the  comfort  that  one 
could  have  under  such  an  affliction:  it  must  have  soothed 
your  feelings  very  much  to  witness  such  an  unusual 
demonstration.  A  man  is  not  all  lost  who  leaves  such  a 
memory  behind  him.  I  am  heartily  glad  your  reflections 
have  such  a  scene  to  rest  upon,  connected  with  him,  to 
set-oif  against  some  of  the  bitterness  of  the  deprivation. 

You  may  be  at  ease  about  me,  my  health  has  not  de- 
layed the  Comic ;  but  I  was  so  forward  with  the  cuts,  I 
thought  it  worth  while  to  wait  to  send  them  all  at  once 
instead  of  by  detachments ;  and  accordingly  I  shall  de- 
spatch them  to  you  next  week.  What  a  comfort  to  think 
that  they  will  not  have  to  be  six  weeks  on  the  way  !  It 
makes  a  vast  difference.  I  except  the  frontispiece.  Did 
I  understand  you  that  Harvey  would  do  one  ?     Ilis  pen- 


202  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

cil  is  worth  having  —  that  there  may  be  something  artist- 
like ;  but  if  any  doubt  of  delay  say  so  at  once,  as  I 
should  in  that  case  prefer  knocking  one  off  myself. 
With  regard  to  the  two  setters,  do  it  by  all  means ;  the 
motto,  "Together  let  us  range  the  fields,"  is  the  best. 
Have  it  drawn  according  to  your  own  idea  of  it.  You 
will  find  in  the  box  a  list  of  the  mottoes,  and  the  blocks 
will  be  numbered  as  before.  I  am  in  good  spirits  about 
it,  as  the  "  Comic  "  will,  must,  and  shall  be  earlier  than 
common  this  year,  I  will  send  an  announcement  in  time 
for  the  Magazines.  And  now  for  the  fishing  plate.  I 
did  not  know  there  was  such  a  hurry,  so  laid  it  aside ; 
but  I  will  take  it  up  again.  If  I  do  it,  it  will  come  by 
one  of  next  week's  posts.  I  do  not  know  of  anything 
more  we  want  per  parcel,  unless  you  have  a  spare  copy 
of  the  "  Tower  Menagerie."  Do  not  forget  two  or  three 
copies  of  "  Eugene  Aram  "  unbound,  and  one  or  two  of 
last  "  Comic."  But  you  had  better  see  the  Dilkes,  for 
we  have  strong  hopes  of  their  coming  out,  and  they 
would  perliaps  bring  what  we  want. 

Don't  think  of  any  beer  ;  we  get  good  here  now.  The 
poem  in  the  "  Athenaeum  "  about  Ostend  confirmed  us  in 
our  hopes.  I  suspect  it  is  written  by  Sir  Charles  ]Mor- 
gan  (Lady  Morgan's  hub.),  who  has  heard  them  talking 
of  it.  I  wish  they  may  come,  as  there  is  a  chance  now 
of  their  enjoying  themselves ;  and  I  should  like  to  talk 
over  German  matters  with  him. 

By  the  way,  we  have  heard  from  Franck,  who  has 
been  off  into  Silesia  with  recruits.  lie  sent  the  money 
for  the  fishing-tackle;  and  our  banker  at  Coblenz  ad- 
vised me  that  he  received  it,  and  sent  it  off  on  the  12th 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  263 

of  last  month ;  but  it  has  nevei'  reached  here  yet.  I 
suspect  that  post-office  at  Coblenz  has  kept  it,  so  tliat 
they  have  even  doue  me  after  leaving  them.  They 
tricked  me  once  before.  *  *  *  For  my  part,  I  say, 
hang  party !  There  wants  a  true  country  party  to  look 
singly  to  the  good  of  England — retrench  and  economise, 
reduce  taxes,  and  make  it  possible  to  live  as  cheap  at 
home  as  abroad.  There  would  be  patriotism,  instead  of 
a  mere  struggle  of  Ins  and  Outs  for  place  and  pelf. 
Common  sense  seems  the  great  desideratum  for  gover- 
noi's,  whether  of  kingdom  or  family.  I  suspect  the  prin- 
ciples that  ought  to  guide  a  private  family  would  bear  a 
pretty  close  application  to  the  great  public  one  ;  their 
evils  are  much  of  the  same  nature  —  extravagance,  lux- 
ury, debt,  &c.  Thanks  for  your  recipe  :  I  may  try  it 
some  day,  but  I  am  shy  of  stimuli.  I  do  not  suffer  cither 
under  lowness  of  spirits  ;  now  and  then  I  feel  jaded 
rather,  and  indulge  perhaps  twice  in  a  week  in  a  single 
glass  of  sherry  :  my  appetite  is  better  than  it  used  to  be. 
I  always  eat  breakfast  now  ;  so  if  I  can  but  conquer  the 
lung-touch,  or  whatever  it  is,  I  shall  do.  I  think  I  have 
got  a  fair  set  of  cuts,  and  have  some  good  stories  for  the 
text  of  the  "  Comic ;  "  so  that  I  am  going  on  quite  "  as 
well  as  might  be  expected." 

Are  the  other  German  cuts  done  ?  I  have  a  hint  to 
give  you  about  the  cutting  the  "  Comic,"  —  not  to  cut 
away  my  blacks  too  much,  as  they  give  effect.  I  am  not 
sure  whether  some  of  the  German  cuts  do  not  want  black, 
but  perhaps  they  jt)nn<  up  more.  lam  so  pleased  with 
your  ideas  of  the  fables,  I  think  I  shall  do  them  next 
after  the  German  book,  with  nice  little  illustrations. 


264  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

Jane  is  getting  dozy,  and  so  am  I,  for  it  is  twelve 
o'clock  ;  so  I  must  shut  up.  Tom  is  very  well,  and  talks 
of  "  Mr.  Light  and  Jim  Co."  Oysters  are  in  here  ;  that 
is  to  say,  they  send  every  one  of  them  up  to  Brussels.  I 
think  I  '11  petition  the  King  about  it.  My  swallow  seems 
disposed  to  migrate  on  that  account  to  the  capital. 

Hang  their  shelfishness  !  confound  their  grottoes  !  I 
own  I  did  look  forward  to  the  natives,  but  one  cannot 
Lave  everything  in  this  world.  As  the  'prentices  say, 
"  I  'm  werry  content  with  my  wittles  in  this  here  place  !  " 
Our  kindest  remembrances  to  yourself  and  all  yours.  God 
bless  you. 

My  dear  "Wright, 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Tiios.   IIOOD. 

There  is  a  clergyman  wanted  (Church  of  England) 
for  this  place,  salary  £  130  per  annum.  There 's  a 
chance  for  a  poor  curate!  Tell  Dilke  of  it.  It's  a 
fortnight  since  I  heard  of  it ;  perhaps  it  may  be  gone. 

39,  Rue  Longce,  Ostend,  lC/7t  October,  1837. 
My  dear  Wright, 

According  to  promise  to  B ,  I  sit  down  to  write 

to  you  to-day. 

#  *  »  ♦ 

On  the  subject  of  my  health,  I  feel  somewhat  easier,  as  it 
seems  to  give  me  better  eventual  hope.  God  knows ! 
It  ha3  been  a  great  comfort  to  me,  and  gone  somewhat 
towards  a  cure,  to  feel  myself  vyitl^in  distance,  and  have 


MEMORIALS    OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  265 

such  posting  and  sending  facilities.  The  receipt  of  the 
"  Comic"  cuts  in  three  or  four  days  actually  enchanted 
me.  Altogether,  in  spite  of  illness,  I  have  done  more  this 
year.  I  feel  I  only  want  health  to  do  all.  I  do  not  lose 
time  when  I  am  well,  and  am  become,  I  think,  much 
more  of  a  man  of  business  than  many  would  give  me 
credit  for. 

Now  for  your  main  subject ;  and  I  wish  with  you,  we 
could  talk  it  over  instead  of  writing.  There  are  so  many 
points  I  should  like  to  know  something  about.  Such  an 
idea  as  a  periodical  it  would  have  been  impossible  at  Cob- 
lenz  to  entertain  for  a  moment.  Indeed,  some  months 
back  I  should  at  once  have  rejected  the  notion  from  sheer 
mistrust  of  my  health.  But  I  have  now  more  hardihood 
on  that  score,  and  shall  turn  it  well  over  in  my  mind.  I 
have  no  doubt  in  the  world  that  such  a  thing  well  done 
would  pay  handsomely,  but  I  do  not  yet  see  my  way 
clear.  For  instance,  it  is  hardly  possible  for  the  first  of 
January,  seeing  that  the  "  Comic  "  and  the  German  book 
have  to  be  done.  Then  there  must  be  tico  numbers  of 
the  new  work,  for  I  would  not  start  without  a  reserve  in 
case  of  accidents,  or  the  whole  craft  would  be  swamped 
in  the  launching.  Moreover,  the  idea  is  yet  to  seek,  as 
much,  indeed  all,  would  depend  on  the  happiness  of  that. 
There  is  no  end  of  uphill  in  working  with  a  bad  soil. 
Now  I  am  not  damping  ;  but  one  must  look  at  the  proba- 
bilities and  possibilities,  and  count  chances.  As  for  com- 
ing often  before  the  public,  —  as  I  mean  to  do  that  any- 
how, it  goes  for  nothing.  Nor  am  I  afraid  of  its  running 
the  "  Comic  "  dry,  fragmentary  writing  being  so  different, 
that  what  is  available  for  one  will  not  do  for  the  other. 

VOL.  I.  12 


2G6  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

So  I  shall  seriously  keep  my  eye  on  it,  in  the  hope  of 
some  lucky  thought  for  a  title  and  plan.  Such  an  inspi- 
ration •would  decide  me  at  once  perhaps.  In  such  a  case 
we  must  have  a  consultation  somehow,  as  writing  not 
only  is  unsatisfactory,  but  takes  up  so  much  time. 

Please  God  I  be  well  the  year  next  ensuing,  the  "  Com- 
ic" will  take  up  but  one-quarter  of  my  time,  and  I  must 
have  some  work  cut  out  for  the  rest.  I  fancy  the  fables 
for  one  thing,  but  that  would  be  liglit.  I  do  not  think  I 
fall  off,  and  have  no  misgivings  about  over-writing  my- 
self; one  cannot  do  too  much  if  it  be  well  done;  and  I 
never  care  to  turn  out  anything  that  does  not  please  my- 
self. I  hear  a  demon  whisper  —  I  hope  no  lying  one  — 
I  can  do  better  yet,  or  as  good  as  ever,  and  more  of  it ; 
so  let 's  look  for  the  best.  Nobody  ever  died  the  sooner 
for  hoping.  I  do  not  know  that  I  can  say  more  on  the 
subject ;  it  ynust  be  vague  as  yet.  Of  course,  January  is 
the  most  important;  but  if  it  cannot  be  done,  I  have  no 
doubt  of  February,  health  being  granted.  But  I  would 
a  thousand  times  rather  talk  over  all  these  things  instead 
of  writing  of  them.  I  am  glad  to  get  rid  of  the  pen  and 
ink  if  I  can,  out  of  school-hours ;  and  there  is  a  sort  of 
spirit  of  freshness  about  viva  voce  that  on  all  joint  affairs 
is  much  more  invigorating  than  scribbling. 

We  are  getting  into  the  Slough  of  Despond  about  the 
Dilkes.  No  word  from  them  since  we  wrote.  It  will  be  a 
disappointment  if  tliey  do  not  come,  as  our  hopes  have 
been  strong  enough  for  certainties.  And  now,  my  dear 
fellow,  I  must  close,  for  I  am  so  tired  I  shan't  add  any- 
thing but  Good  night. 


Yours  ever. 


T.  Hood. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  267 

21st  November,  1837. 
My  dear  "Wright, 

In  a  hasty  note  to  B ,  I  made  an  angry  piece  of 

work,  ■which  yours  received  to-day  does  not  serve  to  un- 
pick. I  complained  that,  for  want  of  reporting  progress, 
I  was  at  a  loss  to  adjust  any  matter  to  the  finis,  and 
behold  the  fruit. 

Had  I  known  that  the  Song  from  the  Polish  and  Hints 
to  the  Horticultural  made  some  twenty-two  pages  instead 
of  sixteen  (as  I  reckoned  by  guess),  I  should  hardly  have 
written  two  unnecessary  articles. 

They  were,  in  fact,  the  drop  too  much  that  overbrims 
the  cup.  But  for  them  I  should  have  come  in  fresh  ;  but 
through  those,  and,  above  all,  the  nervousness  of  not  even 
knowing  if  those  two  articles  before  had  been  received,  I 
half  killed  Jane  and  half  killed  myself  (equal  to  one 
whole  murder)  by  sitting  up  all  Saturday  night,  whereby 
I  was  so  dead  beat  that  I  could  not  even  write  the  one 
paragraph  wanted  for  preface,  whereby  five  days  are 
lost. 

I  suppose  there  was  a  gale  at  Dover,  for  what  you  had 
on  Saturday  ought  to  have  reached  on  Friday.  I  guessed 
the  "  Hit  or  Miss  "  well  enough,  as  I  can  count  lines  in  a 
poem,  but  prose  beats  me,  having  to  write  it  in  a  small 
hand  unusual  to  me. 

Of  course  my  sending  a  short  quantity  would  cause  a 
fatal  delay,  and  I  was  hardly  convinced  even  with  the 
two  superfluities  that  I  had  done  enough.  It  is  a  nervous 
situation  to  be  in,  and  I  do  not  think  you  allow  enough 
for  the  very  shaky  state  of  health  that  aggravates  it.  I 
am  getting  over  it  by  degrees  ;  but  at  times  it  makes  me 


268  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

powerless  quite.  It  is  physical,  and  no  effort  of  mind  can 
overcome  it  —  I  could  not  have  written  the  end  of  pref- 
ace to  save  my  life.  Indeed,  Sunday  I  was  alarmed,  and 
expected  an  attack. 

I  am  rather  vexed  the  "  Concert "  will  not  be  in,  as  I 
like  it.  I  think  such  short  things  are  good  for  the  book. 
Had  it  been  in  the  palmy  days  of  the  "  Comic,"  I  should 
have  given  an  extra  half  sheet ;  but  now  I  can't  afford 
anything  of  the  kind.  However,  I  am  not  sorry  to  have 
two  articles  to  the  fore.  Should  the  re-issue  be  decided  on, 
the  "  Concert "  will  do  for  the  first  number,  with  a  prose 
article  I  have  partly  executed.  I  think  it  is  a  very  likely 
spec,  and  the  best  that  can  be  done  under  circumstances. 
There  is  a  tarnation  powerful  large  class,  who  can  and 
would  give  one  shilling  a  month,  and  cannot  put  down 
twelve  shilHngs  at  once  for  a  book.  I  know  /  can't,  and 
you  would  hesitate  too. 

I  suppose  you  have  heard  of  Dilke's  opinion  of  the 
monthly  thing.  I  quite  agree  with  him,  that  because  it 
lias  been  done,  is  rather  against  than  for  the  chance. 
The  novelty  is  the  secret.  Non  seqnitiir  that  something 
like 's  would  do,  because  his  has  done. 

Whether  /  could  not  make  a  hit  with  a  mondilv  thing 

»'  CD 

is  another  question  —  but  the  more  unlike  to  his  \\\q 
thing  is,  the  more  chance.  Now  I  do  not  despair  of  find- 
ing some  novelty,  which  for  the  same  reason  as  the  re-issue 
of  the  "  Comic,"  it  might  be  best  to  do  monthly:  but  as 
you  must  know,  that  all  depends  on  a  hai)py  idea,  grant- 
ing a  new  and  lucky  thought,  I  should  start  on  it  directly, 
and  I  shall  keep  it  in  mind,  for  I  shall  want  something  to 
fill  uj)  my  leisure  with. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  269 

"We  looked  to  have  an  account  of  the  Guildhall  Din- 
ner —  pray  send  the  fullest  one.  I  think  I  can  make 
use  of  it  even  yet.  We  don't  see  the  "  Times  "  now 
Grattan's  gone  away. 

However,  one  against  the  other,  vi^e  don't  miss  them. 
As  I  expect  a  longer  letter  from  you  to  morrow,  I  shall 
shorten  this.  On  the  other  side  I  repeat  the  end  of  the 
preface,  for  fear  of  the  first  edition  not  reaching  you.  It 
was  sent  via  Calais  ;  and  please  note,  and  tell  me,  when 
it  arrived. 

You  will  understand  "Potent,  Grave,  and  Eeverend 
Signiors  "  to  face  the  opening  of  preface,  as  if  addressing 
them. 

Take  care  of  your  cough,  lest  you  go  to  Coughy-pot, 
as  I  said  before ;  but  I  did  not  say  before  that  nobody  is 
so  likely  as  a  wood  engraver  to  cut  his  stick. 

Tuesday,  21st  November,  1837.  (New  style.) 
Pray  send  off  a  very  early  copy  to  Devonshire  House. 
It  is  only  fair,  as  I  have  abused  you,  that  I  should 
thank  you  for  seeing  the  "  Comic  "  through  the  press  at 
all.  I  forgive  all  your  errors  beforehand,  as  I  know  mis- 
takes will  happen.  Pray  accept,  then,  my  sincere  and 
earnest  thanks  for  the  more  than  usual  trouble  I  fear  I 
have  given  you,  for  I  could  not  guide  you  much  in  the 
cut-placing.     God  bless  you. 

Yours,  dear  Wright, 

Ever  truly, 

Tiios.  Hood. 


270  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

39,  EuE  LoNGUE,  OsTEND,  2nd  December,  1837. 

My  dear  Doctor, 

I  have  several  times  been  on  the  point  of  writing  to 
you ;  but  firstly  came  a  resohition  to  try  first  the  effect  of 
the  place  on  me ;  secondly,  the  Dilkes  ;  and,  thirdly,  the 
"  Comic."  Indeed,  an  unfinished  letter  is  beside  me,  for 
(some  time  back)  there  seemed  to  be  a  change  in  the  as- 
pect of  my  case,  to  which  I  can  now  speak  more  de- 
cidedly. 

I  have  done  the  "  Comic  "  with  an  ease  to  myself  I 
cannot  remember. 

We  are  also  very  comfortable  here.  Fanny  is  quite 
improved  in  health,  getting  flesh  and  colour,  and  Tom  is 
health  itself.  Mrs.  Hood,  too,  fattens,  and  looks  well.  I 
have  got  through  more  this  year  than  since  I  have  been 
abroad.  I  wrote  thi'ee  letters  some  months  ago  in  the 
"Athenaeum"  on  Copyright,  which  made  some  stir,  and 

I  have  written  for  a  sporting  annual  of  B 's.     Also 

in  January  I  am  going  to  bring  out  a  cheap  re-issue  of 
the  "  Comic  "  from  the  beginning,  so  that  my  head  and 
hands  are  full.  I  know  it  is  rather  against  my  com- 
plaint, this  sedentary  profession  ;  but  in  winter  one  must 
stay  in  a  good  deal,  and  I  take  what  relaxation  I  can ; 
and,  finally,  "neccssitas  non  habet  leges."  I  am,  not- 
withstanding, in  good  heart  and  spirits.  But  who  would 
think  of  such  a  ci'caking,  croaking,  blood-spitting  wretch 
being  the  "  Comic?"  At  this  moment  there  is  an  artist 
on  the  sea  on  his  way  to  come  and  take  a  portrait  of  me 

for  B ,  which  I  believe  is  to  be  in  the  Exhibition ; 

but  he  must  flatter  me,  or  they  will  take  the  whole  thing 
as  a  practical  joke.     Of  course  I  look  rather  sentimen- 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  271 

tally  pale  and  tliin  than  otherwise  just  at  present.  I 
must  take  a  little  wine  outside  to  give  me  a  colour.  I 
have  a  little  very  p?<re  light  French  wine,  icithout  brandy, 

which  I  take  occasionally.     I  got  it  through  B ,  but 

do  not  drink  a  bottle  a  week  of  it  —  certainly  not  more. 
One  great  proof  of  its  being  genuine  is,  that  it  is  equally 
good  the  second  day  as  when  first  opened.  French  wine 
is  cheap  here :  it  only  cost  me,  bottles  and  all,  under 
fourteen  pence  per  bottle. 

We  had  an  agreeable  fillip  with  a  visit  from  the  Dilkes, 
accompanied  by  his  brother-in-law  and  sister,  who  have  a 
relation  at  Bruges.  It  put  us  quite  in  heart  and  spirits, 
for  we  are  almost  as  badly  off  here  as  in  Germany  for 
society.  Not  but  that  there  are  plenty  of  English  —  but 
such  English  —  broken  English  and  bad  English  —  scoun- 
drelly English ! 

To  be  sure,  I  made  an  attempt  at  acquaintance,  and  it 
fell  through  as  follows.  Coming  from  Germany  with  my 
heart  warm  towards  my  countrymen,  and  finding  thei-e 
was  even  a  literary  man  in  the  same  hotel,  I  introduced 

myself  to  Mr.  G .     He  came  here  afterwards  with 

his  family,  and  we  were  on  civil  terms,  exchanging  papers, 
&c.,  till  at  last  they  even  came  to  lodge  underneath ;  but 
we  never  got  any  nearer,  but  farther  off  from  that  very 
neighbourly  situation  —  in  fact,  we  never  entered  each 
other's  rooms,  and  they  left  without  taking  leave.  There 
was  no  possible  guess-able  cause  for  this ;  but  from  what 
I  have  seen,  and  since  heard,  I  rejoice  that  it  "  was  as  it 
was."  So  I  determined  to  stick  as  I  be.  The  intercourse 
is  so  easy,  we  see  &  friend  occasionally ;  for  instance,  INIr. 
Wright  has  been  across  to  see  us.     There  is  also  a  possi- 


272  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

bility  of  seeing  an  English  book  now  and  then.  Nay, 
there  is  a  minor  circulating  library  two  doors  off,  but  Jane 
and  I  had  such  reading  appetites,  we  got  through  the 
whole  stock  in  a  month,  and  now  must  be  content  with  a 
work  now  and  then  —  say  once  a  month.  But  we  go  on 
very  smoothly,  and  as  contentedly  as  we  can  be  abroad. 
Almost  every  Fleming  speaks  English  more  or  less,  and 
our  lodgings  are  really  very  convenient,  and  our  landlord 
and  lady  very  pleasant  people. 

He  is  not  an  old  man ;  but  was  a  soldier,  and  marched 
to  Berlin ;  and  he  is  a  carpenter  hy  trade,  but  paints, 
glazes,  and  is  a  Jack  of  all  trades.  I  have  in  my  own 
little  room  a  chamber  organ,  and  I  discovered  the  other 
day  that  he  had  made  it  himself,  and  he  quite  amuses  me 
with  his  alterations,  contrivances,  and  embellishments  of 
the  premises.  He  dotes,  too,  on  children  ;  and  Tom  is 
very  fond  of  him,  and  of  his  wife,  too,  but  declares  he 
will  not  dance  any  more  with  Madame,  because  "  she  fell 
down  with  him  in  the  gutter,  and  kicked  up  her  heels." 

He  gets  a  very  funny  boy,  with  a  strange  graphic 
faculty,  whether  by  a  pencil  or  by  his  own  attitudes  and 
gestures,  of  representing  what  he  sees.  I  have  seen  boys 
six  years  old,  untaught,  with  not  so  much  notion  of  draw- 
ing, and  he  does  it  in  a  dashing,  off-hand  style  that  is 
quite  comical.  His  temper  also  is  excellent,  and  he  is 
very  affectionate,  so  that  he  is  a  great  darling.  Fanny 
goes  to  a  day-school,  and  is  getting  on  in  French,  and 
improving  much.  So  that  I  only  want  health  at  present 
to  be  very  comfortable,  and  for  the  time  being,  I  am  better 
where  I  am  than  in  London.  I  have  as  much  cut  out  for 
me  as  I  can  do ;  and  am  quiet  here,  and  beyond  tompta- 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  273 

tion  of  society  and  late  hours,  living  well,  and  cheaply  to 
boot.  I  seem  in  a  fair  way  of  surviving  all  the  old  an- 
nuals —  most  of  them  are  gone  to  pot.  My  sale  is  noth- 
ing like  the  first  year's,  but  for  the  last  three  or  four  it 
has  been  steady,  and  not  declined  a  copy,  which  is  some- 
thing.    The  re-issue  promises  well. 

If  I  were  but  to  put  into  a  novel  what  passes  here, 
what  an  outrageous  work  it  would  seem. 

This  little  Ostend  is  as  full  of  party  and  manoeuvring 
as  the  great  City  itself —  or  more  in  proportion.  I  ver- 
ily believe  we  have  two  or  three  duels  per  month. 

There  have  been  not  a  few  about  the  minister  at  the 
Church  —  both  parties  having  a  man  to  support  —  and 
one  gentleman  actually  fought  three  duels  on  the  ques- 
tion. 

Some  of  us  are  very  dashing,  too ;  but  it  is  a  very 
hollow  Ostend-tation.  But  I  like  the  natives ;  they  are 
civil  and  obliging,  and  not  malicious,  like  the  Rhine- 
landers.  The  English  benefit  them  very  much,  and  they 
seem  in  return  to  try  and  suit  them.  Indeed  the  preva- 
lence of  speaking  English  amongst  the  very  lower  class 
does  them  credit,  and  reflects  disgrace  on  the  "  Intellect- 
ual Germans "  of  the  Rhine,  who  do  not  even  speak 
French,  which  here  is  very  general  also.  I  believe  this 
to  be  a  very  prosperous,  happy,  and  well-governed 
country. 

Their  kitchen-gardening,  I  forgot  to  say,  is  very 
excellent. 

The  vegetable  market  is  quite  a  sight;  much  of  it 
better,  and  all  as  good  as  English. 

And  now  I  take  warning  to  close.     Jane  is  very  anx- 

12*  B 


274  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

ious  to  explain  to  Mrs.  Elliot  that  she  has  .not  been 
unwilling,  but  unable  to  -write.  I  have  written  you  but 
a  stupid  desultory  letter,  but  hope  you  will  get  the 
"  Comic "  about  the  same  time,  and  that  it  may  prove 
more  amusing. 

I  am  still  rather  languid,  and  have  had  to  write  be- 
sides on  business :  but  having  a  spare  hour  or  two,  and 
something  decided  to  say  on  my  health,  would  not  defer 
longer.  I  am  unfeignedly  glad  to  hear  of  your  profes- 
sional success,  and  also  find  from  Dilke's  report  that  I 
have  to  congratulate  you  on  your  brother's  connection 
with  Mr.  C . 

Pray  give  our   kindest   regards  to  Mrs.  Elliot,  and 
Fanny's  love  and  Tom's,  which  is  always  overflowing  to 
"  Willie ; "  and  God  bless  you  all  as  you  deserve. 
I  am,  my  dear  Doctor, 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Tnos.  Hood. 


EXTRACT    FROM    A    LETTER    TO    C.    "W.    DILKE,    ESQ. 

December  4ih,  1837. 

Jane  and  I  were  very  much  concerned  to  hear  so  bad 
an  account  of  Mrs.  Dilke.  We  hope  none  of  it  is  attrib- 
utable to  her  trip.  I  can  now  sympathise  in  degree, 
leeches  and  all ;  but  it  is  pcrliaps  as  well  to  have  it,  if 
possible,  set  to  rights  at  once.  Pray  beg  that  she  will 
send  us  word  how  she  goes  on.  Jane  laughed  heartily 
at  her  description  of  the  journey  to  Calais.  But  it 
served  you  right.  Here  our  mail,  charged  with  letters, 
with  business  public  and  private  to  forward,  will  stay  in 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


275 


port  if  the  weather  is  bad ;  but  you,  only  for  pleasure, 
must  set  out  on  a  day  you  were  not  to  be  let  out  upon,  by 
your  own  confession,  as  if  the  devil  drove  you,  and  for 
what  hurry?  "Why  to  wait  at  Dover  for  the  worst  fog 
ever  known  ! ! !     Werdict :  "  Sarve  'em  right !  " 


Please  to  thank  Mrs.  Dilke  for  her  kind  message  to 
me ;  and  tell  her  not  to  be  bothered  with  indexes,  &c.,  to 
the  "  Athenffium."  I  cannot  help  wishing  for  her  sake 
that  the  little  Doctor  might  be  proscribed  again,  he 
might  do  much  more  good  to  her  than  he  will,  I  fear,  to 
Spain. 

What  three  hundred-power  donkey  wrote  that  tragedy 
in  last  "  Athenceum  ?  " 


A      ?oUi^:hU^S> 


276  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


CHAPTER    y. 

1838. 

At  Ostend.— Illness.  — "Hood's  Own."  — Mrs.  Hood  to  Mrs.  Dilkc  — 
Portrait  Painted  by  Mr.  Lewis.  —  Letters  to  Mr.  Wright,  Lieut.  De 
Franck,  and  Mr.  Dilke. 

I  INSERT  the  following  letter  from  my  mother  to 
Mrs.  Dilke  as  an  example  of  the  illness  and  harass 
under  which  most  of  my  father's  works  were  com- 
pleted. 

89,  Rde  Longue,  Ostend,  Feb.  24,  1838. 

My  dear  FniEND, 
I  write  a  few  lines,  for  I  am  sure  you  have  all  been 
sadly  vexed  and  uneasy  at  the  last  account  I  sent  to 
Wright,  and  the  non-appearance  of  anything  for  "  Hood's 
Own."  On  the  Wednesday  morning  v/e  sent  for  Dr.  B., 
in  hopes  that  he  might  suggest  something  serviceable. 
All  Tuesday  Hood  had  been  in  such  an  exhausted  state 
he  was  obliged  to  go  to  bed ;  but  I  was  up  all  night, 
ready  to  write  at  his  dictation  if  he  felt  able  ;  but  it  was 
so  utter  a  prostration  of  strength,  that  he  could  scarcely 
speak,  much  less  use  his  head  at  all.  The  doctor  said  it 
was  extreme  exhaustion,  from  the  cold  weatlier,  want  of 
air  and  exercise,  acted  upon  by  great  anxiety  of  mind 
and  nervousness.     He  ordered  him  port  wine,  or  said  he 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  277 

might  safely  drink  a  bottle  of  Bordeaux,  but  this  would 
not  do ;  and  the  shorter  the  time  became,  the  more  ner- 
vous he  was,  and  incapable  of  writing.  I  have  never 
seen  Hood  so  before ;  and  his  distress  that  the  last  post 
was  come  without  his  being  able  to  send,  was  dreadful. 
"When  it  was  all  over,  and  since,  I  have  done  all  I  can  to 
rouse  him  from  vain  regrets,  and  to-day  he  is  better. 


I  will  not  attempt  to  describe  our  harass  and  fatigue 
from  days  of  anxiety,  and  nights  of  wakefulness  and 
sitting-up. 

*  *  *  ■      « 

I  have  nothing  to  tell  you  new,  and  am,  with  love 
to  all, 

Yom*s  affectionately, 

Jane  Hood. 

After  the  post  was  gone  —  and  the  pressure  therefore 
removed  —  my  father  recovered,  as  will  be  seen  in  the 
following  letter. 

39,  Roe  Longue,  Ffh.  28,  1838. 
My  dear  Wright, 

The  books  per  Stewardess  arrived  in  port  Monday 
night,  but  are  not  delivered  yet,  thanks  to  that  folly  the 
Carnival,  which  plagues  other  houses  besides  the  Customs. 
In  Coblenz  it  was  kept  up  by  the  tradesmen.  Here  it  is 
the  Saturnalia  of  the  lowest  class.  They  have  been 
roaring  about  the  streets  all  the  two  last  nights,  our  ser- 
vant no  doubt  among  them.  She  applied  to  be  out  two 
whole  nights  running  ( how  your  wife  will  lift  up  her 


278  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

eyes!),  and  insisting  it  was  the  custom  of  the  place,  we 
could  not  refuse.  She  masqueraded,  too,  as  a  broom-girl. 
The  first  night  she  got  her  mask  torn,  and  to-day,  after 
her  second  night,  can  hardly  crawl  with  a  swelled  foot  — 
maybe  from  a  fight,  nobody  knows  what,  but  it  has  given 
me  quite  a  disgust.  Neither  Germans  nor  Flemings 
ought  to  Carnivalise  —  though  the  Germans  have  one 
advantage.  I  have  heard  very  good  singing  in  parts 
from  the  common  people  about  Coblenz,  but  never  did  I 
hear  such  howling  and  croaking  as  here.  They  beat  our 
ballad-singers  in  London  all  to  sticks. 

Now  I  think  of  it,  was  there  ever  a  Flemish  singer  of 
any  celebrity  ?  I  do  not  recollect  one.  How  Rooke 
would  enjoy  "  Amalie's  "  popularity  in  Ostend  !  Shall  I 
send  him  over  a  Flemish  Rainer  Family?  It  would  be 
at  least  a  novelty.  Murphy  seems  done  vp  lately  ;  but 
his  very  style,  full  of  long  mazy  sentences,  is  quackish, 
and  seems  purposely  mystified.  I  have  thought  of  two 
cuts  for  him.  Low  Irish,  with  pots  and  sacks,  looking 
out  for  a  "  shower  of  Murphy's ; "  and  "  the  prophet  a 
little  OM^,"  {.  e.  caught  in  a  shower  without  his  umbrella. 
I  think  he  does  n't  understand  the  Pour  Laws. 

No  local  news,  only  another  bloodless  duel  at  Bruges. 
I  have  hopes  our  frost  has  gone  —  I  noted  some  wild 
geese  yesterday  going  back  to  the  "  nor'ard,"  and  every 
one  of  them  is  a  Murphy.  Give  my  kind  regards  to 
everybody  —  I  can't  stop  to  enumerate,  ray  head  is  so 
full  of  "  My  Own."  Take  care  of  yourself,  and  when 
you  dine,  don't  leave  off'  hungry  —  leave  off"  dry,  if  you 
like.     I  am,  dear  Wright, 

Yours  very  truly, 

Thomas  Hood. 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  279 

In  this  spring  Mr.  Lewis  came  over  to  paint  the  pic- 
ture which  forms  the  frontispiece  to  "  Hood's  Own." 
The  likeness  was  an  excellent  one. 

OsTEND,  Ajml  5,  1838. 

Mt  dear  "Wkight, 
I  have  just  received  "  Hood's  Own,"  and  it  looks  like 
a  good  number.  The  cuts  come  capitally,  including 
Scott's,  which  is  a  great  acquisition.  I  am  satisfied  in 
print  with  the  EUand  article  and  Grimaldi  :  I  had  partly 
written  some  verses  for  the  latter,  but  luckily  did  not 
risk  going  on  with  them,  or  all  might  have  hitched.  It 
was  not  my  fault  but  my  misfortune,  for  I  had  been  fin- 
ishing the  Elland  article  all  night  in  bed,  and  was  copy- 
ing out  the  Murphy  when  the  last  minute  arrived  for  the 
mail.  I  did  afterwards  hope  you  would  guess  the  case, 
and  "  take  the  very  bold,  daring,  presumptuous  liberty," 
perhaps,  of  getting  the  ghost  off  the  stage  as  you  could, 
I  have  read  of  one,  that  would  not  go  off,  being  hustled 
away  by  the  performers.  But  bygones  must  be  bygones ; 
it  might  have  been  worse.  There  are  better  than  two 
sheets  of  a  "  Comic  Annual."  I  was  shocked  to  see  no 
more  advertisements,  and  parodying  a  note  of  B 's. 


I  might  write  "I  am  not  the  man  to  say  Die"  —  but, 
by  the  Lord  Harry,  you  must  get  me  fresh  adverti.-e- 
ments ;  that  will  give  me  fresh  vigour  to  work  on  the 
letter-press  and  cuts  !  By  the  way,  as  you  say,  the 
notices  get  very  frequent  and  favourable  ;  they  ought 
to  be  saved,  as  it  might  be  advisable  to  print  them  some 
day  in  an  advertisement,  as  they  did  formerly  witii 
the  Athenaeum.     A  thing  that  gets  frequent  and  favour- 


280       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

able  notices  onght  to  move,  if  properly  pushed.     Has 

B done  anything  abroad  ?     Brussels  is  particularly 

full,  —  Paris,  —  America.  —  There  are  plenty  of  Eng- 
lish to  buy  cheap  books,  and  with  so  many  cuts,  it  cannot 
be  pirated.  I  do  not  think  the  field  has  been  even 
yet  properly  beaten,  and  the  one-shilling  book  is  the 
very  thing  where  a  twelve-shilling  one  would  not  do. 

For  the  next  Number,  I  propose  "  Hieroglyphical 
Hints," — a  paper  on  the  dismissal  of  the  yeomanry 
with  the  old  "  Unfavourable  Review,"  that  you  had 
a  hand  in  turning  into  a  libel  on  Mrs.  Somebody  and 
her  close  carriage.  I  think  of  writing  something  from 
a  black  footman  on  the  Emancipation  question. 


I  get  my  papers  very  irregularly.  For  instance, 
I  have  not  yet  had  last  Sunday's  "Dispatch."  This 
is  bad,  and  might  be  very  unfortunate,  as  in  the  charge 

against  me  of  plagiarism.     Pray  tell  B to  blow  up 

that  "  d d  boy  that  puts  papers  in  the  wrong  box," 

and  please  then  desire  said  boy  to  row  his  master 
for  sending  wrong  advertisements.     I  mention  this  for 

B 's  sake,  as  well  as  my  own,  because  he  must  be 

badly  seconded  in  other  cases  as  well  as  mine. 

I  am  quite  satisfied  and  pleased  with  your  arrange- 
ment of  No.  3,  and  only  regret,  my  good  fellow,  I  have 
to  give  you  so  much  extra  trouble.  Do  go  out  of  town 
and  refresh!  Poor  llooke !  How  Anialic's  nose  is  put 
out  of  joint!  for  of  course  you  will  now  sing  nothing 
about  Herts,  Essex,  Middlesex,  and  Kent,  but  "This 
is  my  eldest  daughter,  Sir!"     Take  care  of  her  now 


MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  281 

you  have  got  her,  at  last.  Some  infants  are  squatted 
on,  like  the  "  spoiled  child."  *  Mind,  and  whenever 
Mrs.  "Wright  looks  fatigued  and  sedentary,  take  care 
to  hand  her  a  chair.  Now  and  then,  a  child  is  turned 
up  with  a  bedstead,  but  that  could  not  happen,  if  the 
maids  slept  in  hammocks.  Mind  how  you  nurse  her 
yourself.  Never  toss  her  up  unless  you  are  quite  certain 
of  catching  her,  a  butter-fingered  father  might  become 
wretched  for  life  in  a  moment.  Don't  let  her  go  up 
in  your  study  among  the  wild  young  men.  What  do 
you  think  of  her  for  our  Tom?  Don't  give  her  a 
precocious  taste  for  lots  o'  daffy ;  or  a  box  at  the  Opera. 
You  ought   to  know  better  than  dream  of  operatising, 

yourself  such   an   invalid.      I   have   never   d d   or 

t d  out  since  at  Ostend,  and  am  going,  to-morrow, 

for  the  first  time,  but  only  to  my  doctor's,  and  if  any- 
thing happens,  he  will  be  at  hand. 

How  do  all  the  boys  like  the  Gal  ?  Poor  things !  I 
never  knew  a  dozen  brothers,  but  one  sister  managed 
to  tyrannise  over  'em  all.  Have  you  got  a  dictionary 
name  yet?  If  I  might  propose,  I  should  say  christen 
her  "  Mary  "WoUstonecraft,"  as  the  supporter  of  Female 
Wrights  ! 

You  must  not  be  out  of  heart  about  your  cough,  —  of 
late  years  the  spring  has  brought  an  almost  certain  influ- 
enza in  England  as  elsewhere.  Easterly  damp  winds 
are  the  cause.  I  have  been  teazingly  coughing,  and 
Jane  is  wheezy,  but  what  proves  it  to  be  injluenzial, 
is   that  Tom,  Junior,  is  as   hoarse  as   a  crow.      How 

*  One  of  the  cuts  in  "  Wliims  and  Oddities,"  engraved  by  Wright. 
—  T.  H. 


282  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

should  we  weak  ones  hope  then  to  escape  !  For  he  is 
a  young  horse  for  strength,  and  indeed,  has  adopted 
from  "  Nimrod's  Sporting,"  the  name  of  "  Plenipoten- 
tiary ! " 

There  is  a  genteel  blot,  as  the  clerk  said,  on  my  scutch- 
eon. That  comes  of  foreign  paper.  Jane,  at  the  other 
side  of  the  table,  is  grumbling  at  it  too.  Thanks  for  the 
fishing-tackle,  —  all  right,  —  and  gone  to  Bromberg.  I 
wish  the  Prince  Radziwills  would  go  to  the  Coronation 
and  bring  Franck  with  them.  But,  no !  Prussia,  and 
Russia,  the  two  great  enemies  of  England,  are  to  col- 
league together  in  a  family  party  instead.  There  is  a 
great  conspiracy  there,  or  I  'm  mistaken,  but  it  will  fall 
through,  —  say  I  Murphy'd  it.  For  Mrs.  "Wright's  bene- 
fit, I  must  tell  you  now,  the  finis  of  our  maid,  Mar3\ 
She  insisted  on  two  whole  nights'  leave  at  the  Carnival, 
as  being  customary,  and  came  home  each  morning  be- 
tween seven  and  eight,  so  done  up  she  could  hardly  stand. 
At  last,  one  evening  there  came  by  a  jolly,  roaring,  set  of 
Carnivalites  that  quite  set  her  agog  the  moment  she 
heard  the  singing,  if  it  might  be  called  so !  She  took 
leave  instanter,  came  home  next  morning,  jaded  to  death, 
and  had  occasion  to  take  some  soda  !  Of  course  we  paid 
her  off  on  the  spot,  and  have  since  learned  she  used  to 
persecute  a  waiter  we  called  Cheeks  (ask  Lewis  about 
him),  and  go  out  on  the  sly,  and  drink  brandy-and-water 
with  him.  Slie  was  seen  at  the  Carnival  with  petticoats 
up  to  her  knees,  bare-legged  and  be-ribboned,  in  the 
character  of  a  broom-girl.  Won't  Mrs.  Wriglit  bless  her 
stars  there  is  no  Carnival  in  England  ?  Greenwich  fair 
is  next  to  it  as  performed  here.     And  even  the  respec- 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  283 

table  people  join  in  it,  the  tradespeople  and  all,  and  the 
children  of  the  gentry  go  about  in  character,  —  some  of 
the  banker's  here  did,  for  example.  By  the  bye,  did  I 
ever  tell  you  of  an  incident  the  other  day.  There  was 
going  to  be  a  grand  religious  procession,  and  a  fine  gilded 
car,  or  chariot  containing  a  figure  of  the  Virgin,  which 
was  to  be  filled  with  angels,  represented  by  children  with 
spangled  wings,  &c.,  and  our  landlord,  who  was  engaged 
in  preparation  for  it,  came  to  borrow  Tom  for  an  angel  I 
Just  fancy  Jane's  great  horror  and  indignation,  —  I  could 
hardly  appease  her  by  suggesting  that  it  was  a  compli- 
ment to  his  good  looks.* 

And  now,  I  must  shut  up :  I  will  send  as  much  and  as 

often  as  I  can.     Give  my  comps.  to  B ,  and  tell  him 

to  get  a  whole  No.  of  advertisements.  Seriously,  we 
must  both  stir  our  stumps,  and  I  do  my  best.  What 
would  he  say  now  the  Copyright  Bill  is  coming  on  again, 
to  reprinting  my  letters  as  a  pamphlet,  as  proposed  be- 
fore? 

What  would  n't  I  do  if  I  had  health  and  bodily 
strength  ?  Pray  for  that  when  you  pray  for  me,  for 
without  it,  what  a  clog  to  one's  wheel ! 

And  now,  God  bless  you  and  yours,  including  Miss 
Wright  —  only  think  of  a  mile  of  daughters !  there  is  a 
family  of  Furlongs  coming  to  live  here,  whereof  eight 
are  daugliters  —  8  furlongs  =  1  mile. 

*  I  confess  I  shed  some  "  natural  tears  "  at  being  denied  a  chance 
of  wings.  When  tlie  procession  did  come  off,  I  remember,  the  har- 
mony of  the  car  was  not  exemplary,  for  the  angels  were  all  "  fallen  " 
to  fisticuffs,  like  a  lot  of  little  Benicia  Boys  and  girls,  or  Hee-nans  and 
She-nans.  —  T.  H. 


284       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

Give  my  kind  remembrances  to  all  friends  of  ours,  and 
believe  me, 

Dear  "Wright, 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Tuos.  Hood, 

Two  more  commissions !  What  a  bother  I  am ;  but 
would  you  let  somebody  inquire  where  to  get  it,  and  send 
me  two  packets  of  vaccine  matter  by  the  stewardess  next 
Saturday,  and  a  German  grammar  for  Fanny,  with 
plenty  of  exercises  for  young  beginners ;  and  pray  thank 
E.  Smith  kindly  for  the  seeds  he  was  soiv  kind  as  to  send. 
Is  anybody  coming  out  a  IMaying  ? 

39,  EuE  LoNGUE,  July  3, 1838. 

My  dear  "Wright, 
I  was  disappointed  at  not  receiving  the  "  Hood's  Own" 
per  Liverpool,  not  from  eagerness  to  see  the  dear  origi- 
nal's reflection,  but  I  was  anxious  to  see  how  the  Intro- 
duction read.  I  have  seen  it  partly  in  to-day's  "  Athe- 
naeum," and  it  reads  decently  well.  I  shall  want  a* 
"  Progress  of  Cant,"  and  also  some  old  "  London  Maga- 
zines" from  J.  H.  R.  I  am  struggling  to  get  early  this 
month  with  my  matter  so  as  to  give  you  as  little  trouble 
as  possible.     The  weather  has  been  up  to  to-day  very 

*  This  was  a  large  outline  etching,  caricaturing  all  the  htimbugs  of 
the  day.  Some  of  the  figures  are  worthy  of  Hogarth  —  and  tlie  hits 
arc  felicitous  to  a  degree  —  f(jr  instance,  tlie  stout  parson,  with  liis  fla"' 
"  No  fat  livings,"  in  close  proximity  with  one  inscribed  "  Tlie  Cause 
of  Greece,"  —  or  the  batnier  of  the  pious  harljcr,  "  No  Person  is  to  be 
Shaved  during  Divine  Service,"  wherein  au  unlucky  rent  robs 
"shaved"  of  its  "L."  — T.  II. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  285 

SO-SO.  I  have  had  only  one  sail,  and  it  did  me  such  man- 
ifest good,  that  I  quite  long  to  get  to  sea  again,  but  either 
there  is  no  wind,  or  rain  with  it.  You  will  be  glad  to 
hear  I  am  getting  better  slowly.  I  wish,  my  dear  fellow, 
you  may  be  able  to  give  as  good  an  account  of  yourself. 
Pray  send  me  a  full  and  particular  bulletin.  And,  in  the 
meantime,  please  to  present  my  best  thanks  to  Mrs. 
Wright  for  the  cane,  and  tell  her  it  is  quite  a  support.  I 
seem  to  walk  miles  with  it. 

*  *  *  * 

Did  I  give  you  the  history  of  a  steamer  built  at 
Bruges  ?  They  quite  forgot  how  she  was  to  get  down 
the  canal,  and  they  will  have  to  take  down  the  brick- 
work of  the  locks  at  a  great  expense  —  some  loOO  francs 
instead  of  25 ;  all  along  of  her  width  of  paddle-boxes. 
Well,  the  other  day,  10,000  people  assembled  to  see  her 
launched  ;  troops,  band,  municipals,  everybody  in  their 

best;  and    above    all    Mr.    T ,   the    owner,   in  blue 

jacket,  white  trousers,  and  straw  hat.  So  he  knocked 
away  the  props  and  then  ran  as  for  his  life,  for  she  ought 
to  have  followed  ;  but,  instead  of  that,  she  stuck  to  the 
stocks  as  if  she  had  the  hydrophobia.  Then  they  got 
200  men  to  run  from  side  to  side,  and  fired  cannons  from 
her  stern,  and  hauled  by  hawsers,  but  "  there  she  sot," 
and  the  people  "  sot,"  till  nine  at  night,  and  then  gave  it 
up.  She  has  since  been  launched  somehow,  but  in  a  quiet 
A\ay  quite;  she  looked  at  first  very  like  an  investment  in 
the  stocks,  and  I  should  fear  her  propensity  may  lead  her 
next  to  stick  on  a  hank.  The  only  comfort  I  could  give, 
Avas,  that  she  promised  to  be  very  fast.     To  heighten  the 


286  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

fun,  the  wine  was  chucked  at  her  by  a  young  lady  who 
thought  she  was  going ;  I  know  not  what  wine,  but  it 
ought  to  have  been  still  champagne. 

And  now,  God  bless  you  and  yours,  take  care  of  your- 
self, and  mind  and  send  us  an  account  of  how  you  feel, 
and  what  your  doctor  says  of  you.  The  vicissitudes  of 
such  weather  try  us  feeble  ones.  I  am  anxious  to  know 
whether  you  think  your  new  doctor's  course  has  pro- 
duced any  marked  effect.     Don't  B mean  to  come, 

or  don't  he  not  ?     If  he  and  Mr.  S would  make  the 

trip  together,  it  might  be  pleasanter,  and  we  have  ac- 
commodation for  two,  and  especially  a  tall  one  for  B , 

for  whom  an  accommodation  bed  ought  to  be  like  an 
accommodation  bill  —  the  longer  it  runs,  the  better. 
When  you  see  Rooke,  pray  thank  him  handsomely  in 
my  name  for  "  Amalie  "  —  though  I  do  not  quite  find  the 

airs  suit  my  compass.    What  Jane  has  said  about  F 

please  to  make  me  a  partner  in  —  and  tell  E.  Smith 
that  our  Sandy  soil  has  Scotched  the  flowers,  so  that  he 
would  n't  know  them  for  his  seedlings.  But  Jane  is  very 
proud  of  them,  as  they  are  very  good  for  Ostend.  Our 
festival  of  Kermesse  has  begun,  and  will  continue  for  a 
fortnight,  and  then  we  are  to  have  the  King  and  Queen 
next  month,  when  your  royal  gaieties  are  over  and  gone. 
What  does  Dymock  think  of  being  cut  out  of  the  pa- 
geant ?  I  suppose  he  will  pretend  that  he  "  backed  out." 
I  shall  try  if  I  cannot  have  a  verse  or  two  about  the  Cor- 
onation. I  went  to  know  if  any  distinction  was  shown 
to  Art,  Science,  or  Literature  on  the  occasion.  Was 
the  P.  R.  A.  there  ?  Had  the  live  Poets  admissions  to 
the  Corner  ?     What  became  of  the  V.  R.  at  the  Prus- 


MEMOIUALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  287 

sian  ambassador's  ?  He  seemed  only  to  compliment 
Frederick  William  with  initials.  How  wonderfully  well 
the  mob  behaved ;  but  then,  to  be  sure,  they  are  not 
Tories !     I  am  glad  they  cheered  Soult. 

And  now  I  must  shut  up,  and  believe  me,  dear  Wright, 
Yours  ever  vei*y  sincerely, 

Thos.  Hood. 

39,  Rue  Longue,  X  Ostend,  July  3, 1838. 
I  SAY  Tim, 

If  you  are  dead,  write  and  say  so ;  and  if  not,  pray 
let  me  hear  from  you.  Perhaps  you  were  killed  at  the 
taking  of  Spandau  —  or  are  you  married  —  or  what 
other  mortality  has  happened  to  you  ?  or  have  you  had 
the  worst  of  a  duel  —  or  taken  a  fancy  to  the  Russians 
and  gone  to  St.  Petersburg  ?  Perhaps  some  very  great 
"  Wels "  has  pulled  you  in  —  or  have  you  been  to 
Antonin  ? 

The  chief  purport  of  this  letter  is  to  inquire  about 
you,  so  you  must  not  look  for  a  long  one  —  but  we  are 
getting  uneasy,  or  rather  too  uneasy  to  bear  any  longer 
your  silence  —  fearing  that  in  the  unsettled  state  of  Prus- 
sian and  Belgian  relations,  the  intercourse  may  have 
become  precarious. 

I  sent  you  a  box  containing  your  fishing-tackle,  a 
"  Comic,"  some  numbers  of  "  Hood's  Own,"  and  the 
sporting  plates,  which  I  calculated  ought  to  reach  Brom- 
berg  about  the  20th  of  April.  It  was  directed  to  Lieut. 
von   Franck,  19th   Infanterie    Regiment,  Brombcrg   en 


Prusse,  with  the  mark    \    hi 


288  MEMOEIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

I  paid  the  carriage  to  Cologne,  and  sent  a  proper  dec- 
laration of  the  contents.  Jane,  at  the  same  time,  wrote 
per  post  to  announce  it,  with  an  especial  request  for  an 
acknowledgment  of  its  arrival ;  so  that  we  begin  to  fear 
that  neither  the  box  nor  the  epistle  has  reached  its  des- 
tination :  pray  write  and  let  us  know ;  because,  in  case 
THE  case  has  stuck  at  Cologne,  I  will  write  from  here, 
and  you  send  inquiries  for  it  from  thei-e,  i.  e.,  Bromberg. 

"We  are  going  on  as  usual.  I  am  getting  better,  but 
slowly;  my  monthly  work,  and  the  very  bad  season, 
having  been  against  me.  I  shall  be  better  when  I  get  to 
sea,  but  till  last  week  I  have  been  unable  to  boat  it ;  we 
have  had  fires  within  the  last  ten  days.  Springs  are,  I 
suspect,  going  out  of  fashion  with  black  stocks.  Jane 
and  the  '  kin '  were  on  board  with  me,  and  I  wish  you 
could  have  seen  the  faces  and  heard  the  uproar  they 
made.  It  was  an  ugly,  long,  narrow  craft  enough,  for  a 
short  sea;  three  lubberly  Flemings  for  a  jcrew,  and 
myself  at  the  helm.  Jane  groaned  and  grimaced,  and 
ejaculated,  and  scolded  me,  till  she  frightened  the  two 
children,  who  piped  in  chorus.  Tom,  like  a  parish  clerk, 
repeating  after  his  mother,  with  the  whine  of  a  charity 
boy  in  the  litany,  "  Oh,  Lord ! "  &c.  &c.,  and  then  very 
fiercely,  "  Take  me  home  —  set  me  ashore  directly ! 
Oh,  I  'II  never  come  out  with  you  again  !  "  and  so  forth. 
So  we  have  parted  with  mutual  consent,  so  far  as  sailing 
is  concerned,  which  is  very  hard,  as  I  cannot  lake  out 
any  other  ladies  without  Jane,  the  place  being  rather  apt 
to  talk  scandal,  —  and  one  of  our  female  friends  here  is 
very  fond  of  boating.  For  my  own  part,  I  have  been 
lucky  enough  to  get  a  capital  little  boat,  built  under  the 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  289 

care  of  an  old  English  shipmaster,  and  his  property  — 
all  snug,  safe,  and  handy  —  so  that  I  mean  to  enjoy 
myself  as  a  marine. 

In  the  meantime,  Jane  has  made  a  voyage  to  England 
and  back,  which  I  shall  let  her  relate.  She  had  fair 
weather  out  and  home,  and  prefers  a  dead  calm  to  a  liv- 
ing storm.  I  suppose  I  must  take  to  sea-fishing,  as  there 
is  some  fresh-water  fishing,  but  the  canals  are  too  much 
of  thoroughfares  to  my  taste,  who  enjoy  the  contemplative 
man's  recreation  —  only  with  one  companion.  I  some- 
times wish  for  the  Lahn. 

It  was  odd  enough  —  but  on  our  return  from  Bruges 
fair  in  the  barge,  an  English  family  came  with  us  on 
their  way  from  Coblenz,  where  they  settled  in  the  Schloss 
Strasse  just  before  we  left.  He  gave  the  same  account 
of  the  people  as  I  do,  and  was  a  fisherman  —  but  caught 
nothing  but  dace. 

England  is  all  alive  now  with  the  Coronation.  Why 
did  you  not  egg  on  one  of  the  Prince  Radziwills  to  visit 
Her  Majesty  via  Belgium,  with  yourself  in  his  sweet. 
I  read  the  other  day  that  some  of  the  30th  were  coming 
to  Luxemburg.  When  our  railroad  shall  be  finished,  it 
will  only  be  two  days'  post  from  Cologne  to  this  —  and  I 
have  just  taken  my  lodgings  for  another  year — Verhum 
sap. 

AVe  expect  several  guests  this  summer  from  Eng- 
land—  one  of  Jane's  sisters  and  a  daughter  amongst 
the  rest  —  and  we  know  a  few  people  here  —  but  the 
majority  are  not  worth  knowing,  being  of  the  scamp 
genus. 

We  still  have  an   undiminished  liking  to  the  place, 

VOL.    I.  13  3 


290  MEiMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD. 

■which  suits  our  quiet  "domestic  habits,"  though  it  is 
notorious  as  dull,  amongst  the  notoriously  gay. 

"We  know  enough  to  be  able  to  get  up  a  rubber  when 
we  feel  inclined,  besides  "  taking  our  three."  I  get  ex- 
cellent Bordeaux  here,  and  bought  a  cask  with  my  Doc- 
tor, only  thirteen  or  fourteen  pence  English  per  flask, 
whereof  on  the  last  23rd  May,  I  did  quaff  one  whole 
bottle  out  of  a  certain*  Bohemian  Goblet  to  my  own 
health,  not  forgetting  the  donor  of  the  said  vessel,  which 
has  a  i^lace  of  honour  in  my  sanctum. 

What  a  bore  it  is,  Johnny,  that  you  are  not  in  the  Bel- 
gian service ;  most  of  its  garrisons  are  near,  it  would  be 
but  a  holiday  trip  to  come  and  see  you.  Were  I,  as  I 
once  was,  strong  enough  for  travel,  I  should  perhaps  beat 
you  up  even  at  Brombei'g  via  Hamburg.  But  I  shall 
never  be  strong  again  —  Jane  got  the  verdict  of  our 
friend  Dr.  Elliot,  that  the  danger  of  the  case  was  gone,  but 
that  as  I  had  never  been  particularly  strong  and  stui'dy, 
I  must  not  now  ex2")ect  to  be  more  than  a  young  old 
gentleman.  But  I  will  be  a  boy  as  long  as  I  can  in  mind 
and  spirits,  only  the  troublesome  bile  is  apt  to  upset  my 
temper  now  and  then.  We  are  all  a  little  rabid  at  pres- 
ent, for  after  having  fires  far  into  June,  the  weather  has 
just  set  in  broiling  hot,  and  the  children  do  not  know 
what  to  make  of  it. 


*  Tliis  is  a  large  Bohemian  glass  goblet,  of  white  glass,  clear  as 
crystal  and  without  a  flaw,  decorated  with  amethyst  medallions, 
and  bunches  of  flowers.  The  shape  is  graceful,  and  it  was  highly 
l)rized  by  my  father  as  the  gift  of  Franck,  who  brought  it  from 
I'.ohemia.  If  I  remember  rightly  ho  purchased  it  of  the  gipsies, 
who  engraved  the  flowers.  —  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  291 

The  faces  of  Tom  and  Fanny  are  like  two  full-blown 
peonies,  or  two  cubs  of  the  brood  of  the  Red  Lion.  Tom 
is  a  very  funny  fellow.  The  people  of  the  house  try  to 
talk  to  him,  and  as  they  speak  very  bad  English,  he 
seems  to  think  that  they  cannot  understand  very  good 
ditto,  and  accordingly  mimics  them  to  the  life.  You 
would  think  he  was  a  foreigner  himself  when  he  is  talk- 
ing to  them.  Fanny  is  learning  German  and  French, 
and  makes  up  by  her  quickness  for  some  idleness. 

She  is  very  much  improved,  and  gets  stouter,  as  she 
was  too  thin,  whilst  Tom  gets  thinner,  as  he  was  too  fat ; 
as  for  Jane,  all  my  London  friends  said  she  had  never 
looked  better,  so  that  I  doubt  the  policy  of  walking  out 
with  her,  for  it  makes  me  look  worse  than  I  am. 

You  will  judge  when  I  send  you  a  proof  of  my  por- 
trait, which  is  to  be  in  the  next  number  of  "  Hood's 
Own,"  on  the  1st  July.     It  is  said  to  be  very  like. 

I  have  no  news  to  give  you ;  but  there  are  plenty  of 
rumours.  Of  course  you  were  at  the  grand  review  at 
Berlin.  Tell  me  all  the  particulars  you  can,  and  of  your 
fishing,  in  which  I  take  great  interest,  though  now  but  a 
sleeping  partner.  I  quote  at  the  end  of  this  a  few  words 
about  Salmon.  I  expect  a  friend  out  here  on  a  visit, 
who  is  very  fond  of  the  rod.  By  the  bye,  I  must  not 
forget  to  tell  you,  that  the  other  day,  which  proves  there 
must  be  some  sort  of  fishing,  my  Doctor  was  called  out 
of  his  bed  in  the  morning  by  an  Englishman,  who  mum- 
bled very  much,  and  on  going  to  the  door,  found  him 
with  a  hook,  and  not  a  little  one,  through  his  own  lip. 
He  had  been  tying  it  on  by  help  of  his  teeth,  and  by  a 
slip  of  the  line  had  caught  himself,  genus  Jlat  fish.    Being 


292 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 


a  Belgian  hook,  like  the  German,  with  the  shoulder  at 
one  end  and  a  barb  at  the  other,  it  would  not  pull  through  ; 
but  had  to  be  cut  out.  Lucky  he  had  not  gorged  it.  My 
leaf  is  full,*  so  God  bless  you  says. 

Yours,  Tim, 

Ever  very  truly, 

Johnny. 
Kind  regards  to  Wildegans. 

Tom,  Junior,  sends  his  love  to  you  and  Carlovicz  and 
Wildegans.  He  said  to  his  mother  this  morning,  "  I  love 
you  a  gi'eat  way ; "  so  he  can  love  as  far  as  Bromberg. 
It  has  just  occurred  to  me,  that  there  may  be  a  reason 
for  your  silence  I  never  thought  of  before.  You  are 
promoted  and  in  the  first  pomp  of  your  captainship,  and 


too  proud  to  own  to  us  privates.  If  that  is  not  the  reason, 
I  can  think  of  no  other  with  all  my  powers  of  imagina- 
tion. Perhaps  it  is  your  D  —  Douane  that  always  both- 
ered my  own  packages.     I  hate  all   Customs,  and  not 


«  The  other  leaf  was  left  for  my  mother  to  write  on.  —  T.  U. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  293 

least  the  Prussian.  I  wish  all  the  officers  would  confis- 
cate each  other.  Sometimes  this  hot  weather,  I  should 
like  a  glass  of  Rudesheimer,  one  of  the  few  things  I  care 
for  that  is  Rhenish  —  Bow,  wow,  wow  ! 

The  next  is  to  Mr  Franck,  who  had  been  laid  up  at 
Posen,  and  had  had  his  head  shaved. 

OsTEXD,  August  20th,  1837. 

Mt  dear  Franck, 
I  have  been  laid  up  again,  but  this  you  will  say  is  no 
news,  it  happens  so  often.  A  sort  of  bastard  gout,  with- 
out the  consolation  of  being  the  regular  aristocratic  mal- 
ady, as  if  I  were  an  aristocrat.  By  the  way,  I  almost 
rejoice  politically  in  the  results  of  your  own  illness,  you 
were  always  an  abominable  Tory,  but  now  must  needs  be 
a  moderate  wig.     But  as  Gray  says : 

"  To  each  their  evils  —  all  are  men 
Condemn'd  alike  to  groan." 

You  (to  speak  as  a  fisherman)  complain  of  your  hair 
line,  and  I  of  my  gut,  which  I  fear  has  some  very  weak 
lengths  in  it.  I  hardly  go  ten  days  without  some  dis- 
agreeable indiorestion  or  other,  which  is  the  more  annoy- 
ing  as  here  the  victuals  are  really  good.  Moreover,  I  am, 
in  a  moderate  way,  a  diner-out ;  for  instance,  the  day  be- 
fore yesterday,  at  the  Count  de  Melfort's,  whom  I  had 
known  previously  by  his  book,  the  only  one  that  ever  co- 
incided with  my  Views  of  the  Rhine. 

In  fact,  in  spite  of  keeping  quiet,  I  am  a  little  sought 
after  here,  now  I  am  found  out.     A  friend  of  Byron's 


294  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

wanted  to  know  me  the  other  day,  but  I  was  laid  up  in 
bed ;  and  now  Long  Wellesley  (Duke  of  Wellington's 
nephew),  my  old  landlord  is  here,  and  asking  after  me. 
Luckily,  there  are  so  many  lame  men  here,  I  am  not  sin- 
gular in  my  hobble,  for  though  I  have  got  rid  of  the 
rheumatism  these  ten  days,  the  doctor  gave  me  a  lotion 
with  cantharides  therein,  that  has  left  me  a  legacy  of  blis- 
ters. Then  again  what  an  abominable  swindling  season ! 
The  winter  embezzled  the  spring,  and  the  summer  has 
absconded  with  the  autumn. 

A  fig  for  such  seasoning,  when  the  summer  has  no 
Cayenne,  and  in  July  even  you  wish  for  your  ices,  a  little 
mulled.  I  have  only  managed  to  keep  up  my  circulation 
by  dint  of  sherry,  porter,  and  gin  and  water ;  and  nine 
times  out  of  ten,  had  it  come  to  a  shaking,  I  should  have 
given  but  a  cold  right  hand.  That  is  one  of  my  symp- 
toms. In  the  meantime  the  Belgians  are  bathing  daily, 
but  I  observe  they  huddle  together,  men  and  women,  for 
the  sake  of  warmth,  at  some  expense  to  what  we  con- 
sider decency.  As  for  Jane  she  is  very  willing  to  believe 
that  winter  is  absolutely  setting  in,  as  an  excuse  for  wear- 
ing her  sables.*  They  are  very  handsome,  but  no  thanks 
to  you  on  my  part,  considering  a  hint  tliat  I  have  had, 
that  it  is  a  dress  only  fit  for  a  carriage !  I  don't  mean, 
however,  to  go  so  fur  as  to  set  up  a  wheelbarrow.  Many 
thanks,  however,  for  your  views  of  our  old  piscatory 
haunts,  which  cannot  lead  one  into  any  extravagance,  for 
here  there  is  no  fishing.     It  is  another  Posen  in  that  re- 

*  Mr.  Franck  had  sent  my  mother  a  very  handsome  set  of  sables. 
After  her  return  to  England,  she  was  so  unfortunate  as  to  lose  all  that 
were  not  stolen,  within  an  incredibly  short  space  of  time.  —  T.  H. 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  295 

spect  —  but  mind,  do  not  go  and  marry  for  want  of  better 
amusement.  Talking  of  aquatics,  a  pretty  discussion 
you  have  got  me  into  by  your  story  of  the  beavers  on  the 
Elbe.  I  have  repeated  it,  and  been  thought  a  dupe  for 
my  pains  —  indeed,  I  began  to  believe  you  had  hoaxed 
me,  but  only  this  afternoon  I  have  found  a  Confirmation 
of  the  Baptism  in  a  book  of  Natural  History. 

In  the  Berlin  Transactions  of  the  Natural  History  So- 
ciety, 1829,  is  an  account  of  a  family  of  beavers,  settled 
for  upwards  of  a  century  on  a  little  river  called  the  Nuthe, 
half  a  league  above  its  confluence  with  the  Elbe,  in  a  se- 
questered part  of  the  district  of  Magdeburg.     There  ! 
To  be  candid,  I  always  thought  you  mistook  for  beavers 
the  Herren  Hutters,  or  gentlemen  who  always  wear  their 
castors.     But  why  talk  of  keeping  on  one's  hat  to  a  man, 
who  can  hardly  keep  on  his  own  hair?     Methinks  in- 
stead of  sables  you  ought  to  have  bought  of  the  Russian 
merchant  a  live  beai-,  to  eat  up  the  little  boys  that  will 
run  after  you,  as  they  did  after  Elisha,  crying  "  Go  up, 
thou  baldhead  ! "     Of  course  the  Radziwills,  who  made 
you  so  retrench  your  moustaches,  will  be  quite  content 
with  you  now ;  but  I  hope  you  will  not  slack  in  your  cor- 
respondence in  consequence,  although  I  must  expect  to 
have  more  balderdash  out  of  your  own  head.     As  for 
Wildegans,  he  will  forget  that  you   ever  had  any  hair, 
and  will  take  you  for  some  very  old  friend  of  his  father's, 
or  perhaps  for  his  grandfather. 

For  my  own  part,  as  promotion  goes  by  seniority  in 
your  service,  I  do  hope  you  may  have  an  opportunity  of 
taking  off  your  hat  to  the  king,  who  caimot  make  any- 
thing less  than  a  major  of  such  a  veteran.     In  the  mean- 


296-  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

time  jou  cannot  be  better  off  than  in  the  19th,  which  has 
so  many  Poles  to  keep  yours  in  countenance  ;  you  see 
how  little  sympathy  I  profess,  but  having  fancied  you 
killed,  wounded,  or  missing,  in  some  riotous  outbreak,  I 
can  very  well  bear  the  loss  of  your  lochs,  as  you  are  upon 
the  hey  vive ! 

Moreover  sickness  is  selfish,  and  invalids  never  feel 
acutely  for  each  other. 

The  only  feeling  I  have  on  hearing  of  another  patient 
in  the  town,  is  a  wish,  that,  whilst  about  it,  he  would  take 
all  my  physic.  When  I  can  make  up  a  parcel  worth 
sending  you,  you  shall  have  a  copy  of  my  face,  to  hang 
on  the  gallows  for  a  deserter,  if  you  like.  Tim,  says  he, 
either  I  shall  get  over  this  liver  complaint,  and  be  a 
portly  body,  or  the  liver  complaint  ^^^ll  get  over  me,  and 
I  shall  die  like  a  Strasbourg  goose.  How  lucky  I  should 
have  a  decent  interval  of  health  for  that  march  to  Ber- 
lin !  I  often  recall  it,  Tim,  trumpet-call  and  all,  and  wish 
you  were  one  of  our  military. 

I  do  not  know  how  the  Belgian  question  goes  on,  but 
would  not  advise  you  to  attack  us,  for  in  case  of  a  re- 
verse, your  Rhinelanders  are  not  the  firmest  of  friends  to 
fall  back  upon.  Your  Posen  Bishop  is  a  donkey  for  his 
pains ;  a  Needle,  if  it  enters  a  ]iiece  of  work,  ought  to  go 
through  with  it.  For  my  part  I  like  fair  play.  I  would 
have  everybody  married,  and  blessed,  how  they  please, 
Christian  or  Jew.  Privately  I  really  believe  marriages 
between  Jews  and  Catholics  would  make  capital  half-and- 
half,  one  party  believing  too  much,  and  the  other  too 
little. 

I  wear  no  mitre,  but  if  you  should  wed  a  Polish  Jew- 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  297 

ess,  you  shall  be  welcome  to  my  benediction.  But  thei*e 
has  been  a  precious  fuss  about  nothing.  You  say  the 
Bromberg  ladies,  old  and  young,  were  very  kind  during 
your  illness,  and  sent  you  nourishing  food.  You  have 
omitted  to  mention  whether  they  considerately  masticated 
it  beforehand.  Yes  ?  Of  course  you  will  have  some 
fishing  at  Antonin.  Pray  present  my  best  respects  to 
the  pi'inces.  "Were  I  as  young  as  I  am  old  in  health,  I 
would  come  and  beat  up  your  quarters  at  Posen,  but  my 
travelling  is  over,  in  spite  of  steam  and  railroads ;  so,  if 
we  are  to  meet  again  in  this  world,  I  am  the  mountain, 
and  you,  Mahomet,  must  come  to  it. 

My  domestic  habits  are  very  domestic  indeed;  like 
Charity  I  begin  at  home,  and  end  there ;  so  Faith  and 
Hope  must  call  upon  me,  if  they  wish  to  meet.  And 
really  Faith  and  Hope  are  such  ramblers,  it  will  be  quite 
in  their  line,  so  with  all  faith  in  your  friendship,  and  a 
hope  we  may  some  day  encounter  in  war  or  in  peace, 
I  remain,  my  dear  Johnny, 

Your  true  friend, 

Tim. 

Tom,  Junior,  sends  his  love  and  says,  "if  you  will 
come  he  will  give  you  a  kiss,  and  teach  you  to  draw" 
Vanity  is  born  with  us,  and  pride  dies  with  us ;  put  that 
into  German  by  way  of  metaphysics.  Give  my  love, 
when  you  see  him,  to  the  King  of  Hanover,  and  God 
grant  to  those  he  reigns  over  a  good  umbrella.  I  have 
many  messages  in  a  different  spirit,  which  you  will  be 
able  to  imagine,  for  my  old  comrades,  for  instance,  Carlo- 
vicz.     You  do  not  mention  '"' Ganserich,"  has  \\q  forgotten 

13* 


298  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

to  exist ;  say  something  civil  —  as  becomes  a  civilian  — 
to  the  rest  of  your  militaires  on  my  behalf;  you  will  see 
the  colonel  I  guess,  or  are  you  the  colonel  yourself?  It 
would  be  fatal  now  to  your  hair  to  have  many  go  over 
your  head.  Have  you  ever  tried  currant  jelly  to  it? 
Thank  Heaven  you  require  no  passport,  or  how,  as  Heil- 
man  said,  would  you  get  "  frizz6  ?  "  Shall  we  send  back 
that  hair  lock  you  gave  to  Mrs.  Dilke  ?  No  news  except 
local,  and  you  would  take  no  interest  in  our  abundant 
scandal,  as  you  do  not  know  the  parties.  To  me  it  is 
very  amusing,  there  is  so  much  absurdity  along  with  the 
immoralities ;  it  is  like  an  acted  novel,  only  very  extrav- 
agant. You  know  that  this  is  one  of  the  places  of  refuge 
for  English  scamps,  of  both  sexes.  But  the  parson  and 
I  do  not  encourage  such  doings,  we  are  almost  too  good 
for  them. 

Satuhuay,  6  p.  M.,  Oct.  10th,  1838. 
My  dkar  Wright, 

Take  care  and  do  not  get  drunk  with  your  Prussic 
acid. 

I  wish  you  better  health  in  a  glass  of  sherry.  I  am 
concerned  to  hear  you  still  suffer  with  your  throat,  but 
have  hopes  of  your  medical  advice,  as  Elliot  concurs. 

His  offer  is  very  kind,  and  pray  avail  yourself  of  it  at 
need,  as  I  have  reason  to  know  he  is  sincere  in  his  kindly 
professions.  I  think  also  he  has  t'eri/  great  skill.  For 
myself  you  will  be  glad  to  hear  that  I  am  at  last  taking  a 
change  I  think  for  tlie  better;  partly  from  better  weather, 
but  greatly  I  think  from  the  occasional  use  of  a  warm  sea- 
bath,  and  partly,  B — —  says  he  thinks,  I  am  wearing  out 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  299 

the  disease.  Time  I  did,  says  you,  or  it  would  have  worn 
me  out. 

Something  pei-haps  is  due  to  a  shght  change  of  system, 
but  I  almost  flatter  myself,  there  is  a  change  for  the 
better.  I  have  done  without  my  doctor  for  an  unusually 
long  time,  partly  from  being  better,  and  partly  from  know- 
ing how  to  manage  myself;  I  have  left  off  Cayenne  and 

Devils,  and  such  stimulants  recommended  by  B ,     1 

begin  to  think  as  they  are  supposed  to  be  bad  for  liver 
complaints  in  India,  they  ought  not  to  cure  them  in 
England,  and  referred  to  Elliot,  who  said  "  No,"  very 
decidedly. 

But  I  have  no  great  faith  in  the  principles  of  my  doc- 
tor here,  though  some  in  his  skill,  but  without  the  first, 
the  last  goes  for  little.  He  shook  my  opinion  lately  when 
I  had  rheumatism,  by  giving  me  cantharides  in  lotion, 
which  favoured  me  with  a  sore  foot  for  weeks.  It  looked 
like  making  a  job.  I  now  eat  well  and  have  much  less 
than  before  of  those  depressions,  though  hurried  and  well 
worked.  Tlie  baths  I  do  think  very  highly  of.  Should 
you  see  Elliot,  ask  him ;  you  might  run  over  here  for  a 
fortnight,  they  are  almost  next  door  and  cost  little.  Think 
of  this  seriously.  I  have  not  felt  so  well  from  the 
1st  January  as  during  the  last  ten  days:  accordingly  I 
am  getting  on,  and,  at  the  present  writing,  have  a  sheet 
of  cuts,  besides  those  sent,  and  some  tail-pieces  drawn.  I 
expect  next  packet  (on  Tuesday),  to  send  a  good  lot; 
they  promise  to  be  a  good  set,  and  I  find  the  pencilling 
come  easier,  which  is  lucky,  as  they  are  to  your  mind  too. 
So  I  am  throwing  up  my  hat,  with  hope  of  making  a  good 
fight. 


800  MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

I  doubt  whether  the  first  article  will  be  on  the  Coro- 
nation, which  is  stalish,  but  seem  to  incline  to  "Hints  for 
a  Christmas  Pantomime,  personal,  political,  (not  party), 
and  satirical." 

The  baths  I  have  in  the  house  before  going  to  bed,  — 
no  fear  of  cold.  I  strongly  recommended  them  for  Mrs. 
Dilke,  and  suspect  they  have  gone  to  Brighton  with  that 
view ;  we  have  been  very  anxious  about  her. 

I  hope  to  send  with  this  "  the  Reminiscences,"  but  if 
not  they  will  be  certain  to  come  with  the  cuts  on  Wednes- 
day; I  am  so  full  swing  on  the  drawings,  I  hardly 
like  to  leave  off  to  write.  You  say  you  are  short  of 
prose,  but  there  is  all  "  Doppledick."  "We  heard  to-day 
from  Franck  :  he  is  well,  and  back,  to  his  great  joy,  at 
Bromberg  and  his  fishing ;  he  has  at  last  caught  a  sal- 
mon of  eleven  pounds.  He  tells  me  a  sporting  anecdote 
of  a  gentleman  he  knows,  that  will  amuse  you  as  it  did 
me.  He  was  shooting  bustards,  of  which  there  are 
plenty  near  Berlin.  They  are  shy  to  excess,  but  do  not 
mind  country  people  at  work,  «&;c. ;  so  seeing  a  boy  driv- 
ing a  harrow,  he  went  along  with  him,  instructing  him 
how  to  manoeuvre  to  get  nearer.  At  last,  wishing  to 
cross  to  the  other  side  of  the  harrow,  he  was  stepping  in- 
side of  the  traces,  as  the  shortest  cut,  when  at  that  very 
instant  the  horses  took  fright,  and  he  was  obliged  to  run, 
with  the  gun  in  one  hand,  taking  double  care  between 
the  horse's  heels,  and  the  harrow,  which  occasionally 
urged  him  on  with  short  jobs  from  the  spikes.  It  might 
have  been  serious,  but  just  as  he  was  getting  tired  out, 
tlie  horses  stopped  at  the  hedge ;  the  gentleman,  besides 
the  spurring,  having  his  breeches  almost  torn  off  by  the 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD.  301 

harrow.  Franck  wants  me  to  draw  it,  and  truly  a 
flogging  at  Harrow  School,  would  hardly  equal  it  for 
effect. 

Wellesley  went  back  to  Brussels  to-day ;  I  declined 
dining  with  him,  but  he  sent  me  venison  twice,  some 
Wanstead  rabbits,  birds,  and  a  hare.  We  have  been  up 
the  railway  to  Bruges  in  forty-six  minutes,  Brussels  in 

six  hours  for  nine  francs !      Tell  B to  think  of  this. 

Count  Edouard  de  Melfort  wrote  a  book  "  Impressions  of 
England  ;  "  he  is  a  cousin  of  the  Stanhopes  :  the  family 
are  to  stay  here  the  winter,  and  as  we  like  him  and  her, 
and  they  seem  to  like  us,  they  will  be  an  acquisition  for 
the  winter.  They  sometimes  drop  upon  us,  as  he  calls 
it,  and  we  drop  upon  them.  As  to  local  news,  lots  of 
scandal,  as  usual ;  I  could  fill  a  whole  Satirist  with  our 
own  town-made.  I  think  the  idea  of  "  The  Heads  "  a 
good  one,  but  do  not  like  the  specimen  either  as  to  the 
head,  or  the  style  of  the  writing;  and  now  God  bless 
you.     I  must  to  work  again,  and  leave  Jane  to  fill  up 

the  rest.     Kindest  regards  to  Mrs.  W from 

Your  ever,  dear  Wright, 

Very  sincerely, 

Thomas  Hood. 

N.  B.  My  hand  aches  with  drawing,  I  am  going  to 
bed  for  a  change. 

Pray  put  in  again  the  advertisement  of  Harrison's 
Hotel  in  "  Hood's  Own,"  and  keep  it  standing  to  the  end  ; 
kind  regards  to  everybody  all  round  my  hat.  We  had 
a  complete  wreck,  close  to  the  mouth  of  the  harbour, 
such  "  a  distribution  of  effects,"  no  lives  lost,  but  such  a 


302  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

litter,  as  Jane  vould  call  it.     The  cook's    skimmer  was 
saved,  at  all  events,  for  I  saw  it. 

There  was  a  soldier  shot  to  death  at  Franck's  last 
review  —  putting  stones  in  the  guns  !  The  confusion  on 
our  rail  is  great,  one  may  easily  go  on  the  wrong  line ; 
two  of  our  party  at  Bruges  were  actually  in  the  wrong 
coaches,  but  were  got  out  in  time  ;  I  shall  make  some  fun 
of  this.  We  have  had  the  Nagelmacher  family  from 
Liege,  and  Miss  Moore,  lodging  for  a  fortniglit  on  the 
floor  below,  but  they  are  gone  again.  How  goes  on  the 
Amaranth,  or  off  rather?  And  have  you  seen  the 
Bayaderes  ?  Our  new  opposition  steamer  is  come  — 
"The  Bruges" — a  very  fine  boat.  But  how  will  the 
fish  like  the  railroad,  seeing  they  now  have  such  facilities 
for  going  by  land,  there  will  be  many  more  fish  out  of 
water ;  who  can  calculate  the  results  in  future,  of  railroads 
to  bird,  beast  and  fish  —  besides  man  ?  AVe  have 
begun  fires  in  my  little  room,  quite  snug.  Tom  is  going 
into  trousers  for  the  winter,  and  is  very  proud  of  it.  He 
complained  the  other  day  that  "Mary  washed  all  the 
flavour  off  his  face." 

Well,  I  must  shut  up  ;  I  have  done  a  good  day's  work, 
and  leave  off  not  very  fagged,  but  rather  cocky,  as  the 
tone  of  this  will  show.  Give  me  but  health  and  I  will 
fetch  up  with  a  wet  sail,  (but  not  Avetted  with  water). 
Who  knows  but  some  day  Jane  will  have  a  fortune 
of  her  own,  at  least  a  mangle.  Has  your  mother 
sold  her  mangle  ?  I  admire  Harvey's  "  Arabians " 
extremely. 


MEMOKIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  303 


November  22nd,  1838. 


My  dear  Wright, 

I  have  no  immediate  occasion  for  writing,  but  hoping 
that  my  chance  letters  may  be  as  agreeable  to  you  as 
yours  ai'e  to  myself,  I  sit  down  partly  for  your  sake  and 
partly  for  mine  own,  as  it  is  pleasant  to  exchange  the 
pencil  for  the  pen.  I  have  just  sent  you  off  nine  more 
principal  cuts :  in  my  list  I  have  put  "  Off  by  Mutual 
Consent"  and  "All  Round  my  Hat"  as  principals,  and 
so  you  can  make  them,  should  I  not  send  you  others  in 
lieu  by  the  packet  that  leaves  here  on  Saturday,  when  I 
hope  to  send  you  all  the  drawings,  tail-pieces  and  all ; 
exclusive  of  frontispiece,  which  I  should  be  really  glad 
if  Harvey  would  do  for  me,  however  slightly,  I  sending 
an  idea  for  it,  as  I  am  very  short  of  time.  The  effect  of 
"  Hood's  Own "  has  been  to  somewhat  hinder  the 
"  Comic,"  by  preventing  that  quiet  /oz-ethinking  which 
provided  me  with  subjects,  but  I  have  done  wonders  on 
the  whole. 

The  "  Comic  "  is  always  a  lay  miracle,  and  done  under 
very  peculiar  circumstances ;  perhaps  being  used  to  it  is 
something,  though  the  having  done  it  for  so  many  years, 
and  having  fired  700  or  800  shots,  makes  the  birds  more 
rare,  i.  e.  cuts  and  subjects.  But  somehow  it  always  is 
done,  and  this  time  apparently  by  a  special  Providence. 
God  knows  what  I  did,  for  the  "  Hood's  Own  "  was  the 
utmost  I  could  do.  Strange  as  it  may  appear,  although 
little  as  it  is,  it  amounts  probably  on  calculation  to  half  a 
"  Comic,"  as  to  MS.  But  I  literally  could  do  no  more, 
however  willing  ;  the  more 's  the  pity  for  my  own  sake, 
for  it  was  a  very  promising  spec.     For  the  rest  I  feel 


804  MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD. 

precisely  as  you  do  about  "  My  Literary  Reminiscences," 
but  the  fact  is  all  I  have  done,  I  hoped  to  do  in  one  or 
two  numbers.  For  instance,  the  very  last  time  I  was 
thus  thrown  out. 

As  usual,  I  had  begun  at  the  end,  and  then  written 
the  beginning ;  all  that  I  had  to  do  was  the  middle,  and 
breaking  down  in  that,  you  had  but  a  third  of"  what  I 
had  intended.  It  was  like  a  fatality.  Moreover  I  never 
wrote  anything  with  more  difRculty  from  a  shrinking 
nervousness  about  egotism. 

But  although  declining  to  give  a  life,  I  thought  it  not 
out  of  character  to  give  the  circumstances  that  prepared, 
educated,  and  made  me  a  literary  man  —  which  might 
date  from  my  ill-health  in  Scotland,  &c.  Should  I  be  as 
well  as  I  am  now,  1  hope  to  fetch  up  all  arrears  in  Nos. 
11  and  12:  and  it  may  be  advisable  to  give  a  supple- 
ment, as,  after  December,  I  shall  be  free  of  the  "  Comic," 
and  it  may  help  the  volume  of  "  Hood's  Own,"  with  lit- 
erary letters  from  Lamb,  &c.  &c.  &c.  This  is  my  pres- 
ent plan,  and  perhaps  the  13th  No.  would  partly  help  to 

sell  up  the  whole.     But  advise  on  this  with  B ,  &c. 

In  the  meantime  you  will  have  a  good  batch  for  next 
No. :  allowing  me  as  long  as  you  can,  perhaps  the  whole 
first  sheet,  and  more  afterwards.     This  I  know  to  be 

mine  own  interest  —  I  would  not  have   B lose  on 

any  account,  much  less  on  mine.  With  letters,  «Scc.,  I 
could  fill  a  good  deal  when  I  am  once  clear  of  the 
"  Comic"  —  about  which  I  am  in  capital  spirits.  I  think 
I  have  a  good  average  set  of  cuts,  and  some  good  subjects 
for  text.  But  above  all,  as  the  best  of  my  prospects, 
and  for  which  I  thank  God,  as  some  good  old  writer 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS   HOOD.  305 

said,  "  on  the  knees  of  my  heart,"  is  the,  to  me,  very  un- 
expected improvement  in  my  heaUh,  which  I  truly  felt 
to  be  all  I  want  towards  my  temporal  prosperity.  The 
change  has  been  singularly  sudden  for  a  chronic  disease. 
I  wish  I  could  hear  as  good  news  of  Mrs.  Dilke  as  this, 
which  I  beg  of  you  to  convey  to  them.  Pray  say  that 
as  far  as  I  can  judge,  a  radical  change  for  the  better  has 
taken  place.  I  have  some  thoughts,  as  a  finisher  and 
refresher  after  the  "Comic"  (both  for  body  and  mind), 
of  dropping  in  on  them  for  three  or  four  days  —  in  which 
case  you  will  not  have  further  advice.  I  want  to  talk 
over  the  German  book  with  him,  which  I  shall  most 
assuredly  soon  get  through,  health  permitting,  in  the 
course  of  February  or  March. 

I  do  most  seriously,  comically,  earnestly,  and  jocosely 
tell  you  that  "  Richard  is  himself  again,"  and  therefore 
you  need  not,  Hibernically,  have  any  fears  on  Tom's 
account :  which  last  word  reminds  me  of  your  kindness 
in  going  through  all  mine  —  for  which  I  thank  you  as 
earnestly,  as  I  know  you  have  been  engaged  on  the  work. 
You  must  occupy  yourself  much  on  my  behalf,  and  I  can 
make  you  no  return  but  to  say  that  I  feel  it,  which  I  do, 
very  sincerely,  or  I  should  not  take  so  much  to  heart  as 
I  do,  the  good  effects  of  Prussic  acid  on  your  complaint, 
and  wish  the  three  drops  which  would  kill  any  one  else, 
could  render  you  immortal,  at  least  as  long  as  you  liked 
to  be  alive.  But  it  does  seem,  or  sound  an  odd  remedy, 
like  being  revived  by  the  "  New  Drop." 

I  am  writing  a  strange  scrawl,  but  my  hand  is  cramped 
by  drawing.  Otherwise,  "  I  am  well,  considering,"  as  the 
man  said,  when  he  was  asked  all  of  a  sudden.     Some- 

T 


306  MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS   HOOD. 

times  I  feel  quite  ashamed  of  these  bulletins  about  my 
carcase,  till  I  recollect  that  it  is  too  far  off  to  be  of  inter- 
est merely  as  a  subject.  Seriously  I  believe  I  am  better, 
and  if  I  enforce  it  somewhat  ostentatiously  on  my  friends, 
it  is  because  I  have  achieved  a  victory  unhoped  lor  by 
myself! 

To  allude  to  the  battle  of  Waterloo,  I  should  have  been 
glad  to  make  it  a  drawn  game,  but  I  think  I  shall  escape 
the  Strasbourg  pie,  after  all. 

The  above  was  written  sometime  back,  and  given  up 
from  sleepiness.  I  have  now  yours  of  the  19th.  Glad 
you  like  the  cuts  —  I  think  they  are  a  good  set.  To-day, 
or  to-night  rather,  liave  sent  off  three  more  large,  which 
if  you  take  in  "  Off  by  Mutual  Consent,"  will  make  up 
the  six  sheets.  Also  three  more  tail-pieces,  in  all  forty- 
eight  and  eleven.  A  dozen  more  tail-pieces  will  do.  I 
wish  Harvey  would  do  the  frontispiece,  I  am  so  very 
short  of  time.     Mcthinks  the  lines 

"  TNIirth,  that  wrinkled  care  derides, 
And  Laughter  holding  both  his  sides," 

would  supply  a  subject.  The  "  Reminiscences"  I  must 
send  you  on  Saturday  by  the  ^'  3Ienai;"  our  post  comes 
and  goes  so  awkwardly. 

Thank  God  I  keep  pretty  well,  —  a  day  or  two  back 
rather  illisli,  but  took  a  warm  bath  and  am  better,  won- 
derfully, considering  my  "  confinement."  After  the  Cus- 
tom-house stoppage,  no  fear  for  some  time  of  any  hitch. 
It  only  cost  three  shillings,  as  the  woman  says. 

I  hope  I\Ir.  C.  will  not  forget  the  books  I  wrote  for,  by 
next  Saturday's  boat.     Pray  send  me  proofs,  rough  or 


MEMORIALS   OF  THOMAS  HOOD.  307 

anyhow,  of  all  the  cuts  you  can,  as  they  help  me  in  writ- 
ing. Do  not  forget  this.  Bradbury's  proofs  will  do.  It 
is  getting  very  wintry,  and  I  and  the  fires  are  set  in —  in 
my  little  room.  You  talk  of  a  grand  Christening  Batch 
—  but  Avhat  is  to  be  the  name  of  "my  eldest  daughter, 
Sir  ?  "  Tom  exclaimed  pathetically  this  morning,  "  I 
wish  I  had  none  teeth  ! "  He  is  cutting  some  that  plague 
him !  He  draws  almost  as  much  as  I  do,  and  very  funny 
things  he  makes.  He  picks  up  both  Flemish  and  French. 
We  went  to  a  French  play  the  other  night,  and  I  was 
much  amused  by  an  actor  very  much  a  la  Power.  It  set 
me  theatrically  agog  again.  Perhaps  —  who  knows  ?  — 
I  may  yet  do  an  opera  with  Eooke !  In  the  meantime,  I 
shall  some  day  send  you  the  piece  that  was  accepted  by 
Price,  with  a  character  for  Liston,  for  you  to  offer  to  Yates. 
Jane  is  going  to  write,  so  I  make  over  to  her  the  other 
flap.  We  were  much  rejoiced  to  hear  good  news  of  Mrs. 
Dilke,  as  we  had  not  had  a  word.  Pray  tell  Dilke  how 
much  better  I  have  been,  and  take  care  of  yourself,  and 
believe  me,  with  God  bless  you  all. 
Yours  very  truly, 

Thomas  Hoor>. 

What  a  capital  fish  a  dory  is  !     We  had  one  for  din 
ner  t'  other  day.     Good  —  hot  or  cold. 

OsTEND,  Dec.  17,  1838. 

My  dear  Mrs.  Dilke, 
As  I  always  came  to  your  parties  with  a  shocking  bad 
cold,  I  now  wi-ite  to  you  with  one  which  I  have  had  for 
three  days  running.     But  it  was  to  be  expected,  consid- 


308       MEMORIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 

ering  the  time  of  the  yeai'  and  the  climate,  which  is  so 
moist  that  it 's  drier  when  it  rains  than  when  it  don't. 
Then  these  Phlegmings  (mind  and  always  spell  it  as  I 
do)  —  these  Phlegmings  are  so  phlegmatic,  if  it 's  a  wet 
night,  your  coachman  won't  fetch  you  home,  and  if  it 's  a 
cold  one,  your  doctor  won't  come  ;  if  he  does,  ten  to  one 
you  may  forestal  his  prescription.  If  it 's  a  sore,  a  carrot 
poultice ;  if  an  inward  disorder,  a  carrot  diet.  I  only 
wonder  they  don't  bleed  at  the  carotid  artery ;  and  when 
one's  head  is  shaved,  order  a  carroty  wig.  The  only 
reason  I  can  find  is  that  carrots  grow  here  in  fields-full. 

Well,  my  book  is  done,  and  I  'm  not  dead,  though  I  've 
had  a  "  warning."  The  book  ran  much  longer  than  I 
had  contemplated,  and  I  've  left  out  some  good  bits  after 
all,  for  fear  of  compromising  Franck  and  my  informants. 
It  has  half  as  much  writing  again  as  the  "  Comic,"  and 
I  told  Baily  to  consult  Dilke  about  the  price,  as  it  has 
five  sheets  more  paper  and  print  than  the  Annual. 

We  thought  this  week's  "  Athenaeum "  much  duller 
than  the  one  before  it ;  it  had  n't  such  a  fine  hock  fla- 
vour. I  read  the  review  six  times  over,  for  the  sake 
of  the  extracts  ;  and  then  the  extracts  six  times,  for  the 
sake  of  the  review.  If  that  is  n't  fair  play  between  author 
and  critic,  I  don't  know  what  is.  I  have  been  prophesy- 
ing what  will  be  Dilke's  next  extracts.  We  go  on  as 
usual  at  Ostend.  Tell  Dilke  there  are  some  otlier 
"  friends  "  staying  at  Harrison's,  a  Captain  B.,  alias  K., 
and  Sir  W.  J.,  said  to  be  of  large  fortune.  But  what  a 
residence  to  choose ! 

I  heard  also  of  two  young  men  obliged  to  fly  from  the 
troubles   at   Hanover;  but  it  turns  out   that   they  have 


MEMORIALS   OF   THOMAS  HOOD.  309 

robbed  or  swindled  a  Chatham  Bank.  So  we  don't 
improve.  A  Colonel  B.  has  done  W.  out  of  100/.,  and 
an  English  lady,  in  passing  through,  did  the  banker  here 
out  of  78/.  Then  an  Englishman  shot  at  his  wife  the 
other  day  with  an  air-gun ;  and  Mrs.  F.  will  not  set  her 
foot  in  our  house  again,  because  I  gave  her  a  lecture  on 
scandal-mongering ;  and  the  doctor  has  done  Captain  F. 
in  the  sale  of  some  gin ;  and  the  Captain  talks  of  calling 
out  the  ddttor  for  speaking  ill  of  his  wife ;  and  the  De 
M.s  are  gone  ;  —  a  fig  for  Reid  and  Marshall,  and  their 
revolving  hurricanes  !  We  Ostenders  live  in  a  perpetual 
round  of  breezes. 

I  must  now  begin  to  nurse  poor  Jenny,  who  has  had 
no  time  to  mend  and  cobble  her  own  health  for  soldering 
up  mine.  The  children,  thank  God,  are  very  well,  and 
very  good,  and  "  so  clever ! "  The  other  day,  Jane  ad- 
vised Fanny  to  talk  to  C (about  her  own  age)  to 

subdue  her  temper.  "  Oh,"  said  Fanny,  "  she  is  so  giddy, 
it  would  be  like  the  Vicar  of  Wakefield  preaching  to  the 
prisoners  I "  Tom  has  taken  to  his  book  con  amove,  and 
draws,  and  spells,  and  tries  to  write  with  all  his  heart, 
soul,  and  strength.  He  has  learned  of  his  own  accord 
to  make  all  the  Roman  capitals,  and  labels  all  his  di-aw- 
ings,  and  inscribes  all  his  properties,  TOM  HOOD.  He 
is  very  funny  in  his  designs.  The  other  day,  he  drew 
an  old  woman  with  a  book  :  "  That 's  a  witch,  and  the 
book  is  a  Life  of  the  Devil ! "  Where  this  came  from, 
Heaven  knows.  But  how  it  would  have  shocked  Aunt 
Betsy  !  The  fact  is,  he  pores  and  ponders  over  Retsch's 
'*  Faust,"  and  "  Hamlet,"  and  the  like,  as  a  child  of 
larger  groAvth.  But  he  is  as  well  and  jolly  and  good- 
tempered  as  ever ;  and  as  he  is  so  inclined  to  be  busy 


310 


MEMOEIALS  OF  THOMAS  HOOD. 


with  his  little  head,  we  don't  urge  him,  but  let  him  take 
his  own  course.     So  much  for  godma  and  godpa. 

I  cannot  write  more  at  present,  as  Mary  is  in  the 
room,  and  she  is  a  great  listener.     God  bless  you  all ! 

Yours  ever  truly, 

Thomas  Hood. 

P.  S.  —  I  shall  thank  Dilke  for  the  two  vols,  of  the 
*'  Athen^um  "  when  I  write  to  him,  which  will  be  after 
the  tail  of  my  review.  The  discovery  at  Treves,  &c.,  is 
stale  —  I  mean  the  window  story  —  six  years  old  at 
least.  Puff  of  the  K.  of  P.  to  gull  John  Bull  of  some 
money. 

P.  P.  S.  —  I  forgot  to  mention  tliat  I  had  a  little  duel 
of  messages  with  my  "  scandal-mongering  "  acquaintance  * 
the  other  day.  "  Pray  tell  Mr.  Hud,"  says  she,  "  that  I 
have  no  doubt  but  his  complaint  is  a  scurrilous  liver ! " 
(schirrous).  So  I  sent  her  my  compliments,  and  begged 
leave  to  say  that  was  better  than  a  "  cantankerous  giz- 
zard ! " 


^>^-^/>     '^C^j-.  0    U/lxat  d  CooSO  ! 


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